


Daddy Kik

by Ineedyounowandalways



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Car Sex, Couch Cuddles, Discovery, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Texting, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Fuckbuddies, Fucked Up, Fucking, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hate to Love, Idiots in Love, Kink Discovery, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, M/M, Neighbour Harry Styles, Oral Sex, Romantic Fluff, Sex, Sexting, Shipping, Snogging, Texting, Top Louis, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:52:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 108,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9111334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedyounowandalways/pseuds/Ineedyounowandalways
Summary: Louis topsLarry smutWhat else?orwhere at the very beginning Louis is a fuckboy and Harry can't stand him.How is their 'friendship' going to end up? (except for the smut)





	1. Chapter 1

New chat from loveyourdickbby!

loveyourdickbby: is it you in the icon, princess?

its_curlyhere: go away, please.

loveyourdickbby: wheres the problem i can solve it 

its_curlyhere: dont really like your nick.

loveyourdickbby: then wanna see my dick? ;)

its_curlyhere: please...i dont wanna have this type of conversation.

loveyourdick: mhh buttom

its_curlyhere: nonsense.

loveyourdickbby: your ass will be broken soon, princess. Does it make sense?

its_curlyhere: im not gay.

loveyourdickbby: surw

its_curlyhere: where did you find my nick?

loveyourdickbby: among my balls

its_curlyhere: no, seriously.

loveyourdickbby: if youre the lil boy who i can see in your icon then yeah, seriously, i wanna fuck you


	2. - March 13th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: ok now why are you avoiding me

loveyourdickbby: honey 

loveyourdickbby: come here

loveyourdickbby: dont you want me :(

its_curlyhere: dont. text. me.

loveyourdickbby: why not princess

its_curlyhere: i dont like you.

loveyourdickbby: in fact you like my dick 

its_curlyhere: naff off.

loveyourdickbby: what happened to the lil baby of yesterday

its_curlyhere: yesterday i just wanted to be kind with you, but since you didnt appreciate it, now go away and dont text me.

loveyourdickbby: princess what made you change your mind? i appreciated your kindness but id appreciate a pic of your dick even more

its_curlyhere: see, the only thing you care about is sex.

loveyourdickbby: well world works that way princess whether you like it or not

its_curlyhere: i dont like you, its different.

loveyourdickbby: so why you still texting me mh? 

loveyourdickbby: you want me

loveyourdickbby: you know im right

loveyourdickbby: princess...?


	3. - March 20th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: c'mon princess where are you

its_curlyhere: stop.

loveyourdickbby: i promise ill never stop

loveyourdickbby: expecially when ill be fucking your lil bum

its_curlyhere: yeah, sure.

loveyoudickbby: i like the fact you always end your texts with a .

its_curlyhere: is writing 'dot' too complicated for your little fingers?

loveyourdickbby: my lil fingers will make you moan af

loveyourdickbby: so what about the dick pic

loveyourdickbby: doesnt it sound good

its_curlyhere: no, it just rhymes.

loveyourdickbby: yeah okay so arent you gonna send it to daddy?

its_curlyhere: daddy?

loveyourdickbby: yes princess say my name

its_curlyhere: ...

loveyourdickbby: c'mon princess im waiting

its_curlyhere: you'll be waiting your whole life then


	4. - March 25th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: thinkin about you bby

its_curlyhere: not thinking about you.

loveyourdickbby: your onlinee

its_curlyhere: its "you're", you ignorant human being.

loveyourdickbby: its curly here

its_curlyhere: ...

loveyourdick: :)))

its_curlyhere: stop being creepy.

loveyourdickbby: stop being pissed off at daddy

its_curlyhere: ive already told you im not gay, and you're not my daddy. 

loveyourdickbby: so why you still texting me princess

its_curlyhere: im waiting for the bus and im bored, so i waste my time with you.

loveyourdickbby: so are you the lil kitten in your icon or...?

its_curlyhere: yes, its me.

loveyourdickbby: its curly

loveyourdickbby: here

its_curlyhere: you're not even funny.

loveyourdickbby: its your

its_curlyhere: sorry, are you idiot?

loveyourdickbby: no and im not even curly

its_curlyhere: ...

loveyourdickbby: .. .. ..

its_curlyhere: i hate you 

loveyourdickbby: have you seen my new icon baby 

its_curlyhere: sadly yes, i have.

loveyourdickbby: changed it just for you so you can see how big your daddy is ;)

its_curlyhere: well, 'daddy', you're not big. You're just gross.

loveyourdickbby: have you seen bigger cocks?

its_curlyhere: mine.

loveyourdickbby: oh?

its_curlyhere: i think the information destabilized you. Maybe its because your lack of experience. 

loveyourdickbby: lack of experience? What? Princess i dont think you understood who your texting with

its_curlyhere: its "you're".

loveyourdickbby: someones being bad here

loveyourdickbby: daddy doesnt like it 

its_curlyhere: well, daddy, its not my problem.

loveyourdickbby: well princess you're wrong

its_curlyhere: you are.

loveyourdickbby: oh not at all

its_curlyhere: you're boring.

loveyourdickbby: i wouldnt be boring if only i could spank you trust me

its_curlyhere: so you didnt tell me where you found my nick.

loveyourdickbby: its a secret princess

its_curlyhere: a secret princess? Did you kidnapped her?

loveyourdickbby: and you have the balls to tell me im not funny

its_curlyhere: you're not.

loveyourdickbby: its funny the fact you told me youre not gay

loveyourdickbby: that was a good one

its_curlyhere: im not gay.

loveyourdickbby: and my dicks not huge

its_curlyhere: its not.

loveyourdickbby: id spank you so hard right now princess you cant even imagine

its_curlyhere: sadly you cant. What a terrible loss.

loveyourdickbby: one day i will. Cant wait.

its_curlyhere: maybe you cant actually wait since you need sex more than anything else in life and you surely will be fucking someone else in a couple of mins so you can stop pretending you want me.


	5. - April 1st, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: kitten its been a week...

loveyourdickbby: daddy misses you

loveyourdickbby: :(

its_curlyhere: go away, please.

loveyourdickbby: whats wrong 

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: okay but dont ignore me

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: hey...whats wrong baby

its_curlyhere: you.

loveyoudickbby: i know we're on the first day of April but c'mon dont be that funny princess

\- - - 

loveyoudickbby: ?


	6. - April 2nd, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: honey i was wondering

loveyourdickbby: how old are you? 15?

its_curlyhere: why the fuck are you still texting me.

loveyourdickbby: theres something about you i like 

loveyourdickbby: no matter how many boys i sleep with 

its_curlyhere: oh, sure. Im different, im the one who has the power to change your life and your mind. Sure. I have supernatural powers.

loveyourdickbby: i didnt mean so

its_curlyhere: yeah, whatever. Go fuck someone now.

loveyourdickbby: kitten you alright

its_curlyhere: dont call me kitten, or princess, or baby. Dont call me.

loveyourdickbby: no but what happened 

its_curlyhere: stop. You dont care. No need to pretend.

loveyourdickbby: i just wanted to know whats wrong since youre acting really weird

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: you know i dont like it when you read a text of mine and you dont reply

loveyourdickbby: you should be a good boy

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: ...


	7. - September 9th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: kirrwm

loveyourdickbby: werarw u

loveyourdickbby: i sont unserstanf y u dontwantmw

loveyourdickbby: pls xomeher

loveyourdickbby: loce uer curly sm

its_curlyhere: you're pitiful.

loveyourdickbby: uehere

loveyourdickbby: cimeher e

loveyourdickbby: lrt mw fuk urlil ass

loveyourdickbby: where rcu

loveyourdickbby: kirrten 

loveyourdickbby: itsok ifudunt wsant mr to usee a comdom

loveyourdickbby: ikbbyno condpms

loveyourdickbby: heyhry hey butwhereare u

loveyourdickbby: u hav  a dildp??


	8. -  September 10th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: hey...sorry for yesterday i was a bit wasted

loveyourdickbby: its okay if you dont wanna text me back

loveyourdickbby: got used to it

\- - -

its_curlyhere: its just...i dont understand why you keep texting me. I dont know who you are. You dont know who i am. We are different. And i dont even understand why the fuck i still hadnt blocked you. 

loveyourdickbby: cause you want me as much as i want you princess

loveyourdickbby: thats it

its_curlyhere: how could it be even possible. I dont know you, i dont want you.

loveyourdickbby: we texted a bit so it could be possible actually

loveyourdickbby: not to mention my dick

loveyourdickbby: i know you love it kitten

its_curlyhere: that doesnt deal with your dick. And im not gay. I was talking about something else. And stop being a fuckboy with me.

loveyourdickbby: you missed me didnt you honey

\- - - 

loveyourdickbby: ?

its_curlyhere: what.

loveyourdickbby: your not a rebel if you read my texts and dont reply you know right

its_curlyhere: you surely arent an english teacher since you're at least 16 and cant even write a verb correctly.

loveyourdickbby: no but i can fuck you

loveyourdickbby: just the way you like it

its_curlyhere: so you have a pussy 

loveyourdickbby: kitten that dick you see near my names as real as your desire to be fucked by me

loveyourdick: i know you always think about it (who wouldnt?)

loveyourdickbby: and stop pretending youre not gay, c'mon princess we both know you are 

\- - - 

loveyourdickbby: what my words were so real that they hit you and you died

its_curlyhere: why dont you read some books so you can improve your english? I suggest you to read more, really. 

loveyourdickbby: are porn books included in the reading list

its_curlyhere: they're not, sorry.

loveyourdickbby: so what do you want me to read princess

its_curlyhere: it doesnt matter, i know you're not going to read it, so...

loveyourdickbby: if my princess want me to read something then im up to it

its_curlyhere: is she the mermaid one? Cause i really like her. I mean, the princess. 

loveyourdick: no baby its you 

its_curlyhere: wow, didnt know i was a princess. 

loveyourdickbby: been telling you every day since March princess

its_curlyhere: at least you wrote 'March' correctly.

loveyourdickbby: its because of you

its_curlyhere: this conversations been taking too much time. Should i be worried about your resistance?

loveyourdickbby: told you its because of you lil one


	9. - September 11th, 2010 -

loveyoudickbby: my left hand on your lil thigh

loveyourdickbby: my mouth sucking you off

loveyourdickbby: my fingers pressing onto your perfect skin

loveyourdickbby: my right hand touching your balls and squeezing them a bit

loveyourdickbby: your moans echoing in the room making my dick hurt more and more

its_curlyhere: did you copy that from wikipedia? 

loveyourdickbby: you cant find those professional texts on wikipedia

its_curlyhere: oh, thanks. At least you know what wikipedia is.

loveyourdickbby: hows your dick baby

loveyourdickbby: is it ready

its_curyhere: yours is ready to be broken by my fists.

loveyourdickbby: so you like it rough 

loveyourdickbby: just like me princess

its_curlyhere: wrong chat. Wrong person.

loveyourdickbby: baby im sure this is the chat i wanna be in

its_curlyhere: its not.

loveyourdickbby: you wanna cum all over my face dont you

loveyourdickbby: and if you'll be a good boy i will also give you the chance to lick my face with all of your cum on it

its_curlyhere: that would be really nice of you, but id rather lick my bath tub.

loveyourdickbby: why would you choose a bath tub when you have my face

its_curlyhere: cause not only your face is probably ugly but you also are a dickhead so basically everything would suck as hell.

loveyourdickbby: oh baby im sure youd suck my dick so well

loveyourdickbby: first youd deny you love doing it 

loveyourdickbby: but then youd keep going and finally admit how you really feel about it

loveyourdickbby: then id fuck yoir  lil hole

loveyourdickbby: and id make you feel so good the only thing you'll be able to do will be screaming and moaning my name till youd cum all over me 

its_curlyhere: you're ridiculous.

its_curlyhere: also, you send me texts where you state you wanna fuck me but you dont really know how mu body looks so you're even more ridiculous.

its_curlyhere: my*

loveyourdickbby: princess my immagination as no limits

its_curlyhere: i see.


	10. - September 12th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: may i hear you moaning for me

loveyourdickbby: id feel honoured

loveyourdickbby: it would enlighten my day and my life in general

its_curlyhere: speak as you eat, daddy.

loveyourdickbby: my babys improving his language isnt he

loveyourdickbby: good boy

its_curlyhere: it was sarcasm, you idiot.

loveyourdickbby: now dont be disrespectful

its_curlyhere: did you use a dictionary?

loveyourdickbby: nope but my mum says i am disrespectful all the time so

its_curlyhere: what about the spelling? Did you get it cause you're lucky or...?

loveyourdickbby: baby i made a special effort for you

its_curlyhere: yeah, right.

loveyourdickbby: so tell me something about your lil cute voice

loveyourdickbby: is it just cute or also sexy

its_curlyhere: i dont know?

loveyourdickbby: may i have your number so we could talk and id have the pleasure to listen to your amazing voice?

its_curlyhere: ...

loveyourdickbby: c'mon i thought this time my grammar was correct

its_curlyhere: i wont give you my number, and dont stress me out with this.

loveyourdickbby: babyy i dont wanna stress you out i wanna make you feel good

loveyourdickbby: but your making it impossible for me :(

its_curlyhere: yeah, sorry for that.

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: baby im hard

its_curlyhere: to stand? yes, you are. I cant stand you.

loveyourdickbby: dont you wanna make daddy cum

its_curlyhere: of course, daddy, i dont want to.

loveyourdickbby: *dick pic attached*

loveyourdickbby: i was thinking about you 

its_curlyhere: bye bye, see you never in a million years.

loveyourdickbby: see you love it princess

\- - - 

loveyourdickbby: i was serious when i said i was thinking about you 

loveyourdickbby: and me

loveyourdickbby: and my hands all over you 

loveyourdickbby: my lips all over yours

loveyourdickbby: my dick all the way up to your lil bum

loveyourdickbby: you underneath me looking like a hot mess while i fuck you so fucking hard

loveyourdickbby: and your moans getting louder and louder

loveyourdickbby: shit i need you here

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: princess?

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: where are youu

its_curlyhere: stop. My mobile has been feeling sick because of your texts. Respect my beautiful mobile.

loveyourdickbby: okay now send me a pic of your dick

its_curlyhere: you're so boring.

loveyourdickbby: if only youd be here with me baby you wouldnt say shit about me

its_curlyhere: okay.

loveyourdick: dick pic?

its_curlyhere: go watch some porno and, again, dont stress me out anymore with dick pics cause you'll never get them by me.

its_curlyhere: my dicks too huge for the camera.

loveyourdickbby: shit now i wanna see it even more

its_curlyhere: i gave you my advice. Now do whatever you want.

loveyourdickbby: :(


	11. - September 13th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: you have a boyfriend

loveyourdickbby: or a girlfriend

loveyourdickbby: this is why you dont wanna text me dirty things or send me pics 

its_curlyhere: how could you even think about someone being with me? In a relationship? 

its_curlyhere: nobody wants me...

loveyourdickbby: baby what are you saying

loveyourdickbby: i would do anything to just have you in front of me

its_curlyhere: please, stop it.

loveyourdickbby: nope tell me why you think nobody wants you

its_curlyhere: cause its real.

loveyourdickbby: i want you 

its_curlyhere: you dont count.

loveyourdickbby: oh i dont?

its_curlyhere: no, you dont.

loveyourdickbby: why princess

its_curlyhere: cause you dont know who i am and you just saw my face.

loveyourdickbby: so? youre an interesting kitten

its_curlyhere: oh, please.

loveyourdickbby: youre welcome

its_curlyhere: ...

its_curlythere: that was your best nonsense text ever.

loveyourdickbby: baby c'mon trust me

loveyourdickbby: i do want you

its_curlyhere: you want my 'cute lil bum', its different.

its_curlyhere: and you didnt even see it.

loveyourdickbby: yeah okay but its not just your bum

its_curlyhere: yes, it is. And stop saying shit.

loveyourdickbby: but what if i wanna know you 

its_curlyhere: you dont...

loveyourdickbby: i do kitten

loveyourdickbby: so where are you from 

loveyourdickbby: i mean where do you live

its_curlyhere: im not telling you where i live at.

loveyourdickbby: why not :(

its_curlyhere: it would make no difference and i dont wanna meet you or see you or talk to you. You would end up trying to fuck me or something like that. No thanks.

loveyourdickbby: i would never fuck you if i didnt have your consent

its_curlyhere: yeah, and i trust you.

loveyourdickbby: baby

its_curlyhere: stop. 

loveyourdickbby: youre irresistible when you pretend you hate me or you want me to think youre not interested in me

its_curlyhere: i. dont. know. you.

loveyourdickbby: so?

its_curlyhere: listen, i gotta go. 

loveyourdickbby: wow first time you dont disappear out of the blue congrats babe

its_curlyhere: please stop making me feel in certain ways just because of the things you text me you dont even mean, okay?

loveyourdickbby: i mean everything i text you

loveyourdickbby: just tell me in which country you live

\- - - 

loveyourdickbby: hey

loveyourdickbby: you there

its_curlyhere: please...can we like stop...this?

loveyourdickbby: no hey im serious i wanna get to know you

its_curlyhere: you dont even know my name.

loveyourdickbby: thought it was princess

its_curlyhere: can we pretend we never meet here on kik? Please.

loveyourdickbby: why dont you tell me your name i do wanna know it

loveyourdickbby: tell me something about you

its_curlyhere: as long as you'll keep pretending you wanna know me, im not texting you.

its_curlyhere: see you.

loveyourdickbby: but im being serious

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: uhg...princess?


	12. - September 16th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: i dont get why im always the one who start a conversation

loveyourdickbby: wasnt it you the english teacher

its_curlyhere: i dont start conversations with you cause i have no reason to do suck a crap.

its_curlyhere: such*

loveyourdickbby: kitten if you wanna suck something dont worry you dont have to use crap

its_curlyhere: oh, please. 

loveyourdick: see you want my dick

its_curlyhere: you got the wrong meaning, surprisingly.

loveyourdick: so how old are you lil one

its_curlyhere: why should i tell you? 

loveyourdickbby: im just curious

loveyourdickbby: and your my lil princess

its_curlyhere: really i dont understand why im still texting you...

its_curlyhere: whats wrong with me?

loveyourdickbby: the fact you dont wanna send me nice pics of you :(

its_curlyhere: first tell me how old are you, then we'll see.

loveyourdickbby: what i didnt tell you im 19

its_curlyhere: stop kidding.

loveyourdickbby: im not princess

loveyourdickbby: wanna see me?

its_curlyhere: ive had enough of your dick, no thanks.

loveyourdickbby: no i meant wanna see my face

its_curlyhere: dont wanna see your ugly face, no thanks.

loveyourdickbby: but princess my face is not ugly :(

its_curlyhere: sure, and im hot.

loveyourdickbby: oh you are kitten

its_curlyhere: shush.

loveyourdickbby: what did you just shush daddy

its_curlyhere: yes, i did.

loveyourdickbby: i wanted to send you a pic of my-beautiful-self but i think you dont wanna see me 

its_curlyhere: in fact, i dont wanna see your ugly face at all.

loveyourdickbby: okay now gonna send a pic so you stop being rude with daddy

loveyourdickbby: *sexy louis' full body and face photo attached*

enjoy princess x

its_curlyhere: it isnt you.

loveyourbby: it actually is

its_curlyhere: it isnt.

loveyourdick: cant send you a selfie right now because i slept two hours so

its_curlyhere: well, okay. We'll see.

loveyourdickbby: tell me if you need help with your wank kitten

its_curlyhere: oh, please. Shut up.

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: how was your orgasm(s)

its_curlyhere: shut. up.

loveyourdickbby: make me

its_curlyhere: ...

loveyourdickbby: see you luv me

its_curlyhere: yes daddy i do. As much as you love pussy.

loveyourdickbby: as much as i probably love your dick* 

its_curlyhere: probably? wow you surprised me.

loveyourdickbby: ikr now what about you surprise me

its_curlyhere: ha ha ha

its_curlyhere: nope

loveyourdickbby: also werent you mad at me the other day

loveyourdickbby: mad/scared

its_curlyhere: i still am.

loveyourdickbby: you know what id do to you rn

its_curlyhere: sadly, yes. You would spank me or touch me or fuck me.

loveyourdickbby: good boy but i was thinking about kissing you so you wont be scared anymore x

loveyourdickbby: you dont need to be baby

its_curlyhere: kiss my dick?

loveyourdickbby: since youre asking for it so nicely yes sure

its_curlyhere: i feel like i wanna slap my face

loveyourdickbby: all right ill take care of the bum then 

its_curlyhere: you wont. And i gotta go eating. Bye.

loveyourdickbby: aw i like it when you tell me you have to go 

loveyourdickbby: make sure to keep on doing it princess ;)


	13. - September 17th, 2010 -

its_curlyhere: uhm...i was...thinking about yesterday...

loveyourdickbby: my abs have the power to make you start a conversation wow ill send pics more often then

its_curlyhere: no, i just wanted to know something...

loveyourdickbby: what is it baby

its_curlyhere: i wanted to know why we didnt text for months but now you come back and send me pics

loveyourdickbby: i got drunk and apparently you were the first thing who came in mind so i texted you 

its_curlyhere: im not a thing.

loveyourdickbby: i mean youre the first kitten who popped into my fucked up mind

its_curlyhere: yeah, sure. Why did i even asked you, i dont know.

loveyourdickbby: and we didnt text because you kept ignoring me

loveyourdickbby: i have a reputation after all kitten

its_curlyhere: okay, but im sure you're not the boy in the pic you sent me. So im already pissed off because you think im stupid.

loveyourdickbby: hey hey hey no

loveyourdickbby: i know you're not stupid i mean look at how fancy your texts are

its_curlyhere: oh, im delighted.

loveyourdickbby: and i sent the pic so you can see who i am

loveyourdickbby: now the only thing thats missing is just your dick

its_curlyhere: what about the bum?

loveyourdickbby: if you wanna send your cute lil bum too its okay

its_curlyhere: of course i was kidding.

loveyourdickbby: of course.

its_curlyhere: ...

loveyourdickbby: dick pic?

its_curlyhere: in your arse. Go look for it, maybe you have a chance to find it. But i doubt it.

loveyourdickbby: you wanna check?

its_curlyhere: id rather stare at your dick for ten mins

loveyourdickbby: does my dick pic makes you cum in ten mins

its_curlyhere: oh, no. Your icon makes me cum right when i look at it. 

loveyourdickbby: could say the same thing if only i had your dick pic kitten

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: hey

its_curlyhere: no.

loveyourdickbby: aw thanks

its_curlyhere: you're not welcome.

loveyourdickbby: i have a question

loveyourdickbby: you a virgin

its_curlyhere: well

loveyourdickbby: ?

its_curlyhere: uhm...

loveyourdickbby: ? ? ?

its_curlyhere: okay, okay. Yes, i am.

loveyourdickbby: no need to feel ashamed

its_curlyhere: yeah, but...im 16...and still a virgin...uhg...

loveyourdickbby: if only you wanted to meet me you could forget about your virginity since id take it and kill it

its_curlyhere: oh, wow, that was sweet.

loveyourdickbby: see 

loveyourdickbby: okay so now where do you live 

its_curlyhere: mh...dont know.

loveyourdickbby: c'mon baby dont you wanna get rid of your virginity

its_curlyhere: yes, i do, but if the only person who wanna fuck me is you then id rather stay a virgin.

loveyourdickbby: pfff 

loveyourdickbby: you think i cant use that dick of mine correctly

its_curlyhere: i dont like you, its different.

loveyourdickbby: so why you still texting me princess

its_curlyhere: i dont know...

its_curlyhere: you always text me and i feel like texting you back...

loveyourdickbby: told you you love my dick

its_curlyhere: yeah, your dick.

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: id treat you like a princess if i had the chance 

its_curlyhere: no, listen...i know you dont mean it, so...please stop pretending, yeah?

loveyourdickbby: why dont you trust daddy

its_curlyhere: cause you're probably a fake and i dont feel like trusting a fake.

loveyourdickbby: im not a fake hey :(

its_curlyhere: yes, you are, and you also sent me that photo with a model on it as if id believe that its you.

loveyourdickbby: baby 

its_curlyhere: no.

loveyourdickbby: i swear it is mee

its_curlyhere: it. is. not.

loveyourdickbby: give me one sec

its_curlyhere: ?

loveyourdickbby: *selfie attached* 

hello there

its_curlyhere: hes a model for sure. You can see it on his face. He is a model.

loveyourdickbby: dont think you noticed i took the photo via kik camera

its_curlyhere: its fake.

loveyourdickbby: baby :( cant you see it...i couldnt have faked it 

loveyourdickbby: use kik camera and you'll see theres a difference when you take a photo with it and when you take it from your gallery

its_curlyhere: *black pic attached*

loveyourdickbby: see theres a lil logo 

its_curlyhere: but...

loveyourdickbby: maybe im a fuckboy but im also a person you know

loveyourdickbby: i just want you to believe me

its_curlyhere: and why are you being so kind all of a sudden? Why dont you stress me out with your hand on my thigh?

loveyourdickbby: my hand would be super glad to touch your lil thigh 

its_curlyhere: thats it?

loveyourdickbby: not at all baby

loveyourdickbby: id love to lick and suck and bite your skin

loveyourdickbby: id love to touch your nipples and suck on them...are they like really sensitive?

its_curlyhere: uhm...i dont know?

loveyourdickbby: uhg id make them so sensitive and sore princess

its_curlyhere: well, yeah, im sure of it.

loveyourdickbby: i know you want it tho ;)


	14. - September 18th, 2010 -

loveyourdickvby: come here princess

its_curlyhere: why.

loveyourdickbby: i want you

its_curlyhere: i dont.

loveyourdickbby: baby we both know you do

its_curlyhere: what, your fuck buddy left and now you need someone else?

loveyourdickbby: dont have a fuck buddy

its_curlyhere: oh, right. Fuck buddies, sorry.

loveyourdickbby: baby watch out

its_curlyhere: cant you just...i dont know...why do you always text me when you're horny or you want to be?

loveyourdickbby: im always horny so 

its_curlyhere: ...

its_curlyhere: why are you so immature

loveyourdickbby: im not immature i just love sex

its_curlyhere: yeah, sure.

loveyourdickbby: and btw i dont get why you judge me

its_curlythere: i dont.

loveyourdickbby: yes you do

its_curlyhere: whatever.

loveyourdickbby: i dont like it

its_curlyhere: obviously you dont, in fact it doesnt deal with sex.

loveyourdickbby: you said you dont know who i am

loveyourdickbby: then why the fuck do you judge me

its_curlyhere: i dont judge you, i know you just wanna fuck. You're the one who sent me those texts where your message its clear.

loveyourdickbby: you dont know shit about me 

loveyourdickbby: stop assuming things about my life

its_curlyhere: dont need to assume.

loveyourdickbby: fuck off

its_curlyhere: finally.


	15. - October 2nd, 2010 -

its_curlyhere: ohh wait wait wait

its_curlyhere: shiit love your so hot in that pic if i keep staring at it ill cum on it

loveyourdickbby: princess you okay

its_curlyhere: daddy im so horny...help me...please...

loveyourdickbby: i would help you if only you were my lil boy 

its_curlyhere: daddyy please i changed my mind i want you...

loveyourdickbby: c'mon man i know youre not him

its_curlyhere: okay okay i give up

loveyourdickbby: who the hell are you

its_curlyhere: nick, nice to meet your dick

its_curlyhere: nick, dick, i know

loveyourdickbby: my dicks really glad but what are you doing with my kittens mobile

its_curlyhere: oh yeah i took harrys phone cause he doesnt want me to fuck him :(

loveyourdickbby: wait who the hell is harry

its_curlyhere: thought you knew him? 

loveyourdickbby: mh...no?

its_curlyhere: this is harrys phone you have to know him

loveyourdickbby: he didnt tell me he had such an adorable name

its_curlyhere: well now your aware of his name congrats

loveyourdickbby: yeah okay but about my kitten...dont fuck him im already working on it 

loveyourdickbby: even if...a threesome would be nice

its_curlyhere: ill let you know...wait where are you from

loveyourdickbby: i found a job in london so yes i live there

its_curlyhere: you work in a nightclub

loveyourdickbby: actually yes

its_curlyhere: WHAT YOU SERIOUS 

loveyourdickbby: yeah

its_curlyhere: ...okay...i was just kidding...but okay...and did you meet harry there?

loveyourdickbby: nope still havent meet him

its_curlyhere: wait...so...

loveyourdickbby: yeah we kinda met here on kik

its_curlyhere: oh...okay...so how did you knew harry lives in london

loveyourdickbby: i didnt but thanks for the information ;)

its_curlyhere: no need to thank me, but a video of your hand on your dick would be appreciated

loveyourdickbby: babe i would but i already had sex too many times this morning so im tired 

its_curlyhere: oh...okay...uhg :(

loveyourdick: ill tell harry about the nightclub so you guys can come visit me, yeah?

its_curlyhere: deal. see you soon sexy

loveyourdickbby: see you cutie


	16. - October 3rd, 2010 -

its_curlyhere: the fuck?!

its_curlyhere: what happened? i didnt know you and nick were texting yesterday.

loveyourdickbby: missed you too

its_curlyhere: is ut true that you live in London?

its_curlyhere: it*

loveyourdickbby: yep

its_curlyhere: what about...

loveyourdickbby: my job? true as well

its_curlyhere: oh...okay.

loveyourdickbby: and another thing thats true is id really like fucking you princess

its_curlyhere: oh, thanks for the reminder, almost forgot it.

loveyourdickbby: anytime kitten 

loveyourdickbby: or should i say harry

its_curlyhere: whatever.

loveyourdickbby: i think your names really moanable

loveyourdickbby: just think about it for a moment. harry.

loveyourdickbby: it fucking suits your pretty face

its_curlyhere: whats your name?

loveyourdickbby: ohh yeah right

loveyourdickbby: its louis 

its_curlyhere: louis...? 

loveyourdickbby: yes but for you is daddy ;)

its_curlyhere: yeah, right. For me. Right.

loveyourdickbby: princess you didnt tell me how old are you :(

its_curlyhere: im 16, okay? but i'll be 17 soon...why?

its_curlyhere: and didnt you tell me to fuck off?

loveyourdickbby: just curious so im sure i can fuck your pretty face or your pretty bum

its_curlyhere: well guess you have to find someone else cause im not up to it. But it shouldnt be a problem, i can feel it.

loveyourdickbby: wouldnt you prefer feeling my dick inside you?

loveyourdickbby: think about the pleasure i could give you princess

loveyourdickbby: youd be a mess in less than 5 mins

its_curlyhere: find. someone. else. Bye.

loveyourdickbby: bye? kitten its just sex 

loveyourdickbby: you afraid of it?

\- - - 

loveyourdickbby: baby...

its_curlyhere: you told me to fuck off so why dont you leave me alone?

loveyourdickbby: i was a bit nervous the other day sorry for that

its_curlyhere: no, you werent.

loveyourdickbby: i was baby now lets forget about it yeah?

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: here we go again


	17. - October 4th, 2010 -

loveyourdickbby: no but really i didnt mean to scare you

loveyourdickbby: dont even know why i keep texting you

loveyourdickbby: its just

loveyourdickbby: dunno

loveyourdickbby: theres something about you that makes me feel like texting you over and over again its okay

loveyourdickbby: even if sometimes you dont text me back

loveyourdickbby: i think i shouldnt have had all those beers

loveyourdickbby: im feeling really weird you know

loveyourdickbby: its like...i know the things im texting you and i really should stop for my own reputation but on the other and its like i cant stop texting you 

loveyourdickbby: i think its because of your pretty face and your pretty mouth

loveyourdickbby: look at you..

loveyourdickbby: your so beautiful harry

loveyourdickbby: and i dont understand why you ignore me really

loveyourdickbby: i mean okay maybe i shouldnt have texted you those things about sex and stuff since your 16 and maybe unexperienced...but...i didnt want to scare the shit outta you

loveyourdickbby: the fuck is wrong with me

loveyourdickbby: i think i wanma fuck you so bad that im getting addicted on it

loveyourdickbby: why dont you come to the nightclub i work in? i just wanna see your pretty face

loveyourdickbby: and your lil bum

loveyourdickbby: your lips...

loveyourdickbby: baby where are you


	18. - October 10th, 2010 -

its_curlyhere: i told you i dont wanna have sex with you. At least i think the message was clear. I dont wanna have any sexual thing with you. I dont wanna have anything involved with you. For what i know, you could be a 50 year old man and this is the part i fear the most. Please, Louis, leave me alone. Okay? Please. You scared me, yes. I tried to pretend everything was fine but im not used to people i dont know that tell me stuff like that. Sorry if i made you think otherwise. I didnt mean to.

loveyourdickbby: okay bye bye then

loveyourdickbby: and btw i didnt mean anything i texted you last time i was not even wasted

loveyourdickbby: i just wanted someone to fuck with but since youre too smart to be fooled then i guess i better find someone else


	19. January 11th, 2011

its_curlyhere: uhm...louis?

\- - -

itscurlyhere: you probably are fucking someone right now as i tell you ive been thinking about you for so long, but i dont care. I always think about you.

itscurlyhere: im not feeling really... well, i just wanted you to know.

its_curlyhere: it doesnt make sense...

\- - - 

its_curlyhere: i dont even know why i think about you.

its_curlyhere: i dont even know if you're real, still i keep thinking about you.

its_curlyhere: i didnt even know i was gay or something like that.

its_curlyhere: i keep staring at that photo of yours...the one where i can also see your face.

its_curlyhere: im feeling like crap right now.

\- - - 

its_curlyhere: louis, please...say something.

its_curlyhere: i know i ignored you sometimes...but...please i need to figure out what...i feel?

\- - - 

its_curlyhere: how can i be so attached after all this time?

\- - -

its_curlyhere: theres something about you i like way too much 

its_curlyhere: that photo is really killing me...

\- - - 

its_curlyhere: is it normal i kinda feel something for someone ive never met?


	20. January 13th, 2011

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {{HEY GUYS thank you so much for kudos and comments you left, they give me the motivation to keep writing.  
> Alright, Larry time now. }}

loveyourdickbby: oh so now you feel like crap

loveyourdickbby: why that

loveyourdickbby: i mean hey its weird 

its_curlyhere: sorry.

loveyourdickbby: ?

its_curlyhere: please louis...i swear...im sorry...please.

loveyourdickbby: please what harry

its_curlyhere: i felt terrible for not texting you back. I was scared. Please, believe me. 

loveyourdickbby: baby youre the one who should have trusted me 

loveyourdickbby: i sent you my face and body and still you were sceptic about my identity

its_curlyhere: i know...please...i miss you...

loveyourdickbby: ?

its_curlyhere: miss your texts and you and i dunno, you just make me feel better with your texts cause i know theres someone whos looking for me, even if you dont, but you kinda do...

loveyourdickbby: oh so now you miss me

loveyourdickbby: now 

its_curlyhere: yes, i do. 

loveyourdickbby: remember that day when i sent you those texts about how much i wanted you or how beautiful you are 

loveyourdickbby: when i wanted to see you so bad

loveyourdickbby: you just read those texts and that was it

its_curlyhere: sorry...

loveyourdickbby: the following days you sent me a text 

loveyourdickbby: you were scared and you said you didnt want me basically

loveyourdickbby: i told you i didnt care and that i just wanted to fuck you

loveyourdickbby: do you remember

its_curlyhere: yes, i remember every single text youve ever sent me.

loveyourdickbby: well 

loveyourdickbby: i wasnt serious

its_curlyhere: what?

loveyourdickbby: i wasnt serious when i texted you i just wanted someone to fuck

loveyourdickbby: i wasnt feeling really okay so i needed to lie

loveyourdickbby: or else id have been the pitiful one

its_curlyhere: i thought you just wanted to fuck me...

its_curlyhere: this is why i acted like that, and i always tried to push you away...

loveyourdickbby: i dont wanna fuck you

loveyourdickbby: i mean i dont wanna fuck you and leave or stuff like that 

loveyourdickbby: i swear harry i wanna know everything about you

its_curlyhere: me too and im so sorry louis...i texted you cause i need you and your stupid texts...

loveyourdickbby: miss you 

its_curlyhere: what? really?

loveyourdickbby: of course baby

loveyourdickbby: always thought about you too

loveyourdickbby: im the one who started it all and theres a reason

its_curlyhere: so where did you find my nick?

loveyourdickbby: me and a friend of mine where talking about stuff and he gave me your nick since he thought it could have been useful

its_curlyhere: so i must know him

loveyourdickbby: yes baby you do

its_curlyhere: tell me.

loveyourdickbby: its a secret

its_curlyhere: uhg but i wanna know

loveyourdickbby: mh maybe i could tell you if you met me

its_curlyhere: uhm...what? You wanna meet me?

loveyourdickbby: ive always wanted to meet you

its_curlyhere: but...werent you...like...mad at me?

loveyourdickbby: i think we started everything in the wrong way

loveyourdickbby: i should have been myself since the first text 

its_curlyhere: im confused...

loveyourdickbby: harry

loveyourselfbby: nick aka your best friend gave me your nick aka its_curlyhere

loveyourdickbby: the day me and nick texted via your phone was just because in that way me and you could have had the chance to text each other again since we kinda stopped texting

loveyourdickbby: it wasnt real

loveyourdickbby: if you dont believe me you can ask nick

its_curlyhere: you serious?

loveyourdickbby: of course but id prefer telling you everything you wanna know in a bar while you drink whatever you want and i pay for whatever you want 

its_curlyhere: but...lou...are you serious? like...are you...serious?

loveyourdickbby: absolutely yes harry

loveyourdickbby: you can trust me it all started because of nick

its_curlyhere: oh, and that really makes me feel better, really.

loveyourdickbby: wanna hang out and see how beautiful you are? like, i wanna see you with my eyes and not through a screen

its_curlyhere: i fear this is a prank...

loveyourdickbby: harry im 20 i dont really like doing that stuff anymore

loveyourdickbby: and you can ask nick and find out im a nice person :))

its_curlyhere: need to see if you're the one in the photo you sent me.

loveyourdickbby: that photo of mine really screwed you didnt it

its_curlyhere: i think so

loveyourdickbby: so lets meet at the bar in front of your school

loveyourdickbby: then we can have a walk and see how beautiful you are

loveyourdickbby: i swear i wont touch you at least you want me to

its_curlyhere: can i come with nick? And then he can leave...

loveyourdickbby: i should be the only one who you come with

its_curlyhere: louiis

loveyourdickbby: mh did i say something

its_curlyhere: you texted it.

loveyourdickbby: oh really

its_curlyhere: really.

loveyourdickbby: dunno what youre talking about

loveyourdickbby: and yes you can come with nick but cum with me

its_curlyhere: alright i think i can handle it

loveyourdickbby: what my dick?

its_curlyhere: stoopp now.

loveyourdickbby: okay okay ;)

\- - -

loveyourdickbby: hey harry 

its_curlyhere: hey louis

loveyourdickbby: seemed like you were feeling a bit more comfortable with me

loveyourdickbby: so i just wanted to know if you trust me cause i do want you to trust me 

its_curlyhere: when me and you were texting i also talked a bit with nick, and he told me something about you. Said he couldnt tell me more cause thats your task.

its_curlyhere: but nick is nick and he seemed to be serious...so...maybe i can trust you too? I dunno, we'll see.

its_curlyhere: and he also told me theres no reason why i shouldnt hang out with you, since he knows you. He reassured me, thats it.

loveyourdickbby: uhg should have told you everything from the very beginning

its_curlyhere: mh...no...it was...funny...kind of...

loveyourdickbby: i am funny i know

its_curlyhere: shuush

loveyourdickbby: what did you just shush daddy

its_curlyhere: mhmh...

loveyourdickbby: well princess dont do it again

its_curlyhere: sorry daddy. x

loveyourdickbby: good boy

\- - - 

its_curlyhere: uhm...so? When are we...you know...

loveyourdickbby: uh someones being impatient

its_curlyhere: no its just...i have plans, you know? Im a busy boy

loveyourdickbby: no baby youre a good boy

loveyourdickbby: thats it

its_curlyhere: so...is it okay if we meet at the bar right after school? At 6?

loveyourdickbby: at 6? you have school till 6 pm?

its_curlyhere: its a long story

loveyourdickbby: alright

loveyourdickbby: think you can get ready to see me tomorrow? ;)

its_curlyhere: well, i dunno about you, but im always ready.

loveyourdickbby: see you tomorrow then 

loveyourdickbby: (princess)

its_curlyhere: see you tomorrow.


	21. January 14th, 2011

Harry's trembling.  
His state of anxiety's so high he feels like he's going to throw up.  
He really is thankful for Nick being with him, though, or else he doesn't know how he'd handle this situation.  
"You serious? I can trust him?" asks Harry, looking at Nick straight in the eyes.  
"Mate, I've been telling you you can trust Louis for hours. Please, just fucking stop. You guys are just hanging out, in front of everyone  
Shut up." Nick says, and he hopes for his best friend that Louis won't mess anything up (as he usually does).  
"But...what if...if..." Harry desperately tries to say something, but his words don't happen to make sense.  
Hell, he can't even make a proper sentence.  
"Harry, don't worry. Louis...is cool. You'll love him." Nick tries to reassure Harry with everything he's got, and maybe after hours of the 'let's convince Harry that Louis' a nice person' thing he's finally succeeding on it.  
"What...what...uhm...and what if he does something?"  
Nick laughes at Harry.  
"Then don't act like someone who's seen a ghost and--"  
"How do I look? Am I beautiful enough?" Harry interrupts Nick.  
"To say you're beautiful would be an understatement" says a voice Harry's never heard before.  
Nick smirks at the boy behind Harry.  
The curly head froozes on his place.  
He turns around and looks at the same boy Nick's looking at, and stays silent when he realizes that this is Louis.  
Shit.  
It's Louis.  
Shit.  
Holy shit.  
"Nice to meet you, kitten." Louis smiles at Harry seeing his surprised/embarassed face, while taking one of his hands in his own and leaving a little kiss on it, gentleman style.  
Harry can't help it but blush.  
"Uhm...L-louis?" is the only thing Harry seems to be able to say out loud.  
His mind's going crazy.  
His mind, his body, himself basically.  
What's the matter with this stranger?  
Why is Harry reacting to Louis like that?  
What's wrong with him?  
"Hi, bro. And bye. Gonna head home, you guys have fun. Use protection, that's the only thing I ask for." says Nick, exiting the bar.  
"Bye, bro. And thanks" "W-what?" Harry's completely lost.  
He follows Nick with his gaze and sees that he's outside, giving him a thumbs up.  
Harry slowly looks at Louis, sliding his hand away from the blue-eyed boy's, and swallows.  
Louis's eyes are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.  
Harry wasn't prepared to this.  
He didn't even know Louis' eyes were blue.  
He didn't even know Louis was actually real.  
"Hope you can talk or else I gotta find a way, don't you think?" Louis' still smiling at Harry, who seems that has forgotten how to breathe.  
"Uhm...hi...I'm Harry,"  
Louis barely hears his voice, and finds Harry cute for the way his gaze falls off the ground.  
"Oh, really? Glad you told me." Louis chuckle, and Harry feels less pressure on his whole body and mind.  
"You're welcome."  
Harry looks at Louis shyly.  
"You wanna eat something? Or drink? Or you feel more like having a walk?" Louis asks.  
"Uhm...maybe..."  
"So beautiful..." says Louis.  
Harry's confused.  
"What?"  
"You're so beautiful. I knew it." says Louis, and Harry doesn't know what to say.  
"Well, maybe you knew it 'cause you'd already seen my face?"  
"Oh, someone's learning how to talk properly?" teases Louis.  
"Yeah, exactly." he takes a deep breath, "So...yeah, we can go somewhere else and have a walk, if it's okay"  
"That's a good boy"  
Harry blushes slighty.  
Everytime Louis sent those texts with pet names or stuff like that, Harry felt a weird feeling creeping in his stomach.  
Harry felt like that everytime Louis sent something, to be honest.  
Louis smirks at him when they finally go for a walk.  
Harry's lost in his mind.  
And body.  
And in Louis.

"So you like me?"  
Harry said he likes Louis' eyes (he didn't mean to say it out loud), and now Louis' taking the mick out of him.  
Harry pretends he didn't hear anything and looks around.  
Louis looks at him for a moment, and then tickles him on his hips staying behind him.  
Harry jumps and lets a little scream spill out of his mouth.  
Louis smirks and stops tickling him after a minute of a begging Harry that desperately tried to make Louis stop.  
"So you're loud?"  
Harry profusely blushes at Louis' question, and hopes he isn't looking at him.  
"Shut up!" Harry exclaims, turning around to slap Louis' head.  
"Hey, now. Thought I was the one supposed to slap?"  
Louis keeps smirking.  
"Louis!!"  
Harry slaps him again, harder this time.  
"Kitten's being aggressive?"  
Harry just covers his face as much as he can using his hands.  
Louis chuckles and uncovers Harry's face.  
"Hey," Louis whispers, looking into Harry's eyes.  
"Mh..."  
"Don't cover your face, kitten."  
But Harry blushes again.  
He's desperate.  
"You like it when I call you that?"  
Louis gets extremely closer to Harry.  
That curly boy really is gorgeous.  
Harry shakes his head, making Louis smile.  
"Yes, you like it. Kitten."  
Harry smiles a little but tries to hide it.  
"Uhm...Louis..."  
"Yeah?"  
"I think it's getting...late...I should go home..." says Harry, almost in a whisper.  
"Yeah?" says Louis, lowering his voice.  
He's still looking at Harry.  
"Yeah..."  
He lowers his voice, too.  
"Yeah." Louis chuckles.  
"So...you didn't fuck me." Harry's still looking in Louis' eyes.  
"You're saying it as you wish I did. Oh, maybe you wanted to?" Louis' smirk's always on his lips.  
"U-uhm...no...not at all...it's just...wow, Louis, you didn't fuck me...unbelievable..."  
Harry tried to sound convincing but didn't really succeed.  
Louis brushes his fingertips on Harry's cheeks and stares at him, feeling the warm of the green-eyed boy's cheeks increase.  
Louis' still holding Harry's hands, so he slightly touches Harry's cheeks since his fingers are super small.  
"Need a ride?" asks Louis, making Harry shake his head.  
"I think...I'm gonna call my sister...yeah..."  
Louis smiles.  
"Yeah."

 

loveyourdickbby: hey baby  
its_curlyhere: hi, there.  
loveyourdickbby: just a lil reminder youre beautiful  
its_curlyhere: i like your eyes.  
loveyourdickbby: i like the fact you like my eyes. and me.  
loveyourdickbby: ;)  
its_curlyhere: oh, wait. I dont like you, loulou.  
loveyourdickbby: yeah as much as you dont like dicks  
its_curlyhere: will you please go fuck yourself?  
loveyourdickbby: yes of course  
loveyourdickbby: wanna join daddy?  
its_curlyhere: gotta goo  
loveyourdickbby: alright ill send a video  
its_curlyhere: dont you dare.  
loveyourdickbby: thought you had to go  
its_curlyhere: louiis  
loveyourdickbby: baby  
its_curlyhere: uhg, im tired.  
loveyourdickbby: ahh dont tell me  
its_curlyhere: gonna sleep.  
loveyourdickbby: gonna go to work  
its_curlyhere: alright but dont fuck too much or else youll be tired.  
loveyourdickbby: is kitten jealous  
its_curlyhere: gotta goo  
loveyourdickbby: oh yeah sure baby  
its_curlyhere: have fun, loulou.  
loveyourdickbby: night baby


	22. January 17th, 2011

"Yeah, okay. Now let me touch your hair," says Louis, making Harry smile.  
"I don't think you can do it," he's feeling less nervous than before and he's a little bit more confident.  
Louis makes Harry feel nervous, sure, but he also makes the curly-haired boy feel kind of comfortable.  
Never had he ever felt like this (of course).  
"You think I can't do it? That's what you think?" Louis moves closer to Harry, who steps back.  
"Yes, that's what I think. And, it is an actual fact," states Harry, matter-of-factly.  
"Oh, is it?" Louis keeps moving closer to Harry, who tries to step back but can't 'cause there's no more room, his back pressed on a trunk.  
It's the second time they 'hang out'. They went to a little park Harry suggested and Louis seems to like it.  
"No...you can't."  
Harry looks down, Louis' body is too close to him and his heart's beating too fast.  
"That's a shame, curly. Now I'm sad"  
Awkward silence.  
Harry looks up at Louis right when he takes the courage.  
"Don't be sad..." he smiles a little when he sees the blue-eyed boy smile.  
Louis tries not to show it and covers it, but Harry already saw it.  
"But I am," Louis fakes a pout and Harry can't help it but look at his lips.  
It's so strange for him to look at a boy like that and think about weird things that deals with sex.  
How would it feel like to be fucked by Louis? Would it feel good?  
Would it be safe?  
And why is Harry thinking about Louis fucking him?  
Why is he even getting hard?  
Louis' too fucking close to his body.  
Harry can't stop thinking about being naked with Louis while they fuck or kiss or suck each others' dicks.  
He think it's weird.  
What would it feel like to have sex with Louis?  
No, but really.  
Would it be weird?  
Of course it would be.  
"Baby?"  
Harry comes back to reality right when he hears Louis' voice.  
'Baby'.  
Louis called him baby.  
His stomach and heart and mind hurt everytime Louis calls him 'baby' (or 'kitten').  
He looks into Louis' eyes.  
"You here?"  
Harry nods.  
Louis does nothing but look at Harry and lets his gaze travel on the curly-haired boy's body.  
He smirks when he sees a little bulge near the button flap of Harry's jeans.  
Harry blushes and when Louis looks again into Harry's eyes, the curly-headed looks everywhere but at him.  
Louis keeps smirking and steps back.  
"Let's go," he says, and Harry breath out.  
"Where?"  
"Dunno. Let's go for a walk, yeah?"  
Louis, a stranger, has just seen Harry getting horny, and there's no need to have a smart mind to understand who got him.  
And Harry really is grateful that Louis didn't get even closer, or tried to do something else.

         
The two boys are now layed on the field, Louis sends amused looks at Harry once in a while.  
Harry pretends not to notice them, and looks up at the sky.  
It's getting darker.  
"I want to touch. Your curly hair. Now."  
For a moment, Harry's mind went further at the 'i want to touch', and was thinking about too many ways Louis could have done it.  
The thing is, Harry doesn't know what's wrong with him.  
He's a bit scared of his thoughts and the possibility that he could like Louis, he's been having doubts for months.  
All because of Louis.  
Harry desperately wants to find out if he really likes Louis or not, and if he enjoys kissing him and doing stuff.  
But he's fucking scared.  
"You know what?" Harry looks at Louis.  
"What?"  
"I think I can let you touch my hair. For this time." says Harry, making Louis smile.  
"Thank you, my dear." he sits down near Harry's head, "put your cute little head on my legs."  
Harry steps back and tries to relax on Louis' thighs.  
Louis keeps smiling and starts stroking Harry's curls.  
Harry closes his eyes and almost moans at how relaxing Louis' hands are.  
"Kitten," states Louis, looking at Harry, who opens his eyes and looks at the boy.  
"Am I comfortable?" asks Louis, making Harry nod.  
"So much," he whispers, moving his head closer to Louis.  
Oh, look, Louis' dick's getting ready.  
Louis takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself down.  
The only thing he's thinking about Harry that deals with his hair is how amazing would it be to fuck him from behind while pulling him by his hair.  
Shit, Louis shouldn't have thought about that.  
Harry realizes there's something near his head, too near his head, but he's trying to stay cool.  
It's okay, it's not like Louis' dick's on the back of his head.  
And Harry's not getting hard.  
Definitely not.  
Louis looks at Harry's tummy and places a hand on it, starting caressing it.  
Harry gets even more nervous but takes a deep breath to calm himself down.  
He looks at Louis' eyes and then gets even closer to his body, Louis stiffens.  
"Does kitten want to play?" Louis asks with a smirk.  
Harry doesn't even think about it when he rubs his nose on Louis' lower abdomen.  
Louis smirks even more.  
"You like my abs?" he asks.  
Harry looks up at him.  
"Uhm...it's not like I can see them...", he says slowly.  
Harry's trying not to care.  
He wants to have fun and be free.  
He doesn't want to keep thinking about what he should say and what he shouldn't.  
He wants to make Louis happy.  
He'd give him anything Louis needs.  
He wants Louis to be proud of him.  
"Oh, yeah, you saw them. My abs made you send a text for the first time without me starting texting."  
Wow, Harry almost forgot about kik.  
Louis seems to be so different now that he's in front of him.  
He seems to be so mature, sensible.  
Harry doesn't say a word.  
"I know you wanna lick them." Louis sends Harry a dirty look.  
Harry blushes.  
Harry exactly knows how beautiful Louis' body is.  
"Not at all..." he replies, moving his head a bit on Louis' lap.  
Louis closes his eyes for a moment and think about every single place he could fuck Harry.  
Shit.  
Hopefully, he won't have to wait too long, Harry's so easy.  
So, Louis lays down on his back and lifts up his t-shirt.  
Harry sits up and looks at Louis confused.  
It's not like his mouth dried just looking directly at Louis'abs.  
"W-what you doing?" he manages to say.  
"Waiting for you to lick them"  
Harry's sweating as much as a pig would.  
Do pigs sweat? I mean, yeah, they have to.  
Everyone sweats.  
"I'm not licking you." Harry states.  
"You aren't?" Louis goes on his elbows and looks at Harry.  
Harry can't help it but stare at Louis' abs for a bit longer.  
He licks his lips without even realizing it.  
"Want me to show you how to do it?"  
Louis' words arouse Harry's curiosity.  
"How?" asks Harry.  
He doesn't care.  
He doesn't care of his heartbeat.  
Doesn't care of his feelings.  
He just wants to find out how it feels like to be intimate with a boy.  
"Lay down, kitten."  
Harry almost moans for the way Louis called him.  
He slowly lays down and looks at Louis, who's now laying on top of Harry, his face near his belly bottom.  
Harry almost gasps.  
"Can I?" Louis looks at Harry.  
Harry doesn't know what Louis is referring to, but he nods.  
So, Louis lifts up Harry's jumper and the t-shirt he has under it, and starts kissing his belly.  
Harry twitches a bit and Louis strokes one of his clothed hips with his hand.  
"Shh...it's okay..." says Louis, and Harry doesn't know what to do.  
He doesn't want to worry, but should he let Louis doing what he's doing?  
But, again, why not?  
He's just kissing his belly, after all.  
And while Harry's thinking about Louis kissing him, Louis' mind's filling up of dirty thoughts.  
Harry closes his eyes and hopes not to get a heart attack, because Louis' mounth's getting closer to Harry's dick.  
"Louis...?"  
"Mh?"  
Louis keeps kissing Harry, and it's so relaxing the curly-headed boy can't help it but keep his eyes closed.  
"We're...in a park...and...uhm..."  
Louis looks up at Harry.  
"Wanna come over?"  
And don't ask him why, but Harry nods.


	23. January 17th, 2011

All the feelings Harry's experiencing in this moment are slowly destroying him.  
Yes, because he's in Louis' kitchen, and doesn't know why he came to his house.  
He is in a stranger's house.  
He's an idiot.  
"You hungry?" Louis asks, looking at him.  
Harry shakes his head to let Louis know he isn't hungry.  
He's already feeling too many things in his stomach, food won't help him feeling better.  
"So, babe. Tell me something you like. For example, what's your favourite food?"   
After all, Louis' not a complete stranger, Harry thinks.  
They texted for a while.  
Louis and Nick are friends.  
Nick told him he doesn't have to worry.  
So maybe he can relax, can't he?  
"Uhm...I like...a lot of things...like...pizza? And...uhm...tomatoes...and...mh...yeah..."  
Harry's irresistible, Louis thinks.  
He's sitting on the edge of the kitchen table trying not to make obvious he's nervous and Louis just wants to fuck him till he'll calm down.  
So he has this strategy that always works.  
Louis chuckles slightly.  
"Anything else?" he asks, getting closer to Harry.  
"Uhm...yeah...of course...but...I don't really remember the other things now..."  
Harry's feeling like he's seriously going to throw up.  
He will never come here again, this situation's too awkward and he doesn't know what's going to happen.  
"It's okay, don't worry. And what do you like doing? For example, you have any hobbys?"  
All right, Harry's nervous, but he's also feeling happy 'cause Louis wants to know things about him and he's asking questions about his life.  
Harry really likes it.  
It makes him feel wanted, nobody's never done it so far.  
Maybe he can trust Louis.  
Nick said so, too.  
"I like cooking. And singing. And...being with cats." says Harry, looking down on his feet 'cause he's feeling a little bit ashamed.  
He's a sixteen-year-old boy and he likes cats. And he's still a virgin.  
Harry isn't surprised nobody wants him.  
"Aw, baby, that's sweet. You have any cats?"   
Harry looks at Louis.  
Was Louis serious?   
Is Louis real?  
Harry nods, "Two ones."  
Louis smiles, and Harry thinks he wants to see that smile for the rest of his life.  
"Me too! But they're staying at my mom's since my little sisters love animals. I decided to bring my cats there so that my sisters can be all smiley and happy" says Louis, getting a little closer to Harry.  
"What? You serious?" Harry asks, surprised.  
Louis nods, "Yeah, why?"  
Harry smiles a little bit, "You're sweet."  
Louis smiles back, "Baby, you are."  
Harry smiles even more.  
"Do you have...like...brothers, too?"  
"Nope, my little sisters are enough, believe me." Louis says, chuckling.  
Harry finds Louis cute, but he feels like he can't focus too much on what he's saying or else, again, he'll end up throwing up.  
"Harry...are you okay?"  
Harry nods.  
Louis looks worriedly at him.  
At least that's what Harry thinks.  
"It's just...I'm feeling a little...tired..."  
Harry closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them back, Louis is looking at him.  
"First of all..." Louis takes a water bottle and a glass, pouring the water in it, "Drink a bit of it, babe."  
Harry slightly smiles 'cause Louis is so nice, and takes the glass and drinks some water.  
He puts the glass on the table.  
"Feeling better?"  
Harry nods, 'cause, really, he means it.  
Was it just a lack of water?  
Louis smiles and Harry's heart flutters.  
"Wanna go upstairs? I mean, if you want to you can also have a nap, you know."  
Harry's a bit hesitant, but nods anyways.  
Louis takes Harry's hand in his own and goes upstairs, in his bedroom, with Harry.  
"That's your nap arrangement. Tell me if you need something, I'll be downstairs."  
Harry looks at Louis confused.  
"Wait...why downstairs?"  
"I want you to take a nap. You seem pretty tired, babe."  
Again, 'babe'.  
"Mh...Lou...? I mean...you can stay...this is your room..."  
Harry doesn't know what the fuck he's saying.  
He just hopes Louis isn't a killer/raper.  
"No, Harry, really. I don't want to take advantage of you, as much as I don't want you to think I'll do something similar. When you'll feel better we can do whatever you want, yeah?"   
Louis kisses Harry's forehead, and Harry's never felt so beloved in his life.  
"Uhm...Lou...but...maybe I should go home..."  
Louis rubs Harry's cheek with his thumb.  
"If you don't feel comfortable here, of course you can. But I'd be glad if you stayed here so that later we can even...I don't know, have dinner together?"  
Harry is so freaking happy right now he just wants to scream.  
"Okay...thanks Lou..."  
"No problem, baby." Louis leaves the room and smirks right when he completely exited it, 'cause he saw Harry's smiles and that means just one thing.  
He's going to get laid soon.

"Lou...?" Harry steps in the living room, Louis looks at him right when he hears his voice.  
He thinks Harry's voice is so sweet and sexy, it's just the perfect combination.  
He can't wait to hear Harry screaming underneath him.  
"Babe? Everything okay?" Louis stands up and walks in Harry's direction.  
"Yeah, but I can't sleep...I'm feeling better, though. I think I was having a blood sugar drop or something like that..."  
Louis fakes a sad face.  
"Why that?"  
Harry yawns a bit, using his hand to cover his mouth.  
"I don't know...sometimes...uhm...I have...some weird thing like that...uhm..." Harry desperately tries to sound natural, but deep inside he knows he was feeling dizzy just because of Louis.  
And never has a person had this power on him, so that's making him feel nervous and worried.  
"Hope you really are feeling better. Want me to bring you home?"  
Harry slightly shakes his head.  
"I...wanna...uhm...can I stay here?" Harry asks sheepishly.  
"Well, if you insist on it..." says Louis with a smirk.  
Harry smiles and leaves a little kiss on Louis' cheek.  
"Oh? What was that?" asks Louis.  
Harry blushes.  
"Uhm..."  
"I want a real kiss, c'mon." Louis taps his finger on the cheek Harry's just kissed.  
"Another one? So you liked it, mh?" Harry tries to joke a bit to decrease the anxiety, but he doesn't think he's doing a nice job.  
"Yes, please. A real one. Right here. C'mon."  
Harry leaves another kiss on Louis' cheek and keeps smiling.  
Louis smiles too.  
The only difference is that Harry's truly happy, and Louis is just pretending.  
"Thank you very much, Harry."  
"You're welcome. And...mh...I wanted to ask you something..."  
He plays with the hem of his jumper.  
"What's that?"  
"Uhm...I wanted to know...what were you and Nick talking about when he gave you my nickname? You said he thought it could have been useful..."  
Harry tries not to lower his gaze.  
Louis quickly finds an excuse.  
He lower his face, looking at the ground.  
"Uhm...Lou...?"  
"Well...uhm...you know, Harry...I'm always so alone...and...I was...to be honest, I was telling Nick nobody wants me...so..."  
Harry furrow his eyebrows.  
"It can't be possible! You're beautiful. U-uhm...I mean..."  
Louis looks up at Harry and fakes a sad smile.  
"Thanks, but...you know...mh... yeah, he gave me your nick and told me you are sweet, and nice..."   
"But...Lou...you don't have to think about that stuff. I...I don't want you to think nobody wants you. I...mh...want you?"   
Louis rubs his thumb on Harry's neck.  
"Thank you, Harry. See? You're sweet."  
Harry smiles, "So are you okay now?"   
"Yeah, 'cause now I know you want me." Louis states, trying to seem serious.  
"What? Me? What?"  
Louis chuckles.  
"Yeah, you. And by the way, I was thinking about something."  
Harry stares at him.  
Louis takes Harry's hand in his own and heads to the couch, sitting on it.  
Harry mimics him.  
"I want you to know that you deserve something special. So, I don't want to take you out, as if in any first date. I want you and me to spend our time here, in my house, so that it'll be just you and me. Nobody else."  
Harry smiles and looks down.  
Wait, first date?  
What?  
Harry could cry rainbows right now.  
"I just want to be with you. So, for this time, I think it'd be better if we stayed here. Also, you're not feeling really good."  
Harry nods, "That's sweet..."  
"You are, babe."  
Louis leaves a kiss on Harry's curls, making him look right into his blue eyes.  
"But...you don't know me..." says Harry almost in a whisper.  
Louis caresses Harry's curls with his hand.  
"We have to start somewhere, don't we?" says Louis with a smile, making Harry smile as well.  
So Harry nods, feeling happy and appreciated.  
Louis really is a nice person.  
"Even if...I'm not sure I should be here...I mean...I don't want to bother you." says Harry, feeling guilty 'cause maybe Louis had different plans.  
"Harry, I want to spend my time with you. I want to get to know you, 'cause I'm sure you're an amazing person. I mean, look at you. Look at your eyes. They're so sparkly and green...shit, Harry. Look at you. You're just so beautiful it hurts."  
Harry blushes and looks down.  
"Don't you agree?" Louis keeps speaking.  
"Thank you...I like your eyes." says Harry, and Louis almost smiles.   
"You're so cute, baby." Louis makes Harry look at him by putting two fingers under his chin, making Harry raise his face.  
Harry looks at Louis, red cheeks still there.  
"I've been trying to be here with you like that for months. Nick used to tell me something about you everyday, and the more he told me, the more I got excited. And now that you're here...I'm just glad you're here, Harry." says Louis, faking a serious tone while looking at Harry.  
Harry's feeling so happy he could cry.  
Never has he ever thought someone like Louis could care about someone like him.  
"Lou..." Harry gets closer to Louis.  
"I'm glad, but...why did you gave up on me if you wanted me so bad? And why did you acted like a fuckboy?" asks Harry, curiousity creeping in his mind.   
Louis fakes a sad expression.  
"Harry...I don't know. I'm an idiot. I thought you liked it...and...I gave up 'cause I thought you'd never want me..."  
Harry feels a bit sad just because of Louis' tone.  
He seems to be so sad.  
Harry doesn't want to see Louis like that.  
"Okay, don't think about it. I want you, I told you." states Harry, trying to make Louis feel better.  
Louis fakes a smile, "So you were serious?"  
Harry nods.  
"You're sweet. And you care about me. At least I think you do. And Nick told me I can trust you. I trust Nick, I trust you."  
Louis does his best to cover his smirk up, and he succeeds on it.  
"Yes, I care about you. I've been trying to meet you for weeks. I don't want you to think I'm a stranger. I spent my time asking Nick things about you. I'm not a stalker, I promise."  
Louis chuckles, Harry can't help it but mimic him.  
"Yeah, Nick told me something about that. This is why I trust you. I mean, you're here...after all this time...and...yeah..." Harry doesn't know what to say anymore.  
Louis fakes a really cute smile.  
"I'm glad you know I care. And by the way, you're welcomed to come here at my place whenever you want. It's cosy here, isn't it?"   
Harry nods, smiling, and for a moment Louis thinks that he should stop playing dirty with this little boy.  
But he's been fucking too many sluts lately and he just wants someone like Harry, virgin, so he has to be tight, and innocent.  
He loves virgins.  
The majority of them is completely unaware of what they're doing and they're so easy to fool in bed.  
Louis knows how to make Harry crave for sex, and he can't wait for it to happen.

 

They had dinner on the couch while watching some TV, and now Louis is cuddling Harry.  
Actually, Louis had a good time with Harry, he has to admit it.  
They commented everything they could while watching TV and laughed for their stupid jokes.  
Harry's truly happy.  
He thinks Louis is precious and a special human being who he'll never get tired of.   
And cuddling with Louis is amazing.  
"What did you tell to your mother? I don't want you to get into trouble because of me." Louis says, caressing Harry's tummy.  
He can't wait to bite it.  
"Told her I'm at Nick's..." says Harry.  
"Good boy." Louis kiss Harry's cheek, making him blush a little.  
He's so innocent Louis can't stop thinking about all the dirty things he could do to him.  
Harry looks at Louis for a bit, and Louis looks back at him.  
The curly-haired boy arranges a comfortable position on Louis' body, laying on top of him.  
Louis almost grinds his cock on Harry, but he manages to stay still.  
Harry feels Louis' dick and tries to act cool about it, but the thought of Louis getting hard in the same room as Harry makes him a bit hard, too.  
Is Louis hard because of Harry?   
"What you doing?" Louis touches Harry's back and gently rubs his hands on it.  
Harry almost closes his eyes.  
"Lou, your hands...I swear..." Harry didn't mean to say it out loud.  
Louis smirks and kisses Harry's nose.  
"Can I?" asks Louis, lifting a bit Harry's t-shirt.  
Harry nods and puts his cheek on Louis' torso.   
He's just cuddling me, Harry thinks, so he can relax.  
After a while, Louis removes his hands off Harry and kisses his curls.  
"Want me to bring you back home? You seem pretty tired." says Louis, gently caressing Harry's hair.  
Harry raises his head and looks at Louis.  
"Uhm...you want me to go?"  
Louis smiles, "No, actually I want you to stay here forever."  
"You're comfortable." states Harry, rubbing his nose on Louis' cheek.  
That surprised Louis.   
Nobody's ever done anything like that to him before.  
And why is he feeling so weird?  
It was just a nose, we're not even talking about dicks.  
Louis decides not to think about Harry's sweetness anymore for his sake.  
"Oh, well, thank you very much." says Louis, and Harry stands up.  
"Where are you going?" asks the blue-eyed boy.  
"Oh...uhm...can I have some water?"  
Louis quickly stands up, "Yeah, sure," he says, heading to the kitchen.  
And of course Harry didn't miss Louis' dick, it was quite noticeable.  
That makes him feel weird.  
And horny.  
It was very sweet of Louis not to touch or kiss Harry, since he was hard, Harry thinks.  
What is he supposed to do?  
He enters the kitchen and finds Louis with a glass of water in his hand.   
"That's for you and your pretty mouth." says Louis, giving the glass to Harry.  
The green-eyed boy smiles a bit and takes it in his hand, "Thanks..."  
He drinks all of the water and Louis can't help but stare at his lips.  
He thinks those lips would be perfect wrapped around his dick.  
Oh, yes, they would.  
Harry puts the glass on the table and sits on it (he doesn't sit on the glass. Harry thinks it isn't nice breaking glasses by sitting on them).  
Louis licks his lips unintentionally 'cause Harry's just so innocent and Louis could fuck him so well on that table and it'd be so hot.  
But he has a plan, and he's not going to ruin it.  
Harry notices it, and feels the sudden need to lick his lips, so he does.  
And then Louis gets near him, and puts a hand on Harry's thigh.  
Harry almost jumped.  
"Shit, sorry. I'm trying to resist to your beauty but you know, I'm not used to it, it's not that easy."  
Harry blushes and takes a deep breath, "It's okay."   
He means it, but he's too shy to admit something like that out loud without acting like a baby.  
He's not used to all the attentions Louis is giving to him.  
Louis smiles and puts his hand back on Harry's thigh, stroking it a bit.  
Harry tries to focus on something else, but the only thing he can think about is the conversation he had with Louis on kik when he texted him all those dirty things.  
Those things involved Harry's thigh.  
"Baby." says Louis, and Harry looks straight in his eyes.  
Louis can tell Harry's a bit scared of it all, and maybe he has numerous doubts, but he's doing his best not to fuck him, Harry should be grateful.   
If he fucked Harry right now, his plans wouldn't work at all.  
"Please, relax. I'm not going to do something you don't want me to. I want to see you with that beautiful smile and those dimples of yours. Think you can do that for me?"  
Harry smiles without even thinking about it, 'cause Louis is so sweet and he just wants to kiss him.  
"Yes, that's what I meant." says Louis, smiling.  
He gets closer to Harry's body and the green-eyed boy opens his legs a bit to make more room for Louis.  
Louis internally smirks and keeps stroking Harry's thigh, paying attention not to go too further.  
Harry looks at him, now serious 'cause Louis' hand made him forget about smiling.  
The blue-eyed boy looks at Harry, first in his eyes and then at his lips, and Harry's not sure if he imagined it, but Louis keeps doing it.  
If he's looking at my mouth it means he wants to kiss me?, Harry thinks.  
He's not sure.  
But he wants to.  
"I was thinking about something." says Louis, almost in a whisper.  
"W-what were you thinking?"   
Louis smirks at Harry's instable voice.  
He knows he already owns Harry.  
That was easier than he'd expected.  
"Was thinking about you. How beautiful you are. How lovely you   
are." states Louis, and Harry's sweating a little bit.  
This is too much to Harry.   
Is he dreaming?  
'Cause he thinks he's dreaming.  
"And?" asks Harry, knowing there's more.  
At least, he hopes so.  
"And I was thinking about your lips, to be honest. They seem the most kissable lips I've ever seen."  
Harry takes a deep breath 'cause he wasn't expecting Louis to say something like that.  
He was hoping for it, but didn't really expect it.  
"U-uhm...I like yours..." says Harry shyly.  
What he's supposed to say?  
"Oh, yeah? You like them?" asks Louis, smirking.  
Harry nods, and Louis gets even closer to him.  
He licks his lips, and Harry stiffens.  
Shit, it's going to happen, thinks Harry, and he's nervous and happy and excited 'cause he can't freaking wait.  
But then Harry's phone rings, and even if Louis doesn't move, Harry almost jumps, pulling his phone out of his jeans.  
He looks at the screen, then looks at Louis and then looks back at the screen, quickly answering.   
"Hi, mum..."


	24. January 24th, 2011

When Harry was at Louis', Harry's mother rang Nick, who had completely forgotten about his friend, and he told her there was no Harry at his place.  
So after a whole week with no phone, and after Harry invented some excuses, he finally has his phone back now.  
He could't stop thinking about Louis.  
He always thinks about Louis.  
Harry doesn't understand why thinking about Louis makes him feel better and worse at the same time.  
And he can't believe all those things are happening to him.  
He finally found someone who cares for him.  
He's so happy.  
Harry's sure Louis cares for him.  
He saw how Louis acted like.  
The Louis Harry texted with on kik was just a fake, and Harry understands why Louis acted like that.  
He was simply afraid that Harry wouldn't have accepted him.  
And Louis is so sweet, and beautiful, and lovely, and sexy.  
Shit.  
Harry's so into Louis and he can't explain why since he saw him just a few times.  
But he's so into Louis.  
He would do anything for him, really.  
Louis is the most adorable person in the entire world, and he deserves everything Harry can give him.  
At least, that's what Harry thinks.

its_curlyhere: louuu

loveyourdickbby: hey baby you have your phone back?

its_curlyhere: yaaash

loveyourdickbby: finally

loveyourdickbby: miss you so much :(

its_curlyhere: me too.

its_curlyhere: oh...you changed your icon?

loveyourdickbby:  yeah thought youd prefer being the only one who can see it ;)

its_curlyhere: you changed your icon just for me?

loveyourdickbby: yes of course baby 

its_curlyhere: aw...thanks lou...

loveyourdickbby: no prob x and tell me when you wanna go to your second date

its_curlyhere: mh i have to find a little space for you then.

its_curlyhere: im a busy boy.

loveyourdickbby: no baby i told you youre not a busy boy

loveyourdickbby: now tell me who are you?

its_curlyhere: a busy boy?

loveyourdickbby: noo you are my good boy x

its_curlyhere: mh...okay. Right. A busy boy.

loveyourdickbby: :(

its_curlyhere: whaat?

loveyourdickbby: :( :(

its_curlyhere: mh, okay. Maybe we can go out tomorrow? 

loveyourdickbby: :)) yep

loveyourdickbby: we're gonna go to that park you like and then we'll see

loveyourdickbby: and ill take care of you all the time x

loveyourdickbby: 6:30 okay for you?

its_curlyhere: yep. x

 

Harry can't freaking wait to see Louis again.  
He's still waiting for his first kiss, after all.


	25. February 2nd, 2011

Louis and Harry have been seeing each other every single day, and it's been a week.  
Louis' doing is best not to fuck Harry everytime he looks at him and his willpower is growing weak 'cause Harry's too innocent and irresistible.  
Louis' also trying not to get too near the curly-headed boy, and he incredibly still hasn't kissed him (but he can't resist anymore).  
Harry's still confused about everything, but he's truly happy because of the way Louis treats him.  
So, the two of them ended up at Louis' place, and they're on the couch at the moment, Louis' laying on top of Harry paying attention not to put weight on him.  
Harry desperately wants to step back, but he can't 'cause his back is pressed on the couch, and Louis is so beautiful right now, all over him.  
Also, Harry's heartbeat is so fast he fears Louis can hear it.  
"I like you." states Louis, and Harry misses a heartbeat.  
He's staring at Louis like a lost puppy.  
"I like you, really. Can't stop thinking about you. You make me happy. I like you." says Louis, and Harry's feeling so overwhelmed he doesn't know how to react.  
Louis said he likes Harry.  
And Harry thinks he's dreaming (he actually daydreamed a scene like that at least ten times a day for weeks).  
He's lost in reality.  
Louis rubs his thumb on Harry's cheek, looking straight into his green eyes.  
"Did you just..." Harry tries to say, but stops at Louis' smile.  
Shit, that smile.  
"Want me to say it again?"  
Harry nods.  
Louis puts a hand on Harry's thigh, and gets closer to him.  
"Baby. I like you. So much. You're so special..."  
Louis kisses Harry's cheeks, and of course they turn red.  
"Look at you." Louis whispers, stroking Harry's thigh and reaching the inner part.  
Harry closes his eyes and opens his legs a bit, making Louis smirk.  
"You like it, babe?" Louis asks, and Harry nods, opening his eyes to look at him.  
"Good. Remember when I told you I was thinking about your lips?" asks Louis, and Harry nods again (he doesn't trust his voice at all).  
"Well. I'm still thinking about it." Louis moves his hand closer to Harry's dick.  
Harry can't think anymore.  
Harry can't speak anymore.  
He can't even properly breath anymore.  
He doesn't know what to do.  
"So I have a question," Louis keeps looking at Harry, "can I kiss you?"  
Okay, now.  
Is Harry dreaming? Is he imagining it all?  
"U-uhm...I-I don't...I can't...I don't know how to...", he looks down.  
"Hey. Look at me." says Louis with a sweet voice.  
Harry looks at Louis.  
"Don't worry. I'm here for you. Just follow me, yeah?"  
Harry nods, and he's super tense.  
"You're so beautiful, Harry." Louis whispers, getting extremely close to the green-eyed boy.  
Harry looks at him and tries to calm himself down.  
He's been waiting for this moment for days (weeks, to be honest) and now he doesn't know what to do.  
And Louis is so cute, Harry thinks.  
He's so sweet right now, caring for him and telling him not to worry.  
So Harry actually calms down a little bit, but then Louis' lips are pressing on Harry's all of a sudden, and his heartbeat speeds up even more.  
Harry tries to relax by closing his eyes, and when Louis licks Harry's lower lip, the curly-haired boy opens his mouth a bit and lets Louis' tongue enter.  
Harry does his best to mimic Louis' moves, but unfortunately the kiss is pretty bad, all weird and slow.  
After a couple of minutes, though, Louis speeds up his moves, and Harry tries to follow them.  
And finally, after twenty minutes, Harry kind of figured out how to kiss properly (he's trying his best to use all the tricks he knows thanks to what Nick said to him the day before).  
Louis bites Harry's lower lip for a moment, making him gasp a little bit, and he smirks.  
So the two of them keep snogging, and Harry's finally taking confidence.  
Plus, he likes kissing Louis so much that something inside him is making him act.  
Louis finds Harry's mouth so nice and warm he can't wait to put his cock in it, while Harry's so excited about this kiss he could cry.  
Louis is so lovely right now, he thinks.  
The truth is Harry's too hung up on the boy on top of him to realize what's really happening.  
Louis starts kissing Harry's neck, occasionally biting it, and Harry can't help it but moan slightly.  
"Lou..." Harry whispers.  
"Missed you so much, baby." says Louis, and then gives Harry a hickey.  
If Louis couldn't be right here and see Harry's reaction to all of this, he'd pay for that.  
He spent weeks thinking about Harry like that and now here he is, moaning once in a while with his eyes closed and his hips a bit raised, desperately trying to get more friction.  
"M-me too..." says Harry, and if he reacts like that to a couple of kisses, then Louis can't wait to see what will happen while he fucks Harry.  
By the way, since he's so hard right now it hurts, Louis brushes his cock on Harry's, almost making the boy jump at the contact.  
Harry whines and opens his eyes, looking at Louis.  
"This is what you do to me. It's all because of you." whispers Louis, and Harry's not sure of what he's just heard.  
"You can touch it. It's yours, too." states Louis, and Harry looks down at Louis' clothed erection.  
A shiver runs down Harry's spine (and also on Harry's dick, but that's not the point. Wait, it actually is the point.).  
"I...I don't know..."  
"You comfortable like that? Want me to bring you upstairs?" asks nicely Louis, and Harry feels that feeling again.  
Louis truly cares for him, Harry's sure about it.  
That makes his heart warm.  
"Mh...it'd be better...?" says Harry, almost like a question, and Louis stands up, looking at the curly-haired boy.  
Harry's so little, he's like a baby, Louis thinks, and he can't resist him.  
Harry stands up, stumbling a bit on his feet, and Louis takes his hand in his own.  
"Let's go upstairs, baby." says Louis, heading to his room.  
Once they arrive, Louis looks at Harry's little body and gets closer to his neck, biting it.  
Harry moans slightly and holds up on Louis' shoulders to have some support.  
"I...uhm...Lou...?"  
Louis starts kissing Harry's neck, "Baby."  
"U-uhm...I...like...you, too?" says Harry, and now Louis looks at him, faking a cute smile.  
"Shit, I'm so happy." says Louis, making Harry smile.  
"I want you to be my little boy." states Louis, making Harry quiver like crazy.  
"U-uhm...you mean..."  
"My boy." says Louis, and Harry's still thinking about their snogging session.  
"You want me...to...uhm...be...?" he's so embarassed he can't form proper sentences/questions.  
"My boyfriend, yes." says Louis determined, making Harry smile.  
"Uhm...I think it'd be okay..." says the curly-haired boy, and Louis throws his tongue into Harry's mouth.

"Can I teach you something nice?" asks Louis, caressing Harry's thigh.  
Louis' dick hurts too much, Harry's heart too.  
The two of them snogged for a hour or so, and now Louis is trying to speed things up.  
"Yep." says Harry, feeling way more confident with Louis after all the nice things the blue-eyed boy said to him.  
"It's something you can do using your hands. You can also add your mouth, if you want." whispers Louis in Harry's ear, and the curly-haired boy feels a quiver run down his whole body.  
"And it feels very, very good." Louis licks Harry's lobe, and Harry closes his eyes, "Mh..."  
He doesn't know how all of this is going to end up.  
Is he ready for the next step?  
He's a bit afraid, to be honest.  
He wasn't expecting Louis to be so caring and lovely.  
"Does my baby wanna try it?"  
Harry opens his eyes and looks at Louis, "You want me...to do something or...?"  
Louis rubs his hand near Harry's dick, and Harry slightly moans.  
Of course he's hard.  
"It's up to you. But I want to make you feel good. So good, baby." Louis starts unzipping Harry's jeans, and Harry lets him.  
He doesn't know why, but he feels like he can trust Louis.  
He's been thinking about it a lot, lately.  
Also, if he likes Louis and vice versa, then why not?  
Louis slowly removes Harry's jeans, and looks at him.  
When Harry looks at Louis, he blushes so much he fears his cheeks are burning.  
"Is it okay for you, babe?"  
"Uhm...yeah..."  
Louis wants to know if this is okay for me, he's so cute, Harry thinks.  
So Louis removes Harry's boxers too and strokes his erection using his hand.  
Harry moans.  
"So beautiful." Louis whispers, lowering himself on Harry's body and reaching for his dick with his tongue, licking the tip a bit.  
"Lou..." Harry slightly gasps.  
Louis' tongue feels so good.  
"Yes, baby. Tell me if this is too much, okay?" asks the blue-eyed boy looking at Harry, who eventually nods.  
Louis sucks Harry's dick in his mouth, going up and down on it and tightening his lips to give Harry more pleasure.  
Harry's already a moaning mess, and Louis loves it.  
Louis keeps sucking hard on Harry in the following minutes, reaching for the tip once in a while and sucking on it, occasionally biting it.  
When he feels Harry's cock throbbing really hard in his mouth, he pulls out, receiving a little whine by Harry.  
"I-I'm close Lou..." the curly-haired boy whispers.  
His voice is so hot it makes Louis' dick hurt even more.  
So Louis licks all over Harry's dick, from the tip to his balls, tugging on one of them with his mouth, sucking on it.  
Harry's doing his best not to come, moaning as his life depends on it, but he's been holding his orgasm for too long and the only thing on his mind is LouisLouisLouis.  
So right when Louis pulls out Harry's balls and takes Harry's tip in his mouth again, sucking on it, Harry comes with a loud moan and squeezes the blanket with his fingers, knuckles are now white.  
His thighs are trembling like crazy as his whole body is doing, and Harry's never felt so good in his entire life.  
Like, really.  
"L-lou..." he whispers, and Louis keeps sucking Harry's dick, after he swallowed its come.  
Again, Harry can't believe what just happened to him.  
He's so happy and relaxed and- and he's so happy he could jump for a hour straight, if only his thighs weren't instable.  
Louis completely pulls away and licks his own lips, cleaning his face by using his wrist.  
He's been looking at Harry the whole time and he feels like he's going to come just for the beautiful view he had in the last five minutes.  
To distract himself and don't make Harry think the only thing he wants to do right now is fucking that adorable boy till next morning, Louis kiss Harry's tummy and reach for his neck, leaving kisses all over it.  
Harry's still trembling and the only thing he can do is breathing heavily.  
"You okay?" Louis whispers, faking a cute voice.  
Harry smiles and nods, 'cause Louis is just so caring he could never wish for someone else.  
"Good. You can take a nap, if you're tired." Louis caresses Harry's cheek.  
The green-eyed boy opens his eyes and looks at Louis.  
"I'm a bit tired...but...I wanna do...something..."  
Harry's not sure about it, but he feels like he owns Louis an orgasm.  
Also, Louis made him feel so good, he wants to thank him and give him something back.  
Louis deserves it.  
"Baby, I think it's for the better if you sleep a bit. I don't want you to be weak, you know?" Louis kisses Harry's cheek, making the guy smile.  
"You're so cute...uhm...I mean...yeah...uhm...no, it's okay. I want you...to come..."  
Louis internally smirks at Harry's statement.  
"You sure? You don't have to do it, I did it 'cause I wanted you to feel good. And to show you I care." says Louis, already knowing the answer.  
You see, Harry's been wrapped around his finger since the first text Louis sent him.  
And Louis knows it, as much as he knows how to use it to his advantage.  
Harry nods, "But...uhm...I don't really know...how to...mh...do it?"  
Louis smiles and looks at Harry straight into his eyes.  
"I'll teach you."


	26. February 5th, 2011

"Harry. Edward. Styles. Will you explain who did this to your neck?!"  
Harry abruptly wakes up at his mother's complains.  
He lazily opens his eyes and turns around in the sheets, then looks at his mother.  
"What?" he asks, sleepy.  
"Harry. Your neck. Explain."  
At that point, Harry completely wakes up, blushing a little (too much) when his mind goes back to what happened the day before.  
Louis.  
Harry smiles a little bit just because he thought about those beautiful eyes, and mouth, and voice, and Louis' so lovely.  
"Harry?!"  
He almost jumps when his mother's voice takes him back to reality.  
"U-uhm...I...can explain?"  
"Yes, Harry. You better explain."  
He takes a deep breath and looks at his mother, "I mean...what am I supposed to say? You're not dumb..."  
Anne, Harry's mother, takes a deep breath too, and sits near Harry, on his bed.  
The curly-headed boy is already trembling, and his mother notices it.  
"Sorry, honey. I shouldn't have raised my voice, but I- I just got scared, you know? You're my little Harry and I can't believe you're growing up so quickly." says Anne, lowering her voice and caressing Harry's arms.  
"I just want to make sure that whatever you did, it was alright with you. I don't want people to take advantage of you."  
Harry smiles a little at his mum. She acted like that just because she was concerned about him, that was kind of nice of her.  
"Mum...mh...I didn't tell you anything 'cause I was a bit...uncomfortable...I mean, it's okay...but...you know, it's awkward." he blushes again, making his mother smile slightly.  
"I know, honey. I was a teenager, too. But, don't you want to tell me who she is?"  
Harry furrows his eyebrows, confused.  
"She?" he asks.  
"Yes, c'mon, I want to know who your girlfriend is! Or was it a random girl? Harry, I hope it wasn't you the one who took advantage."  
Girlfriend?  
Shit.  
"U-uhm...no...I'd never do that, mum."  
Anne sighs, "You better not. And tell me something about her."  
"Uhm...well...ehm...she is...she...we have science class together and...she's cute, and caring, and lovely, and so so cute." Harry smiles thinking about Louis, her mother smiles too.  
"Ow, my baby..." she says, looking at Harry, "...and what's her name?"  
Harry's trying to think about a name but the only one in his mind is 'LouisLouisLouis'.  
"She...is...ehm...Claire?"  
But after ten minutes of Harry telling lies to his mother, he decides to stop it.  
He doesn't want his mother to be happy because of the lies he's telling her.  
"It's a boy."  
Anne furrows her eyebrows.  
"What? Is Claire pregnant? Already? Harry!"  
Harry blushes, and he doesn't even know why.  
"No, no, mum...i mean..." he looks down, "Mum...I didn't want to lie but...I was afraid...and...Claire doesn't even exist...I'm dating...a...uhm...a boy..." Harry whispers the last part, hoping Anne didn't hear him.  
They both stay silent for a minute or so.  
"Were you afraid of my reaction, honey?" asks nicely Anne, and Harry looks at her, confused.  
Why isn't she screaming at him for being a queer?  
He nods.  
"Harry...I want you to be yourself, expecially with me. I know this is a very strange period of your life, but for this reason I want you to be yourself and to be happy with yourself. This is important, Harry. Whoever you are, be yourself."  
Wow, okay.  
Harry wasn't expecting this, and he can't help it but smile at her mother.  
He's so lucky to have her and he's realizing it just right now.  
"Thank you, mum. I love you. Thank you, really. I...uhm...I thought you were going to scream at me because I'm...uhm...kind of...gay..."  
Anne gets closer to Harry, and then she kisses him on the cheek.  
"I'd never do that. Love you too, honey. And I think this is enough for today, now is it?"  
Harry nods, relieved he doesn't have to say anything about Louis.  
Telling his mother Harry's dating a 21 year old boy isn't the best option, for now.  
Wait, is Louis that old?  
Is he too old for Harry?  
Is their relationship wrong?  
Harry doesn't know, but he likes Louis way too much to care about everything else.  
"Mum?"  
"Yes, honey?"  
"Uhm...can you keep it as...a secret? Please, don't tell Robin." he quickly says the last part.  
Anne smiles, "That will be our secret, except for 'Claire'." she says, knowingly, and Harry feels relieved.

"What the fuck did Louis do?" Nick asks, and Harry furrows his eyebrows.  
"What did he do?"  
"Oh, I don't know, tell me."  
"Nick, what's wrong?" asks a confused Harry, and Nick looks at him.  
They are outside school since it doesn't starts till the next ten minutes.  
"Did Louis fuck you?"  
Harry blushes, just thinking about the idea.  
"No, he didn't. Uhm...why?"  
Alright, maybe Harry's neck is a bit bruised because of Louis' mouth and teeth, but it's not that noticeable, is it?  
"Harry, I'm serious. Did he fuck you?"  
The curly-headed boy sighs.  
"He didn't. And when it'll happen, we will both fuck. It's not like Louis fucks me and that's it." says Harry, with that cute red cheeks of his.  
He's sweating just because he's thinking about Louis.  
Nick looks at him silently for a moment.  
"I don't want you guys to fuck. At least, not now. You hear me? Do. Not. Fuck."  
Harry furrows his eyebrows.  
"I don't get it. You're the one who made us meet. Why are you acting like that?"  
"I just...Harry, I don't want you to be sad because of him."  
Harry smiles, Nick just worries too much.  
"He makes me happy, Nick!"  
"Yeah, now he makes you happy, then...", Nick mutters something Harry can't hear.  
"It's okay if you're jealous. You're still my Nick." Harry says cutely, kissing his friend on the cheeks while holding his head in his hands.  
"Harry. Let go of my head. Now."  
Harry giggles, and lets go of Nick.  
"Please, Harry. Pay attention, yeah? Louis is a bit..."  
"Louis is lovely. Shut up." Harry stops Nick, that sighs and gives up on making Harry think about how Louis is not as good as he seems to be.  
Why did Nick give Harry's kik to Louis? Nick doesn't fucking know.  
"Don't let him fuck you already, okay? Think about it, it's important. Or else you'll have regrets, like me." says Nick, and Harry rolls his eyes.  
"I'm not a child. I know. You're just worried and boring. Shut up." Harry kisses Nick on the cheek, again, and chuckles at Nick's disgusted face.  
"Love you." says Harry, and Nick pretends not to hear him, internally smiling, though.

 

After hours spent at school, Nick and Harry ended up arguing.  
Nick kept telling Harry to be careful, and Harry just didn't want to hear him.  
He was tired of Nick statements, it seemed like Nick was trying to split Harry and Louis up.  
So Harry just arrived at Louis' place, and he can't wait to spend time with his 'lovely boyfriend'.  
"Hey, look at how beautiful you are." says Louis, and Harry's already feeling better.  
"Hi..." he kisses Louis' lips for a moment and tries to pull out, but Louis puts his hands on Harry's waist and starts their snogging session.  
Harry closes his eyes and puts his hands on Louis' cheeks, following Louis' tongue with his own and occasionally biting his lower lip.  
He learnt Louis loves it.  
This is why Louis slightly moans at what Harry's doing, but quickly takes his dominance back, pushing Harry on the door he closed the second before, deepening the kiss.  
Harry tries to say something, and Louis pulls out, looking at his green eyes while licking his lips.  
Harry looks at him, too, their breath a bit ramped up.  
"Sorry, love. I couldn't help it. You're just so hot with your neck covered by my hickeys," Louis whispers, kissing Harry's neck, "Anyway, what happened? You okay?"  
Harry told Louis he was a bit upset, this is why he came over.  
Louis of course can't wait to reassure him.  
With a blowjob.  
And by the time Harry told him everything that had happened with Nick, they were laying on the couch.  
Harry doesn't mind, though, he likes being like that with Louis.  
"And I don't get it. Why did he act so rude? He's mad at me just because I spend my time with you. What's wrong with that?" asks  Harry, innocently.  
Louis sighs and fakes a sad face, "There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure Nick was just tired and stressed out, you know? Now let me take care of you, yeah?"  
Louis kisses Harry's little jawline, making him close his eyes.  
"Yeah...also, I want to add something else." says Harry, and Louis looks at his neck.  
He's really proud of what he did the day before.  
"Go ahead, baby."  
"Alright...I...uhm...I want your fingers inside me. Please."  
And that was it.  
Louis' cock twitches in his boxers because he wasn't expecting Harry to say something like that.  
And the fact this little boy kind of begged for it is a fucking turn on.  
So Louis looks at Harry, who opens his green eyes and looks at the boy.  
Louis smirks.  
"What was that? Was that my little boy?"  
Harry blushes like crazy and hides his face in his hands.  
Alright, why is Louis thinking Harry's cute.  
"Yes, I think it was." Louis chuckles, and removes Harry's hands from his face.  
Harry looks at him, "Uhm...I read boys like it when other boys...say things like that..."  
And the innocent way Harry's voice sounds is so amazing Louis just wants to fuck him, right now, right here.  
"And where did you read that?" asks Louis, trying to distract his own dick.  
"I'm not telling you!"  
Harry's cheeks are still red, and Louis chuckles again.  
"And do you know its meaning? My fingers inside you?"  
"Of course! I'm sixteen."  
Louis truly laughs.  
"You're my little boy, that's what you are."  
Louis does think Harry's irresistible, expecially now that he's trying to be confident with sex-related stuff.  
"And? That doesn't mean anything." says Harry strictly, and Louis can't stop thinking about his cuteness.  
Well, he has to stop it.  
"Oh, yeah, that means I can put my fingers inside your cute little bum." says Louis, caressing Harry's thigh.  
"Mh...maybe..."  
Louis reached his goal in just a couple of days, and now has Harry practically craving for sex.  
He knew it.  
"Maybe?" Louis unzips Harry's jeans, slips his hand in his boxers and takes his dick in his hand, making Harry jumps a little.  
"Lou..." Harry whispers, closing his eyes and rising his hips a little bit.  
"Look who's already hard for me." whispers Louis in Harry's ear, stroking his dick and touching the tip with his thumb.  
That makes Harry open his legs, but not too much since the couch makes it difficult.  
"Wanna go upstairs..." he says, making Louis smirk even more.  
"Oh? Why?" Louis presses Harry's tip in his hand, making him moan.  
"I-I don't have room..."  
"What for?" Louis takes Harry's lower lip in his teeth and sucks on it.  
Harry slightly moans, "L-lou...please..."  
Louis loves the way Harry says 'please'.  
He's so needy.  
"What, baby?"  
"Daddy..." Harry whispers.  
And that was it.  
"Shit."  
Louis takes Harry's jeans and boxers off all of a sudden and spreads Harry's legs as open as he can.  
He put three fingers near Harry's mouth, "Now, lick and suck"  
Harry eagerly opens his mouth and does as told.  
"Yes, just like that." Louis encourage Harry, looking at him as if the boy is something to eat.  
Actually, Louis could easily eat him out.  
By the way, when Harry's done sucking, Louis sits with his knees pressing on the couch and bends Harry's legs.  
He can see Harry needs him to do something or he'll explode.  
The curly-headed boy's sligthly trembling and whining and Louis can't help it but tease Harry's little hole with a finger.  
Harry tenses up, and his entrance now is even tighter.  
Louis almost moans at that.  
"Shh, baby, relax. Can you relax for me?"  
Harry nods, and Louis smiles at how cute he looks.  
Hot and cute.  
How did he even ended up with him?  
Louis tries not to think about it and slides the finger inside Harry, making him moan a little bit.  
Harry already feels his body burning, but he's so overwhelmed he can't focus on other things but Louis.  
So Louis thrusts his finger in and out once Harry kind of got used to it, and he's loving the way Harry moans and raises his hips up just for him.  
"Gonna add another one, yeah?" says Louis, making Harry nod.  
He slides his second finger in, looking at Harry and enjoying the way he's reacting to all of this.  
Harry's making Louis' dick hurt, though, and this is the only little problem to all of this.  
Harry squeezes his eyes shut and moans right when Louis moves his fingers a little bit more, changing directions many times.  
But then Harry's phone rings, Louis keeps scissoring his fingers inside him and Harry tries to make him stop, even if he doesn't really want Louis to stop.  
"L-lou...please, my phone..."  
"No, babe. I want you to feel good. I take all of this very seriously. It isn't just an orgasm. It's me and you." says Louis, and Harry of course smiles at his lies and feels beloved.  
He's so lucky to have Louis.  
He can't help it but smile.  
And the following second he frowns 'cause Louis added another finger in his little hole (little for now) and let's just say it's not the most comfortable situation ever.  
"A-alright...but...it burns..."  
"Shh, it's okay, baby." Louis reassuringly whispers, and leans over Harry to lick his dick.  
"Oh, shit..."  
Harry's all tensed up and sweating that Louis has to touch his own dick to relieve the pain.  
Just looking at Harry like that makes him lose his mind.  
Louis slightly moans, feeling less pressure on his dick, and keeps licking Harry.  
Harry gave up on his phone 'cause Louis' licking his dick while moving his fingers inside him and the only thing he can do is moan.  
"Feeling better, baby?" Louis removes his hands off his own cock to support his body over Harry's and slowly rubs his erection on the couch.  
Harry opens his eyes and looks at him for a moment, then closes his eyes almost at the same time because Louis' too much.  
"Y-yeah...I'm close, Lou..."  
The more Louis teases with his tongue, the more Harry feels close to his climax.  
So Louis sucks on Harry's tummy and all over his dick, then takes his tip in his mouth and sucks it hard.  
"S-shit..." Harry breathes, and Louis thrusts his fingers on and out even quicker, adding another one.  
"Lou..." Harry moans Louis' name many times, and when Louis manages to take Harry's dick in his mouth and sucks even harder on it, Harry comes with a loud moan in Louis' throat, making him moan.  
Maybe it's the fact Harry's hole is all clenched around Louis' fingers, or maybe it's the fact Louis still has to come and he's close, but when he looks at the breathless boy under his body while rubbing his dick on the counch, he can't help it but come.


	27. February 8th, 2011

Louis doesn't know why Nick is acting so weird, in fact he's expectantly looking at Nick, waiting for him to say something.  
Nick just stares at Louis.  
"Guess you invited me over for a beer, right? Even if I don't see any?" Louis lazily sits on his friend's couch.  
"No, it's just I wasn't expecting you and Harry to get so close, and now I feel like I should say something to stop your plans on making Harry your fucking toy," says Nick, "and I'm being serious."  
Nick crosses his arms and sits on the other couch, Louis manages not to chuckle or smirk.  
"I like Harry, Nick. It's something new to me, but I'm doing my best. He's so cute, you know?"  
"You don't like him, Louis. And if you want to pretend to be someone else, then don't fucking do it with Harry."  
Louis frowns, "The fuck, Nick? I'm not pretending at all and just because I always had different types of relationships, it doesn't mean anything. I care about Harry and I'd never hurt him." says Louis, faking his seriousness.  
Nick stares at Louis.  
"You think I'm an idiot?!" Nick raises his voice all of a sudden, and Louis furrows his eyebrows.  
"Nick, I think you're just a little stressed out, you know?"  
"Louis, you perfectly know what I'm talking about. Don't fucking pretend with me, at least. I know who you are and I know Harry, and your relationship is wrong. You fucking touched him and I don't wanna know the other things you did to him, and you don't even know him. Clearly, you're just fooling him."  
"No, Nick, I swear..."  
Nick interrupts Louis' words.  
"And I know how this is all going to end up..."  
"This is not gonna end up soon, and you should mind your fucking business, you know?" Louis raises his voice, too.  
"I won't mind my own business if you're planning to hurt Harry. He doesn't know shit about people and he doesn't realize your dirty intentions. Fucking leave him now. If you want to fuck, you have plenty of other people ready to do it, people that give you their consent." says Nick strictly, and Louis has to think about something convincing to say.  
"Harry's aware of what he's doing. In fact, he tells me all the things we can do, 'cause he feels comfortable with me and wants to try them out. And I don't want anyone else but Harry." Louis states, looking straight into Nick's eyes.  
"Oh, fuck me." Nick takes his head in his hands, thinking about something that could make Harry realize what's really happening to him, but he can't think straight (being gay is hard sometimes).  
"Nick, I told you I just want to be with Harry. If you want me to fuck you and you're feeling like crap for this reason, you could have talked to me. Now, you want me to call Brian?"  
Louis' just kidding, he knows Nick didn't mean it like that, but he's trying to relieve the tension.  
And as if on clue, Brian, Nick's rommate, shows up in the living room.  
"You guys talking about me, eh?" Brian smirks at the two boys in front of him and sits in between them.  
"Yeah, I think Nick needs a good fuck. Can you help him?" asks Louis, with s smirk.  
"Why not? Nick, honey, you ready? Want Louis to join us?" Brian asks jokingly to Nick.  
"Listen. As long as you'll keep pretending you care about Harry, I'm not talking with you." Nick stands up and quickly goes in his room, locking the door.  
He couldn't look at Louis anymore.  
He did a mistake, he shouldn't have made Louis and Harry talk in the first place, but the evening he gave Louis Harry's nickname, he was drunk and wasn't even thinking, and now it's all his fault.  
Harry will end up heartbroken and hurt just because of Nick.  
Nick's making Harry's life a nightmare, even if Harry still has to find it out.  
And when Nick desperately tries to call Harry, dialing his number (the two of them are getting distant because of what Nick said about Louis -the truth), Louis and Brian are still on the couch, Louis is releaved he doesn't have to invent other excuses -he could have easily done it anyways- and Brian's confused.  
"What was Nick talking about?"  
"Oh, I dunno. Guess you noticed he's a bit stressed out, didn't you?" asks Louis, getting closer to Brian.  
Brian looks at his lips for a moment and then back at his eyes, "Mh, yeah, I noticed. Hope he's gonna relax a bit."  
"And why aren't you fucking him so that he can feel more relaxed?" asks Louis.  
"I don't want to fuck him. I mean, how could I? With you beside me?"  
Louis smirks even more and puts his hand on Brian's left thigh.  
Brian opens his legs a little bit more and looks at Louis, "Miss you." he pouts like a baby, 'cause he knows Louis loves it.  
"Yeah?" Louis moves his hand closer to Brian's dick.  
You see, their friendship with benefits is always a good thing when they're bored and don't know what to do.  
"Yeah, you don't?" asks Brian.  
So the two of them ends up in Louis' car, Brian is seated on Louis' thighs and Louis' hands are on his butt.  
And they're snogging.  
And Louis bites and sucks Brian's lips and neck, squeezing his butt so hard that they both moan.  
"Bet I don't even have to prep you, you little slut." Louis whispers in Brian's ear, making him shiver.  
Brian loves it when Louis calls him that, they both know so.  
"N-no, you don't..." Brian admits, weakly, 'cause Louis' sucking on his neck and, yeah, he missed that sex god.  
Louis keeps biting and sucking Brian's neck till he removes his t-shirt and looks at his abs.  
He traces them with his hand, Brian looks at him and grinds his hips on Louis' dick as much as he can.  
So Louis helps him removing his jeans, then unzips his own, and Brian doesn't waste time on taking Louis' dick in his hand, stroking it slowly.  
"Where have you been this week, mh?" asks Brian, looking at Louis.  
"Not your business, darling." Louis slightly moans, but keeps looking at Brian.  
"Alright," Brian kisses Louis' collarbones, "but I know I'm the best, 'cause I make you feel so, so good, babe. Nobody makes you feel like that."  
Brian removes his jeans and boxers, lowers Louis' boxers and slides Louis' dick inside him.  
And they fuck for a hour so hard that after they're done Louis doesn't know how his car's still intact.

 

loveyourdickbby: hey love x

its_curlyhere: hiii lou. x

loveyourdickbby: how is my baby?

its_curlyhere: mh, good.

loveyourdickbby: well i think i know how to make him feel better

its_curlyhere: you do?

loveyourdickbby: yes i do baby  
   
its_curlyhere: so?

loveyourdickbby: so why dont you come over

its_curlyhere: im studying

loveyourdickbby: no youre texting me darling  
   
its_curlyhere: mhh alright, just wait thirty mins then.

loveyourdickbby: would wait my whole life for you baby x

 

As every time Harry comes to Louis' place, Louis' currently trying to do something sex-related, and Harry's a bit lost, he doesn't really know what's happening, he just knows they're on Louis' couch.  
"So, can I fuck you, now?"  
Harry opens his eyes wide, "W-what?"  
Louis kisses Harry's tummy, "Your little hole is ready for me. Are you?" he looks at Harry, who forgot how old he is and what's his name.  
Harry just thinks about Louis and his voice and his lips and how lovely he is.  
"Uhm...I...don't think so..."  
Louis brush his fingers on Harry's clothed dick, then lowers his boxers a little bit, "Mh...you don't think so?"  
Louis removes Harry's boxers and tosses them on the floor.  
Harry blushes and his thighs are already trembling 'cause Louis' head is in between them, too close to his dick, and he's trying to breath normally.  
And of course he's hard.  
"L-lou...I don't think...I mean..."  
"That makes me sad. You want to see me sad?" Louis asks, cutting off Harry's words and licking his tip.  
"N-no, I don't..." Harry takes a deep breath and tries to connect his mind to his body, but, again, Louis kissing his dick is the only thing he can think about.  
"You want to see me happy?" Louis rubs his hand on Harry's dick, making him moan.  
"Y-yeah...but...I don't really feel like..."  
"Then make me happy. Will you?" Louis licks Harry's tip again, then takes his dick in his mouth and sucks it.  
Harry's moaning so much, and that's just the beginning.  
"B-but...L-lou..." Harry manages to say, and Louis sucks on his dick even more, going up and down on it.  
"Oh...shit, Lou..."  
Louis pulls out and looks at Harry, who whines for his boyfriend's assence.  
"No...Lou, please..."  
"I was sucking you off 'cause I want to make you feel good. But then I realized you don't want the same thing for me." states Louis, and Harry shakily exhales.  
"I-I'm sorry...but...Lou...please...I need a little bit more of..."  
Louis slides two fingers in Harry' entrance and quickly thrusts them in and out.  
Harry winces and moans loudly, closing his eyes and shaking from head to toes.  
He wasn't prepared to this, neither physically not psychologically, and it's a bit too much.  
"Just think about it, love. You like what I'm doing with my fingers?"  
Louis adds a third finger and keeps thrusting them in and out of Harry.  
"Y-yeah..." whispers Harry, even if Louis' hurting him a little bit, but just a little bit, and everything's going too quickly.  
"Now think about my cock. My cock instead of these little fingers, thrusting in you so fast and hard, baby..."  
Louis licks Harry's pre-come, taking a bit of the tip in his mouth and playing with it.  
Harry's so hot right now.  
He seems so innocent and unaware of Louis' intentions, but at the same time he's moaning for Louis as if he's the only person worth his life.  
Harry actually thinks so.  
"B-but..."  
But then someone rings the doorbell, and Louis stops in his moves.  
Harry looks at him, confused.  
"Wait, baby. Let me see who's at the door, yeah?" Louis stands up and hands Harry his boxers.  
"I think it's my mother, so put these on, please. And go upstairs. Get ready for me."  
Harry nods, he loves it when Louis tells him what to do.  
So Harry quickly heads to the stairs, trying not to think about his erection, then arrives at Louis' bedroom and lays down on his back.  
What is he supposed to do?  
And while Harry thinks about Louis and how much he likes the boy and wonders about what's going to happen, Louis quickly cleans his fingers up and reaches the doorway, then opens the door and sees his mother.  
He takes a deep breath.  
"Hey, mum."  
Louis' mother goes past his son, entering the flat, and kisses him on the cheeks.  
"Hi, boo," her mother smiles at him, "How are you?"  
She heads to the kitchen and puts some bags on the table.  
Louis looks at the stairs for a second, thinking about Harry, then he follows his mother in the kitchen and looks at the bags.  
"I'm fine, thanks. What about you, mum?" Louis asks, looking at his mother and getting closer to her.  
He caresses her cheeks with his thumbs, making her mother smile.  
Despite the way he treats people, he truly loves her mother and his sisters.  
Actually, he likes girls, in a friendly way.  
But when it comes to boys, he's a fucking asshole (and surprisingly he doesn't buttom).  
"We're fine," Louis' mother says, referring to the whole family, "Oh, and I thought you'd like having some fruit, bought it just for you. I know you never eat it, in fact I bet my right leg there's no fruit in your fridge."  
Louis chuckles, "You're right mum. And thanks."  
He takes the bags and places the fruit in a specific box at the end of the fridge.  
"Hope you're satisfied, now." Louis says, and he thinks about Harry for a moment.  
"I am, little man. So, what were you doing when I arrived?"  
Louis tries to think about something but the only thing in his mind is Harry.  
Harry, who's nacked in his bedroom waiting for him to fuck his arse.  
"I was just...cleaning, you know. Actually, I wasn't really doing something productive. You know, when I wander in my house and look for something to do..."  
His mother looks at him, and Louis can tell she already knows he's lying.  
And then she laughs, all of a sudden, and Louis looks at her, confused.  
"What?" he asks.  
"Eh...as if I didn't do anything like that when I was younger."  
Louis keeps looking at his mother.  
"Everytime I was with your father and my parents or his parents would come back home we -me and your father- did the worst things not to get caught." she chuckles slightly and Louis doesn't miss the way her eyes and voice change.  
He truly hopes for his mother to find someone that won't mess things up again, as his father did, as he's currently doing.  
"So, I'll see you soon, yeah?"  
Louis' mother kisses his cheeks, again, and leaves the house after saying a sweet "Bye, boo."  
Louis sighs and takes a deep breath.  
After ten minutes of questions about Harry that keep pop in Louis' mind, Louis realizes he's been thinking way too much, and he doesn't understand why did he spend so much time thinking about a boy. He goes upstairs and looks at Harry right when he enters his room.  
Harry's so beautiful, all curled up in his bed looking like a baby.  
His breaths are different than usual, and Louis realizes the boy's sleeping.  
He gets closer to Harry and looks at his cute face, and curls, and body.  
Then he doesn't know why, but Louis starts caressing Harry's hair.  
Questions about Harry are still in Louis' mind. What is Louis doing to him?  
Why is he taking advantage of a boy so oblivious?    
Also, why is Harry so innocent and unaware?  
Louis fooled many people throughout his life, but the majority of them realized he was just interested in their bodies and sometimes they were interested just in his body, too.  
But, why is Harry so fond of him?  
And why is Louis thinking about it?  
Shouldn't he just fuck him and taking advantage of him?  
Where did these thoughts come from?


	28. February 9h, 2011

So Louis went to Harry's school.  
Actually, he's waiting for his boyfriend right outside the school.  
Yeah, the same boyfriend he cheated on the day before, just because Louis and his fuck buddy were in the same place at the wrong minute.  
It's not that Louis feels guilty -of course not-, but the things his mother told him the day before made him realize something.  
The thing is, he doesn't know what it is, but the more he thinks about his father, the more his breath quickens.  
He's acting as his father used to (and probably still doing).  
And of course he's alright with his lifestyle, but if he thinks about his mother and the look in her eyes when she was talking about his father, he feels weird.  
And not in a positive way.  
Is Louis that bad?   
Is he acting in the wrong way?  
Why is he even thinking about it?  
Harry will get over their 'relationship' anyway.  
Louis' gaze goes to some students exiting the school, and he shakes his head to stop his thoughts and look for Harry in the crowd without thinking about his fucked-up mind.  
After a couple of minutes, he finally spots Harry and Nick, and of course they're not coming in his direction.   
So, Louis follows them and once he arrives behind Harry he puts his hands on his hips, even if he's carring a rucksack.  
Harry jumps a little bit and turns around, and when he sees Louis he blushes and tries to say something.  
"Oh...uhm...Lou?" he smiles a little, and Louis smiles back.  
He wasn't expecting Louis to be here, and he's suddenly super excited.  
"Hi, baby." Louis sweetly says, leaning over Harry and kissing him on the lips.  
And while Harry's so embarassed and happy and excited because of Louis, and Louis' just thinking about what they'll end up doing later, Nick looks at them with a raised eyebrow.  
Is Louis serious? Is Harry serious?  
Why is Harry acting as a silly sod?And why did he even say to Harry that Louis is someone he can trust?   
What was he thinking about?  
Nick doesn't know.  
Maybe he's a silly sod himself.  
So, Louis pulls out and looks at Harry, who's still blushing, and Nick clears his throat.  
Harry and Louis' attention is now on him.  
"So? Will you think about it?" asks Nick, and Louis looks at the little boy beside him.  
Harry nods, still looking at Nick, and then looks at Louis.   
"All right, see you tomorrow." says coldly Nick.  
"See you tomorrow." Harry says, and Nick finally leaves.  
Of course Nick and Louis didn't even look at each other.  
If Nick's trying to make Harry think about his relationship with Louis as a negative thing, then he's an hopeless idiot.  
Louis notices Harry's now looking at Nick's direction, so he caresses his hand on Harry's cheek, and now the green-eyed boy is looking at him, smiling a little.  
"What are you...doing here? I mean, I'm glad you're here, I just...want to know..."   
Louis chuckles, "Don't worry, love, I just wanted to see you and go out somewhere. You up to it?"  
Harry opens his eyes wide, "Yes!" he exclaims, and then hugs Louis.  
Louis tries to hug Harry, but it's a bit difficult.  
When Harry pulls out, Louis suggests to go to his car, and so they head to it.  
Now that the two of them are seated in the car, Harry looks at his hands, pretending to find them interesting, and Louis wonders why that boy's so embarassed.  
"Hey." Louis turns his body to have a better look at Harry.  
"Mh?" Harry shyly looks at Louis.  
"Don't be embarassed. I'm just Louis, yeah?" Louis puts a hand on Harry's thigh, making everything worse.  
"Y-yeah...uhm...okay..."   
Harry doesn't know why he's so nervous, but he's sure it's because of Louis.  
And that's pretty obvious.  
"Hey." Louis says again, leaning over Harry.  
"Uhm...hi..."   
Harry seems so cute and little in this moment Louis just wants to kiss him and touch him wherever he can.  
"You're beautiful." Louis whispers, then leans over even more so that his lips and Harry's are almost touching.  
Harry's cheeks are so red Louis doesn't know if he should kiss and bite them first, or if he should directly go for his lips.  
And Harry's sweating too much, again, his heartbeat is way too fast.  
He hopes Louis won't notice.  
Louis smiles and closes the distance between the two of them, kissing Harry's plump lips.  
The following second he slightly pulls out, but his lips are almost touching Harry's.  
"So beautiful, babe. I'm so lucky to have you." Louis whispers, sending shivers all over Harry's body, pressed on the passenger seat.  
He's trying to breath normally but he really can't.  
Louis said Harry's beautiful.   
And he said he's lucky because of Harry.   
Is Harry dreaming, again?  
And Louis stops Harry's questions right when he licks Harry's lower   
lip and they start snogging.  
This time is different, though.  
The kiss is more calm, is sweet, and Harry loves it.  
Louis leans even more on Harry's body, ignoring the gap between the driver seat and the passenger one, and cups Harry's cheeks with his hands, but then has to drop a hand off to steady his body over Harry's.  
He caresses Harry's cheek and keeps kissing him, Harry's slightly trembling so he keeps his hands on the seat.  
Louis doesn't know why he's kissing Harry like that.  
Actually, he's doing it just to fool Harry, to be sure Harry thinks Louis really likes him.  
The only sound they can hear is their lips kissing, Louis' not even biting Harry's lips.  
He's never snogged like that before, and it's odd.  
Harry loves the sound of their lips kissing.  
It's so relaxing and at the same time exciting he wants this moment to be eternal, to never end.  
When Louis pulls out after a while and looks at Harry's eyes, he skims his hands over Harry's chest, and he hears the boy's heartbeat.  
Harry blushes again but keeps looking at Louis, 'cause Louis' smiling and he's caressing his chest, and Louis' so lovely.  
"My baby." Louis whispers, and his hand now is in Harry's curls, caressing them.  
Harry closes his eyes and relaxes a little bit, he loves it when Louis touches his hair. "Mh..."  
Louis is so caring it makes his heart happy.  
He's so sweet, Harry thinks.  
"Sorry for yesterday." says Louis, and Harry opens his eyes.  
"What for?" Harry asks confused.  
"I'm sorry. Shouldn't have touched you like that. I mean yesterday. I didn't even sleep this morning. I just want to kiss you and tell you you're amazing. I'm really sorry."   
And of course Louis' lying, but Harry doesn't know it and he misses a heartbeat.  
"See? You're sweet. And you're telling me you're sorry just because you wanted to go further. It's not that I didn't want to...it was just...I was a bit scared...but you were just trying to make me feel good, weren't you? You told me so." Harry says, and Louis internally smirks.  
He affected Harry's thoughts, and everything's going for the best.  
"Yes, but I feel like I should't have done it. I'm so sorry. Please, Harry...believe me..." Louis lowers his voice and looks down.  
He's not sorry at all. No matter what, he would have fucked Harry, if only he wasn't asleep.  
"Lou...it's okay. Don't be sorry, it's okay. I'm telling you! You didn't do anything wrong, you're my...uhm...boyfriend..." Harry smiles a little.   
Louis is his boyfriend.  
Louis likes him.  
Harry can't help it but smile.  
He feels like a twelve year old boy, but he's never been in a relationship before and he's really glad now he finally has a boyfriend -and he's lovely.  
Louis looks at Harry, "You sure? You forgive me?"  
"I don't have to. It was good, now that I think about it. I told you, I was just scared..."  
Louis fakes a smile, and Harry misses another heartbeat.  
Louis is a pro when he has to be fake, since he's fake all the time.  
"Thank you. I was scared I could have lost you. I swear I didn't sleep at all 'cause I thought about you with someone else and...I just couldn't sleep." says Louis, and Harry feels extremely sorry for him.  
"Don't think about it. I'm yours." Harry admits sheepishly.  
Louis kisses Harry's cheek, "You are."  
When Louis sits properly on his seat, Harry unzips his jeans, and Louis looks confused at Harry.  
He's actually confused.  
"Baby, what are you doing?" asks Louis.  
"Wanna make you happy." says Harry, and Louis internally smirks.  
"I'm happy with you here with me, by my side."   
Harry looks at him.  
"But I want you to be super happy."   
Harry seems a baby, even because of the way he's talking, and Louis' doing his best not to rip off Harry's clothes and fuck him right now.  
"You're the best little boy I could ever ask for." says Louis, leaning over Harry and kissing him on the lips.  
Harry smiles at that.   
Louis zips Harry's jeans up, and he starts the engine.   
"Now, let's go to our park, yeah?"  
Harry smiles, showing his dimples, and nods, thinking about the park he and Louis went on their fist date.  
He can't wait.

"Babe." Louis whispers.  
Harry looks at Louis.  
"Tell me something about yourself."  
Harry can't help it but smile, "You want to know something about me?"   
"Yeah, of course. You're my boy." Louis says, kissing Harry's nose.  
So, is Harry dreaming?  
Again?  
"Uhm...okay. Well...I think you're cute, and...then...I like singing...and..."  
This is the second time Louis wants to know something about Harry, and he can't believe it.  
"Why don't you sing for me?"  
Harry was relieved Louis stopped him 'cause he's embarassed and he's sweating and doesn't know what else to say, but now he's feeling even more awkward.  
So he blushes.  
"No. I mean, I like singing, but it doesn't mean I'm good at it." Harry looks down.  
They're on the field and Harry's sitting on Louis' lap, and he's so innocent Louis -guess what- just wants to touch him everywhere.  
In fact he's touching his butt, and Harry likes it 'cause it's not too much, it's a delicate touch.   
"Now, look at me." Louis says, and Harry looks back at Louis.  
Louis' eyes are so beautiful they make Harry's eyes melt.  
"Did someone tell you that you can't sing?"   
Harry shakes his head.  
"So, why are you saying you're not good at it? I bet you're amazing."  
"Uhm...no, I don't think so..." Harry whispers.  
"Want you to sing for me. Please?"  
Louis' voice is so sweet and soft Harry actually thinks about what would happen if he sang something for his boyfriend.  
It wouldn't be that bad, would it?  
"Don't know what...I mean...I don't know..." says Harry, looking down again.  
"If you sing for me..." Louis stops for a couple of seconds, making Harry looks back at him, "I'll kiss you everywhere. I actually want to kiss you till you beg me to stop. And I don't think you'd beg for me to stop, now would you?" says Louis, and then starts kissing Harry's neck.  
Harry closes his eyes, and a mixture of feelings overwhelm him.  
It's like Louis' lips are making him feel better and relaxed, but on the other hand his heartbeat is getting faster and he's having trouble on breathing correctly, as always.  
However, he tilts his head to the side and enjoys Louis' lips on his neck.   
It's one of the best things he's ever felt.  
Harry suddenly remembers Louis' told him something, and tries to find the right words.  
"And...uhm...what if you just kiss me? Like, you can kiss me even without having me singing, you know..."  
Louis chuckles and bites Harry's sensitive area, making him twitch slightly.  
"Well, yeah, of course. But, you know, I'd really apprecciate it if you sang for me. Really." Louis kisses Harry's collarbones and keeps caressing his bum.  
"Mh...then...I can make an exception?" says Harry unsure.  
Louis fakes a smile and looks at Harry, "Thank you. My ears are ready to hear you singing. Oh, and they're ready to hear you moaning, too, but we can save that for later." says Louis with a smirk, and Harry -of course- blushes.  
"Lou!" Harry jokingly slaps Louis' chest, and then Louis slaps his bum, making Harry jump a little and blush even more.  
"Stop!" Harry exclaims, and Louis chuckles again.  
"You're adorable." he says, looking at the green-eyed boy.  
"Uhm..."  
"So? Didn't I tell you my ears are ready to hear you..."  
Harry puts a hand on Louis mouth, shutting him up, and Louis licks his palm.  
Harry removes his hand off him and cleans it up on his jeans, "Don't lick my hand!"  
Louis can't help it but chuckle, "Guess I'll just lick your dick."  
Harry's cheek are still red, this is why he didn't blush.  
Or maybe he blushed but it wasn't that noticeable since his cheeks are almost purple.  
He's sweating, yeah, and feeling embarassed, and feeling a little bit horny, and his heart is going to die if Louis keeps acting like that.  
The worst part of it, is that he likes this situation.  
Louis' literally enjoying the moment, 'cause Harry's actually cute and when he's embarassed he's funny.  
So Louis doesn't really has to fake his smiles, for this time.  
"Are you done? Do you want me to die for awkwardness?" asks Harry, crossing his arms.  
"Alright, yeah, I'm done. I mean, no, I'm waiting for the song." Louis puts his hands on Harry's back and run them on it, occasionally brushing them on his bum.  
"Now? Right here?" asks Harry, and Louis nods.  
"Yeah, where's the problem?"  
"No way! I'm not singing in front of everyone." says Harry, and Louis thinks his seriousness is cute.  
Cute and sexy, of course.  
Louis needs to fuck Harry so bad he's having trouble on thinking rationally.  
"I'm kissing you and touching your little bum in front of everyone, you can sing for me, too, even if there are other people around."  
Harry looks around him, and notices there aren't too many people.  
But there still are some.  
"Uhm...I can try...singing something for you...uhm...later? When we're at your place." says Harry innocently, and Louis internally smirks.  
See? Harry's so easy to manipulate, Louis didn't even imply going to his place.  
"Oh? So you want to come over, even though I didn't invite you?" asks Louis, getting closer to Harry's lips.  
"Uhm...y-yeah, 'cause you like it when I'm at your place. And...me too..." Harry manages to say, and Louis smirks.  
"Yeah, maybe I do, maybe I don't. Who knows?"   
And then he kisses Harry, and there's no need to say this is when their snogging session starts.

So, when the two boys arrived at Louis', Harry had to go home 'cause her mother wanted him to do his homework, and that means Harry couldn't sing for Louis.  
And Harry's glad.  
However, he still has to sing, and Louis won't give up that easily.  
It's not that Louis wants to hear Harry sing, but he has to make him think he cares, hasn't he?  
And when he hears some knocks at his door and Louis heads to it and opens it, he's as surprised as glad to see Brian arrived at his place.  
He was supposed to do stuff with Harry, but since Harry isn't available for this evening he thought Brian would have been.  
And he was right.  
"Hi, babe." says Brian, smirking right when he sees Louis.  
Oh, yeah, Louis is just wearing boxers, and Brian is ready to be fucked.  
"Hey, darling." Louis smirks back at him, closing the door, and Brian's already taking his clothes off.  
Louis stares at his body once that Brian tosses his t-shirt on the floor.  
"How are you, babe?" asks Brian, while removing his belt.  
"Well, I'm fine. As long as I get to look at those abs of yours, I'm totally fine."  
Brian chuckles slightly and looks at Louis, tracing his abs with a finger.  
"You like them, mh?" asks Brian, already knowing the answer.  
He wants to hear Louis saying it.  
"Love them." Louis gets closer to Brian and goes down on his knees.  
He touches his lower abs and the 'V' and then he slowly licks them.  
"Mh...yeah. You know, I like yours." states Brian, Louis looks up at him, meeting his gaze.  
"You like mine? That's all?" Louis asks, and then licks Brian's abs again, still looking at him.  
Brian almost moans at that.  
"I mean, yeah...they're sexy, but can't compete with mine. Sorry not sorry, babe."  
"Mh, guess you're right."  
And Louis suddenly takes Brian's jeans and boxers off, then looks at his erection.  
"Shit." Louis mutters, and right when he tries to do something else, Brian stops him.  
"Want to suck you off. Please," he kneels down, "grab my hair and fuck my mouth."  
Louis doesn't need to hear him twice.  
He quickly gets up and takes his boxers off, then grabs Brian's hair and waits for the boy to open his mouth.  
The thing is, after a couple of minutes that Louis' fucking Brian's mouth, the doorbell rings again, and Louis opens his eyes and stops his moves.  
Brian still looks at him, and when they hear the doorbell again, Louis pulls out and puts his boxer back on.  
"Who the fuck..."  
Louis interrupts Brian, "I think it's my mother. Now, go in my bedroom and wait there for me. Bring these clothes with you. Is it clear?"   
Brian nods and suddenly gets up taking all of the clothes, then goes upstairs and heads to Louis' bedroom.  
Louis knows it's not his mother at the door, she's working right now, so he's okay just wearing boxers.  
And when Louis opens the door and sees Harry, he already has an excuse to tell him.  
"Hey, baby," Louis fakes a smile, looking at Harry, "you miss me already, don't you?"  
Harry looks at his body and slightly blushes, "Uhm...oh...yeah...and..." he looks back at Louis' face, "I forgot my phone in here...uhm...can I look for it?"  
Louis opens the door wider and lets Harry enter his flat.  
"No need to look for it, it's in the kitchen. Saw it when I got home but didn't know how to tell you." Louis heads to the kitchen and Harry follows him, looking at his butt for a moment.  
Well, maybe for a couple of moments.  
"Oh...okay..."  
Shit, Louis' arse in those boxers.  
The two of them enter the kitchen and Louis takes Harry's phone from the table and hands it to him.  
"Guess you like it when I kiss you on the table, since you forgot your phone on it?" Louis asks with a smirk, and Harry takes the phone.  
"Uhm...yeah...thanks..."  
Louis kisses his curls.  
"Lou...can I ask you something?"  
Louis caresses Harry's hair, "Yep, sure."  
"Uhm...why...I mean...you're hard and...well...yeah...I mean...you need some help with it?" asks Harry, and his cheeks are red again.  
Louis smiles, "I was thinking about you and that is it. But I don't want you to take care of it, really. I suppose you came here with someone, didn't you?"  
Harry nods, "Ehm...yeah, my mother's waiting for me..."  
Louis fakes a pout, and Harry thinks he's so cute it hurts his heart.  
"Alright, I was expecting it anyways. But thank you, baby. Always so good for me."  
Harry smiles and kisses Louis' lips.  
"Okay, see you tomorrow then. But please don't watch porno if you need to come. Just...you know...think about me." Harry blushes again, and runs towards the door.  
Louis chuckles, 'cause Harry really is funny, and then follows the boy.  
"I promise I'll keep thinking about you. That's the only way I can come, you know." says Louis, smirking.  
"Bye!" Harry exclaims, opening the door and quickly going back to his mother.   
He's too embarassed and couldn't look at Louis anymore.  
And while Harry's mother's scolding him 'cause 'it's too early to go to your boyfriend's house', Brian's giving Louis a blowjob, and Louis can't help it but think about Harry instead of the boy who's sucking him off when he comes.  
Well, he told Harry he would have thought about him, didn't he?


	29. February 10th, 2011

When Harry gets home after school, he thinks it's not a good thing his mother is there, too.  
In fact right when he enters the house and says hi to her, she calls for him from the kitchen, and Harry sighs, entering the kitchen.  
He didn't want to, but had to.  
"Hi, mum." Harry says again, and Anne looks at him.  
"Harry, sit down." she points at the table and sits on a chair beside it.  
Harry sits down near his mother, and he knows he'll regret it, but he can't escape her when she's angry or something like that.  
She seems to be angry and concerned, what a dangerous mood - especially for parents.  
"Look at me, Harry." Anne says, slightly lowering her voice to be less intimidating.  
She knows Harry easily gets scared when someone talks to him in certain ways, and she doesn't want to freak his son out.  
Harry looks at her, a bit hesitant.  
He doesn't want to have this conversation, not right now.  
Also, Gemma -his sister- is upstairs and she could get in the kitchen whenever she wants to.  
"I thought you and your boyfriend were at a park, yesterday. That's what you told me, after all."  
Harry opens his mouth to say something, but Anne keeps talking.  
"Since your phone was at Louis', I guess you guys were at his place. And that explains why your neck is always full of marks. I didn't want to stress you out with this yesterday, 'cause you were way too happy. And, Harry, you can't believe how that makes me happy. But, now, tell me: are you sure about what you're doing? Do you like it?" asks Anne, now her voice doesn't sound angry at all, just concerned.  
Harry knows his mother's worried about him, and that's why he relaxes a little bit.  
"Yes, mum. Uhm...I mean, he's super duper sweet!" Harry clears his throat 'cause he said just one thing about Louis and he's already getting excited, "And...yeah...I told you, he's cute, and caring, and he likes me. I'm so happy, mum."  
Anne can't help it but smiles a little seeing her son like that.  
She's never seen him that happy before.  
"Okay, honey, but I want you to calm down. I love seeing you like that, but, please, pay attention. You shouldn't be so happy just because of someone. I think it's too early, you know? I don't want you to be sad afterwards." says Anne.  
"It's okay, mum. I mean, Louis told me he takes our relationship very seriously, and I do, too."  
"Oh, so his name's Louis."  
Harry nods, "Mum, don't worry, he's really trusty."  
"Harry, wait a moment, how can you be sure about it?" Anne asks, still concerned about his son.  
"I know him for a while now." says Harry, 'cause a couple of weeks are a while, aren't they?  
Also, they texted on kik for months.  
"How long have you guys been seeing each other?"  
"It's a while, I told you. Like, for weeks."  
Harry doesn't even know what he's saying to be honest, he's tired and wants to go to sleep.  
"And how old he is?"  
Harry thinks about it for a moment, "He's...18."  
Anne seems to be back with the concerned/angry mood.  
"What? 18?"  
Harry nods.  
Again, he doesn't want to have this conversation.  
"Harry."  
"Mum, listen, he's not a bad person. His age doesn't define him, and you know it. Please, can we talk about it later? I'm tired." says Harry, and Anne looks at him.  
"Did you have sex with him?"  
Harry blushes and quickly shakes his head no.  
"Are you sure?"   
"Yes, mum, I'm sure. Can I go, now?" Harry can't stand it anymore.  
"Don't have sex with him for now, okay? I want you to know the things you do and to be aware of them all. You may think you're sure about it, that you want it, but it's not like that. It's never like that, Harry." says Anne, and Harry doesn't even think about it.  
"Sure, mom. Don't worry. Please, I'm tired..."  
"You can go, but I want to know more about you and him. And I want to know him." states Anne, and Harry nods, getting up.  
"Of course."   
Harry goes to his room, and lazily takes his clothes off.   
He doesn't even check his phone when he lays on his bed and pulls the covers up over his body, 'cause he falls asleep.

"Harry? C'mon, honey, dinner's ready."   
Harry wakes up as his mother caresses his curls.  
"Mh...what?"   
"Dinner's ready. Get up or Gemma will end up eating your dinner, too." says his mother, and Harry opens his eyes.  
"No way." says Harry, getting up and almost falling off the ground.  
Anne smiles at him and slightly grabs Harry's arm to steady him, "Pay attention, yeah?"  
"Mh...yeah, okay. I'll be downstairs in a minute." says Harry, and his mother nods.  
"Oh, and Louis called twice. On your phone. Don't worry, I just turned the ringtone off so that you wouldn't wake up." says Anne, and Harry smiles.  
"Okay, thanks mum."  
Harry calls Louis back right when his mother leaves, and Louis picks up the phone after a couple of seconds.  
"Babe. How are you?" it's the first thing Louis says, and Harry smiles.  
"I'm fine...mh...thanks, and you?"  
"Shit, your voice. Were you sleeping?" asks Louis, Harry keeps smiling.  
"Yep, just woke up."  
"Want to hear your voice like that more often. Oh, and, yeah, I'm fine, too. Especially now that I can hear your voice, to be honest."  
Harry slighlty chuckles, "Glad you like it. How was work?"  
"As usual. Actually, I'm getting fed up with it." says Louis, and Harry puts some clothes on.  
"Why that?"  
"I don't know, there are a lot of people but there's no lovely Harry in there, and I want you to be there. So it's boring." states Louis, and Harry smiles again.  
"Miss you." says Harry, carefully.  
"Baby, me too. Can I pick you up at school, tomorrow?" asks Louis, and Harry's already excited at the idea.  
"Mh...yeah, okay...and...dinner's ready, so..."  
"Oh, you want to invite me for dinner? That's cute, but I already ate something before." says jokingly Louis, and Harry for a moment thought he was being serious.  
"Mh, alright, as you prefer."  
Louis chuckles, "Bye, baby. Have a good dinner."  
"Bye, Lou..."  
And so Harry hangs up and goes downstair, still thinking about Louis.  
He thinks about Louis till he falls asleep that night, and Harry's truly happy.  
Louis makes Harry truly happy.

\- the following day -

Harry doesn't really know what's happening right now.  
He's trying to get used to Louis' hands all over his body, but it's not that easy.  
This is why everytime Louis brushes his fingers on Harry, the curly-headed boy shivers.  
And Louis loves seeing Harry shivering and craving for his touch.  
Harry's so little underneath Louis, he's so vulnerable and innocent, Louis can't help it but touch every single inch of Harry's skin, especially now that Harry's completely naked.  
So Louis spreads Harry's thighs and looks at his face for a moment, then he bends down and spreads apart his butt cheeks, making Harry whine.  
"W-what are you doing?" asks carefully Harry, but Louis stays silent.  
When Louis slowly licks Harry's entrance, that's when Harry instinctively raises his hips up, and Louis smirks.  
"Shh..." Louis whispers, and shoves his tongue into Harry, moving it in and out.  
Harry doesn't know what Louis is doing, but he already loves it.  
In fact he moans and squeezes his eyes shut, "F-feels so good..."  
Louis smirks even more and keeps moving his tongue, changing angle once in a while to find Harry's spot.  
He loves the way Harry's moaning.  
When he adds two fingers -and keeps moving his tongue inside Harry- and pushes them all the way in, Harry's already a mess and Louis just wants to properly look at him, but he's occupied on making him come, so he can see Harry just a little bit.  
Harry keeps moaning and moving his hips with Louis' movements, and when Louis finds his spot, he moans even more and tends his muscles.  
Louis loves it when Harry tenses up, 'cause his little hole is all clenched around his fingers -and tongue- and Louis finds it incredibly hot.  
"Lou...what..."   
Louis can tell Harry's confused, maybe he has to get used to all this overwhelming situation.  
Either way, Louis keeps fucking Harry with his fingers, his mouth is now wrapped around Harry's dick, going up and down on it.  
Louis sucks at Harry's dick, sometimes he reaches for his balls and plays with them, then turns back to his tip and takes all of his cock in his mouth.  
And Harry's so overwhelmed he doesn't even feel embarassed to be naked in front of Louis anymore.  
Once that Louis adds another finger and hits Harry's spot one more time, the boy underneath him come in his mouth crying out, and Louis swallows his come, then he pulls out and looks at him.  
He's never seen anything like that before.  
Of course he saw a lot of people come, but Harry's different.  
Harry's still moaning, even if just a little, and his body's shaking as a little leaf in between a storm, and his eyes are still shut, his little fists are clenched around the sheets, and his hole -red and swollen- is all stretched out because of Louis.  
Louis is so used to be around fake people -almost as fake as him-   
that when he looks at Harry and sees him like that, while he actually feels good, his dick craves for him even more.  
"Baby." Louis whispers, rubbing a hand on Harry's dick.  
"Uhm...Lou..." Harry shivers, then opens his eyes to look at Louis.  
Louis makes him feel so good, so relaxed, in a state of mind so peaceful Harry doesn't know how to thank him.  
Should he give Louis more blowjobs?   
He's still a beginner with them, but he wants to be good for Louis.  
"So beautiful." Louis kisses Harry's neck, then his cheeks and, finally, his mouth.  
"Mh..." Harry kisses Louis back, both of them using their tongues now.  
Louis starts stroking Harry's dick and it takes a couple of seconds before Harry's hard again, and Harry's heavy breaths are an indicator, too.  
Louis can't wait anymore, and Harry is in a state of bliss and all he can do is moan and think about Louis.  
"Baby?" Louis pulls out and looks at the green-eyed boy.  
Harry opens his eyes to look at him, a moan escapes his lips due to the fact Louis' strocking his dick faster.  
And Harry can't blush, 'cause his cheeks are already red.  
"Make love with me?" Louis asks, and Harry stops moaning for a moment, then moans again when Louis traces his tip with his thumb.  
"Uhm...why? Make...love?" asks Harry, more overwhelmed than usual.  
"Wanna love you, make you feel good, hear you screaming for me." whispers Louis, sliding his hand from Harry's dick to his hole, gently brushing his fingers on it.  
"Do you want to? Do you want me, too?"  
Harry looks at him, unsure.  
Now, this situation is different than that time Louis asked him to fuck.  
Now he sais he wants to make love.  
Why? Harry's confused.  
Does Louis love him?  
What about Harry?  
Is Louis serious?  
Louis slides a finger inside Harry, and adds two other fingers, in the following minutes.  
Harry still doesn't know what to do.  
But, he wants to make Louis happy.  
Also, aren't two people in a relationship supposed to have sex?  
He should do it, too.  
"Lou...? Why did you changed your mind?"  
"Mh?" Louis scissors his fingers into Harry.  
"Mh...last time...you told me you wanted to fuck me, and now...n-now you wanna make love?"  
"Well...I was scared you'd have taken all of this kind of scary. Maybe it'd have been too serious for you, I don't know." says Louis, looking concerned, and Harry thinks about it for a moment.  
"You serious?" asks Harry, still unsure about everything.  
Louis looks at him and removes his fingers.  
"Harry, I told you our relationship really is serious to me. I didn't have anyone so little and lovely like you, and I don't want to mess things up. I care about all of this. It's just, I can't control my dick when I'm around you. Wish I could." says Louis, and Harry feels relieved.  
He can trust Louis, right?  
So if he said those things then he means them.  
Doesn't he?  
"I don't know, Harry. I just want to make you mine. I want it so bad. It's not just about my dick and yours, it's the fact we can love each other."  
That makes Harry thinks.  
Louis is right, it's not just about their dicks.  
They can love each other?   
So that means Louis really is taking their relationship with seriousness.  
Harry smiles thinking about that.  
Both Harry and Louis are staring in each other's eyes, and Harry thinks he can do it.  
He can have sex.  
Louis reassured him, and now he feels better.  
He feels less scared, and he wants Louis to be happy because of him.  
This is why Harry puts his hands on Louis' shoulders and blushes.  
Louis smirks turning it in a smile, and then rubs his dick on Harry's.  
"Mh...but...uhm...no condom?" asks Harry, getting anxious.  
How is this going to end up?  
Will his arse change?  
What's going to happen?  
Can he trust Louis?  
Louis absolutely can thrust in Harry.  
"I'm clean. Checked it the other day."  
Harry sighs and takes a deep shaky breath.  
"Please, don't hurt me..." says Harry with a shaky voice, and Louis has to admit that for a moment he felt sorry for Harry.  
But then he didn't think about him anymore and just focused on their dicks, so it's all good again.  
"Baby, what are you talking about? I'd never hurt you." says Louis, kissing his neck, and Harry relaxes a little bit.  
Now Louis just has to put his cock in Harry's hole, that's it.  
"I want you to relax and not to be all tensed up. I know you're good. My good boy, aren't you?"  
Harry nods and relaxes a bit more, 'cause yes, he's Louis' good boy, and he has to be perfect for him.  
So he takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around Louis' neck.  
"Shit, forgot the lube." mutters Louis.  
Harry tenses up again, and Louis sighs.  
"Sorry, babe. Wait a second." Louis kisses Harry's curls and then gets up, heading for his bedside table and opening a drawer.  
When he looks inside it and doesn't find the lube, he thinks about the last time he used it, and it was in the bathroom.  
So he heads to it, finds the lube and goes back to Harry, that stayed silent on Louis' bed, thinking about his life.   
Should he have sex with Louis?  
Nick told him not to, his mother told him the same thing, so why is he still naked, waiting for Louis and the lube?  
But when Louis positions himself all over him, then uses a hand to open the bottle and takes some lube, looking at Harry, the green-eyed boy forgets about Nick and his mother, and focuses on Louis.  
He can trust him.  
Louis cares about him, it's okay.  
"I'll make you feel so good, baby." Louis whispers to him, spreading the lube all over Harry's hole and on his own dick.  
"So good, baby. And you gonna be good for me?"   
Harry nods, his eyes closed 'cause Louis' fingers are now inside him to stretch him out a little bit more, and his breaths are heavy again.  
"Lou..." Harry opens his legs as much as he can, and Louis kisses his neck, occasionally sucking and biting it.  
Harry's already moaning.  
And when Louis moves his fingers faster and sucks on Harry's neck, he quickly removes his fingers and slides his dick into Harry.  
Oh, finally, thinks Louis, closing his eyes.  
Harry suddendly opens his eyes and opens his mouth a little, but doesn't say anything, then he looks at Louis.  
"You okay?" Louis asks, opening his eyes and looking at the boy underneath him, and he wants to thrust in Harry so bad he has to close his eyes again to control himself.  
"Mh...yeah..."  
And then Louis pushes his dick up Harry's hole, getting all the way in, and Harry gasps.  
He tenses his muscles instinctively, and takes a deep breath.  
That feels weird, thinks Harry, 'cause he wasn't expecting it to feel so suffocating.  
Louis realizes Harry's not feeling really comfortable, so he kisses his neck and rubs his hand on Harry's dick, making him moan.  
That's when Louis backs off and pushes his dick in Harry's hole for the second time, and the way Harry moaned at that makes Louis moan slightly as well.  
"Shit, baby..."  
Yeah, but Harry wasn't moaning because of the pleasure.  
So Louis shoves his dick in Harry, this time with more pressure, and Harry squeezes his eyes shut and tilts his head back with a little moan.  
It fucking hurts, Harry wants to say, but stays silent.  
His back is all hunced because of the pain and he's trembling like crazy, he can't even think properly and -shit- why do people love sex?  
On the other hand, Louis is trying is best not to fuck him senseless, but it's not easy.  
He has to pretend he cares, so.  
"Baby? You okay?" asks Louis, rubbing two fingers around Harry's nipple.  
Harry nods, even if he wants to cry.  
He doesn't like this situation.  
Louis' dick is too thick, why do people crave for huge dicks?   
He wants Louis to have a little dick.   
Why is his butt hurting so bad?  
What's going to happen to him?  
Louis starts moving faster and pretends Harry's okay, even if he knows it's not like that.  
So he just avoids the thought and thrusts in Harry, making him squeeze his eyes even more and whine.  
Maybe he wasn't ready for 'making love' with Louis.  
"So thight, baby," Louis moans, and Harry thinks about him, and about his moans, about the way Louis called him.  
Harry actually relaxes a little bit.  
He wants to make Louis happy, right?   
So he tries to relax his muscles, and Louis kisses his lips.  
Louis can feel that Harry has relaxed, even if just a little bit.  
"That's my good boy."   
Harry looks at him and finds Louis already looking at him.  
"A-am I...good...enough?" asks Harry, his voice shaking.  
"Baby, of course. So good for me it makes me so proud of you." Louis kisses Harry's cheeks, making him smile a little.  
Harry actually feels better now.  
Louis always makes him feel better.  
He takes a deep breath.  
"You sure you're okay?" Louis slows down.  
Harry nods, and Louis smiles at him.  
"So lucky to have you." says Louis, and then he thrusts into Harry changing the angle, making him moan.  
Wait, this time it was nice, Harry thinks, and he's actually surprised.   
He thought it was all going to be a nightmare.  
Of course, Harry's still hurting, but he felt something different addictionally to the pain.  
And when Louis thrusts in him again, Harry moans again, louder.  
Shit, that felt good.  
"You like it here?" asks Louis, thrusting in Harry hard.  
Harry moans louder and sticks his fingers in Louis' shoulder, making him smirk.  
"Guess I found your little spot."  
Harry doesn't know what Louis is saying, but when the older boy thrusts in his hole even faster he doesn't care anymore.  
Harry doesn't understand why he was hurting so bad he thought he could faint, and now the pleasure he's experiencing is taking his breath away.  
And when Harry starts moaning loudly at each thrust, Louis understand his boy's close, and he is too.  
"Gonna make you come and feel so good, baby..." whispers Louis, biting Harry's neck and thrusting hard into him.  
"Yeah...please..." whispers Harry, and Louis stares for a moment at him.  
His hips are slightly raised, his head is tilted back into the pillow, his eyes shut and his neck is a bruise itself.  
So Louis gives a final thrust into Harry so fucking hard that it makes both of them come.  
Louis relaxes his muscles, Harry as well, and tries not to put weight on him.  
He loves how tight Harry is.  
After a minute or so, Louis pulls out and lays beside Harry, his eyes still closed and his breath still a little bit faster than usual.  
Harry's feeling good and weird at the same time, and the way his hole is pulsing is really confusing, but he kind of likes it.  
And Louis was amazing.  
He loved the way Louis took care of him.  
"Mh...L-lou?" Harry asks, his voice cracks and Louis smirks, looking at him.  
"Yeah?"  
"Uhm...Is it...normal...that I'm...p-pulsing?"  
Louis positions himself over Harry again, looking at him, and then puts two fingers in his hole, making Harry's body tremble.  
Harry actually shaked from head to toe, and Louis loves it.   
He loves seeing the way Harry reacts to his touch.  
"It's normal, don't worry. How is my baby feeling?" Louis asks sweetly, making Harry smile.  
"Mh...good..."  
Harry closes his eyes when Louis slides two fingers inside his hole and scissors them a bit, his body's trembling.  
"That's nice, babe." Louis removes his fingers and looks at them.  
"Want you to suck them." says Louis, and Harry opens his eyes and looks at him, then at his fingers covered up by Louis' come.  
Harry blushes, "Was...that..inside me?"  
Louis smirks 'cause Harry's voice is amazing after he shouted so much, and he nods.  
"Don't you wanna have my come in your mouth?"   
Harry looks at him and opens his mouth, and Louis puts his fingers in there.  
"Good boy. You're my good boy."   
Harry nods and sucks on Louis' fingers looking at him with his cheeks red and his watery eyes, then Louis removes them and kisses Harry's lips in an attempt to seem a sweet boyfriend.  
"I think we need a shower, yeah?"  
Harry nods, smiling, and for a moment Louis feels guilty.  
Just for a moment, though.


	30. February 11th, 2011

Harry is at Nick's place at the moment to study something about a math test they're having in three days, but his mind is too focused on Louis to understand what math is.  
He can't help it but think about his boyfriend and everything that had happened the day before, over and over again.  
This is why Harry is relieved when Nick tells him that maybe they should take a break (they've been studying for a while (Nick's been studying for a while).  
And now that Harry thinks again about the day before, Louis was so kind with him, they took a shower together right after they 'made love' and it was the cutest thing ever.  
"Harry?"  
Harry looks at Nick, still thinking about Louis.  
"Mh? What?" he's confused.  
"Just wanted to know why you're acting so weird. Is everything okay?" asks Nick, looking at him.  
Harry smiles and nods at the same time, then thinks about Louis again.  
Nick keeps looking at him.  
"Why are you wearing this?" he asks, pointing at Harry's turtleneck jumper.  
Harry blushes.  
Nick rolls his eyes.  
"Harry...please, tell me you're being careful. Please."  
Harry looks at Nick, "Yep, sure."  
Says Harry, and he doesn't even know what Nick asked him -or told him.  
"Harry..."  
Harry furrows his eyebrows.  
"Nick, why are you so worried? Let me live my life. We already talked about this." says Harry, and Nick sighs.  
"I know, I'm just trying to warn you. Too late, I know."  
Harry chuckles, "Niick! Don't worry, I'm okay!" exclaims Harry happily, but that doesn't make Nick change his mind.  
"Promise me, that you won't have sex with Louis. At least not now." says Nick, and Harry writes something on his book ('Louis', and a couple of hearts, too).  
"Nick, of course, don't worry. I told you."  
Nick's still looking at Harry, 'cause he doesn't believe him.  
"Harry, don't tell me-"  
Brian quickly rushes in Nick's room, looking around and interrupting Nick, "Mate, where's my black shirt?" asks Brian, shirtless.  
Harry looks at him, then at his abs, then he looks at his book and blushes, hoping nobody noticed.  
It's weird how Harry feels comfortable with Nick, but when there are other guys -especially if they're hot- he's all awkward and insecure.  
In fact he knew he was gay even before meeting Louis, but he didn't want to accept it, and pretended he wasn't.  
Then he just gave up, and now it's easier, to be honest.  
He takes it easier.  
"You have plenty of them, you idiot." says Nick, and Brian walks in the room to look for his shirt.  
He looks at Harry, and smiles, then he ruffles his hair, "Hi, bunny"  
Well, yes, Brian and Harry kind of know each other -Harry often is at Nick's place, at least he used to be- and Harry doesn't know why Brian calls him that, but he knows it's embarassing.  
This is why he blushes again, "Uhm, hi..."  
Brian keeps looking for his shirt, even if he's in Nick's room, and Nick tries to finish his sentence -the one he was telling to Harry-, but then Louis enters the room.  
What?  
"Did you find it?" Louis asks, and then looks at Nick and Harry.  
Oh.  
He kind of had forgotten that this is Nick's place, too.  
But, Louis? What is he doing here?  
Alright, Harry's even more excited.  
"Hey, baby. What are you doing here?" Louis softens his voice, Brian looks at him confused, then looks at Harry, and then looks back at Louis.  
And of course he's confused, but pretends everything's okay.  
Nick looks at Louis, then at Brian, and then looks back at Louis.  
"I was just...studying. With Nick." Harry says, looking down 'cause Louis' staring at him and they're not the only people in the room, so he feels embarassed.  
Louis fakes a smile and caresses Harry's hair, making Harry look at him.  
"What about you?" asks the curly-headed boy.  
Louis looks at Nick for a moment, who was suspiciously looking at him, then looks back at Harry, "Well, I was just, you know, helping Brian with his car. It doesn't work that well so we were figuring out what's wrong with it. He's a friend of mine." says Louis, and Harry nods.  
"Oh...okay...didn't know you knew him." says Harry, and Louis raises his eyebrows in surprise.  
"You do?"  
Harry nods, "Mh, I mean, I know his name..."  
Louis chuckles and leans over Harry to give him a peck on the lips.  
"I found it!" exclaims Brian, and everyone looks at him.  
"That's mine, Brian." says Nick, "And stop touching my clothes with your dirty hands."  
Brian pouts, and Louis looks at him.  
"Oh, and, Louis, why didn't you tell me anything about Harry?" asks Brian, faking an innocent voice.  
Louis looks at Harry and then back at Brian.  
"Oh, well, didn't know you knew him." says Louis.  
"And, who is he? I mean, you guys seem to get on well, you know." says Brian with a challenging look in his eyes.  
"He's my boyfriend, can't you tell?"  
Harry looks at Louis and thinks about how amazing his eyes are, while Nick looks at both Louis and Brian, with a raised eyebrow.  
Brian smiles, "Oh, you have a boyfriend? Didn't think so."  
Brian's still looking at Louis.  
"Well, yeah, now you know it." states Louis, and Brian smiles again.  
"Yeah, right. Harry, you really disappointed me. I mean, I thought we were married?" Brian tries not to think about what he just found out.  
He's fucking mad at Louis.  
Harry looks down, "Mh..."  
"Hey, he was just kidding, don't worry." says reassuringly Louis, and Nick can't stay silent anymore.  
"Wait a moment, before the two of you came here, I was trying to say something to Harry. So, can I fucking talk to him without anyone else, mh? Thank you." Nick says, already getting pissed off because of the way Brian and Louis are looking at each other.  
He doesn't know they are fuck buddies, but he's suspecting something.  
And he doesn't like it, whatever it is.  
Louis looks at Harry and smirks, "Yeah, of course. Just wanted to ask Harry something, though." says Louis, making Harry look up at him.  
"I mean, why are you covering that nice neck of yours? It's not that, I dunno, it's covered up by all the hickeys I gave you yesterday." says Louis, making Harry blush like crazy.  
"Shut up!" Harry says, trying to seem intimidating, but Louis just chuckles.  
"My baby." he whispers in his ear and then kisses his nose after he got closer to him.  
Harry looks down, smiling.  
"Get the fuck out." says Nick, so Louis and Brian leave the room, and Nick and Harry can finally have their talk.  
"How the fuck old is he?" asks Brian, once that he's in the kitchen with Louis.  
"Ah, I think something like sixteen." says Louis, and Brian wants to punch him right in the dick.  
"Are you fucking serious, Louis?!" Brian asks, raising his voice.  
"Yeah, why?" Louis doesn't understand why Brian is so nervous.  
"The fuck?!" Brian he's going to punch him. That's it.  
"Babe, what's wrong?" asks Louis, touching Brian's arms and trying to calm him down.  
Harry doesn't need to hear their conversation.  
Oh, and Nick neither.  
Brian suddenly steps aside and looks at Louis.  
"Don't fucking touch me and don't call me that! Louis, he's fucking sixteen, for fuck's sake!" Brian lowers his voice a little, but he manages keep it 'angry'.  
Louis furrows his eyebrows, "So?"  
Brian takes a deep breath, "So, does he even know what a dildo is?" he asks, his voice lowering.  
"Brian, people know about everything about sex since they're 10, c'mon."  
"What about him, mh?" asks Brian, still angry.  
"Wait. I don't get it. Why the fuck do you care?" Louis gets closer to Brian.  
"Does he know about me and you? I don't think so." says Brian.  
"There's no me and you. And why should I tell him?"  
Brian gets even angrier, "Oh, I don't know"  
Louis thinks about it for a moment, then smirks, "You're jealous." Louis states.  
"I am not. Not at all. I swear." states Brian, and he's serious.  
"Thought we'd already talked about this. Like, we can go with whoever we want. Don't you remember?" asks Louis, and Brian takes a deep breath to calm himself down.  
It doesn't work.  
"I'm not jealous, in fact I know you fuck with other people besides me, and I don't really care. But, I don't like the fact you're using Harry. A 16 year-old boy."  
Louis chuckles, "Why you even care?"  
"I fucking care, 'cause people used to treat me like that, and this is why I ended up with you." says Brian, and Louis' heartbeat speeds up for a couple of seconds.  
'This is why I ended up with you'.  
Why doesn't it sound as good as it should sound?  
It actually seems something really bad.  
Louis clears his throat and fakes a smirk, "So? Aren't you happy?"  
Brian takes another deep breath, "Louis, okay. Your dick is amazing. But that's not the point. Stop using Harry. Please."  
Does Louis has feelings? 'Cause he thought he didn't, but now he's feeling weird and confused, and he can't stop thinking about Harry and the way he acted.  
He's using Harry and that boy didn't do anything to deserve it.  
Is Louis feeling guilty? Really?  
Brian should stop saying shit, Louis thinks.  
"I'm not using anyone." says Louis, and Brian gets closer to him, "Fine. Do whatever you want. But, I don't think you'd like it if someone cheated on you like that. I really don't think so."  
Louis pretends not to hear Brian, and then he looks at his abs.  
"Your abs are amazing, though." says Louis, and Brian punches him in the stomach.  
"The fuck have you just said?!"  
Louis bends a little bit for the pain, he wasn't expecting this, but then he straightens up and looks at Brian, who's looking at him like he's going to kill him.  
"The fuck is wrong with you?" asks Louis, and, shit, Brian's punch still hurts.  
Brian gets closer to Louis and looks into his eyes with rage, then he presses Louis on the wall and almost touch his nose with his own.  
"I was telling you those things about your absolutely wrong relationship with Harry, and the only thing in your mind is my body?" Brian angrily whispers, "With your boyfriend upstairs?"  
Louis tries not to show how torn he's actually feeling -he doesn't even know why- and fakes a smirk.  
"Alright, darling, if you wanted to be the dominant one, you could have said something. But it's not gonna-"  
Brian punches Louis again, making him bend again, this time with a groan.  
"I'm not kidding, Louis." says Brian, and Louis straightens up again and punches Brian in the stomach, but he doesn't seem to get hurt.  
"Why the fuck did you punch me in the first place, mh?" asks Louis.  
That's when they seriously start hitting each other.  
So Brian punches Louis right in the face looking as disgusted as ever, 'cause Louis' acting as a shitty person -and he actually is one- , and Louis tries to react but without results.  
And when Brian keeps punching Louis and Louis can't react anymore, that's when Louis ends up on the floor with Brian on top of him.  
And it's not because they're going to fuck.  
After a little while of Louis and Brian screaming at each other, though, Nick and Harry enter the kitchen to see what's happening in there.  
And when Nick sees Louis and Brian on the floor, he quickly reaches them and grabs Brian from the shoulders, separating him from Louis.  
Harry runs to Louis and looks at his bleeding nose, then he helps him getting up and stares at his face.  
"Lou? What happened?" asks Harry, already anxious.  
Louis takes his hands in his own, and Harry looks at him, confused and worried.  
Louis was going to say something back to Harry, but-  
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Mh?!" asks angrily Nick, and Brian just mutters something to himself.  
Harry notices Brian's mad, despite when he last saw him.  
What happened? He wants to know so bad but he doesn't want to be insolent.  
"He said something about you I didn't like, so I tried to hit him. It didn't turn out good." says Louis, and Brian still wants to punch the shit out of him.  
"What the fuck are you saying, you fucking bastard!" exclaims Brian, and Nick holds him to prevent another fight.  
"All right, now calm the fuck down. Why does Louis look as if he saw a ghost?"  
Brian ignores Nick and looks at Louis.  
"You suck." says Brian, and then leaves the room.  
Louis wanted to say something, again, to react, to say a joke, to do something.  
But he could't.  
He doesn't know why, but his words are stucked in his throat, and he's feeling so weird he wants to scream, to punch something, to cry, or to kiss Harry.  
Yes, he actually wants to kiss Harry.  
So he looks at the little boy beside him, and squeezes his hands in his own.  
Again, he doesn't know why, but he really is feeling like crap.  
And he's never felt like this before.  
Harry looks at him, too, and gets closer to him.  
Does Louis suck?  
Brian wasn't talking about dicks for sure.  
Nick looks at Louis and Harry, and he exits the room or he'll end up punching both of them.  
Harry, because he's an idiot.  
Louis, because not only he's an idiot, but a fuckhead, too.  
"Lou..." says Harry, and something in his voice makes Louis squeeze his hands harder.  
"Don't worry. Can we go home? You want to come with me? Or I can bring you back to your place..."  
Harry sighs.  
He's never seen Louis like that.  
"No, I want to come with you. But...let me...I don't know...clean your face?"  
Louis is actually thinking Harry's cute.  
There are too many things that are wrong with him right now, his thoughts are going out of control.  
He should think about Harry's dick, not about the fact he's cute.  
And Louis actually smiles.  
Like, he smiles for real.  
Should Louis be worried?  
Harry's eyes kind of light up seeing Louis' smile.  
"Thanks, baby. Maybe you can help me with it at my place? I don't want to be here." says Louis, lowering his voice, and Harry nods.  
"Of course. I'm just going to say something to Nick and then we can leave." says Harry, leaving the room and Louis alone.  
So Harry says goodbye to Nick and Brian, Louis just stares in front of him, still in the kitchen.  
He is an horrible person.  
And Harry doesn't deserve him.  
Nobody deserves him.  
That's when a tear slides down his cheek and he just wants to hug Harry. 

 

Harry just finished cleaning Louis' face, and he has to admit it wasn't easy.  
He never did something like that before and he feared he could have hurt Louis, and he was scared to hurt him.  
He'd never hurt Louis, not even a little bit.  
But, yeah, everything went fine, and now Louis' face looks better.  
Well, it has some bruises, but it's not that bad.  
At least, now it's clean.  
"Thank you, baby. I mean it." says Louis, and that may be the first time Louis actually means something he sais to Harry.  
Harry smiles and kisses Louis on the lips for a moment, "No problem, Lou Lou."  
Louis looks at Harry for a couple of second, then he puts his hands on Harry's cheeks and slowly starts kissing him.  
Harry jumps a little and slightly opens his mouth when Louis' tongue gently licks his lower lip, and that's it, they start snogging.  
Harry's so happy right now, Louis' kissing him just the way he loves it, and the kiss is so sweet and Harry feels so beloved and so safe near Louis, he can't help it but relax and enjoy the kiss, letting Louis hold him.  
They both pull apart after a while and look at each other, and Louis caresses Harry's cheeks.  
"You're so cute. So kind with me. You treat me as if I'm the only person worth your life. You don't deserve me, Harry." whispers Louis, still looking at Harry.  
Harry's heartbeat speeds up.  
"You're one of them. And yes, I deserve you. You're amazing. And I love the way you treat me, 'cause I know you act like that just with me, with the others you're not like that. That's cute." says Harry, and Louis seriously wants to cry.  
"Harry, please. It's not like that. I don't deserve you. I'm horrible. Harry..."  
Louis doesn't know what he's saying, but he has to say these things, 'cause it's like he's realizing just now how terrible he was and how shitty he acted.  
And he can't stand the thought.  
Maybe Brian made him realize those things.  
Then Harry kneels down on the floor and unzips Louis jeans, and Louis looks at him.  
"What are you doing?" Louis asks, a bit worried.  
Harry looks at him.  
"Want to make you happy. You're sad. I want you to be happy." says Harry, and- is Louis feeling guilty? For real? Again?  
It's all his fault if Harry's saying things like that.  
It's just his fault.  
"No, Harry, listen...I'm not really in the mood, you know? Thank you, I apprecciate the fact you-  
Harry takes-down Louis boxers and takes his dick in his hand, stroking it.  
When Harry wants to make Louis happy, he just goes for it.  
"Harry, please, you don't know what you're doing. Please, just...stop, okay?"  
Louis doesn't recognize himself in his words, 'cause Harry's going to suck his cock, so why is he complaining?  
"Yes, I do. And I want to see you happy."  
And that's it.  
Harry kisses Louis' tip, then takes it in his mouth.  
And then goes a little bit further.  
Then he goes up and down on it.  
Louis can't stop him.  
Harry's sucking his dick now, Louis just can't stop him.  
"Shit, Harry...." Louis puts a hand on Harry's curls and grasps them in his fingers, and Harry takes Louis' dick a little bit more.  
Louis moans, but he keeps feeling like there's something wrong.  
Harry pulls out for a moment and takes a deep breath, then he takes Louis' dick back in his mouth.  
And, alright, Harry's giving Louis a blowjob, but how many times did Louis do the same thing with Brian, even if he already was in a relationship with Harry?


	31. February 14th, 2011

Louis' still feeling guilty.  
He doesn't know why, he doesn't know how to stop it, so he just pretends he doesn't feel anything.  
That's the only thing he's able to do correctly.  
This is why-  
"A-ah...shit..." Harry moans.  
Yeah, this is why he's fucking Harry.  
This is why Louis' thrusting in Harry as hard as he can, so that he can forget about his thoughts.  
Hopefully he will.  
And Harry's stunning as always, with his lips parted and his eyes shut, his grip on Louis' shoulders and his head tilted back.  
And since this is the second round, Louis suggested to do it in the kitchen.  
So Harry's seated on the table and Louis is in between his legs.  
Fucking him.  
And he loves it.  
He absolutely loves fucking Harry.  
Louis is sure Harry was born to be fucked by him.  
"Baby...lean back for me, yeah?" Louis manages to ask, and Harry doesn't need to hear him twice, leaning back on the table and putting his hands on his own body, near his nipples.  
"You can squeeze them as much as you want, babe...touch them...do whatever you want." says Louis, and Harry follows his advice.  
When Louis takes Harry's ankles in his hands an puts them on his shoulders, he thrusts in Harry's hole harder, Harry lets out a cry and moans loudly right when Louis does it again.  
Yeah, Louis hit his prostate, and Harry wants to look at Louis, he wants to do something, but he actually can't open his eyes because of Louis' thrusts.  
So he screams his name.  
Harry's so fucking loud, Louis just loves everything about him. Everything about his body, that's it. "Yeah, baby...look at you...you like it here, don't ya?" Louis whispers, removing one of Harry's legs from his shoulder, dropping it off, and taking Harry's dick in his hand, stroking it.  
Harry nods, moaning, "Y-yeah...right there...please..."  
Harry moans louder and louder, and Louis keeps fucking him faster.  
The fact one of Harry's legs is not on Louis' shoulder makes everything better, 'cause Louis has never thrusted so deep in Harry and it feel so good Harry can't stop moaning and sweating and screaming.  
Louis is sweating and moaning, too, and the sigh of Harry so desperate and little makes his dick want to come.  
Harry's close too, so there's no need to tell they both come in a matter of time.  
Harry of course cried out when he came, and that made Louis come with a loud moan.  
"Fuck." whispers Louis, and Harry drops his other leg right when Louis slips out his entrance, taking a deep breath.  
Louis looks at his body and leans over it, licking Harry's cum.  
"Uh...Lou..."  
"Love it when you scream my name like that. When you beg me for more, when you moan so loud just for me..." Louis whispers, kissing Harry's dick, making the boy tremble.  
"Lou..."  
When Louis is done, he kisses Harry's torso, his neck, and his lips, making Harry smile.  
"Happy Valentine's Day, love." Louis whispers, and Harry crosses his legs around Louis' hip bones, but then whines a little 'cause his butt hurts.  
Louis smirks and then kisses Harry's lips again, "Oh? Does your little bum hurt?"  
Harry blushes, "Yes!"  
And the way Harry's voice sounded almost got Louis hard again.  
"Yeah? And why that?" asks Louis, amused, and Harry looks at him.  
"I'm not telling you." Harry says firmly, and Louis truly laughs.  
"You're my baby." Louis kisses Harry's lips one more time, then straightens up and caresses Harry's thighs.  
"Yes, I am. And happy Valentine's Day to you, too." says Harry, "Now, could you please stop staring at me? I'm embarassed."  
Louis chuckles, "You just had my dick inside you and you feel embarassed if I stare at you?"  
"Louis!" exclaims Harry, blushing.  
Louis chuckles again, "Okay, okay. How does having a shower with me sound?"  
Harry smiles, "Sounds good."

Louis feels better now.  
He just had to fuck Harry.  
Now he doesn't feel guilty anymore, and he's back with his lies.  
"So, I bought you something." says Louis, and Harry looks at him with curiosity in his eyes.  
"Hold on, baby." Louis kisses Harry's lips and heads to his room.  
He takes the red roses he bought a couple of minutes before Harry arrived at his place, and he goes back to where Harry is, in the living room, seated on the couch.  
When Harry looks at him and then at the roses in his hand, smiling, he doesn't feel guilty at all.  
He actually likes the way Harry's looking at him.  
Wait, what?  
Louis just ignores his thoughts.  
"These are for you. 'Cause you're my baby." says Louis, sitting next to Harry and handing the roses to him.  
Harry silently takes them, blushing, while Louis looks at him, smiling.  
He's so absorbed on looking at Harry that he doesn't even ask himself why is he actually smiling.  
"Thank you, Lou." Harry kisses Louis' lips for a moment, and puts the roses on the coffee table.  
"Thank you so much." Harry says again, and Louis kisses him.  
This is the first time someone gives Harry some roses, and the boy really is excited.  
He's trying not to make Louis realize it, though.  
"Mh," Harry parts his lips and lets Louis' tongue enter his mouth, so that they can start kissing properly.  
Louis gently rubs his hands on Harry's hips, and Harry puts his hands on Louis' shoulders.  
Oh, and he blushes 'cause that reminded him of how they were 'making love' on the kitchen table.  
Harry pulls out after a while and looks at Louis.  
His butt was feeling a little bit uncomfortable, yeah.  
So he moves on the couch, trying to stop the pain, which seems to increase.  
Harry tries not to whine, but doesn't succeed.  
Louis smirks, "What's wrong?"  
Harry blushes and looks down, "Nothing. Everything's okay."  
Louis chuckles and pecks Harry's lips.  
He likes the fact Harry's butt hurts, he's not really used to it.  
"You sure?" asks Louis, and Harry nods.  
Then Harry does something Louis wasn't expecting: he takes a deep breath and sits down Louis' lap, with his legs astride Louis'.  
"My butt doesn't hurt. You're not as good as you think." says Harry firmly, and of course he's just kidding.  
His bum is hurting so much he wants Louis' kisses all over him (it).  
Louis chuckles and puts his hands on Harry's bum, caressing his butt cheeks.  
"So when you were moaning and crying out my name, it wasn't because you were feeling good, right?" asks Louis, teasing.  
And how does Harry react to that? He blushes.  
But he also shakes his head.  
"Absolutely not. It was just to please you." says Harry, and the way he's acting makes Louis smile.  
He's actually smiling.  
Again.  
"So I'm not good enough for you?" asks Louis, rubbing his hands on Harry's legs.  
"Yeah, exactly. You have to improve your techniques if you want to be good enough for me." says Harry, and he doesn't know where he took the courage from to say something like that out loud.  
Louis smirks, "I think you're right. I mean, you're the good boy in here, aren't you? Daddy's good boy?" Louis gets closer to Harry.  
"Uhm...I think I am..." says Harry, his voice cute and sexy as always.  
"So, now, tell me. Who are you?" Louis puts his hands back on Harry's butt.  
"I'm yours. Uhm...your...good boy?" Harry looks down but then Louis squeezes his butt cheeks, making him whine.  
Harry looks back at Louis, squeezing his shoulders slighlty.  
"That's right, baby. My good boy."  
Harry nods.  
"Uhm...Lou...?" Harry lays his head on Louis' shoulder.  
"Yeah?"  
"Uhm...my...bum...hurts..." says Harry, making Louis smirk.  
"Thought I wasn't good enough to make your bum hurt?"  
Harry shakes his head.  
"I was just kidding, and you know it."  
Louis caresses Harry's back, "I know, baby. You'll get used to it, and next time it won't hurt that much." whispers Louis in Harry's ear, leaving a kiss right there.  
Harry sighs at that.  
The two of them stays silent for a while, Louis keeps caressing Harry's body, and he has to admit it's relaxing.  
He never did something like that before.  
Harry has the same opinion as Louis, this is why he falls asleep on his boyfriend, holding his body in his hands.  
Louis closes his eyes, listening to Harry's breaths, and keeps caressing his back, his legs, and his bum.  
Why isn't he getting bored? Why is he actually enjoying all of this?  
Louis doesn't know.  
Honestly, he doesn't even want to know.  
Maybe he already knows why.

 

Harry wakes up on Louis' bed after two hours of sleep.  
He's confused when he looks around him and sees he's in a bedroom, but he recognizes it in a matter of seconds.  
He smiles a little bit thinking about Louis and the fact he carried him here, when he could have left Harry on the couch.  
After a couple of minutes of thinking about Louis, though, Harry gets up and goes downstairs.  
He wants to know where Louis is and what time is it.  
If it's too late his mother will get mad, and he doesn't want it to happen.  
When he gets downstairs and enters the kitchen, there's no sigh of Louis, but in front of him there's a table with a candle on it and other items such as plates and glasses for two people.  
Now, Harry doesn't want to overthink, but-  
All of a sudden he feels Louis' hands on his hips, slightly squeezing them, and he smiles immediately.  
Harry turns back to look at Louis, still smiling, and manages to completely look into his blue eyes, Louis' hands still on him.  
"You like it?" whispers Louis, and Harry nods.  
"Did you...set all of this?" asks Harry, still surprised about what Louis is capable of.  
"It's not that much. And of course, I did it just for you."  
Harry smiles wider and hugs Louis, who hugs him back trying not to show his hesitation.  
"Thank you, Lou Lou." says Harry, pulling out after a few seconds.  
"No problem." Louis smiles slighlty and gets closer to the table.  
Yeah, the table where he fucked Harry a couple of hours before.  
Just the thought of it makes everything better.  
"Have a sit, my dear." says Louis, and Harry does as told, smiling at Louis' tone.  
When Harry looks at the food Louis just put on their plates, he can't help it but chuckle.  
"What? Thought you liked pizza?" says Louis, sitting down on his chair and looking at Harry.  
"Love it as much as I love eyes and...uhm...I mean..."  
Louis tenses up for a moment.  
"It's just, it's...weird...eating pizza with a...candle on a table, but I like it, you know?" Harry tries to pretend he didn't say anything, 'cause he didn't want to say something like that out loud.  
"Wait...what did you say?" asks Louis, trying to figure out if he imagined Harry saying he loves his eyes, or if it actually happened.  
And it's not just what Harry said, it's the way he said it. Louis' starting to think Harry's way too fond of him. He shouldn't care about Harry, but he finds himself thinking about him. Lately, Harry's in Louis' mind too often. "Uhm...I said...that...I mean, this is a weird idea but i like it. And I love pizza." says Harry, still looking at Louis.  
He's sweating like crazy, again.  
"And? You said something else, didn't you?" Louis' sure of it now because of the look on Harry's face.  
"Uhm...that...uhm...I didn't say anything else." says Harry, lowering his voice.  
He's thankful the light is slightly turned off, or else Louis would have seen Harry blushing.  
As if Louis didn't notice anyways.  
"You sure?" asks Louis, and he doesn't even know why he's putting pressure on the boy.  
Harry wants to avoid the subject and all Louis can do is make this situation awkward?  
"Can we just eat, please?" asks Harry, and Louis stares at him for a moment.  
"Sure. And, well, I know it's not the most romantic thing ever, but it's my best." says Louis, before taking a slice of pizza and eating it.  
"It is romantic! Shut up." Harry decided not to think about what he said before and just enjoy the dinner with his boyfriend, so this is what he's doing.  
Louis chuckles, "Alright, alright. And I cooked the pizza all by myself."  
Harry looks at him, surprised, "Did you?"  
Louis chuckles, "No, I was just kidding. You're adorable."  
He feels like saying so actually means something to him, but ignores the thought.  
Harry slightly blushes and looks down at his pizza, eating it.  
"Didn't know you're 17, now." says Louis, looking at Harry and making the boy look at him.  
"When did you find it out?" Harry asks, curious. He didn't say anything to Louis about his birthday 'cause he doesn't really feels comfortable talking about his age with him.  
"Nick told me something about it once. I of course forgot it 'cause I'm a shitty boyfriend. But, this morning I found a piece of paper where I'd written the day of your birthday, and I face-palmed myself." says Louis, making Harry smile.  
"You're not shitty. You idiot." says Harry, still eating.  
"Alright. So, happy birthday, baby. And sorry."  
Harry looks at him lovingly, "Thanks, Lou."  
"Why didn't you tell me? I could have done something special for you." Louis has to stop feeling fucking guilty.  
He has to stop it.  
Why can't he stop?  
He can't help it.  
Harry smiles again and to say he's happy would be an understatement.  
"Uhm...thanks, but...uhm...I dunno. Didn't think about telling you something like that."  
Louis looks at Harry a bit confused, but lets the topic drop.  
"Still waiting for you to sing, by the way."  
"Well," says Harry, "You'll have to keep waiting for me, then."  
Louis smirks at Harry, since he doesn't speak like that very often.  
"I'll wait, baby. Always will."  
And according to Harry's heart and stomach, that was the best dinner he's ever had in his life.  
Too bad Harry's brain won't work properly, or else it could have warned Harry about how Louis really is, 'cause everybody could see he doesn't really care about him.

Or maybe Louis cares about Harry, but he's not going to admit that.  
Louis doesn't even admit so to himself.


	32. March 2nd, 2011

It's been a while since Louis and Harry's relationship started.  
It's been too long, in Louis' opinion.  
So yeah, Louis has to stop it.  
He can't keep fooling Harry.  
He really doesn't want to hurt him.  
Well, now it's kind of too late, but he has to stop their relationship anyways.  
Harry's too cute for him and Louis really can't stand the fact Harry's so adorable and so nice with him, while the only thing Louis can do is cheating on him and being a fake.  
Maybe he can't think about being with Harry anymore 'cause Louis is feeling guilty, lately.  
He's feeling guilty more than he should and more than he used to, and he doesn't like it.  
Harry, on the other hand, couldn't be more excited about how his relationship with Louis is going.  
Harry lives in a world he created himself where everyone is kind and nice, and nobody would ever hurt somebody else.  
Louis of course is the first who'd never do something like that to Harry, according to the boy, so it's obvious Harry sees Louis as an angel.  
By the way, Harry just woke up from a nap in Louis' bedroom and he's putting his clothes back on (they 'made love' a few hours before). After that, he goes downstairs where his boyfriend must be, as always.  
Everytime they fuck and Harry falls asleep, Louis always goes downstairs. So Harry is used to wake up without him by his side.  
But it's okay, Louis cares about him, in Harry's opinion.  
Harry rubs his eyes while going in the living room, but he stops right when he hears Louis laughing.  
He frowns in confusion and looks inside the room.  
Louis is seated on the couch from behind, and apparently he's speaking on the phone.  
Harry yawns, still feeling sleepy.  
He tries to hear what Louis' saying, but he doesn't understand anything.  
So he gets a little bit closer, trying to stay hidden.  
Even if Louis just laughed, now he's talking with a low voice, and Harry asks himself why.  
He finds it weird, Louis' voice is always pretty loud.  
Why is he talking like that?  
"No, no, dont worry, we're not really together. I mean, yeah, he thinks we're together, but we're not."  
Harry's confused, is Louis talking about their relationship?  
Louis chuckles.  
"Yeah, exactly."  
Louis chuckles again.  
"No, honey, it's just he thinks I like him and stuff like that...no, no, I told him that stuff...yeah, you know, my strategy...no, no, I'm not going to use my strategy with you. You're different, you know?"  
His strategy? What?  
Louis fucking chuckles again.  
Now, maybe Harry's having a nightmare.  
Of course Louis' talking about their relationship, unless Louis is in another relationship with someone else in addiction to the one he has with Harry.  
And Harry doesn't like what Louis' saying.  
He doesn't like it at all.  
He walks in the living room a little bit more, hoping he'll understand better what Louis' saying, and now Louis' aware of Harry's presence, he heard his tiny footsteps.  
It's okay, he thinks. Everything will be easier if Harry hears Louis now, so Louis won't have to say anything to Harry and- it's perfect.  
"Yeah, of course you can. I'll make sure to fuck that ass of yours so good, baby..."  
All right.  
All right.  
Maybe this is just a nightmare, Harry thinks, again.  
This must be a nightmare.  
This is a nightmare.  
Louis is a nice person.  
Louis would never do something like that to Harry.  
Louis is...is-  
Harry has too many questions and thoughts and he's feeling all dizzy and lost.  
He has to throw up.  
He's going to throw up soon.  
He feels like someone just punched him.  
"Yeah, of course. I'll take care of you."  
Louis always says he'll take care of Harry.  
Who is Louis talking with?  
Why isn't he telling these things to Harry?  
Did Harry do something wrong?  
Is Harry not good in bed, so now Louis wants to reject him?  
"Sure. I'll call you when Harry leaves...don't know, he's sleeping."  
Louis chuckles after a couple of seconds.  
"Nah, he's quite good...yeah, his dick's pretty nice...mhmh, I swear..."  
Harry doesn't want to think about the things he heard.  
He just can't believe Louis told something like that to someone who isn't Harry. How long has Louis been acting like that?  
Now that Harry thinks about it, he's an idiot.  
Louis' talking to someone about something they're going to do that deals with sex, and his voice is so relaxed, he also seems to be pretty excited.  
So, if Louis' so calm while telling those stuff he should just say to Harry, this isn't the first time he does something like that, Harry thinks.  
Just the thought of it is making Harry cry.  
Yeah, he's actually crying.  
Like a baby.  
Louis always tells him he's his baby, and now he's crying like one, but Harry doesn't think he's Louis' baby anymore.  
That makes him cry even more, so he rushes to Louis' bedroom and lays on his bed, crying.  
Harry doesn't need to hear the rest of the conversation.  
He squeezes the pillow in his hands and tries to be silent, but he can't.  
Harry thinks about what's going to happen now.  
Maybe Louis didn't actually say those things?  
Was he just kidding? He sounded serious, though.  
Harry stops crying for a moment and thinks about every single word he heard.  
Then he cries like he's never done before.  
He desperately tries not to hiccup too loud, and tries to think about something nice.  
But, Louis' all over his mind.  
He can't think about something else, or someone else.  
He curls up on the bed, squeezing the pillow as hard as he can, and once in a while he takes a deep breath 'cause he's crying too much.  
He keeps repeating in his mind Louis' words, and the way they sounded.  
That was not the Louis of his world.  
That was not the Louis he's been with for weeks.  
Louis isn't like that.  
Louis can't be like that.  
Louis cares about Harry.  
He cares about me, Harry repeats in his mind non-stop.  
Louis cares about me, he likes me. Louis cares about me, Harry repeats in his mind over and over again.  
But the more he repaeats so, the more he struggles believing on it.

"Babe?"  
Harry wakes up for the third time that day, feeling Louis' hand caressing his tummy.  
He knows this is Louis' hand, and just the thought of Louis makes him want to cry again. He didn't even know he fell asleep.  
Apparently he did.  
"Hey...baby..." Louis kisses Harry's cheeks and keeps caressing his body.  
Louis is feeling like shit. He knows Harry heard him. He knows Harry cried. He cried so much it made Louis want to cry, too.  
Harry cried so much he fell asleep.  
But Louis can't keep hurting Harry. He's not suitable for relationships. Even if he tried to make things work between him and Harry, he wouldn't succeed.  
Harry would have realized about how shitty Louis is anyways, so Louis just speeded up the process.  
Harry opens his eyes and looks at Louis with puffy and red eyes, and Louis feels a shiver running down his spine.  
It's just his fault if Harry's like that.  
And this is just the beginning.  
"Uhm...h-hi..." Harry closes his eyes again and takes a deep breath.  
He opens his eyes again, "Think I had a nightmare. Gonna go home. S-sorry." Harry gets up, making Louis move in the opposite direction Harry's walking in.  
"I'm sorry," says Louis, referring to everything he's done to Harry, "I'm really sorry. Hope you'll feel better." says Louis, lowering his voice.  
Harry nods, feeling a knot in his throat 'cause he wants to cry and he can't, right now.  
He promised himself he wouldn't cry in front of Louis. Louis doesn't need to know how much he hurt Harry.  
So Louis stares at him while the boy takes his phone and his shoes and puts them on, then he looks down when Harry exits the room, going downstairs.  
Louis takes a deep breath and follows Harry, who was waiting for him in front of the door.  
They look at each other for a while, and both of them feel shivers on their bodies.  
Both of them want to cry.  
Harry's been an idiot and he let another idiot fool him.  
Louis' words were clear. Harry heard everything he needed to hear. Louis was not kidding, it wouldn't make sense. He was giving an appointment. He wanted Harry to go home so that he could have fucked someone else right when Harry wouldn't be at home anymore.  
Why?  
Was Harry not enough?  
Harry's eyes are almost making tears run down his cheeks again.  
On the other hand, Louis' an idiot, too, and he shouldn't have treated Harry like that.  
Harry doesn't deserve what Louis did to him.  
If only Louis could turn back time.  
"B-bye." says Harry, and Louis nods.  
"Bye, Harry."  
The way Louis' voice sounded made Harry feel another shiver.  
Louis hardly ever calls Harry with his name, he always uses pet names.  
Why is Louis calling him like that? Shouldn't he keep lying about everything and act as a fake?  
Harry has too many questions right now to reply to and he's not going to have answers soon.  
Harry and Louis stare at each other for a couple of seconds, then Harry turns back and opens the door, exiting the house and definitely exiting Louis' life as well.


	33. March 2nd, 2011 (part two)

After Harry exited Louis' house and life, he went straight to the nearest bus stop and waited for a bus for something like twenty minutes. He caught the bus and stopped at a bus stop near Nick's flat fifteen minutes later.  
Of course he spent his time thinking about how worthless he is, at the point that his ex-boyfriend needed to fuck someone else 'cause Harry wasn't enough.  
He really struggled to keep himself from crying.  
He walked for other five minutes or so and knocked at Nick's door right when he headed to it.  
"Hey, bunny!"  
Harry looks up at Brian and tries to smile.  
"Mh. Hi. W-where's Nick?" Harry needs Nick right now more than anyone else.  
"Oh, well, he went to the grocery store or something like that. Dunno, to be honest. Want to wait for him inside?" Brian opens the door more, making room for Harry so that he can enter the flat.  
Harry nods and enters the living room, sitting on the couch.  
The couch.  
The living room.  
Louis.  
"Bunny, you okay?" asks Brian, sitting near him and looking at the boy.  
Harry nods, 'cause if he said just a word he would start crying again.  
"So, gonna tell you what I did today, my life really is interesting, you know?"  
Harry actually smiles slightly at Brians' words.  
Is Brian trying to make him feeling better? Or is he just pretending as Louis did for months?  
"Well, I assume your silence is an exciting yes. So, this morning I woke up, stayed in bed for I dunno how long, then I got up and went to Nick, who was sleeping. Oh, yeah, it was something like 6 a.m. Then, what did I do? Oh, right. Then I jumped on him to wake him up, and as much as it sounds dirty, no, Harry, I wasn't trying to fuck him. You dirty minded human being."  
Harry was kind of smiling a bit, but then Brian said something about fucking and Harry wants to cry so bad he doesn't know how to control himself.  
Did Louis use him just for sex?  
Harry thinks that yeah, it's possible.  
He's an idiot.  
Louis was a fuckboy when they first texted and talked, and apparently still is. People don't change that fast, they just can't. It takes months, even years to change someone. Why did Harry even fall for Louis? He's just an idiot.  
Now Louis is probably fucking somebody else and Harry wants to cry even more.  
"Uhm, hey...? You sure you're okay? I mean, don't worry, me and Nick are just friends, and I'm already taken. Love food so much, you know." says Brian, and this time Harry slightly smiles.  
He looks at Brian for a moment and then looks down.  
Of course Brian knows there's something wrong, but he doesn't want to make things worse, so he doesn't insist.  
Also, he doesn't really know Harry, this is why he decides to mind his own business.  
"Do you think Nick will accept our marriage? I mean, me with food?" asks Brian.  
Harry looks back at him and nods, and Brian ruffles his hair.  
"Curly." Brian says, and Harry tries not to think about his kik nickname.  
Louis.  
He wants Louis to hug him, and at the same time he wants Louis to disappear.  
"I think you need to eat something." says Brian, and Harry shakes his head.  
"Alright, bunny. Maybe you want me to leave you alone?" asks Brian, nicely.  
Harry nods, looking down.  
"Let me know if you need something. I'll be in the kitchen, yeah? With the love of my life aka food. Feel free to join us."  
Harry looks at him and slighlty smiles, then nods again.  
Brian heads to the kitchen and Harry waits for Nick to come back home.  
On the couch.  
He hopes he won't have to wait for too long.

"Hey, Harry. What are you doing here?" asks Nick when he enters the living room.  
Harry looks up at Nick, gets up and rushes in his direction, then he hugs him and holds him tight.  
Nick chuckles, "Yeah, alright, missed you too, you idiot."  
He rubs his hand on Harry's hair and hugs him back.  
Maybe Harry is just in a cuddle mood, he thinks.  
After a couple of seconds where Harry doesn't give signs of being alive and stays silent, though, Nick starts getting worried.  
"Harry, what happened? You okay?"  
Harry shakes his head.  
He's silently crying.  
He tried to hold back the tears, but now that Nick is with him he can't do it anymore.  
As much as it sounds miserable, right now he feels safe to cry.  
"Shit, why are you crying?" Nick tries to looks at Harry, but the boy won't let him.  
He's hugging Nick as if he's a rock and if Harry let him go he wouldn't survive.  
Nick thinks about why Harry's feeling like that for a couple of seconds.  
Then it hits him. "Louis." he says,  
and when Harry cries harder, he's sure of it.  
After a couple of seconds, though, Harry pulls away and looks at Nick with his teary, red and swollen eyes.  
When Nick sees him, he just wants to hug Harry back.  
"I'm a-an idiot! Y-you said...you t-told me t-that...t-that I c-could have t-trusted him, b-but t-then you took i-it back, and...y-you said t-to be careful, and m-my mum too, a-and...a-and I d-didn't think.. I...I didn't think h-he was l-like that a-and I'm a-an idiot!" Harry almost screams, crying harder and covering his face with his hands, sobbing.  
Nick feels a shiver run down his spine as he looks at his friend ended up like that because of his and Louis' fault.  
"Harry...come here," Nick hugs Harry and caresses his back, "you aren't an idiot. Louis is the only idiot here. Oh, and me, too. You shouldn't just be mad at Louis. I thought he himself would have been careful this time, since I told him not to hurt you. I tried to warn you when I realized Louis wasn't going to treat you differently, but of course it was too late."  
Harry calms himself down a little, carefully listening to Nick.  
"B-but I-I'm not mad a-at you. You're the o-only person w-who r-really cares about m-me. A-at least I-I hope so...h-hope y-you're n-not pretending." Harry sniffles slighlty.  
"Harry...of course I care about you. Also, I don't have reasons to use you. Like, we're friends and that's it."  
Harry nods and calms down a little bit more.  
He can trust Nick.  
He's been friend with him since he was 11 and Nick was 13. He can trust him.  
"B-but I'm an idiot a-and don't tell me I'm n-not, 'c-cause I'm seventeen and I can't e-even understand when someone i-is taking a-advantage o-of m-me." says Harry, tightening his grip on Nick.  
"Harry, please. Stop thinking about it. Louis doesn't deserve your tears, right? What if he knew you're crying so much over him? You'd just give him the satisfaction."  
Harry pulls away again and looks at Nick, he doesn't know what to do. Brian is now heading to the living room, 'cause he wants to know what's happening and why Harry seems to be really pissed off, when he was all shy and insecure with Brian.  
"Now that I-I'm crying over him, h-he's fucking s-someone e-else, 'c-cause I w-wasn't enough for h-him and I h-hate him s-so m-much." Harry sits down on the couch and curls up in a ball, crying.  
When he enters the room, Brian looks at Harry and then at Nick, and of course he gets the topic of their conversation.  
Is Harry crying because of Louis?  
The fact Brian let Louis fuck him is making him feel like shit.  
Harry seems to be really hurt.  
And while Brian stares at Harry, thinking way too much about his life, Nick gets closer to Harry and caresses his hair.  
"H-he i-is w-with s-someone e-else r-right now a-and I d-don't want t-to." Harry cries harder, and Nick sighs.  
"Harry,"  
"N-no, Nick! H-he's with so-meone e-else! A-and I'm s-so stupid."  
Nick lets Harry pour everything out.  
He's saying the same things over and over again.  
When Harry calms down slightly, Nick speaks again.  
"Harry, if Louis couldn't have a relationship with you 'cause he didn't fuck you and needed somebody else, at least you don't have regrets now." says Nick, thinking this is the right thing to say.  
When Harry cries harder, something's telling him he shouldn't have said it.  
Brian gets closer to them and looks at Harry.  
That boy in front of him reminds Brian to when he was his age and used to cry a lot because of the way people treated him.  
It's like he sees himself in Harry, this is why he wants to do something for him.  
Even if he's almost a stranger for him.  
He doesn't care, he can't keep looking at Harry crying.  
"Wait a second, Harry..." says Nick, and Brian already knows what he's going to tell.  
No way.  
"Harry, you want something to eat? Mh? I know you want it. C'mon, let's go to the kitchen, yeah? Oh, and food does not fancy boys who cry, so I suggest you to stop." says Brian, trying to make him feel better. When he said stuff like that before, he noticed Harry's little (and temporary) change of mood, so maybe he's not as hopeless as he seems to be.  
Harry stops crying right when he hears Brian, 'cause he feels embarassed but he also wants to know what the boy has to tell him.  
He sits up and looks at Brian, then he looks at Nick, and then he wipes away his tears.  
"Yes, Nick. A-and please don't tell me I shouldn't have let him, 'c-cause now it's too late." he takes a deep breath, "Now I know I shouldn't trust people so easily. And I don't want t-to cry over him anymore. I don't want to cry when he's having an orgasm with somebody else."  
Nick takes a deep breath and Brian smiles.  
"This is why you're going to have an orgasm because of food. Best orgasm of your life, I fucking swear." says Brian, and Harry slightly smiles.  
"Alright, I wanna try it." Harry gets up and goes in the kitchen with Brian, trembling a little but trying not to think about it.  
They both eat as if they won't have the opportunity to eat for twenty days straight, and Harry feels a little bit better.  
Brian really is funny. He tried to make Harry smile every second, and the food was amazing.  
Nick joined them at some point after he calmed down -he's so mad at Louis he'd kill him- and so everyone tried to distract the other, and it turned out well.

Later that day, Louis' drinking some beer when someone rings at the doorbell.  
He heads to the door and opens it, seeing the boy he met the day before at the night club he works in.  
The boy checks Louis out for two or three seconds and when he's done looking at Louis' body, the boy looks at his face, smirking.  
"Hey, hottie." says the boy.  
Louis doesn't even remember his name, c'mon.  
He doesn't think this boy ever told his name.  
"Hi. Nice to meet you." says Louis, pretending he isn't annoyed.  
Not only he's annoyed, he's also feeling like shit because- Harry cried for hours and he heard every single hiccup his little boy did.  
Well, Harry's not his little boy anymore.  
But that's not the point. The point is, Harry cried because of Louis. And another point is that Louis' still thinking about it.  
Louis didn't want him to cry so much.  
Harry's his little boy. No matter what. Yeah, he's his little boy. He will always be.  
Meanwhile, the boy enters the house and looks expectantly at Louis, who looks back at him.  
Harry made him realize you can have fun even if you don't have sex, that there are loads of things you can do instead of having sex.  
Well, Louis knew about those things, of course, but never could he ever imagined he would have experienced them.  
Harry's so kind.  
And so sweet.  
And Louis already misses him, 'cause he knows he won't have Harry back, and he's realizing just now how much he actually likes him and how precious he is.  
Nobody has ever cared about Louis so much, Harry was the only one. And why the fuck did Louis let him go?  
"I'm an idiot." Louis says out loud.  
He takes a deep breath when he realizes what he said. He wasn't supposed to say it out loud, for fuck's sake.  
"Bad day?" the boy asks, and Louis remembers he has to close the door.  
So he closes the door.  
"Yeah, definitely."  
Louis takes a deep breath and runs a hand in his hair.  
"I can turn it in a good one, if you want to." says the boy, and Louis wants to rolls his eyes, but he doesn't.  
It's okay, he can handle it.  
It's okay.  
He lost the only person he truly cared about him, and will never have him back again.  
It's okay.  
Yeah, it's completely okay.  
Louis nods.  
"Bedroom?"  
He nods again.  
He's feeling even worse than before 'cause he feels like he's cheating on Harry.  
Oh, wait, he already did it countless times.  
"Yeah, follow me." Louis says, going upstairs with the boy.  
When they enter the room, the boy takes Louis' hips in his hands, squeezing them.  
Why is Louis feeling uncomfortable? He should be used to strangers touching him, and this isn't even the beginning.  
"Your arse. I swear, it looks fucking amazing." says the boy, getting closer to Louis.  
"Thanks."  
Then the boy starts kissing Louis' neck, sometimes biting it, and Louis tries to close his eyes and ignore his thoughts.  
Louis' always the dominant one, but this time he doesn't feel like being dominant at all. He hopes this boy's going to hurt him so that he'll feel less guilty.  
"You're so little, babe."  
That sounded like something Louis would say to Harry. But it wasn't Louis this time.  
The boy who's squeezing Louis' body in his hands is so tall Louis misses Harry's little body even more.  
The boy makes Louis walk in the bed's direction, and when Louis reaches it, he falls back on it.  
He positions himself further on the bed, having his legs on it, and the other boy smirks at him, unzipping his jeans.  
"I like it if you're submissive, you know. Even if I didn't think you were?"  
Louis takes a deep breath. He doesn't know why he's even wasting his time with this stranger.  
He wants Harry.  
"Whatever. I don't care. Fuck me if you want to. I don't know. Do whatever you want." says Louis, removing his joggers.  
The other boy looks at him, confused.  
"Hey. What's wrong?" he asks, taking the rest of his clothes off.  
Now he's naked, and, honestly, Louis doesn't even want to look at him.  
He's not in the mood.  
He's always in the mood, but not today.  
What is Harry doing?  
"It's nothing. Thanks. Now fuck me." he says, taking his clothes off, too.  
The boy stares at his body for a couple of seconds and lays on top of him without putting any weight on Louis.  
That's when he starts kissing Louis' neck, again.  
And, Louis tries to enjoy it, tries not to think about Harry, tries to fucking moan, but he just feels like this is not right. Was Harry feeling like that when Louis and him started seeing each other?  
Did Harry want Louis to fuck him, the first time they did it? Louis didn't even make sure Harry was alright with it.  
What an idiot.  
"Listen. I'm tight. My butt, I mean. Like, really. So make sure to hurt me as much as you can." says Louis, hoping the pain will make him temporary forget about Harry.  
Temporary fix, yeah.  
"So you like the pain, mh?"  
Louis nods, and lets the boy kiss him and stuff.  
Is Harry crying? Is he still crying? Where is he?  
What's wrong with Louis?  
"The fuck?" exclaims the boy.  
"What?" asks Louis, confused.  
"Why the fuck aren't you hard?"  
Oh.  
Louis was thinking about Harry and how much he hurt him, and this boy is asking Louis why he isn't hard?  
"Mh, sorry. I think I'm sick or something."  
The boy looks at him, and Louis opens his eyes.  
Oh, did he close them?  
"Are you fucking kidding me?"  
Louis sighs.  
"I'm not kidding, no."  
"Alright. Gonna fuck you anyways. Where's the lube?" asks the boy, and Louis lazily points at the bedside table.  
The boy heads to it and opens the drawer, taking the lube.  
If Louis' feeling like that, then how is Harry feeling? Louis isn't sure he wants to know.  
So, is Harry crying? Again?  
How is he fucking feeling? What is he doing?  
When Louis feels a finger teasing his entrance, though, he sits up all of a sudden and steps back, making the boy sigh.  
"What? What do you need?"  
Louis shakes his head and gets up, then he grabs his clothes and puts them back on.  
"What are you doing?" asks the boy, trying not to lose control.  
"I think I have a temperature. Sorry. Really, I didn't know. Can you leave?" asks Louis, looking at the boy who's still on his bed.  
The same bed where he fucked Harry for weeks.  
And now he can't fuck him anymore.  
He can't pretend he wants to cuddle and do the big spoon anymore.  
He can't pretend he likes Harry anymore.  
Why is he missing all of this, if he was just pretending?  
"I'm naked. With lube in my hands. And you want me to leave? Really, baby?" the boy gets up as well and goes near Louis.  
Louis nods. He's feeling so weak right now, what is it supposed to mean? Is it normal?  
"I'm sorry. I'm sick." Louis can't help it but look down.  
The boy rubs his thumb on Louis' cheek, and Louis looks up at him.  
He's not used to this situation, and he really is uncomfortable.  
He just wants to kiss Harry, honestly.  
Again, what the fuck is wrong with him?  
"Hey. You can tell me what's wrong. I'm here for you. Tell me whatever you want. Or just suck my dick."  
Louis steps back and- he's feeling disgusted 'cause he'd said things like that to Harry, sometimes, and, really, crying is the only option Louis can think about right now.  
"Stop it. I changed my mind, just go home. I'll see you at work." says Louis, and the boy eerily chuckles.  
"Now, baby," the boy gets closer to Louis, "I don't think you got it. I'm not going home. I stay right here. You give me at least three orgasms, and then I'll go back home. Maybe. Is it clear?"  
Now Louis' getting pissed off. And scared. Who does this boy think he is? Please.  
"No, listen. You are going back home, 'cause I'm telling you to, 'cause this is my house and I tell you what you can do and what you can't. My rules, not yours. And put your clothes on."  
Louis pretends he's not feeling scared and takes the boy's clothes, handing them to him.  
The boy chuckles again.  
"C'mon, suck it. It's not that you're not used to it. Bet you live for it."  
And Louis' feeling even more pissed off.  
"Go. Home. I don't want to see you anymore. Go away." says Louis, in an attempt to appear convincing.  
"If I have to force you, I will. So, now tell me. Do I have to take your head in my hands and lead it on my dick? Mh?" the boy gets closer to Louis, and something inside him -Louis- makes him react properly.  
"Now, tell me. Do I have to call the authorities?" asks Louis, "So that they can have the opportunity to look at your dick?"   
The boy smirks, "Why don't you suck it instead?"  
"I don't get it. I mean, this is just sex. I'm not feeling like having sex with you. Just go home. I'll see you tonight, yeah? I will be dancing."  
Louis doesn't know why he let a stranger in his house. He should be an adult, but he really doesn't act like one.  
He just knows now he's regretting all of this.  
"Yeah, okay. Tonight you'll dance for me," says the boy, and Louis sighs in relief, "but now I'm going to fuck you."  
Louis tightens up.  
He's scared.  
Like, seriously.  
When the boy starts kissing his neck again, Louis thinks this is what he deserves for have treated Harry like shit.  
"Stop it." says Louis, and the boy chuckles.  
"I won't."  
So Louis hits him with his knee between his legs.  
The boy groans and bends down for the pain, and Louis hits him again.  
"Don't fucking touch me again or I'll cut your dick off with my fucking hands. You fucking idiot." Louis hits the boy over and over again, and he doesn't know why the boy doesn't react.  
Maybe it's because he's scared and sad and torn, 'cause he wants Harry back, maybe it's because his muscles are stronger all of a sudden, but Louis actually punched the shit out of this guy in front of him that now is on the floor.  
"Am I fucking clear?" Louis kicks the boy's hip for the fourth time in the last thirty seconds and takes the boy's boxers.  
Louis tosses them on him and-  
"I said, am I clear?" he asks, and the boy nods.  
"Nice. Now, if you can put your clothes on and leave, I won't call anyone. I'm already dialing the number, though." Louis takes his phone and pretends he's dialing a number.  
The boy can't really get up, but he eventually succeed.  
While he's putting his t-shirt on, Louis brings his phone on his ear, pretending he's almost speaking on the phone.  
The boy quickens his moves and heads to the door as quickly as he can, even if his body is burning from the pain and he's slighlty bleeding from his nose.  
Louis follows him and opens the door, the boy exits his house and Louis makes sure to scream: 'Don't fucking come here again or I'll make sure your dick will disappear, and not in my arse!'  
Louis closes the door with his trembling hand, and sits on the floor, looking in front of him.  
He thinks about Harry and how dumb he was, even because of what just happened.  
He takes a deep breath and tries not to think about the cute little green-eyed boy, and closes his eyes.  
Then he starts crying silently, his heavy breaths echoing the room.  
'Why am I so fucked up?'


	34. March 9th, 2011

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Thank you so much for kudos, comments and -last but not least- your views}

When Harry went to the bus stop right when he exited his school, he wasn't expecting to see Louis.  
This is why he almost had a heart attack when he saw the boy.  
Louis waited a couple of days to let Harry think about everything that had happened, and he sent him some texts, telling Harry he knows there's something wrong in their relationship and why Harry's been acting so distant in the last week.  
Harry was so sad and angry and broken -and still is- he didn't even bother to ask Louis something about his texts. So he ignored him.  
This is why Harry's feeling awkward just looking at Louis, and so he desperately tries to look for Nick in the crowd of people, he was so buried in his thoughts he lost track of him.  
The point is, Harry's not that tall, so he can't really see Nick because of everybody else who's exiting the school.  
So, he hides in the crowd of people and hopes Louis won't notice him.  
Harry can't stop thinking about the fact he's been avoiding Louis' texts for days now.  
He doesn't know if it's a bad thing or not, but at least Louis doesn't text Harry as he used to do.  
Louis seems to be less 'romantic' -he's never been- and he would always send excuses texts, in addiction to the one where he states he knows and understands why Harry's reacting like that.  
Actually, Louis wants to explain everything to Harry, he thinks Harry deserves to know what really happened.  
He wants to make sure Harry will be alright.  
This is why when he spots Harry, his heartbeat speeds up and he doesn't know if he should be excited or scared.  
Louis slowly gets closer to the boy, who still hasn't noticed him, and once he is behind him he taps his shoulder.  
His hand is fucking trembling.  
Harry turns around, expecting to see Nick, but when he sees Louis he just stares at him with his heart one step closer to die.  
"Harry."  
Louis stares at Harry.  
Harry stares at Louis.  
"Go away." says Harry, blinking slightly in an attempt to hold back the tears his body wants to set free.  
Louis makes Harry feel so emotional sometimes, the way the blue-eyed boy controls and affects his emotions almost scares Harry.  
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" says Louis, carefully.   
It's like every single person who's near them doesn't exist anymore.  
They're so focused on looking at each other they don't even think about all the chaos around them anymore.  
Harry forgot about Nick.  
Louis forgot what he was supposed to tell Harry.   
They just intensively stare at each other.  
The fact Louis' eyes are on Harry's, is making the curly-haired boy feel overwhelmed and relaxed at the same time.  
Louis has the power to make him feel that way, and Harry loves it -as much as sometimes he's scared of it.  
"I don't think I want to hear your excuses, to be honest." says Harry, but he doesn't move.  
He stays in the same position, as much as his mind is telling him to go away and look for Nick.  
"I don't want to hear my excuses neither, I told you enough lies. I just want to tell you what happened. I think you need to hear it. I don't want you to grow up knowing some idiot broke your heart and treated you like shit, or that you aren't enough, and I don't want you to have trust issues." says Louis in a surprising and unusual serious voice.  
Harry keeps staring at him.  
He doesn't know if Louis is being serious or not, but he wants to know what Louis has to tell him.  
He wants to stay near Louis as much as he can.  
"Well, thank you. That's very kind of you. You're always so kind with me. Ah, no wait, you've never been kind with me. You just pretended. You pretended you wanted to be with me so that you could fuck me and have me wrapped around your finger, so that you could fuck not only me, but also other people. Right. Keep pretending. Good job." says Harry, and he tries his best to keep his voice low and steady, but it eventually cracks.  
And that makes Louis' heart cracks -as much as it sounds cheeky.   
Louis takes a deep breath, "I don't think this is the right place to talk about it. Do you-"  
Harry interrupts Louis, "What? You want to invite me at your place? So that you can fuck me and tell me I'm your baby? So that you can buy me things and kiss me and touch me as much as you want and use me as an object?" says Harry, some tears are now running on his cheeks.  
Honestly, he doesn't care about what the others are going to say/think. If he wants to cry in front of his school with the majority of the students around him, then he's free to do it.  
And Louis just wants to hug Harry.   
He already has regrets about everything he did to his little boy, and now Harry's crying in front of him.  
But, of course, Louis doesn't like Harry.  
Right. He doesn't like him. Maybe he thought he did. But, no, he doesn't like Harry.  
It's not that Louis wants to cry just because seeing his boy crying is making him feel like shit.   
It's not that Louis' heart is beating so fast it could blow up. Absolutely not.  
It's not that Louis wants to kiss Harry for the rest of his life.  
And, his little boy's crying.  
What is Louis supposed to do?  
"Harry, I'm an idiot. I'm an awful, disgusting, horrible, grisly, gruesome, hideous, miserable human being. I know I am. I can't even look at you crying without feeling like someone is stabbing my heart. I'm being serious, Harry. I swear to my body, to my arms, my fucking legs, I swear to everything, I'm bloody serious, Harry." Louis takes a deep breath, Harry's looking at him with wide, green, lovely eyes, "I don't know how relationships work. I'm sorry I messed up so bad. But, you know what's funny?" Louis bitterly chuckles.   
Harry stares at him, completely astonished by Louis' voice and speech. Is he being serious?   
Harry shakes his head, replying to Louis' question.  
Louis keeps staring at him, with an intensity he's never used before.  
Harry's body feels like it can melt just by how Louis is looking at his eyes.  
Louis never looked in Harry's eyes for so long.   
Louis never really looked in Harry's eyes.  
(Alright, maybe he did, but it was nothing compared to now.)  
"The funny thing about all of this situation, is that everything I used to tell you that wasn't real, every single lie I told you the whole time we spent together, and every single thing I pretended to feel, now is actually real. Everything I've always lied to you about, now is something I actually feel. I actually miss you. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. I miss your kisses, and your smiles, your red cheeks, I don't know, I swear, Harry, I miss everything about you. I've never missed you, but now I do." says Louis, getting closer to Harry.  
All right, now Harry doesn't know what to say. He can't even think about what Louis just told him.  
Again, is Louis being serious?  
Harry pretends Louis' words didn't affect him at all and takes a deep breath, "You miss my dick. You miss my body. And you miss my arse, especially. You miss having someone you can fuck whenever you want, and don't try to say it's not like that. Y-you only want me 'cause n-now I'm not your l-little stupid shitty s-slut a-anymore." says Harry, and now he's crying, but he's trying not to make it noticeable.  
'It's not like that', Louis wants to say, 'It's not like that, I swear, I miss every single thing about you', but there's something inside him that's keeping Louis from say these things out loud.  
"Can I kiss you?" he asks instead, and he wants to punch himself.  
Harry frowns, "What is wrong with y-you?"   
Louis gets even closer to his little boy, and he takes Harry's hands in his own.  
When Harry doesn't pull away, he relaxes slighlty.  
Louis squeezes his hands.   
And, Harry knows this is wrong. He knows he shouldn't be here, he shouldn't let Louis hold his hands, but he can't help it, he loves the way Louis holds his hands, he loves being with Louis, he loves looking at him, he loves his eyes, he loves everything about him.  
Shit.   
Harry's fucked, and for once it's not literally.  
"I told you everything I wanted you to know, that now I actually care about you. That I care so much about you I'm telling those things in front of everyone and I don't fucking care, 'cause I'm talking to you. I cheated on you and you know why, 'cause I'm an awful, disgusting, shitty,-"  
"Stop." suddenly says Harry, and Louis looks at him, surprised.  
"What? I was just saying the tru-"  
"Stop. You're right, but stop saying things like that about you. I don't want you to say those things. Stop." says Harry, squeezing Louis' hands.   
Now, he knows he should stop. He knows this is not right, but he just wants to enjoy the last time he has the opportunity to stay with Louis and barely touch him.  
He will not see Louis again, he decided, but at least he wants to take everything he can from this moment.  
He hates the fact Louis cheated on him and Harry still feels butterflies in his stomach when he's near him. Or when he's looking at Louis and vice versa.  
Meanwhile, Harry completely forgot about the students near them, and he's oblivious to the fact Nick is carefully looking at Harry and Louis.  
He thinks the two of them have to talk at least once, so he doesn't try to separate them -or to kill Louis.  
And Louis can't believe in Harry's words.  
"Harry, thank you. But, please. Please, just one more kiss, and then I'll leave. Just one more." begs Louis, and Harry tries not to let Louis blow his mind.  
He takes another deep breath.  
"S-sorry, I don't kiss cheaters."   
And that fucking went straight to Louis' heart.   
"H-harry, please...I miss you, I swear. I'm sorry. I didn't want to...I didn't...please, trust me. I'm sorry. You don't deserve me, I know-"  
"No, I don't." says Harry.  
"I didn't know what I was doing. I took our relationship too easily. Damn, I didn't even take it as a relationship." says Louis, making Harry cry again.  
Louis didn't take their relationship as a relationship, when Harry spent weeks thinking about it? He spent weeks thinking about how exciting it was, to say the least.  
"No, Harry. Don't...please, don't cry. Stop crying over me. Please. I don't want you to cry." says Louis, and Harry can't believe how weak Louis seems to be right now.  
"You d-don't want t-to see m-me crying, so w-why d-did you a-act like t-that?!" Harry almost screams and cries at the same time, and fortunately most of the people are gone.  
Nick is now seated in his new car, so that he will be able to take Harry home when the boy will be done with Louis. There won't be any bus when Harry and Louis will end talking, or whatever they're doing, so.  
"I didn't know what I was doing. Now I do. I just want you to forgive me. I'm not expecting you to be my boyfriend, my real boyfriend, but I want you to see me as an idiot who cheated on you that learnt the lesson and can be your friend, maybe."   
Harry pulls away at Louis' words.  
"What the fuck a-are you saying?! Friends? Me and you? A-are y-you serious? A-and you want t-to kiss me?!"   
Louis looks down.  
And, wow, Harry's never seen Louis looking down, he's sure of it.  
He takes a deep breath and wipes his tears away.  
Again.  
"I mean, I know r-relationships at my age a-aren't supposed to b-be serious, but t-that doesn't m-mean you can c-cheat on me. It's disrespectful." says Harry more firmly, and Louis looks at him.  
"I know. I'm sorry." says Louis.  
The two of them stares at each other for a couple of seconds, then Harry speaks up.  
"When I came back home you fucked him. Didn't you?" asks Harry, 'cause he wants to know it so bad he's been having nightmares for days.  
"I didn't. I mean, he tried. I wanted him to hurt me. Physically hurt me. So that maybe I could feel less guilty for seeing and hearing how much I hurt you." whispers Louis, and that catches Harry's attention more than anything Louis has said till now.  
"What?"   
"You heard me."  
"Y-you were feeling guilty?" asks Harry, surprised.  
Louis nods, "Still am, to be honest. Yeah, I regret the way I acted with you. And, maybe you are not going to believe me, but when I was speaking on the phone with that boy the other day, I knew you were listening. It was awful. Literally. This is why I told you I knew why you're acting like that." says Louis, and Harry doesn't know what to do.  
Is Louis telling the truth?  
The struggle is real.  
"Wait, what? Louis?"   
Harry wasn't expecting this. He wasn't prepared. Why didn't he prepare for this conversation?  
"Yes, Harry. I didn't want to hurt you or pretend anymore, so I decided to call this boy, and when I heard you were coming downstairs I started my fucked up plan."  
"You're lying." says Harry, 'cause he doesn't want to believe him, and Louis sadly chuckles.  
"I'm not. You're free to have your own opinion, though. Of course you are." says Louis, and Harry thinks about everything Louis' been telling him till now.  
His mind's going crazy. His mind and his heart are going crazy.  
"I'm sorry for everything I did. Really. It was a mistake, clearly. Just hope one day you'll forgive me and think about me as someone who can be your friend, instead of your enemy. Really hope so. That's it."  
Louis focused so much on saying those things to Harry his head is hurting. He's never said things like that to anyone, so it was pretty difficult.   
Now he feels relieved, at least he did what he had to do.  
And Harry thinks he can trust Louis.  
The way his voice sounded was different than usual, Harry's never heard Louis talking like that.  
So there's a possibility Louis was being serious.  
"You really are feeling guilty because of the things you did?" asks Harry, and when Louis nods, he feels like he wants to kiss Louis.   
But he won't. He just feels like doing it.  
Harry takes a deep breath.   
"If the things you told me are true, then I can think about it. Like, thinking about the possibility that maybe one day we'll be friends or stuff. Who knows."  
Louis kisses Harry's forehead, and both boys feel shivers on their bodies.  
"I just want you to be over it. Don't think about me. And, please, don't hate me. If one day you'll need something, though, I hope I'll be able to be there for you. I feel like everything I did till now is wrong. So, thank you for this. I think I'm going to change two or three things about my life. What a beautiful ending for a relationship."  
Harry hides a smile -he doesn't know where that smile came from, and nods.   
"Bye, Lou."  
Louis bitterly smiles, or else he'll cry.  
"Bye, Harry. See you around."  
Louis walks away from Harry, who looks at him till he can't spot the boy anymore.  
Then Harry sighs, and closes his eyes for a moment, rubbing them with his hands.  
Is this how relationships are supposed to end?


	35. September 5th, 2016

Since Louis spent these last few years thinking about Harry, and Harry spent these last few years thinking about Louis, it's a surprise for both of them when they resee each other after what seemed to be a fucking century.  
But, let's start from the beginning.  
Louis was just watching some TV when he heard a loud noise coming from the outside of his flat.  
At first, he thought it was someone who was trying to break open his door, but when he carefully opened it and found someone layed on his back near the stairs and various food items scattered around, he thought he may have been a little bit too paranoid.  
Louis just stared at the boy, while the other one was trying to stand up.  
"Need help?" asked Louis politely.  
When Harry managed to stand up and looked at Louis, he thought he was dreaming.  
And when Louis looked at Harry, he thought he was dreaming about an angel. Did this angel fall off to the ground because he came from the sky?, Louis thought.  
So, coming back to the present, both of them are now staring at each other.  
The point is, Harry can't believe this is Louis. It can't be possible. But, this blue-eyed man in front of him has the same voice as Louis, and everything about this man reminds Harry of Louis. This has to be Louis. He's a very hotter version of him, sure, but it's still him.  
It just has to be.   
"You okay?" Louis asks, still looking into Harry's eyes.  
Harry doesn't know what to say. His voice won't come out.  
Now, Louis is absolutely sure this man's eyes are as beautiful as the ones he had Harry (and hopefully still has).  
But, this green-eyed man can't be Harry, Louis thinks.  
It just can't be.  
And Louis can't stop staring at him, because this young man seems to be so familiar to his eyes, but not to his mind, if it makes sense.  
Let's just drop the fact Louis' heart is beating so fast he can't even breath properly -Harry is in the same condition.  
"Ehm...no, thanks. I mean...ehm...I was just...uhm...s-sorry for the n-noise, I m-mean..." Harry tries not to stutter but miserably fails at the end of his sentence.  
He's fucking trembling, and he hopes Louis can't notice it.   
He hopes Louis won't recognise him, and at the same time he hopes Louis will recognise him.  
I know, right?  
All of a sudden, Harry looks at the things he dropped on the floor and bends down to take them back in his arms.  
Louis can't help but stare at his butt, sadly covered by a really elegant coat.  
He's still thinking about the voice he just heard, so fucking deep and rough, and -his dick is already craving for Harry (Louis actually wants to know more about him).  
Seriously, where did this man come from?   
"You sure you don't need me to help you?" Louis asks again, closing his door after he'd made sure he had his keys.  
Harry straightens himself up and looks at Louis, clamping  his lips. He's way too nervous to have a conversation with Louis, especially because he wasn't expecting to see him after all this time.  
Honestly, Harry just wants to kiss Louis. He's been thinking about doing it for years now and the fact Louis is right in front of him right now doesn't fucking help.  
Louis looks at Harry's hands for a moment -he's actually staring at them as a maniac.  
Harry can't have these huge hands, Louis thinks. Harry can't have these huge, amazing, sexy hands.  
Can someone's hands be sexy? Well, yes, Louis just found out they can.  
Actually, now Louis thinks this 'man' in front of him isn't an angel. He's simply a sex god. That's it. Yeah, that's it.  
"N-no, really, thanks, but...uhm...no, thanks." says Harry, heading for the door in front of Louis'.  
Louis thinks the fact this lovely sex god is stuttering is adorable.  
"Oh, so you're new here?" asks Louis, hoping for a yes.   
Luck is on his side today, because Harry nods, "I'm actually moving in here. Uhm...what...what about y-you?"   
Harry turns around to face him, can't believe he's finally talking to Louis. He just can't. And Louis is so sexy Harry just wants him back.   
How did Louis manage to become so fucking gorgeous?  
Harry's heart hurts. Literally. It's beating so fast it hurts.  
Louis' so lovely with his joggers on and this t-shirt, he can see Louis' body is even more sculpted than before.  
On the other hand, Louis can't see Harry's muscles -hell, he still doesn't realize this is Harry- but the sigh of this young man wearing this black, classy, long coat is making Louis go crazy.  
"Live here, too. Actually, this is my place." Louis states, pointing at his own door for a moment, "Apparently we're flat mates, aren't we?"   
Harry chuckles nervously, "Uhm, yeah, I think we are." He awkwardly gets a firmer hold on the things in his arms that want to fall off to the ground again, and Louis notices it.  
"Really, let me help you, yeah? I swear I'm not a murderer or something like that." says Louis, making Harry smile slightly.  
"Alright, if you insist..."  
Louis quickly takes some items from Harry and looks at him expectantly.   
Harry stares at him for a couple of seconds thinking about how gorgeous Louis is now. He hopes his personality got better, too.  
He truly hopes so.  
"I mean, if you want to stare at my eyes for the whole day I think it's okay, but don't you think we should put that stuff somewhere first? Food is precious." says Louis, and Harry turns back to reality.  
"Sorry, I was...uhm...I was just thinking...about...uhm...nothing..." Harry quickly takes his keys from a pocket situated on the side of his coat and heads to his door, opening it.  
The more Louis thinks about this man's voice, the more he thinks this is Harry.   
But this can't be Harry, he reminds himself.  
He's really confused.  
Louis follows Harry in the kitchen, and puts the items on the table.  
"So..." says awkwardly Louis.  
"Uhm...thanks..." quickly says Harry, after he put his items on the kitchen table.  
Louis slowly walks back, "No problem. Tell me if you need me to help you, yeah? Don't kill yourself on the stairs, please." says Louis, making Harry chuckles.  
"Yeah, don't worry...I'll try my best." says Harry, and this time he doesn't stutter.  
Louis stares at him for a couple of seconds, Harry stares at Louis.  
This can't be Harry, Louis thinks over and over again.   
Harry wasn't like that. He had curly hair, a sweet voice and he was tiny.   
This man in front of Louis has short straight hair, a voice that makes Louis and Louis' cock want to cry -if you know what I mean- and he's extremely tall.  
And he's so hot Louis is actually sweating.  
"You better." says Louis, heading for the door so that he can go back to his flat. He needs a handjob so bad he can't wait another second.   
But, when Louis is exiting Harry's flat, he hears that fucking illegal voice calling him.   
"Louis?"   
And what was that? Did Louis imagine it? Did Louis imagined everything happened in the last five minutes? Is Louis having a dream?  
Louis slowly turns around, looking at the sex god in front of him.  
This man is way too sexy for Louis' eyes.  
Louis can't look at him without feeling everything in his body reacting to the man's extraordinary beauty.  
"What? I mean...what did you say?" asks Louis, confused.  
Harry takes a deep breath and gets closer to Louis.  
"I said your name. Louis." says Harry, lowering his voice, and now it sounds even hotter.  
And Louis doesn't know what to say.   
This isn't Harry.   
"You can't be Harry." he says out loud, and his body starts trembling slightly when Harry nods.  
Harry is as overwhelmed as Louis is.  
"I am, Louis." he loves saying Louis' name out loud.  
Louis nervously chuckles, "No, listen. Who are you? Harry's brother? Something like that?"  
"I don't have a brother, and you know it. I'm just Harry."   
Alright, what is happening right now?  
"You can't be Harry." Louis says again, trying to stay calm.  
Harry gets even closer to Louis, staring at him as if Louis is some kind of supernatural human being.  
"You texted me on kik." starts Harry, and Louis feels his heart beating even faster than before.  
"Who are you?" Louis asks, because this man can't be Harry.  
"I was sixteen. And I was an idiot." says Harry, and Louis is sweating more.  
"You aren't Harry."  
"We met after a while. At the bar in front of my old school. You said that saying I was beautiful would have been an understatement." says Harry, and Louis thinks he's imagining all of this.   
Is he crazy yet?  
Like, crazy crazy crazy.  
"Is it a joke?" is the only thing he can ask.  
"No, I just wanted you to know I'm Harry. And you know why?"  
"You can't be Harry."  
"Louis, do you know why I want you to know it's actually me?" Harry asks again.  
What can Louis do? He shakes his head no.  
Harry wants to say too  
many things.  
He wants to say he loves Louis, because he couldn't stop thinking about him and having his heart beating super fast just at the sigh of Louis' name.  
He wants to say he misses Louis, wants to say he always thinks about him, wants to say he's gorgeous, he's amazing.   
Harry wants to say Louis is a fucking asshole and that he hates him because Harry won't stop thinking about him. And he hates him because after everything Louis did to him, Harry stills wants Louis.  
Harry doesn't just want Louis, he fucking needs him.  
And he hates it.   
So he hates Louis -and loves him to the fridge and back.  
"I think...it's weird we're in the same flat now, after all these years. You...probably...had already figured it out, but...you know..." Harry says, trying to act cool.  
Louis can't believe this is Harry.  
"I think this is a joke. Someone sent you here to prank me, and there's at least a camera in here. You're just way too similar to my ex. Maybe Harry sent you here? It doesn't make sense, but it's possible. You can't be Harry. Harry was a completely different person." says Louis, his heart still beating too fast.  
Harry looks at him for a moment, then he takes his wallet from his pocket, opens it and shows his identity card to Louis.  
"I'm your ex, yeah." says Harry, and he's glad he's not stuttering anymore.  
Louis stares at the identity card Harry's showing him, and he's even more overwhelmed than before.  
"You're Harry?" asks Louis, and Harry nods.  
"Been telling you for a minute or so, you idiot." says Harry, and yeah, he's feeling more confident.  
"This is not possible. What are you doing in here?" asks Louis, and Harry smiles.  
He really missed Louis.  
"I told you, I live here."   
"But you can't live here. I live here." says Louis, and Harry chuckles.  
Louis can't help it but stare at Harry's lips for a moment and then at his eyes.  
Shit.  
"Louis, a friend of mine used to live here. I told him I was looking for a new flat, so he suggested me to buy this one. Long story, though." says Harry.  
"You're not serious." says Louis.  
"Louis, don't you recognise me? C'mon, it's me." says Harry.  
Louis can't believe this is real. He can't believe Harry is in front of him. He spent so many years thinking about him and wondering what would have happened when he had had the chance to see Harry again, and now?  
Neither Louis or Harry had expected this moment to be so weird.  
"I'm confused. I feel like this is a film. You know what? I'm going to enjoy this as much as I can." says Louis, and Harry truly smiles.  
Man, that smile.  
"Good idea. So, what do we do now? I mean, this is awkward."   
Louis thinks about something, but the only thought in his mind is to kiss Harry.  
Same thing for Harry's mind.  
"Well, I don't know. Do you want to ignore me for the rest of your life or offer me something to drink?" asks Louis, and Harry can't help it but think about his sperm as something to drink.  
"I think for this time I won't ignore you. You want some tea?" asks Harry, and Louis nods.  
This is the most embarassing thing they've ever experienced in their whole life.  
And they both love it.

 

"Uhm...Harry?" asks Louis.  
Harry's still drinking his tea, and his hands are amazing, Louis thinks for the millionth time.  
Harry looks at Louis and waits for him to speak.  
"I was just thinking about something. I mean, can we start everything all over again?" asks Louis, and Harry puts his tea cup on the table.  
"As friends, right?" Harry asks, because he doesn't want Louis to cheat on him again. Once a cheater always a cheater, he reminds to himself.  
Louis ignores the fact his mood dropped down because Harry wants the two of them to be just friends, and nods.  
"Yeah, sure. I hope everything's okay between us. Don't want you to hate me or stuff like that." says Louis, looking down.  
Harry wants to kiss him so bad he has to focus on his tea and not at how Louis is acting.  
Is he pretending?  
"I'm over it, don't worry. As you can see, it doesn't affect me anymore. We can talk about it whenever you want." says firmly Harry, even if he's lying.  
He wants Louis so bad he could cry. He can't believe he's finally talking to him.  
Louis nods, "Glad."  
Harry nods, too.  
After they finish their tea, they both stand up and look at each other, and Louis can't believe Harry became so sexy and tall and so damn fuckable.  
Don't get him wrong, Harry was perfect when he was sixteen, but now Louis can't even describe how amazing he is.  
"I'm taller than you." says Harry, as if he's reading Louis' mind.  
Louis chuckles, "Guess I am."  
Harry gets closer to Louis, who's trying not to hyperventilate.  
"Can I see the difference between my height and yours? So that I can make fun of you?" says Harry, and Louis honestly thinks he's in love.  
"You bastard. Go ahead."   
Their shoulders are now touching, so that they can see the difference. Well, Louis' shoulder is touching Harry's arm, and Harry's shoulder doesn't touch anything.  
"See, you're not that tall." states Louis, making Harry smile.  
"No, but I'm taller than you." says Harry smiling, and Louis slighlty punches Harry's shoulder -and tries to act cool when he feels how hard it is.  
Shit, Harry fucking built his physique, Louis can see it from the t-shirt Harry's wearing.  
"Oi, don't hurt me." says Harry, caressing his shoulder with his hand and pretending Louis hurt him.  
"I think your shoulder hurt my hand, to be honest." says Louis, making Harry chuckle. "Whoops..."  
It's amazing how comfortable the two of them are feeling, despite how nervous they were when they first saw each other.  
Louis loves being with Harry, Harry loves being with Louis.  
As friends, of course.  
Of course.  
"Harry?" Louis calls the gorgeous man he's looking at.  
"Yeah?" says Harry, looking at him and leaving Louis breathless.  
Louis is still not used to Harry's voice -he doesn't think he will ever get used to it.  
"You sure you don't need help with something? You said you just moved in..." says Louis, trying to start another conversation.  
"Thanks, but I think I don't need your help for now. I just had to bring my personal stuff, the forniture was already here." says Harry.  
"Oh, alright. You know, you almost killed yourself a couple of minutes ago and you were just holding some food, so I was starting to get worried about what could have happened if you tried to bring a coffee table in here." says Louis, chuckling, and Harry fakes a pout.  
And, fuck, why does Harry has to be so adorable? Louis knows Harry's not really pouting, but he doesn't care. Harry's making him going crazy.   
"Oh, what's wrong?" Louis pouts too, and Harry stares at his lips for a bit longer, his own lips aren't pouting anymore.  
Louis notices it, but tries to act as nothing happened.  
"You're mean. You just had the chance to see me again after years and years and years and now you're mean." Harry pouts again.  
Louis just wants to kiss him to his bedroom and back. Actually, they could stay in the bedroom, if they'd head for it.  
"Sorry, didn't mean to. What can I do for you?" asks Louis, and of course they're both joking.  
But, still.  
Kiss me, Harry thinks, but of course he can't say it out loud. He doesn't even know Louis anymore, he doesn't know the person he is today, so he just can't say stuff like that.  
"Cook for me." says Harry, and as much as it sounds weird, he's happy when he sees Louis' smile.  
"I'll cook something just for you, flat mate. And I'll make sure it sucks." says Louis, still smiling, and Harry can't help it but smile back.   
"Deal."  
He really missed Louis.


	36. September 6th, 2016

"Are you fucking kidding me, Harry?" Nick asks, already getting pissed off because -Harry is clearly an idiot.  
"Actually, I'm being serious." states Harry, because, well, he really is serious.  
He's trying not to get too excited about Louis and the fact he now can see that handsome man whenever he wants to(well, not really, but, still). He had to call Nick and tell him to come to his place, though, since Harry recently moved in -and that's the best excuse he could use to talk to Nick about Louis.  
The point is, Harry is still the same lovely person he was when he used to date Louis, and surprisingly Harry doesn't hate him.  
He just misses him.  
He knows he shouldn't get near Louis, but when Harry saw him the previous day, he felt so alive he honestly doesn't care if he spent the whole night dreaming about Louis -and the whole day.  
"Harry, c'mon, we aren't thirteen anymore. Now, why did you say there was something important you had to tell me? What happened?" asks Nick, laying on the couch and closing his eyes shut.  
Harry smiles, feeling less nervous than before, and lays on top of Nick, hugging him.  
"Mate, you better get the fuck off me or else we'll be having a problem down there." says Nick, his voice muffled because Harry's chest is sprawled on Nick's face.  
Honestly, they don't mind each other's physical contact. Nevertheless, they're used to it, in a friendly way of course.  
Both Harry and Nick love being so comfortable with each other, even if Nick will never admit it out loud.  
Harry'd already admitted it plenty of times.  
"Shush, we both know you don't mind my dick. You're straight for me, right? Just for me, baby, yeah." Harry jokingly says, trying to sound serious, and Nick chuckles.  
"Right, honey, I'm straight. Just for you." says Nick, trying to fight back his smile.  
Harry can't see him, thought.  
"So, as I was saying before you interrupted me with your trust issues, Louis lives here. I mean, in another flat, of course, but it's the same building. I just want to know what to do. Honestly, I don't have a clue." says Harry, and Nick tries to breath normally, but Harry's body is just too heavy and he's putting his entire body weight on Nick.  
"I think you are trying to murder me and distract me with your bullshit so that my death won't hurt that much. Well," Nick coughes a little, "you won't succeed in your fucked up plan."  
And, well, Nick coughes again.  
Harry chuckles and rolls on the floor, so that now Nick's breath is almost normal.  
"Thank you very much." Nick says, "And, by the way, I don't believe you. I mean, Harry, sorry but it sounds like a reality show or something like that. Louis can't live here, of all the places in the world."  
Harry rolls his eyes, smiling, though, "Yeah, sure. Now, I don't know what to do. I mean, I think I'm stupid. Because, why am I thinking about him? I think I shouldn't have seen him again. In front of me. And I shouldn't have looked at his lips. And his body. And-"  
"Harry, you sure you don't need help? How is your mental health doing?" asks Nick, partly serious, partly not.  
"As I was saying, he's fucking handsome. I feel like I'm sixteen again. That sounded really bad." sighs Harry.  
"Wait, are you serious? I mean, are you serious you're serious?" Nick asks, disbelief in his face.  
Now he's looking down at Harry, who's laying on his back and looking at Nick.  
"What, you think I'm just randomly talking about Louis as if I don't have anything better to do?" asks Harry, and Nick frowns.  
"So you're telling me you saw Louis. Yesterday afternoon. And you guys talked about your lives?" Nick chuckles.  
Harry nods, "Yes, and Louis is adorable. But I don't want to get too close to him. And on the other hand, I want to fuck him. It's not that bad, isn't it? Hope he's not married, though." asks Harry, and Nick chuckles again.  
"So if I get out of here I'll find Louis' door right in front of yours? C'mon, it can't be real."  
Harry stares at him with a challenging look, "Go ahead and see."  
Nick stares at Harry for a couple of seconds, he doesn't think Harry's actually serious.  
"Alright, I'm gonna go out there so that you'll stop acting like a weird weirdo."  
Nick gets up, heads to Harry's door, opens it and gets near the door in front of him. When he reads Louis' name, though, he laughs.  
"Harry, this is a joke, isn't it?!" asks Nick, loud enough to make Harry hear it.  
Harry smirks, gets up and heads to his door, looking at Nick while he's leaned on his door frame.  
"Told you, my dear." Harry's smirk is still on his lips.  
Nick looks at him, suspicious. "It's a different person, clearly. It can't be Louis. Louis Louis, no. Louis another person, yes."  
"He is a different person. He's as fuckable as lovely. And I feel like he was not pretending to be someone else yesterday. He really was different. At least, he seemed to be. Uhg, what if he's married? And what if he's still pretending to be-"  
All of a sudden, Louis' door opens, and Harry freezes.  
Louis looks at Harry and Nick right when he exits his flat, his heart is beating faster just at the sight of Harry.  
"Oh, hey. What a surprise. Mh. Hi, Harry. Nick? Oh, yeah, Nick. Mh. Hi." Louis clears his throat. He heard Harry and Nick talking, so he's not surprised at all. He just wanted to see Harry again, so he found an excuse to exit his flat.  
Harry stares at him, hoping Louis didn't hear him, and Nick doesn't know what to say.  
"Louis?!" asks Nick.  
"Yeah, it's me. Glad to see you're still alive. And I'm not sarcastic."  
Nick chuckles. "Can't believe it. I am...I swear, I..."  
"I know, right? So, what were you doing here?" asks Louis, looking at Harry for a second and then back at Nick.  
Louis' eyes are so beautiful, he's so beautiful, Harry can't help it but let his gaze roll over Louis' body and face over and over again.  
He misses him.  
Even if Louis used Harry, he misses him. He's always had.  
Also, what is Louis dick like, now? Is it bigger? Thicker? Is Louis still so good in bed? Is he even better?  
"Harry, please, come back here. I gotta go." Nick says, and Harry snaps back to reality.  
Was he staring at Louis? Yes.  
Did Louis notice? Yes, Louis' smirking at Harry with what seem to be knowing eyes.  
"What? Yeah, I'm here. Yeah. What?"  
Both Nick and Louis laughs.  
"Please, don't be an idiot, yeah? I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" asks Nick, and Harry frowns in confusion.  
"What? Why?"  
Nick smirks knowingly at Harry, "Got stuff to do. Don't worry, you'll be fine, there's Louis."  
Harry looks at Louis, and then looks back at Nick.  
He's actually confused. Why is Nick acting like that?  
"As...you prefer. See you tomorrow, I guess." says Harry, and Nick nods.  
"Well, Harry, dinner's almost ready. I was going to tell you." says Louis, even if it's not the truth (he wants to be near Harry as much as he can), "I'll be in here. Bye, Nick."  
Louis enters the flat and shuts his door, not completely though.  
Nick stares at Louis' half-opened door.  
"Nick, can you explain why are you-"  
"I know what he did to you. Actually, I don't like the fact you guys are apparently talking again. But you have this look on your face when you talk about him and look at Louis that just makes me happy. That sounded so girly, uhg. It's the truth, though." says Nick, his voice low.  
Harry slaps his shoulder, "Don't say it's girly! You idiot! Don't sexual-"  
"Yeah, Harry, I know, I won't sexualize little girls and little boys again, yeah." says Nick, chuckling because Harry always gets mad when it comes to humans' rights and equality between men and woman.  
Nick doesn't get why, though.  
"You always says so. And you eventually end up saying it again. Really, Nick. I don't like it when you sexualize people. And don't interrupt me when I'm saying something, you disrespectful human being." says Harry, and Nick chuckles again.  
"I swear I love it when you act so serious and mad at me just because of something I say. You're hilarious."  
Harry rolls his eyes, trying not to think about Louis and the fact he's going to be near him soon.  
"Don't you have to get stuff done?" asks Harry, and Nick nods.  
"Right. Well, I mean, no, but I want you to live your life and spend your time with Louis. As friends. Seriously, though, don't have sex already, yeah? Just-"  
Now it's time for Harry to stop Nick.  
"I won't. I think he's married. I have this bad, really bad feeling inside my bones." says Harry, and Nick heads for Harry's flat and enters it, taking his phone and coat.  
When he shows up again, Harry's mentally getting ready to hear Louis saying he's married.  
Harry's sure of it. At least, Louis has to be engaged. A human being so beautiful can't be single. It'd be impossible.  
The fact Harry's single is just an irrelevant fact. It's not that Harry's a sex god -a single sex god.  
"Really, don't think about it. And don't think about the past. Live now, yeah? Pay attention and be careful, but don't let the past ruin your present. Again, I've already been through it. This is not story time, though. I think there's a reason if you met him again, you know?"  
Harry carefully listens to Nick, astonished by his words.  
Wow.  
Is Nick okay? Has he hit his head?  
"You sure you're conscious?" asks Harry, and Nick starts going downstairs.  
"I am, honey. Talk to you later!"  
And Nick is no longer in Harry's sight anymore.  
Is Harry in a film already?  
He feels like he's in one of those.  
Well, as Louis had said yesterday, he's going to enjoy what he has as long as he can.  
Harry goes back to his flat, takes his keys and closes his door. Then he enters Louis' flat, hoping the man didn't hear anything about Harry and Nick's previous conversation.  
"Uhm...Louis?" asks Harry, standing at the door frame.  
"Come in!" Louis' lovely voice says, and Harry already feels his body react.  
Even the butterflies in his stomach miss Louis, this should be why Harry's stomach seems to be so agitated.  
"But I am in" Harry jokes, trying to release the tension.  
"Can't feel you, though." says Louis, heading to Harry and looking straight into his eyes.  
Alright, now.  
Why is Harry sweating? Already?  
Again?!  
Harry nervously chuckles, and closes the door. Right, the door. He almost forgot about its existence. Poor door.  
Please, treat doors right.  
Don't treat them as Harry just did.  
Don't forget them.  
"But I can definitely see you." says Louis, still looking into Harry's eyes.  
"Yeah? That's incredible. Congrats, now you're not blind anymore. Wanna cheer?" asks Harry, making Louis smile.  
Man.  
"I'll show you the house, yeah? Even if I'm pretty sure the rooms are similar to yours. You know what I mean." says Louis, walking in the kitchen and waiting for Harry to join him.  
"Yeah, me too. Nice kitchen, by the way." says Harry softly, and Louis stares at him for a little bit too much. Harry pretends not to see that Louis is looking at him. One step at a time.  
A couple of seconds later, though, Harry looks at Louis, he couldn't resist anymore, and Louis simply looks at the clock.  
As if he wasn't staring at Harry.  
"Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes. And thanks." says Louis, "Now let's go to the living room."  
Harry nods and follows Louis in the living room, trying to calm down.  
'Hey, heart? Please stop beating so fast. Can't breath properly.' he thinks, hoping his heart will listen to his begs, for once.  
And, oh, he didn't notice how good Louis' butt looks. He didn't have the chance to.  
And, wow.  
He needs to squeeze that butt.  
Harry doesn't even notice Louis stopped because they're arrived in the living room.  
Well, when Harry slams into Louis he finally realize.  
"Oh, uhm, e-ehm...sorry." says Harry, already getting more nervous.  
Louis turns around and looks at Harry, smirking when he sees his embarassed face.  
"What were you looking at, mh?" asks Louis, half jokingly half seriously.  
"Uhm, I...I was looking at your amazing living room, of course. It seems so cosy. For example, that counch right there, seems to be so soft and comfy. Can I touch it?" asks Harry, and Louis chuckles.  
Was Harry actually talking about the couch?  
Of course he was, what else there would be?  
He was talking about the couch, that's it. Louis should stop thinking about these unhealthy things.  
"Yeah, of course. Go ahead and touch it as much as you want."  
Harry smirks at Louis and does as told.  
"I knew it would have been so soft."  
Louis chuckles again. He's too nervous to survive without his nervous chuckles.  
"Can I sit on it?" asks Harry, and -is Louis imagining it all?  
"Yeah, sure, we'll have our flat tour later, then." says Louis, turning off the light.  
"Oh! Turn on the light!" Harry exclaims.  
"What? You afraid?" chuckles Louis, again.  
"No, I'm not. It's just...you know, you can do a lot of things in the darkness, but you can't really use your eyes. I'd like to see." Harry says, and Louis can't believe at his words.  
Maybe he's having the best dream of his life, since in the past years his love life sucked. And it did not suck dicks. Not even nipples. Not even butt holes.  
Harry could say the same things about his love life - and sex life.  
"Like?" Louis asks, and Harry slowly sits down on the couch.  
"Well, I don't know..."  
Louis sits down on the couch too, by Harry's side.  
Harry holds his breath for a little bit. When he lets it out, he makes a weird noise and Louis of course notices.  
"Fot example, giving air blowjobs? Like, blowjobs to the air?" asks Louis, and Harry's grateful Louis can't see his red cheeks.  
Why is he even blushing.  
"Yeah, that's something you have to be aware of. I mean, you have to be aware of my skills." says Harry, and Louis smirks even more.  
"Yeah, I know, Harry. Don't worry. And what am I supposed to do while you're doing that?"  
Harry thinks about it for a moment.  
"Well, you could just stare at the amazing porn me and the air are gently giving you. Isn't it lovely?"  
Harry's taking more confidence now, but his heart is still beating too fast.  
Louis, on the other hand, has always been more confident, but he can't change the way his heart is pumping.  
Of course he can't, we're talking about an involuntary muscle here.  
"I think it'd be a unique experience. Thank you very much Harry. I better turn the light on, now, so that I can see you giving pleasure to the air, yeah?" asks Louis, already getting up, and Harry is slighlty upset.  
He wanted to stay in the darkness with Louis more.  
Alright, that sounded as something mysterious, but it wasn't.  
When Louis turns the light on and looks at Harry, he can't help it but smile at Harry's slighlty red cheeks.  
Harry notices Louis noticed and blushes a little bit more.  
Harry noticed he blushed more.  
Louis noticed Harry blushed more .  
They're both good when it comes to notice.  
This reminds both of them to when they were younger and Harry used to blush at every breath he took when he was near Louis.  
The only difference is that now Harry is older, and hotter, and his voice kills Louis everytime Harry uses it, and Louis just wants to kiss him.  
"So? Is this how you give blowjobs to the air?" Louis asks.  
"Not really. I need some privacy, you know. This is an intimate moment."  
Louis chuckles and sits back on the couch, looking at Harry.  
Harry tries not to look down at Louis' intense stare.  
"Should I stay or should I leave you two alone?" Louis asks.  
"I think you can stay, don't worry. But I don't think this is the right time to give a blowjob, now is it?"  
He doesn't even know who he's referring to.  
Louis doesn't know, neither.  
"You're right. So, guess we can continue our tour?" Louis asks.  
"Yeah, sure. The air is not up for a blowjob." Harry stands up, Louis looks for a moment at his ass and stands up, too, acting as if he's not dying to touch Harry.  
"If the air is not up for you to give it a blowjob, than it's absolutely an idiot." Louis says, and Harry clamps his lips and looks straight into Louis' eyes.  
And he looks absolutely sexy.  
Is Louis serious?  
Louis looks at Harry's lips when he isn't pressing them against each other anymore, then he looks at his eyes, clearing his throat.  
"Alright, follow me."  
When Louis isn't looking at Harry anymore, Harry takes a deep, silent breath and closes his eyes for a moment.  
Louis showed Harry every single room of his flat, they are in the kitchen now.  
He's making sure everything's okay in the kitchen, while Harry's trying not to stare at his butt for too long, because, Louis -Louis is bent down to take some items.  
Is he doing it on purpose?  
"Hope it's not poisoned." Harry says, trying not to think about Louis' body.  
He shouldn't think about Louis at all.  
"Harry, how could you even think about the possibility of me poisoning your dinner. I could never act so selfish, I would poison mine, too." says Louis, still cooking.  
Harry tries not to smile and fails miserably.  
"That reassures me. Thank you, can always count on my new flat mate." says Harry sarcastically.  
"No problem, Harry. No problem."

"Shit. Love it. Did you cook it by yourself?" asks Harry right after he swallowed.  
"Thought I couldn't, didn't you?"  
"Well, I didn't expect you to be so good at this." says Harry, with a hint of something Louis' not sure he caught.  
"Apparently I am."  
"Mhmh."  
After they finish their meal, they randomly talk about what they've been doing for these past few years, again, and that was it.  
Whenever Louis looked at Harry and said something stupid, Harry would look down and slightly smile.  
He's feeling better now.  
Harry is finally having fun again, after what seemed to be ages.  
Maybe he's been lonely for too long, lately.  
And maybe Louis, too.


	37. September 16th, 2016

"Harry?"  
Harry lazily yawns. He rubs his eyes with the tip of his fingers and curls up in a ball.  
"Hey...Harry..."  
He hears Louis voice again, and smiles. He's dreaming about Louis again.  
"Harry?"  
Harry says something incomprehensible, and slightly opens his eyes.  
The first thing he sees is Louis.   
Oh, so he's still dreaming.  
"Sorry to wake you up, but I gotta go to work, so...just wanted you to know." says Louis, and Harry looks at him, confused.  
"Uhg, Lou...this is a dream, isn't? Just...go whenever you want...I'll stay here..." says Harry with a sleepy voice.  
Louis chuckles, "No, Harry, you're not dreaming. I know, when you look at me you think you're dreaming, but this is reality." says Louis, and Harry carefully looks at him.  
"What?" Harry looks around him and notices that he's in Louis' living room.  
"You sure this isn't a dream? Why am I here then?" says Harry with his sleepy voice, not even understanding what he's saying.  
Louis smiles, because Harry's too adorable.  
And his voice is extremely hot.  
"You felt asleep in here yesterday. Don't worry, it's okay"  
Harry sits up all of a sudden, his head spinning a little for the sudden movement.  
"Shit, sorry...I'm sorry, Louis, really-"  
"Harry, I told you, it's okay."  
Harry sighs.  
Then he opens his eyes wide and looks at Louis, "Did we...?"  
Louis shakes his head no, "Not at all. Don't you remember? We were on the couch and  you were saying something about your hair. Then we watched a film and that was it. When the film ended I asked you if you liked it, and when I didn't hear you I looked at you and found out you were sleeping. I just couldn't wake you up." says Louis -even if he was aware Harry was sleeping before the film had ended, since he kept sending Harry looks during the whole film, he couldn't help it- and Harry tries not to smile.  
That was nice of him.  
"Alright, thanks. And sorry." Harry stands up and Louis puts an arm around Harry's back when he almost loses his balance.  
"Harry, just relax, yeah?" asks Louis, lowering his voice and caressing Harry's arm.  
Harry at that feels all the butterflies in his stomach waking up.  
It's just an arm, he reminds himself.  
Harry sighs and closes his eyes for a moment.  
When he opens them back, Louis is looking at him with those eyes of his that are screaming 'take your clothes off and bend down in front of my dick'.  
Or something similar.  
Harry takes a deep breath.  
Now that he's more clear headed he's back with his sexual tension toward Louis, and he's glad and frustrated at the same time.  
"Uhm...o-okay...well, I'm going...yeah, home. Yeah? Yeah, okay."  
Now Harry doesn't know what happened, but he's nervous all of a sudden. And it's a different kind of nervous.  
Louis' still thinking about Harry's rough voice -it seems like he just finished deep throating- and he wants to wake Harry up every single day of his life.  
"As you prefer. Didn't want to make you feel nervous, though." says Louis, while caressing Harry's arms.  
Harry relaxes at that -and at the same time gets even more nervous.  
"No, it's fine. Wait, what time is it?" Harry asks, and when Louis says it's half past seven, Harry almost jumps.  
"Shit."  
Before Louis can asks what's wrong, though, Harry's already putting his shoes back on and grabbing his phone and keys.  
He opens the door and calls for Louis, but when Harry turns around to see where Louis is, he almost gets a heart attack.  
Because Louis is way too near him, and Harry's sweating.  
"Oh...u-uhm...I gotta go. Sorry for...yeah, sorry. You can come over whenever you want and I'll make you some tea, again. Sorry." says Harry while he's already exiting Louis' flat and entering his own.  
"Alright, see ya later!" says Louis, and Harry looks at him another time before nodding and closing his door.  
It's been a couple of evenings they've been watching films at Louis', but it doesn't mean Harry can fall asleep on his couch.  
What if Louis is now a murderer? Or a raper? What if he would have cooked Harry?  
Also, Harry has to remind himself he can't get too near Louis, even if he already did and he's trying not to think about it.  
Next time he'll have to be more careful.

 

Harry was waiting for Nick outside his own flat, looking at the cars and people who passed by -he'd returned back home from work-, but when after twenty minutes Nick said he couldn't make it to his place, Harry just sighed and entered the building.  
Actually, this is what Harry's doing now. He's heading to the elevator to finally get home, and that's when Louis sees him.  
Despite Harry, Louis finished working a couple of minutes ago, and he's already at home -well, he's heading to the elevator. When he saw Harry he thought the day couldn't be better.  
Harry enters the elevator, looks for a moment at a man who's looking at his phone, and when Louis joins him, Harry doesn't even notice him.  
He's really tired.  
Louis smirks internally and randomly gets closer to Harry.  
"Sorry, Sir, could you tell me what time is it, please?" Louis asks politely, and Harry's head snaps in Louis' direction.  
Louis chuckles at Harry's wide eyes and looks at his parted lips for a moment.  
Those lips.  
Those lips would be so fucking perfect wrapped around his c-  
"It's almost 7 p.m., Sir." says the man who apparently was looking at his phone, and Harry and Louis look at him.  
When Louis looks back at Harry he wants to laugh so bad because of his face.  
Harry clearly wasn't expecting this.  
"Thank you." Louis says, smiling at the man -he's good looking but nothing compared to Harry -of course.  
The man nods once and smiles back, "No problem."  
Harry looks at the man and then at Louis, and -for fuck's sake- why is he pissed off? Why did this man replied to Louis, when Louis clearly was referring the question to Harry?  
Louis seems to notice Harry's change of mood, and he smirks at him.  
Is he getting jealous?  
Louis doesn't want to keep his hopes up, so he refuses to give himself an answer.  
He doesn't know what to think about Harry. But that's another story.  
Well, actually, not.  
The point is, Harry's pissed off all of a sudden and so Louis -who doesn't think there's a possibility of Harry loving him back and hates everything for this reason- does the most logical thing that pops into his mind.  
He leans closer to Harry and slightly touch his ear with his nose, making Harry actually jump.  
Louis silently chuckles and touch Harry's ear again.  
And Harry feels like all the anger and whatever he had before is now vanished, because -because Louis fucking touched his ear with the tip of his nose in front of a stranger, and- Harry thinks he can touch the sky.  
Actually, he'd prefer touching Louis.  
"What...what are you doing?" Harry asks, nervous, looking at Louis' amused face.  
"I'm just trying to get your attention, since I asked you a question and you didn't reply. Weren't you a good boy?" Louis whispers the last part -still in Harry's ear, and Harry's dick twitches in his boxers.  
Harry thinks Louis didn't actually tell him such a turn on on an elevator, with a good looking man who occasionally sends looks at the two of them.  
Maybe Harry too tired, at the point he's having hallucinations.  
And, honestly, Louis doesn't know what he's doing, he just had to remind Harry who he belongs to.  
Because Harry belongs to Louis -and vice versa, of course- no matter what.  
"I...I mean...uhm..." Harry tries to say something, but doesn't really succeed.  
As much as he's aware of the fact Louis took advantage of him when he was younger, right now Harry can't help it but wish the man in front of him wouldn't be  in here so that Louis could fuck him on this elevator's door.  
Thinking about Louis fucking him is just making Harry's dick -pressed on his jeans- harder.  
It's pretty noticeable.  
At least, that's what Louis thinks.  
He knew he would have got Harry hard, and he loves it.  
He has the power to turn on this sex god in front of him.  
The man who was looking at the phone -very interested in Louis and Harry's actions- quickly replies to a call and leaves the elevator.  
Harry feels slighlty relieved and he ignores Louis' comment, pressing the button that will bring the elevator to his -and Louis'- flat.  
Louis looks at Harry's butt for a couple of seconds when the green-eyed sex god heads to the opposite wall's direction, and licks his lips when the elevator's doors closes.  
There are countles things Louis'd like to do to Harry right now.  
In the meanwhile, Harry turns around to face Louis, trying not to think about Louis fucking him.  
Hard.  
On a wall.  
Whispering in his ear how good he is.  
Harry's also trying to remind himself what Louis did to him, but there's a part of him that really doesn't care.  
"Oh, so today you don't want to open your mouth for me?" Louis asks, silently chuckling at what he's saying.  
Harry clears his throat.  
"Louis. You're not funny." says Harry, trying to maintain a steady voice.  
"Well, that's what you get when you ignore me, isn't it?"  
Harry snorts, and Louis chuckles.  
"So? What time is it?"  
Harry looks at Louis.  
He never stopped.  
"It's time for you to go fuck yourself."  
Harry doesn't know why, but he feels like he can say those things. Even if he's been seeing Louis for just a week, the two of them get on really well, without counting the sexual tension.  
"Alright, hold on a sec." says Louis, pretending to zip off his jeans.  
"What are you doing? Didn't mean you could do it in front of me!" says Harry, getting more nervous, but slightly smiling.  
"As if you wouldn't like to see me while-"  
"Louis. You said enough. Now just shut up, yeah? And, hi, by the way." says Harry, trying to get rid of the situation.  
He really is overwhelmed by what Louis has been telling him since he got in the elevator.  
Fucking elevator, thanks for your existence.  
"Alright, alright. Was just kidding, of course. You know, you don't have to take me seriously. Even if I'm talking about the death of a piece of shit. I mean the piece of shit that comes out your butthole."  
Harry chuckles and slightly slaps Louis' chest.  
Shit, it's hard.  
Almost as hard as Harry's dick is now.  
"You idiot."  
"So, why don't you push the button? So that I can go eating."  
Harry frowns in confusion. Oh. Did he forgot to press it? The elevator didn't move of an inch.  
"Thought I did."  
Harry presses the buttom again, but the elevator won't move. He tries with the other buttons, and now it's obvious the elevator doesn't work.  
"Harry?"  
"Yeah, Louis, yeah, what." says Harry, trying to understand where's the problem.  
"What are you doing? Just press the button and that's it."  
Louis presses the button of the elevator, but nothing happens.  
So, Louis presses the button again, and at the fifth time he looks at Harry.  
Harry looks at him and then at the buttons. He presses the number again, but the elevator seems to be blocked.  
"Alright, we're stucked." says Harry, but the two of them don't seem to be bothered by being stucked in an elevator, together.  
"Guess we are."  
"Uhm...what are we supposed to do? Should we call someone?" asks Harry, and Louis looks at the emergency button.  
He presses it and then looks back at Harry.  
"Here. I think now we just have to wait."  
Harry nods and sits down on the floor, looking at Louis.  
Louis looks at him, then he sits down as well, brushing his right leg on Harry's left one, and Harry looks at the wall in front of him. Why is he feeling so awkward?  
"So, what did you do today?" Louis asks, still looking at Harry.  
He can't help it but look at Harry. It's like his eyes are glued on him.  
"Well...after I realized I was sleeping in my neighbour's place I got up and rushed to my home, and I almost missed work. I just worked the whole day, and now I'm stucked in an elevator with an idiot. What about you?"  
Louis chuckles at Harry, and nods. "Very, very interesting. I woke up on the floor feeling a bit sore and then I found out it was because of an idiot who was sleeping on my couch. Thank you very much." Louis says, and Harry looks at him, smiling.  
That fucking smile is making Louis' body feeling like it's floating.  
Really.  
"So you were sore because of me, eh?" asks Harry, now smirking.  
Louis smirks back, "Well, yeah. You'd been quite harsh with me. And I was on the floor."  
As if Harry's cock wasn't already hurting.  
Louis smirks even wider when Harry awkwardly changes the positions of his legs.  
Louis knows how Harry's feeling, he's trying not to make obvious his cock is getting harder, too.  
"Harry, you okay?" Louis asks, trying to sound innocent.  
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to be harsh. Hope you're feeling better." Harry says, clearing his throat at the end of the sentence.  
Harry's looking back at the wall now.  
"Yeah, I'm feeling better, thanks. Don't worry about that. But next time is your turn, yeah?"  
Harry nods and then looks at him, "Louis...uhm...seriously...did...we...I don't know...uhm..." Harry's actually struggling, his mind won't find the right words.  
He's getting too nervous. As much as he wants Louis to kiss him, touch him and fuck him, he doesn't really want it to happen, because he fears Louis will cheat on him -again.  
So he'll just spend his time thinking about Louis doing things to him, things that will never happen because Harry won't let Louis use him again.  
But Louis seems to be so nice now...  
"Harry, I told you, we didn't fuck or something. You were extremely tired at some point and me, too. You don't remember we fucked 'cause we actually didn't."  
Harry relaxes at that.  
Louis thinks Harry's the most beautiful human being he's ever seen, by the way.  
But he likes to embarass him, so he's not done yet.  
"Why do you care so much about it? Wish I'd fucked you?"  
Harry chuckles nervously, "Not at all." he says, but he doesn't sound sure about it.  
Louis chuckles too, "Just kidding."  
Yeah, sure.  
Harry clears his throat again, feeling more uncomfortable because, of course Louis was joking, he'll never want Harry. But Harry doesn't care, because he doesn't really want Louis. This is just a phase. It's just a little, worthless crush he got just because Louis and Harry used to date.  
And because Harry is an idiot.  
Oh, and of course Louis wasn't kidding at all.  
He's always serious when he talks to Harry, even if it makes a lot of things sound as jokes.  
Louis means everything he says to this adorable green-eyed young man.  
Maybe one day he'll be able to be someone for Harry, in addiction to be a friend? Louis' looking forward to it.  
But he doubts Harry will trust him again.  
This is what really makes him serious.  
"Harry?"  
Harry looks at Louis, waiting for him to speak.  
They stayed silent for something like ten minutes and, alright.  
"I'm really sorry for the way I treated you." Louis says, and Harry's heartbeat speeds up.  
Uhg.  
He doesn't want to talk about this as much ss he wants to.  
So he keeps his mouth shut.  
Louis sighs when he gets Harry's not going to speak.  
"I always think about it. Always think about the things I could have done not to make you feel like shit. I have so many regrets, Harry, I swear. You're at the top of the list."  
When Harry processes Louis' words, he honestly wants to cry. He misunderstood everything. Louis regrets his past relationship with Harry. That means Louis had never wanted to be with Harry, not even for sex.  
That sucks.  
Louis notices Harry looked down and realizes what he just said.  
"Shit, Harry, didn't mean to sound like that. I mean, I don't regret being with you, I regret what I did and how I acted towards you. I hate myself for that. Every single day of my life I used to wake up and think about how shitty I was. Lately I didn't think about it right when I got up, but I'd think about it eventually during tha day. And in these past few days I've been thinking about it again. Maybe this is not the right time to say stuff like that, maybe it's too early. I just had to say it, sorry." says Louis, bloody serious, and Harry almost forgets to breath.  
This time.  
This time Harry's sure Louis is serious because of the tone of his voice, his serious expression, his voice lower, his body stiffened.  
And, wow.  
Harry wants to believe Louis so bad.  
"I know you're not trusting me, but I swear I'm serious. Just wanted to clarify it." Louis sighs.  
He's slightly relieved he told those things to Harry.  
After a while, Harry finally speaks up, and his heartbeat is so fast his voice is trembling.  
"It's okay, Lou. I mean, I know you felt guilty. Realized it the day you went to my school and talked to me. Of course I didn't know if you were being serious or not, but I believed in you. And now, really, it doesn't matter anymore." says Harry, and both him and Louis knows they shouldn't be telling all these intimate things, but they can't help it. Now it's the right time to have this conversation.  
It's right now, or never.  
Louis sighs again, "So everything's okay between us? I know I already asked you, but I just want to be sure. Don't want you to struggle through it." says Louis, lowering his voice.  
Harry looks into his eyes, and he swears there's something different in them. Louis seems actually concerned. Is it true that eyes reflect the soul?  
Can Harry trust Louis?  
Harry fights back a smile.  
"Don't worry. I apprecciate you want to make sure I'm okay. In a friendly way, of course. Actually, I think it's good we live in the same building now." says Harry, and Louis smirks, back with his usual mood.  
"Yeah, I know you've been waiting for it your whole life." Louis sounds as if he's joking, again, but he's the one who had waited for years to meet Harry again, and never had the guts to send him a text. He just could't.  
He couldn't send him a text, or dial his number to have a quick call.  
He didn't want a quick call.  
And, guess what, Harry felt the same exact way towards him.  
"Exactly. Now I'm just so happy to have a neighbour so, so lovely." says Harry, his voice sarcastic.  
Sarcasm helps a lot in awkward situations.  
Use sarcasm, avoid awkwardness, relax.  
Doesn't it feel good?  
Yes, it does.  
"Same here, neighbour."  
Louis places a hand on top of Harry's leg, moving his palm a little. Harry stiffens.  
"I like this material, it's soft." says Louis, trying not to smirk at Harry's reaction (erection).  
Louis innocently looks at Harry, who's trying to say something.  
"It's...just..." Harry wants to keep going, but he doesn't want Louis to remove his hand, so he just stays silent and tries to act cool.  
"What?" Louis asks, and Harry takes a deep breath, looking at Louis' hand.  
Should he remove Louis' hand? Yes.  
Does he want to remove Louis' hand? No.  
All right.  
"Nothing...I forgot...what I was going to tell you. Never mind."  
It's just a hand.  
On his thigh.  
Near his dick.  
Louis' hand.  
Yeah, it's just Louis' hand on his thigh, near his dick.  
It's just-  
"You'll have to buy me those jeans so. How is it possible they're so soft?" Louis keeps teasing, and Harry should stop thinking about Louis' hand.  
Because, Louis could just slide his hand closer to Harry's pelvis, and in no time he could touch Harry, he could zip off his fly, take Harry's dick out of its boxers and -and Louis- he could jerk Harry off, or take Harry's dick in his mouth, and suck on it, making Harry go crazy, and-  
Harry has to stop this. A minute ago they were talking about serios stuff that dealt with their lives, and now they're back with the unbearable sexual tention?  
How?!  
Harry moves awkwardly on the floor, trying to adjust his dick without touching it, but it's impossible.  
He just makes the situation worse.  
Louis looks at him, amused.  
"Harry?"  
Harry almost jumps, "What? Yeah, sure." he says, oblivious to what Louis' been saying in these past few seconds.  
Louis clears his throat to cover his smirk, and removes his hand off Harry's leg.  
"Glad you will." he says, and Harry's confused.  
What did Louis tell?  
Why is he glad?  
When are they going to be free?  
When is Harry going to be able to jerk himself off?  
Being stucked on an elevator with Louis Tomlinson isn't the best thing ever, Harry realizes.  
Especially if Louis Tomlinson is your ex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Leave a kudo/comment and let me know what you think about this story, yeah? ThanK yOu so mUch for Your LAst Views And KUDos bTw (really apprecciate 'em, trust me) ~


	38. September 22nd, 2016

"So? What about your love life, mh?" Louis asks Harry, pretending this is not a sensitive topic.  
It's funny how Louis used to pretend he felt something for Harry when he was dating him, while now he has to pretend he doesn't feel anything.  
Harry lets out a nervous laugh and clears his throat when he looks at Louis, who's staring at him as if asking if he's okay.  
"What is it?" Harry asks, making Louis smile.  
"You idiot. C'mon, I'm serious." Louis says, and Harry pretends to be surprised, putting a hand on his chest and slighlty parting his lips.  
"Me too!"  
Louis chuckles and desperately tries not to look at Harry's lips.  
"No, you're not." Louis says. He wants to know if Harry is single or not. He needs to know everything about Harry's life.  
"Yeah. And, oh, I just wanted to ask you something. Are you married?"  
Harry asks.  
Louis frowns in confusion, "No, why?"  
Harry tries not to look relieved -or at least not as relieved as he is.  
"Thought you were. Even if I've never seen your 'soul mate'. Or...a ring. Alright, that was a stupid question, I'm just embarassing myself and I should shut up." Harry says, and Louis smiles at how adorable this angel is.  
"Yeah, exactly. You're getting better, though. At least you know when you have to shut up." Louis says, ruffling Harry's hair with his hand.  
He has to touch Harry once in a while, no matter where.  
He just feels the need to be near Harry, physically and mentally (he does know it sounds cheeky, but still).  
"Yeah, thanks. So, what about you? You have a boyfriend?" Harry asks, trying to act cool.  
He clears his throat after a second.  
He wants to know everything about Louis. Absolutely everything.  
"Ah, yeah, there's this boy, you know, really cute and funny I saw two weeks ago or something like that." says Louis, looking into Harry's green -marvellous- eyes.  
Louis is talking about Harry, of course.  
Harry tries to avoid the stab he felt in his chest and how fast his heartbeat is beating, and fakely smiles, oblivious to Louis' plan. "Oh? What's his name?"  
Harry clears his throat again, trying to calm down.  
He actually feels like he could start crying. Right now.  
Louis looks concerned for a moment -he saw Harry's expression- but quickly pretends he's completely okay -it's not like his heart is beating faster just because he saw Harry react negatively. He hoped Harry would have understood who Louis was referring to.  
"Don't know. Saw him at work and that was it. Now, seriously, what about you?" Louis says, leaning closer to Harry and putting his hand on Harry's knee.  
They're sitting on Louis' couch now, pretending to watch a film, while they actually are looking at each other, completely ignoring the TV.  
"Well," Harry clears his throat again, trying to make his voice sound normal, when an idea pops into his mind, "Actually, there's a really interesting boy I saw the other day, you know? He seems to be funny. I'm...looking forward to get to know him." Harry says referring to Louis, without making it sound obvious, and Louis wasn't expecting to feel so shitty at Harry's statement.  
So there's someone else?  
Oh, nice.  
"Ah, yeah? He is? Glad. Really glad, Harry. I'm sure he'll notice you, if he didn't already." Louis says, trying to smile.  
Harry nods, "Yeah, sometimes he looks at me, sometimes I look at him, you know. "  
Harry gives Louis a knowing look, which the man doesn't seem to get.  
Instead, Louis nods as well, looking down for a moment.  
He can't believe he actually thought about the possibility of Harry and him together. Of course Harry has others plans, he can't think about a relationship with someone who used him and cheated on him. Man, Louis had been really mean and disrespectful with Harry.  
What a piece of shit.  
By the way, when Louis looks back at Harry's eyes, the green-eyed boy is looking at Louis' hand.  
"Oh, sorry. I just- When I'm comfortable with my friends I usually get quite touchy, you know..." Louis removes his hands off Harry's knee.  
Harry looks at him, and Louis can see there's something different in his eyes already. Did Harry want Louis to keep his hand on his knee?  
Or is it just Louis' imagination?  
"Don't worry, I know. As long as it's in a friendly way, it's okay." Harry says, and he thinks that the term 'friendly' and 'ex-boyfriend' are just irreconcilable.  
But he has to pretend he sees Louis as a friend, so.  
"Yeah, sure. Okay, then. And I'm really glad about it. Tell me when something important happens, I want to know." Louis' voice is a little bit uncertain, Harry thinks, but maybe it's just an impression.  
And why is Harry feeling so sad?  
"Sure." Harry says, and he can't help it but think about how stupid he was.  
There was a stupid, little, tiny part of his mind that actually thought Louis could feel something real toward him.  
Harry doesn't know how he came up with it.  
He just knows it was pointless, because of course Louis doesn't like Harry.  
Everything Louis has been doing for days now, every word, joke or touch he directed to Harry was just in a friendly way.  
Harry made sure to remind himself to be careful and not to get too near Louis, but apparently he didn't succeeded in it.  
He's an idiot.  
And Louis feels as bad as Harry does.  
How is it possible that after the way Louis had treated Harry and fooled him, Harry's still so fucking attached to Louis? Why can't Harry move on? Why?  
"Hey? What's wrong?" Louis asks, seeing Harry's torn expression.  
He's actually concerned, and when Harry looks at Louis and sees it, Harry feels better.  
At least Louis is a nice friend, isn't he?  
"It's nothing. I just thought about something and my mood dropped down. It's nothing." Harry says, his voice lower.  
Now Louis wishes he'd never asked Harry about his love life. Did something bad happened to Harry? Did someone hurt him? Oh, yeah, that was Louis six years ago.  
Right.  
"You can tell me anything, you know. Told you I want to start everything all over again. As friends."  
Harry slighlty smiles at Louis, "Yeah, I know. Me too. And thanks, Louis." Harry sighs, "I think it's pretty late now. Should go to sleep."  
Harry stands up and runs a hand through his hair.  
He doesn't know what time it is, but he knows he needs to get away from here as soon as possible.  
Louis stands up immediately, looking at him, "Wait..."  
Harry turns around and looks at Louis, at those beautiful eyes which have the power to make Harry's heartbeat speed up.  
Harry takes a deep breath.  
Why is Louis looking concerned? What happened now? "Wait...I...uhm..."  
Harry swears this is the first time Louis doesn't know what to say. He always seem to be so sure about the things he says and does, Harry is actually surprised by Louis change of mood.  
Their moods changed almost at the same time, and both of them can't explain why.  
"Louis, you okay?" Harry asks, now it's his turn to be concerned.  
Louis nods, "Yeah, sure. I just- Want to make sure you're okay. You don't seem to be."  
Harry's heart is feeling slightly better at Louis' statement.  
At least Louis cares about him, and Harry has no doubts he does, because if Louis sees Harry as a friend, then he has no reason to take advantage of him.  
This isn't as bad as it seemed to be, after all.  
"I'm totally okay. Just tired, that's it. Don't worry."  
Harry heads to Louis' door, and Louis follows him.  
He doesn't believe Harry.  
Not at all.  
"Harry, wait..."  
Harry turns around again, looking at Louis with teary eyes.  
Louis is even more concerned.  
"Yeah?" Harry needs to go to his flat and cry, he can't stay here anymore.  
Why Louis doesn't let him go?  
"If you need something, or someone to talk to, I'm here, alright?" Louis says, looking straight into Harry's eyes, and Harry nods, feeling slightly better.  
"Thanks."  
Louis opens his door and looks at Harry, and Harry walks out Louis' flat.  
Louis makes sure to brush his hand on Harry's arm, feeling the butterflies all around and inside him.  
Harry stops for a moment, not sure of what just happened, but then decides to screw it, so he slighlty touches Louis' arm with his hand.  
He wants to hug Louis' body tight on him and cuddle and be the little spoon. Now.  
But he can't. He clearly can't.  
"See you tomorrow, yeah?" Louis asks, and Harry nods.  
"Sure. Good night." Harry looks another time at Louis, then he walks to his door and opens it.  
Louis looks at him for another second, and then closes his door.  
He leans on his door and closes his eyes, thinking about how stupid he was.  
He could have avoided the love life topic and spend a beautiful evening with Harry -as always- but no, he had to act selfish and ask Harry details about his life because he was curious. And now he's even more curious because he doesn't know what had happened and why Harry reacted like he did. He refuses to think Harry was feeling sad because of what Louis had said about his life.  
The sexual tension between the two of them is a completely different thing, so he doesn't care now if he made Harry horny. This is something else. It's something way more important than a stupid orgasm he can have with anyone else. This is Harry. Harry Styles. This is about Louis' feeling and- just Louis and Harry as a couple. A lovely couple who'll never exist.  
Because -because Harry apparently sees Louis as a friend.

 

When the following day Harry dials Nick's number, he just have to wait a couple of seconds before Nick picks up the phone.  
"Hey, honey baby love of my life." Nick says, making Harry smile.  
Feeling sad?  
Call Nick.  
"Hey...uhm...I have to tell you something...I mean, I just want to see you. Can you come over?" Harry asks, his voice almost cracks  
"Harry, you okay?"  
"Yeah, Nick, of course. Can you come to my place?"  
"Oh, shit. Don't tell me. He fucked you. Or you gave him a blowjob. Or vice versa. Wait, are you pregnant?" Nick asks, trying to sound funny.  
He knows Harry's not feeling really well from the way he's speaking, so he tries to relieve the tension.  
"Nick, I can't get pregnant. Didn't your parents told you? Men can't get pregnant, in real life. Remember?"  
Nick smirks, "Yeah, yeah, I know, don't worry. A couple of girls I used to fuck got pregnant, now that I think about it. Just girls." Nick says casually, and Harry wants to slap him.  
"What?! You're not serious. At least I hope so for your own sake."  
"I'm not serious now but I'm a serious boy. I'd never randomly get random girls pregnant. No, it's just I'm gay, actually. Oh, alright, wait. What did you ask me...ah, right, yeah, gonna come over in half an hour, yeah?"  
Harry feels better just at the thought of Nick coming over.  
"Thanks, Nick. See you later." Harry hangs up not even waiting for an answer.  
Nick looks at his phone, confused. Why did Harry sound so serious?'

 

Forty five agonizing minutes later, Nick finally arrives at his destination, so Harry opens the door, Nick enters the flat and heads for the living room, then he lays on the couch and catches his breath. He'd run for five minutes and now his breath doesn't even exist anymore. He's glad he's on a couch now. And it's not a normal couch, it's Harry's comfy, soft, lovely couch. In the meanwhile, Harry closes the door and follows Nick in the living room. He smiles when he sees him, because of course Nick is layed on his couch.  
"I think there's something between you and that couch. Deep feelings." Harry says, and Nick hugs a pillow.  
"Yeah, can't you see it? We love each other. And this -Nick lifts the pillow up- is our beautiful child. Now tell me what happened." Nick looks at Harry, who sits near him, on the floor.  
He stares at his hands for a moment, and then speaks up.  
"I'm so fucked, Nick..."  
Nick snorts, "So he did fuck you."  
"He didn't" says Harry, feeling a shiver run down his spine just at the thought of Louis.  
He already misses him.  
Harry wants to be on the couch with Louis and look at his amazing light-blue eyes and let Louis touch his arm or his thigh -if Harry is lucky.  
"Yes, he did."  
"He didn't"  
"Yeah, he did."  
"Nick. I'm going to jump on you. In two seconds."   
"Go ahead, honey."  
Harry smiles and lays on Nick, tucking his head on Nick's collarbone.  
"So you just jumped on me? Shit, that was rough." Nick says, and Harry chuckles.  
"Uhm...didn't want to. Too many efforts."  
"Yeah, sure, Harry. So?"  
Harry takes a deep breath and thinks about the things he has to tell Nick.  
"Maybe I should stop talking to him. And thinking about him. I shouldn't have talked to him in the first place." Harry says, his voice muffled.  
"Harry, I told you to live your life and now...? What's the matter?"  
"He likes someone else. And I told him I like someone, too. And I don't know why I'm feeling like shit and I can't stop thinking about it. I don't want Louis to like someone who isn't me, and I don't want him to kiss somebody else. And of course he can't fucking have sex with somebody else. I can't stand it." Harry says, and Nick sighs at the puppy voice Harry's using.  
He doesn't even do it intentionally, he just talks like that when he gets really sad.  
"It's just...I mean, I...I kind of care about him. As a friend, of course. I want him to stay with me, that's it. We could be really good friends..." Harry says, lying to Nick and himself.  
"Don't be an idiot. I know you can't help it, but at least try not to make it obvious. That you're an idiot, I mean."  
Harry slighlty smiles. He loves Nick to the supermarket and back.  
And the supermarket is far away from Harry's new flat.  
"You can't be a friend for Louis as much as he can't be. And you know it. Just, say it. Say it out loud, it'll help."  
Harry looks at him, sitting on Nick's quads.  
"What? Idon'tlikehim." Harry says, quickly.  
"Yes, you do."  
"No, I don't."  
"Yeah, you do."  
"I don't."  
"You do. Yes, you do. You spent something like twenty minutes talking about Louis the other day, bet you didn't even realize it. And you look at him as if he's your only source of food and life in general." Nick says, smirking at Harry.  
"Well, I don't like him. Not at all. I mean, I like him as a friend. That's it. We get on well and it's nice."  
Nick takes Harry's hand and starts caressing it with his fingertips.  
He knows it makes Harry relax, in fact the following second Harry closes his eyes and his body isn't as tense as it was before.  
Nick truly smiles now. He knows his boy.  
"And by 'get on well', you mean you like kissing him? And, yeah, touching him and so on."  
Harry opens his eyes and looks at Nick, "We didn't kiss."  
Nick sighs again, "Harry, I don't get what's the problem. If you like him, go and fucking tell him. I know you do. You've always liked him, way too much. When you really care about someone you never stop. If you don't like him now, it means you've never did. And, well, it's pretty impossible. I know it."  
Harry sighs.  
Nick is right.  
This piece of shit.  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
"You're asking me too many questions that deal with love. I don't know. I have no idea. Go ask Gemma and she'll know what to do."  
Harry frowns.  
"You're making it sound as if you can't give me advice about it because you have a dick. Nick the dick. You know, you can talk about feelings even if you're a man. A real man talks about his feelings and face them." says Harry, serious.  
Nick bursts into laughter and bends his legs, making Harry lose his balance and fall off to the ground, "You're the one who's not facing your feeling, you idiot."  
"Uhg..." Harry rubs his hand on his shoulder, and Nick realizes what he just did.  
He sits up and looks down at Harry, "Shit, mate, you hurt?"  
Harry lays down on the floor, "Yes, because Louis likes another idiot. Uhg."  
Nick rolls his eyes to the ceiling.  
"Face your feelings, if you're a man." Nick imitates Harry's voice.  
Harry scowls at him, "I'm not a man. I'm just feeling 22."  
"You are 22."  
"Uhg. Whatever. And you're right. I mean, I'm right. I should face my feelings. You know, I didn't realize the things I told you till now. I can do it. I have to face my feelings. And Louis."  
Nick nods, "Good. Now, where's the pizza?"  
Harry looks at him, "You're addicted."  
"I am."  
"Okay, okay, I'm going to call our pizza girl." Harry says, getting up and grabbing his phone, which was on the coffee table.  
"Love you" says Nick, and Harry sighs, smiling at him.  
"Yeah, sure."


	39. September 26th, 2016

Harry's ready to face his feelings.  
He's ready to face Louis.  
He's ready to face Louis' dick, if necessary.  
He's ready.  
It took him a couple of days but now he's ready.  
Harry looks at the mirror in front of him and checks his outfit and his hair. Everything seems to be on point.  
He takes a deep breath, looks at his phone and sees it's almost dinner's time, so Louis has to be at home.  
It took Harry a lot to find the right outfit and now it's not his fault if it's a little bit late. He's sure he won't bother Louis, since he reassured Harry he could visit whenever he wanted to.  
Harry sighs thinking about the last time he saw Louis.  
It was yesterday.  
And Harry tried his best not to notice Louis' hand on his knee -yes, because now Louis puts his hand on Harry's knee, and Harry loves it even more- or Louis' adorable voice, the way it cracks when he talks too loudly, or Louis' eyes and the way they fucking shine.  
Oh, and, Harry tried not to stare too much at Louis' body, but he doesn't think he succedeed in it.  
Actually, Harry failed. He knows he did. He noticed every single move Louis did, every single sparkle in his eyes, every single curve on Louis' body and Harry felt every single heartbeat of his heart, which clearly was beating too fast.  
But now Harry's in front of Louis' door -he was thinking about yesterday while exiting his flat- and, yeah, he's ready.  
He can do this. It's just-  
It's Louis, right? He can do this.  
Louis had took advantage of him and cheated on him, so? Harry wants Louis. He wants Louis for himself and nobody else. He fucking needs Louis, right now. He can of course live by himself, but when he's with Louis everything's better.  
Again, Harry thinks he loves Louis.  
He doesn't care how Louis acted, he wants to give him a second chance. Everybody deserves a second chance. Hell, he'd give Louis all the chances he needed, even if he shouldn't. Now, though, Harry wants to verify Louis is as different as he seems to be.  
So he knocks at Louis' door, and waits.  
He takes a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm down, but his heartbeat won't slow down.  
Guess he has to bare with it.  
A minute later, Harry is in the same position he was a minute ago.  
He takes another deep breath.  
Maybe Louis is taking a shower.  
Maybe Louis is sleeping.  
Harry has to calm down. Louis will eventually open the door.  
He has to.  
Harry waits right there for ten minutes, thinking about Louis and how much he cares about him, asking himself why he's so attached to Louis of all the people in the world and how he ended up there, in front of Louis' door.  
And then people say fate doesn't exist.  
Oh, please.  
After another minute, Harry sighs and gives up. He was so nervous to see Louis but at the same time so ready that now he's feeling like shit, because everything he planned doesn't have sense if Louis isn't there.  
He goes back to his flat, ignoring all the negative thoughts that are creeping in his mind -at least, he tries to ignore them- and when he's back in his flat, he calls his mother and talks to her for something like twenty minutes. When he hangs up, he feels slightly better, but he still misses Louis.  
He desperately needs to tell Louis what he feels, even if he'll end up ruining their friendship.  
(Even if there's no friendship between them. They both are pretending to be just friends, that's the problem. Harry thinks he's the only one pretending, same thing for Louis.  
In fact, Louis thinks Harry's into somebody who isn't him, while Harry thinks Louis is interested in a co-worker of his.  
They're so focused on this they don't realize the only two idiots in love are the two of them.)

Four hours later, Harry hears Louis' voice from the outside of his flat.  
Harry, who was lazily seated on the couch, quickly stands up and heads to his door. He hears Louis' voice again, and he opens his door as fast as he can.  
Maybe he should have been more careful, but he's desperate to see his little favourite human being.  
Louis' head turns at Harry's direction almost immediately, and Harry misses a heartbeat -Louis, too.  
He can't believe Louis is finally here. He spent days and days thinking about this moment, and now that he achieved enough bravery he can finally tell everything to Louis. Harry can't believe it.  
He's feeling better all of a sudden. And Louis' so beautiful.  
Harry almost runs to Louis and kisses him.  
But then- then Harry notices Louis is with another man.  
And- who's this man and what the fuck is he doing here? With Louis? At midnight?!  
Shit, no, please.  
Harry tries to keep calm.  
Today is just meant to be a bad day apparently.  
He tries so bad not to have a break down, but the more he looks at this stranger, the more he feels worthless.  
So now what, Louis is going to fuck him?  
"Hey, Harry." Louis says, making Harry look at him again.  
"Hi."  
Louis checks Harry out a couple of times, and Harry seems to breath again.  
At least Louis noticed something.  
Because, yes, Harry refused to take his outfit off after all the efforts he did to find the right one.  
"You need anything?" Louis asks, and Harry nods. Then he shakes his head no. Alright.  
"Thought someone knocked at my door, so...no, don't worry."  
"Lou, who's this?" the man asks, looking at Harry. Harry looks at him and then back at Louis.  
He feels like he's a useless piece of garbage.  
"He's Harry." Louis says, looking at Harry.  
The stranger takes Louis' hand in his own and gets closer to him.  
Harry looks at their hands, and, honestly, he feels like the whole words has just collapsed on top of him. He knew Louis liked somebody else, and still, Harry had to keep his hopes up. Again. He's a fucking idiot. And it's also Louis' fault, because Louis confuses him.  
"What you doing?" Louis asks, looking at the man.  
"Nothing? Oh, so, hi, Harry." says the stranger, looking at Harry.  
Harry clears his throat, "U-uhm...hi..."  
Before Harry can say something else, though, Louis speaks.  
He didn't notice Louis' hand slided out the other man's because he's too focused on trying not to cry. He's a very sensitive person, it's not his fault if when he's with Louis his feelings mess up.  
"Harry, I-"  
"Sorry, didn't mean to...I mean...sorry. See you." Harry almost closes his door, but then Louis calls for him.  
"No...wait..."  
Harry of course opens back his door and looks at Louis. He just wanted to look at Louis again.  
"Lou, thought we had plans?" the stranger kisses Louis' jawline, and-  
Harry wants to cry. Did he actually thought to have a chance with Louis? Did Louis tell Harry to wait so that he could see Louis and this stranger snogging? (They're not snogging. Not yet.)  
"Yeah, but...Harry you sure you're okay? Is there something wrong?"  
Louis gets closer to Harry, leaving the stranger alone.  
Wait, what?  
Why aren't they snogging in front of Harry?  
"Of course I am. Have fun." Harry looks at the stranger, and then back at Louis, "See you."  
And before Louis can say something else, Harry closes his door and goes to his bedroom.  
He takes his clothes off and tosses them to the floor. When he's sure he made a mess of everything, he lays on his bed and curls up in a ball.  
And, he didn't want to cry, but tears are just making their way to Harry' cheeks now, and he can't help it.  
He knows he should act as a 22 would, but he just- he can't help it.  
He just hopes the stranger he saw before is not loud in bed, or else Harry will sleep at Nick's, because he refuses to hear them while they're fucking.  
Why when it comes to love everything has to be so difficult for him?

The following day is finally Friday, and Harry wakes up with a terrible headache. He doesn't have the time to asks himself why, because he remembers everything that had happened the day before when he opens his eyes and looks at his phone ringing and Louis' name written on it. So this is why he's up at 6 a.m.  
When he cries a lot and eventually falls asleep, headaches are the first motherfuckers that like bothering Harry in the morning -if he manages to sleep.  
Harry groans and takes his phone, which is on the bedside table, and then quickly picks up.  
As much as he's feeling like shit, he can't help it but feel happy that Louis is at least calling him.  
But why is Louis calling Harry at 6 a.m. after he spent a night with that stranger of yesterday?  
At least Harry didn't hear them fucking. Just the thought of it makes Harry want to throw up. Louis can't fuck other people. He should not be allowed.  
Harry's the limited edition, so Louis can make an exception for him.  
"Harry?"  
Harry's heartbeat speeds up at Louis' voice.  
"Morning." Harry says with his sleepy, hot, and adorable voice.  
Louis feels his body shiver.  
"Sorry, did I wake you up?"  
Louis' voice is so sweet Harry wants to kiss him.  
"Yeah, but don't worry. S'okay."  
Louis thinks Harry's voice is illegal in this moment and he doesn't want to stop listening to it.  
"Sorry. Good morning." says Louis, and there's something different in the way they're talking. In fact, now the tention is noticeable in their voices.  
"Do you...need...anything?" Harry stands up and heads to the kitchen.  
"No. I don't know. I felt like dialing your number." Louis says, and Harry misses a heartbeat.  
He pours himself a cup of water and quickly drinks it.  
Louis can't say stuff like that, or else Harry will keep his hopes up again. Harry hates Louis.  
"At 6 a.m. You were feeling like talking to me." Harry states, as if to make sure he didn't imagine what Louis just said.  
"Yes."  
And then they stay silent for a minute.  
And it's awkward.  
And Harry doesn't accept that.  
Because Louis is making Harry's heartbeat beating too fast and Harry doesn't like it.  
"Did you have fun with your friend from yesterday? Is he the one you're into?" Harry asks, feeling jealous just because he's pronoucing the words.  
Louis chuckles, "Not at all. We were due to do a project for work, thought. He's an old friend of mine, and he likes making people think we're together. Just for fun, you know." Louis says, and he has a flashback from the evening before.  
~ "What do you think you were doing?!" Louis asks right when his friend and him enter the flat. Jacob -his friend- looks innocently at him, "What?"  
Louis takes a deep breath or else he'll punch the shit out of Jacob.  
"You fucking took my hand in yours and pretended I was going to do something sex-related with you. And you kissed my fucking jawline. And Harry was fucking staring at us! How do you think he felt? Mh?"  
Alright, Louis is mad at Jacob. Harry now thinks there's actually someone else in Louis' life and his plans to make Harry understand Louis feels somethig serious for Harry are ruined.  
And it's all Jacob's fault.  
"Oh, was that Harry?" Jacob asks, and Louis takes another deep breath, "You fucking knew it was Harry!" Louis exclaims, even if he's trying to keep his voice low.  
Jacob pretends to be surprised, "Oh, right! Harry! Oh, he's so adorable, and sweet, and cute. And he's so, so hot, I swear I just want to fuck him and cuddle him and fuck him and cuddle him. Oh, and his eyes, they're amazing, Jacob, I swear, they're the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Fook." Jacob mimics Louis' voice and the things Louis usually says to Jacob when he talks about Harry -everyday.  
Louis is going to kill him. "I don't fucking talk like that! And it's not my fault if he's the most beautiful human being on the Earth!"  
Jacob laughs, "You're so funny. Why are you even getting mad? Oh, maybe you didn't want Harry to think now you're fucking me?"  
"I don't understand what's wrong with you. I fucking thought we were friends!?"  
Jacob chuckles, "Louis, calm down, I wasn't serious. You have to make him jealous, though, and then you'll know if he really wants you or not. I'm sure of it, he'll eventually come here and try to make you change your mind. And then you'll fuck him." Jacob says, and Louis groans.  
"He's not like that. He won't come back. I already did a mistake when I cheated on him all those years ago, and now I was trying to make him feel comfortable with me and trust me, but of course you had to ruin my plans. And I hate you." Louis says, sitting on the floor and covering his face with his hands.  
"And what the fuck is he doing now? If he's crying, I swear, I'll kill you." Louis says, already getting worried about Harry. He doesn't want Harry to cry because of him. But, Louis saw Harry's expression, he saw how hurt he was, and he hopes Harry is feeling better now. Louis doesn't know how.  
"Ow, no, Harry's crying, my baby, no. I'm going to kill you and me because Harry's crying." Jacob says, still joking.  
Louis stands up and looks at him, "Cut it."  
Louis says, heading to the kitchen.  
"One day you'll thank me, when you and Harry will be fucking in the same kitchen you're entering now."  
Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling, because right now he doesn't care about fucking Harry. He just wants to stay with Harry and make sure he's okay.~  
"Louis?"  
Louis' flashback is interrupted by Harry's voice.  
Oh.  
"Sorry. I was just thinking about how stupid he is. I swear, Harry, he's just a friend." Louis says.  
Harry doesn't know what to think. Maybe Louis is saying the truth. Maybe not. Who fucking knows.  
"You don't have to tell me he's just a friend of yours as if...I'd be mad if he's...someone more i-important." Harry's voice cracks at the and Harry clears his throat to cover it.  
It's too late though, because Louis heard it, and he wishes he didn't.  
Why did Harry voice crack? Shit.  
Is Harry okay?  
"Harry...do you want to come over? Just to have breakfast, if you want to." Louis says, hoping for a yes. He wants to make sure Harry's not crying, and try to make him feel better. He'd do anything for Harry, really.  
Harry bites his lower lip and takes a deep breath. This situation is making Harry feel really stressed out and anxious about Louis, so right now it's not a surprise he's holding his tears back. He's too nervous to talk to Louis.  
"Can't." Harry says, and Louis' mood drops completely down. Louis hopes the reason why Harry doesn't sound as happy as he usually does isn't because Louis was with Jacob yesterday. They really had to do a work project, but they ended up at Louis' at midnight because they first had dinner with theirs co-workers.  
"Oh, alright. Hope you're okay. Let me know if you need something, yeah? I'm here." Louis says, and Harry for a moment wants to believe him.  
But no. He won't. He can't trust Louis again.  
He just can't.  
Honestly, he doesn't know what to do.  
"See you." Harry says, and, again, he doesn't let Louis finish his sentence, because he hangs up.  
He knows it's childish, but he doesn't care.

When Harry's on his break at work, another plan pops into his mind, which maybe will help him feeling better.  
The last boyfriend he's had -whose Harry broke up five months ago- sends Harry texts once in a while. They actually text once in a while. So Harry still has their chat, and now he's reading his ex-boyfriend's last text over and over again.  
'You know, you can call me when you're lonely. Just a quick call, and I'll be glad to see you again. Even if it's just for a night. Miss you.' says the text, and Harry doesn't care about the consequences of what he's doing. He just knows he sent his ex a text, asking him when they can see each other again.  
And the point is, his ex -Martin- calls Harry after a couple of minutes.  
Harry stares at the phone and takes a deep breath, and then he picks up the phone. He shouldn't be so affected by Louis. So why now Harry feels like he's cheating? It's just a phone call, for fuck's sake.  
"Hey..." says Martin, and Harry kind of smiles.  
"Hey, there."  
Martin chuckles, "You're nervous." Martin says, and Harry truly smiles.  
Don't get him wrong, he doesn't feel anything for Martin anymore -Harry was the one who broke up with him- but hearing his voice again makes Harry feel better. He missed him, after all.  
"You're right. Uhm...I just wanted to...see you again. But...you know, it's not because...uhm..." Harry can't speak English language anymore.  
"What's wrong?"  
Martin knows him way too much.  
Harry looks around him and makes sure nobody's listening his conversation.  
"Nothing. But you said I could have called you if I was feeling lonely. And, well, I thought about you." Harry says.  
He doesn't know why he's doing it. He usually doesn't fuck around, but he needs someone to fuck him so that maybe he won't think about Louis again, and Martin is the most intimate person he can think about.  
"Alright, I think this evening I'll be up for it. Didn't have anything planned anyways."  
Harry's feeling too nervous. Is he actually calling his ex so that they can fuck?  
"Okay. You can come to my place. I'll send you the adress."  
"Did you move in?" Martin asks.  
"Yeah. You can have dinner at my place, so just show up around seven." Harry says, feeling guilty.  
He doesn't like what he's doing, but he's desperate to delete Louis from his mind.  
"Alright, Haz, see you later." Martin says, and Harry says the same thing before hanging up.  
He takes a deep breath and thinks about what he just did for a moment.  
He's clearly an idiot.

Harry takes a deep breath when he hears someone rang the doorbell and heads to the door of his flat. He takes another deep breath and opens the door, and for a moment he just stares at Martin without saying a word.  
"Hi, Haz." Martin smiles, and Harry smiles, too, because Martin has always been a lovely person and now that Harry thinks about it, maybe he did the right thing.  
"Uhm...hi."  
Harry opens the door wider and lets Martin enter the flat.  
He closes the door and turns around, looking at Martin, who's taking his coat off.  
Harry clears his throat, feeling embarassed at Martin, but then his ex smiles again, and Harry relaxes, because he knows that Martin is just trying to make him feel comfortable.  
Harry clamps his lips awkwardly and takes Martin's coat, hanging it on the coat hanger.  
Harry's so nervous and focused on the coat -don't ask him why- that when Martin puts a hand on his shoulder, Harry actually jumps.  
"Haz, sorry. Calm down, though, I'm not eating you alive. I'd kill you first, you know." Martin says, removing his hand off Harry's shoulder.  
Harry looks at him and slighlty smiles.  
"Sorry, I'm...just...sorry..." Harry takes another deep breath.  
"It's okay, Haz. So, what's up?" Martin asks, and Harry runs his hand in his hair.  
"Just wanted to know how you're doing." Harry says, and Martin stares at Harry's eyes.  
He missed Harry's eyes the most.  
"I know there's something that bothers you. Just tell me."  
"Okay, but dinner's ready." Harry says, trying to avoid the topic.  
"Uh, you cooked for me?" Martin asks, and Harry thinks he should stop inviting his exes at home. It isn't healthy.  
Hopefully Martin isn't flirting.  
Harry's 22 and he still can't recognise when somebody is flirting or just randomly trying to have a random conversation.  
"Yeah, wanted to poison you. Maybe I shouldn't have said it. Did I just ruin my plans?" Harry asks, and Martin chuckles.  
"Guess you did, Haz."  
They enter the kitchen and Harry sets the pasta in their plates, and they start eating.  
"What's that? I like it." Martin says after a while, and Harry feels relieved. He spent a lot of time trying to cook this new plate, and if Martin says he likes it at least Harry did something right.  
And he's glad.  
"Mh...the italian name is pasta il forno. No, wait...I think it's...alright, no, it's pasta al forno. Yeah." Harry says, struggling with his memory.  
"Pasta al forno? What does it mean?" Martin asks, still eating.  
"As you can see it's pasta-"  
Martin interrupts Harry, "Oh, wow, Harry, thank you."  
They both chuckle.  
"So, it's basically pasta with tomatoes and mozzarella baked. It has a different taste than the normal pasta for this reason, and I really like the consistency of both tomato and mozzarella." Harry says, before taking another bite of his meal.  
Martin nods, "Sounds sofisticate. Thank you for have baked the pasta. Love it."  
Harry smiles again and keeps eating, and when Martin asks for another serving, Harry isn't thinking about Louis being with someone else anymore: this is the power of food and a good friend-his ex, but, alright, this is not the point.

Now that Harry thinks about it, he's glad he's been keeping in touch with Martin, or else the situation they are in now would have been really awkward.  
"Will you tell me why you were so frustrated on the phone and before you and me could eat the baked pasta?"  
Harry chuckles, because Martin has been calling 'baked pasta' the pasta al forno, when it clearly isn't its right name -which is not even in English, so.  
But then Harry thinks about Louis and he's feeling sad again.  
"Haz...I'm sorry, but...you know you can trust me." Martin says, and Harry nods.  
"I know. It's just...I don't want you to think I'm using you. But...Louis..."  
Martin sighs and looks at Harry, "Come here, Haz."  
Martin points at the spot near him on the couch -he's now seated on Harry's couch (Nick's beloved).  
Harry looks at Martin for a moment.  
Martin knows about Louis because Harry dated Martin for eight months, so they talked about their past relationships.  
"Come here. I want to tell you something."  
Harry takes a deep breath and sits down near Martin.  
"We're just hanging out as we usually do. Don't worry, I know you're not using me. We're just talking, Haz."  
Harry looks at Martin, "Yeah, but...I want to make sure you know I don't want to use you. You know I'm...I mean...I'd never do that." Harry says, lowering his voice.  
Martin slighlty smiles, "I know, Haz. Don't worry. So you still thinking about him?"  
Harry looks down. This is actually turning out as something awkward, since Harry broke up with Martin because at some point he was thinking about Louis way too much and he didn't want to involve Martin in his fucked-up life.  
Harry slowly nods and starts telling Martin what happened.  
Martin stares at Harry for a couple of seconds after he finishes talking.  
He cares so much about Harry he doesn't care he's talking about another man. Honestly, he just wants Harry to be happy.  
"What I'm going to say may sound really selfish of me. But, I think you should stop thinking about him. If he's into someone else, all the efforts you're going to do will be worthless." Martin says, and Harry nods.  
"That's what I thought. I'm so fucked up. I mean, I shouldn't talk about this with you. Sorry, I just...I don't know what I was thinking when I called you. Shouldn't have done it. Really, Martin, I'm sorry." Harry says, and Martin puts a hand on Harry's shoulder.  
"Haz, I told you it's okay, yeah?"  
Harry reluctantly nods.  
"Alright. Now, look at me in the eye, Haz." Martin says softly.  
Harry looks at him, and Martin gets closer to him.  
He caresses Harry's shoulder and looks into Harry's green eyes.  
"You want to forget him, right?" Martin asks, and Harry nods again.  
"So why don't you just kiss me?"  
Harry opens his eyes wide, "What? N-no, I don't...I wasn't planning it."  
Well, truth being said, Harry actually planned to kiss Martin and do something to distract him from Louis, but now that Harry's with him he really doesn't feel like doing it.  
"Oh? Is this a friendzone then?" Martin jokingly asks, and Harry slighlty smile.  
"I just...I don't want to use you. That's it. I'm an idiot, sorry. I thought I could do it. I mean, kissing you and stuff. But...if it's like that...just for a night...I'm not sure. Actually, I don't feel comfortable." Harry says, and Martin smirks.  
"If you wanted something more serious you could have just told me, you know." Martin says, still joking.  
He's serious, deep down.  
"Guess I should have told you."  
Martin is now caressing Harry's arm, "So? You don't want to forget Louis?"  
Harry takes a deep breath, "I apprecciate what you're doing, but I couldn't forget Louis when you and me were dating, I don't think I'll stop thinking about him now. Don't want to sound harsh." Harry says, slowly.  
Martin sighs, "If you say so. Your baked pasta was amazing, though. And I missed, just, you know-"  
Martin stops talking right when someone rings the doorbell, and Harry is paralysed for a moment.  
"Haz, I think you should stand up and see who's waiting for you." Martin chuckles, seeing Harry's face.  
"Oh, yeah, right. Uhm. Maybe it's Nick. Don't think so. Shit. Hold on."  
Harry runs to his door and opens it, and when he sees fucking Louis Tomlinson in front of him, he swears his heart starts jumping.


	40. September 26th, 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ thank you for your views and kudos ~  
> So, now.  
> A couple of readers have been complaining about the fact I don't tag correctly my story, saying that I have to use proper tags.  
> \- First of all, you don't tell me what I have to do. Next time just switch your suggestion mode on.  
> \- Second of all, if you don't like my story, you should stop reading it.  
> \- Third of all, I dont want to tag every single detail of my story, or else where would the suspense be? I want to make it a c t u a l l y  interesting.  
> If you don't like it, why are you wasting your time? Why do you even leave comments?  
> I don't think the things I write are causing you nightmares at night, now aren't they?  
> You know, I'm very aware of what I'm doing, there's a reason behind everything I do.  
> I hope there's someone who truly likes/enjoys reading this story, though (since it takes ages to write something decent).  
> If not, well, I do.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone who likes this story, really. I apprecciate you.

Harry is so happy to see Louis again.  
He missed Louis.  
And he wants Louis to miss him.  
Did Louis miss him?  
(Hell, yeah.)  
"Harry." Louis' gentle voice says, and Harry wants to kiss this man in front of him so bad his mouth dries.  
"Uhm...Louis. Is everything okay?" Harry asks, hoping Louis can't hear his heartbeat. His heart is beating so fast he's having some trouble with his breathing. Weird, right?  
Louis nods, "It's just, you know, we- mh...I mean, I wanted to make sure you were still alive since I heard an FBI agent telling a co-worker of his that he wanted to kill you, so." Louis blurts out the first words that pop into his mind, and Harry truly smiles. (Because (a) Louis' adorable and (b) he missed him, if it wasn't already clear.)  
Louis wants to smile too -he almost smiles-, but when he sees another man behind Harry putting his hands on Harry's hips, he doesn't really feel like smiling anymore.  
Actually, he feels like killing this fucking man right now, because how does he dare touching Harry's hips?  
Harry slighlty jumps when he feels Martin's hands on him, and he quickly looks at him, confused.  
Martin looks knowingly at him, and Harry's still confused.  
"Wanna make him jealous?" Martin whispers in Harry's ear with an extremely low voice, so that Louis can't hear him. Harry looks back at Louis, and, why not?  
Martin slowly kisses Harry's ear and looks at Louis, smirking.  
Louis thinks this idiot should stop touching Harry.  
He better stop.  
"Didn't know you had...I don't know, Harry, who is he?"  
Why is Louis feeling as if someone just jumped on his heart and now the blood is everywhere?  
Martin squeezes Harry's hips -just how he used to do before fucking Harry- and Harry tries not to react to the gesture, simply covering Martin's hands with his own.  
Louis looks at their hands, and tries to calm down.  
He doesn't seem to calm down, since he fists his hands till his knuckles become white.  
"Uhm, well, he's-" Harry tries to say.  
"His boyfriend." Martin says, smirking, and Harry blinks a few times.  
He doesn't know what to do. Should he keep looking at Louis while Martin is enjoying his minutes of glory with Harry, or should he tell Louis this is all fake and kiss him?  
On the other hand, Louis knows what to do. He'll just puch the shit out of this idiot. What did he call himself? Harry's boyfriend? Well, he won't be able to be Harry's boyfriend anymore once that Louis puts his hands on him.  
Not in a positive way.  
Louis then tries to smile, and actually manages.  
"Oh? Wow, that was fast." Louis says, looking at Harry, and Martin raises an eyebrow at him.  
"Uhm...yeah...he...I mean, he told me he...never mind." Harry says, and Martin chuckles.  
Louis looks at Martin for a moment.  
He'll make sure Martin won't be able to chuckle again.  
Now, Louis isn't a violent person, but when he has to be, he doesn't have trouble with it.  
And Harry is totally worth it.  
Also, Louis had dated Harry six years ago, hadn't he? And he was Harry's first, so he arrived before anyone else. Who does this 'man' thinks he is? Harry and Louis are meant to be together, not Harry and this idiot.  
"Alright, glad, Harry. Told you he would have noticed you. Sorry for the interruption. Have fun." Louis looks at Harry for a couple of seconds, and Martin removes his hands off Harry.  
Oh, finally, Louis and Harry think.  
Louis steps back, still looking at Harry, and Martin takes Harry's hand in his.  
Harry's still looking at Louis. He wants to say Martin isn't his boyfriend, but something is telling him not to do it. Louis already is into somebody else, so why should Harry give explanations to Louis? Harry's life it's not Louis' business. They're just friends. Maybe they stare at their lips and butts -and dicks- once in a while -every second-, alright. So?  
They're just friends.  
Louis can go fuck that idiot from yesterday, and it'll be okay with Harry.  
Actually, Harry thinks he should reconsiderate Martin.  
Louis doesn't care about Harry, so why should Harry care about Louis?  
If Louis cared about Harry, he wouldn't come home at midnight with another man. Louis wouldn't have let that man kiss him -it was a little kiss on the jawline, but that's not the point.  
But when Louis opens his own door and turns around to face Harry and Martin, he says something that makes Harry shiver.  
"Gotta tell me if you're gonna scream too much, so that I can start listening to some Bring Me The Horizon songs from now. You know, one of those songs where the singers hopefully scream louder than you." Louis says, looking at Harry, and then he enters his flat before let both Martin or Harry say something, just as Harry did with Louis the other day.  
And, Harry wasn't expecting Louis to say something like that. He doesn't even know why it hurt so freaking much.  
He's still looking at Louis' door.  
"Haz." Martin whispers, caressing Harry's palm.  
Right, Martin.  
Harry actually forgot about Martin and the fact he's still holding his hand.  
Harry looks at him, and Martin feels bad for him.  
"Hope the kiss didn't bother you." Martin says, trying to distract him and leaving Harry's hand.  
The point is, Louis and Harry had sex countless times.  
Louis knows how Harry was, and this is what is making Harry feel so miserable. Louis knows Harry was loud whenever they had sex, and now Louis said- he said that fucking sentence that doesn't want to leave Harry's mind. Harry keeps thinking about Louis' words non-stop.  
The freaking point is that Louis basically said Harry is loud in bed as if it's something he should be ashamed of, while Harry knows Louis loves it. But he made it sound so bad Harry just- every single effort he did not to think about Louis has been ruined.  
Louis shouldn't have said those things, after all the efforts Harry did to trust him again, after Harry got too closer to him, after their last few evenings spent together and all the good time they had.  
What a fucking asshole.  
Harry absolutely hates Louis. How could he even think about kissing him? Loving him? What the fuck? Harry hates Louis.  
He hates him.  
"Haz, you there?"  
Harry remembers about Martin and closes his door, looking in front of him.  
Louis shouldn't have said those things.  
"I'm totally okay, Martin." Harry says, and Martin knows the situation is getting worse. If Harry talks like that, he surely isn't okay. Harry usually uses this tone when he's going to explode.  
"Nice. So, did I bother you?" Martin asks, and Harry looks at him.  
His gaze is piercing Martin's eyes. That's one of those moment when Harry looks the sexiest.  
And Harry looks sexy even while he's eating a burrito or taking his socks on, so.  
Harry takes a deep breath and looks at Martin's lips for a moment.  
Louis had the guts to treat him like that? Fine.  
So Louis doesn't care about Harry.  
He doesn't fucking care, that piece of shit.  
Everyone is a piece of shit, you just have to pick the one whose consinstency is harder. You know, the harder it is, the better.  
Or maybe it was the longer it is, the better.  
All right.  
The point is, Harry doesn't care about Louis anymore.  
Well, yeah, he does, but he's telling himself he doesn't.  
"You didn't bother me. It was nice, actually." Harry says, and Martin truly smiles.  
"Glad. Didn't want you to feel even more uncomfortable." Martin says, and he's being serious.  
He may sound cheeky sometimes, but he always says the truth to Harry. He knows about Harry's story, so he'd never said bullshit to him.  
"Wait, what was nice?" Martin asks, putting his hands on Harry's hips again, "You meant, this?" Martin gets closer to Harry.  
Honestly, Harry's so hurt by that sentence Louis said and the way he acted that he's tired of him. He doesn't want to think about Louis anymore. He doesn't want to think about that sentence of his. It seems weird, but Louis really fucked everything up with that last sentence he said.  
So Harry doesn't care.  
He called Martin to fuck, didn't he?  
So Harry puts his hands on Martin's shoulders and gets extremely close to him.  
"Mh...no, actually it was something else." Harry says, and Martin kisses Harry's ear, "Mh...maybe it was something like this?" he whispers, and Harry nods.  
"Yeah, good job." Harry whispers, closing his eyes when Martin squeezes his hips and starts kissing Harry's neck.  
Harry feels his dick twitch in his boxers, and why the hell did he wait so long to let Martin do whatever he wanted with his body?  
Harry leans his head to the right to give more room to Martin, who smirks and sucks at Harry's skin.  
"Missed you so much, Haz." Martin whispers, kissing Harry's neck again.  
"Yeah, me too."  
And if that night Harry screamed as loud as he could, it surely wasn't because he wanted Louis to hear him.

 

Louis wakes up with one of the most painful headaches of his life. He gets up and heads for the toilet, still half-sleeping, and when he's totally conscious again he asks himself why he didn't kill Martin in the first place.  
Oh, and Harry.  
Harry of course had to moan and cry out the whole night -not really- as the useless whore he is.  
Louis hates Harry so much -he loves him.  
So now what?  
Louis apparently can't make a move on Harry, since he has a boyfriend.  
What is he going to do without Harry?  
He doesn't want to think about him.  
Wait- when did Harry's relationship started?  
Why Harry didn't tell Louis?  
The gym seems to be the only answer. At least there's something that can make Louis relieve his stress.

 

"Haz?"  
"Yeah?" Harry gets up and suddendly regrets it, because now his head is spinning like crazy. What the fuck.  
"C'mere." Martin says, spreading his arms.  
Harry looks at him and smiles, "Alright, you can't stay away from me."  
Harry lays down on his bed and then on top of Martin, making both of them chucke.  
"Alright, that was my life goal, but now I'd really apprecciate it if you stopped squeezing my body with yours.I mean, you can stay on top of me, but in other ways, now, don't you agree?"  
Harry rolls his eyes and rests his head on Martin's torso.  
He's feeling better now. Maybe he just had to relieve his frustration.  
Louis doesn't deal with it.  
It was just stress.  
Martin caresses Harry's hair with his hand, and Harry closes his eyes.  
"So...guess I'm going to go back to my place, since that was a one night stand thing. Wasn't it?" Martin asks, and there's something different in his voice.  
Harry looks at him with his sleepy eyes, and Martin thinks he won't never let Harry go. He's too beautiful to be free.  
Nope, Martin won't let him go.  
"I don't know. I have to think about it. You...can stay here a little bit longer, I guess." Harry says, resting back his head on Martin's torso.  
Martin smiles, "Yeah, I think I'll actually stay here for a little bit longer. I have to bother you, once in a while."  
And, alright, Harry likes Martin. He likes his company.  
But, there's something which doesn't feel right. Harry feels like there's something missing.  
The point is, Harry likes Martin, but he likes him as an actual friend.  
And now that he thinks about it, Harry likes Louis as a friend, and at the same time likes Martin as a friend. So, he likes Martin and Louis in a friendly way.  
So why does he feel like with Louis there's a completely different situation?  
Oh, right.  
He kind of loves, kind of hates Louis.

 

Harry tried to ignore Louis when he saw him at the gym later that day. He tried not to stare at Louis' muscles -especially when they flexed- and he did a great job, actually, untill Louis got near Harry and started collecting another kind of weights -the so called dumbells.  
"So, how was it? At some point I thought he was torturing you."  
Harry ignores Louis and keeps lifting his weights.  
"You still like it when someone bites your nipples? I remember how much you loved it when I used to do it, you know." says Louis, looking at Harry in the mirror and drinking some water from his bottle, smirking as much as the bottle lets him.  
Harry looks directly at him for a moment and at his lips, and he tries to ignore his dick, which is trying to let Harry know Louis' words -and lips- are affecting him.  
Harry stares back at his reflection and focuses on his reps.  
Six, seven...  
Louis smirks wider and puts the bottle back on the floor, "Oh? He didn't bite them?" Louis asks, and Harry exhales and inhales.  
He's having a hard time to lift those weights -he took the heavier he's ever lifted because Louis was looking at him- and now Louis is making it even harder?  
"You didn't even beg? You were good at it." Louis takes two dumbells and starts lifting them, looking at his own reflection.  
Harry keeps exhaling and inhaling.  
Both of them are doing bicep curls and Harry hates Louis a fucking lot.  
"And you still manage to stand up? Weird. Didn't you spend your night bent down?" Louis asks, still smirking. Louis has never seen a hotter version of Harry, the way his face is focused on himself, his breaths are heavy, the frown on his face -because no pain, no gain- and his skin covered up by the sweat are making Louis thinking about how good it'd feel to fuck Harry on one of those gym machines. He honestly can't stop thinking about it, same thing for Harry.  
A couple of seconds later, Harry puts the weights where they were before -he finished his set and isn't planning on using dumbells anymore- and takes a deep breath. He looks at Louis and doesn't know if he should kill him or beg for him to bite his nipples.  
"Shut. Up." Harry says, and Louis chuckles.  
Now, does Louis want to risk his life?  
"Make me." Louis randomly says, still looking at his reflection while he lifts the dumbells.  
Harry fists his hands and takes a deep breath, "Who the fuck do you think you are, mh?"  
Louis puts his weights on the floor, since he finished his first set. Harry tries not to stare at his perfect, perky butt -which he's not dying to squeeze.  
"Well, I'm Louis Tomlinson, thought it was clear." Louis says, standing straight now, looking at Harry.  
Harry takes a deep breath and clenches his jaw.  
Louis thinks it's extremely hot. He'd bite all over Harry's jawline, if he could.  
Also, he'd already did it.  
He'd really like doing it again.  
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Harry looks around him, "Where people can't hear us?" Harry's looking back at Louis.  
"Right, you're loud." says Louis, walking past Harry and swinging his hips more than usual.  
Harry stares at his butt for a couple of seconds, and he quickly follows Louis in the toilet -where now Louis is waiting for him.  
Harry reminds himself he hates Louis and enters the bathroom.  
Louis closes the door of the little room where Harry and him are in, and Harry reminds himself -again- that he hates Louis, who's now smirking at Harry and waiting for him to speak.  
When Louis gets disappointed or sad he tends to be extremely annoying, or, in other words, sassy and cocky (more than usual).  
"I'm trying not to punch you right now, so pay attention to your actions. And mine." says Harry, and he's so serious Louis finds him even hotter.  
"Why that, Harry?" innocently asks Louis, and Harry's losing his temper.  
"You have no right to use that tone with me. And you should mind your own business, you know? I don't comment your sex life with that friend of yours." says Harry, his mood now is a mixture of jealousy and- and all the negative feelings in the world.  
Louis' face changes all of a sudden, for he becomes more interested in what Harry's saying.  
"Who are you talking about?" Louis asks, and Harry raises an eyebrow at him.  
"The one you fucked Friday night. And you had the guts to tell me you didn't."  
Louis chuckles, "Just told you he's a friend. Maybe I fucked him, maybe I didn't?"  
Harry feels even more angry, and his cheeks turn red.  
Louis thinks he's adorable now, all angry and jealous for something Louis didn't even do.  
After all, Jacob was right about making Harry jealous.  
"Sit down, Harry." Louis carefully says, making Harry frown.  
"Why the-" Harry realizes what he was going to say and clears his throat, "Why?"  
Louis tries not to smile at how adorable this idiot in front of him is.  
"Just, sit down for a moment, yeah?" Louis points at the closed lavatory, and Harry looks so confused it makes Louis chuckle.  
"C'mon, Harry. Sit down."  
Harry looks back at Louis. There's something weird in Louis' voice, Harry can feel it, but he doesn't really know why. He doesn't have a clue.  
"I don't get it." he says, looking at Louis, "I mean, we were talking about- about...and now you want me to sit on a toilet bowl?"  
Louis is already nervous because of what he's going to do, why does Harry have to make things worse?  
Harry's too stubborn for Louis' plans.  
So Louis puts his hands on Harry's shoulders -his amazing, strong, sexy shoulders- and tries to make him sit.  
He doesn't really succeed because of his height.  
"Alright, alright, calm down. I don't need your help to sit on something." Harry says, sitting on the lavatory.  
"Oh, I know." Louis says, smirking, and Harry tries not to think about how many times he'd seated on Louis' lap.  
He should stop thinking about it.  
Right now.  
Why is his mind still thinking about it?  
Also, Harry thinks he didn't enjoy Louis' dick enough, since he was too fucking innocent at 16. Now that he thinks about it, Louis was really good in bed. At least he was able to do something right.  
"Listen, I know I offended you. I should have been more careful, it's just- Harry, I wasn't thinking anymore, I was so fucking angry and jealous, really, I lost control. All because of that idiot of your...boyfriend. Sorry, I'm really sorry." Louis stopped acting as the sassy bitch he usually is when he's not around Harry -sometimes he can't help it but be a sassy bitch with Harry, too- and now he's saying the truth, even if he shouldn't.  
He shouldn't have let Harry know he was jealous of Martin, but he did.  
And now he's more nervous than how he'd expected.  
On the other hand, Harry looks at him as if Louis just said he's jealous.  
Oh, wait.  
Wait.  
"What did you say?"  
Louis takes a deep breath, "I was jealous, okay?"  
Now, Harry's trying not to get too excited about it and he's trying not to smile, but, really, he's finding it pretty difficult.  
"You were jealous? Why?" Harry asks, trying to sound cool.  
"Harry, we're friends. I...want to protect you from...everyone who could hurt...your feelings, and your butt. I want you to be safe and be happy. And, honestly, your...boyfriend didn't seem like someone...suitable for you. He was too touchy. Didn't like it." Louis says, clearing his throat, and he can't explain why all of a sudden he's feeling insecure.  
Harry looks down and smiles.  
If Louis is serious, than he can be the happiest person on the whole world.  
Martin is not even his boyfriend. Not anymore.  
Harry tries to stop smiling and looks at Louis, pretending the things he's saying aren't affecting him.  
"Well, I don't know if you're serious or not, but if you are, then thank you, it's nice of you to 'protect' me. I mean, really, it's nice. Isn't it sad you were the only one who you should have protected me from?" Harry says, completely killing Louis' vibe.  
Louis was hoping he could manage talking to Harry and take their friendship on a highter level, but apparently he was wrong.  
And, Harry forgave Louis. He doesn't care about the way Louis treated him, because it was the past -he does care, but he pretends he doesn't- so now he wants to focus on the present. He had to say that sentence, though, or it'd have been too easy for Louis.  
"Don't worry, it's okay. At least now you're trying, aren't you?" Harry says, now smiling, and Louis notices that amazing smile of his.  
Maybe he's not as hopeless as he thought.  
Is Harry joking?  
"You're a weird human being. And, honestly, I don't understand how I could cheat on you. That was the most stupid thing I could've ever done. I'm glad you're letting me talk to you again. Really, Harry, thank you." Louis says, because he can't keep his feelings for himself anymore, and Harry looks at him, trying to figure out if Louis is being serious or not. He seems to be serious.  
"I have a question." Harry says, still looking into Louis' gorgeous eyes.  
"Go ahead."  
"Why am I sitting on a lavatory?" Harry asks, almost laughing at Louis' surprised face.  
"First of all, I thought you were going to ask me something serious."  
"But this is serious."  
Louis tries not to smile, "Second of all, I don't like the fact you're so much taller than me, especially when I have to say something important. Last but not least, I know you really like sitting on things, so, yeah, you can thank me later for that." Louis says, and Harry chuckles.  
Of course he likes sitting on things.  
"I'm not thanking you. And I think a couple of minutes ago I was going to punch you, what happened in the meanwhile?"  
Louis puts his hands on Harry's hair and starts stroking it, "I just made you calm down. You're still a good boy, see?"  
Harry ignores the way his dick twitched at Louis' words.  
He clears his throat and looks up at Louis.  
The way now Louis is looking down at him, and how his hand is caressing Harry's hair is making Harry's self-control slowly go away.  
"Louis?"  
"Yeah?"  
"He didn't fuck me." Harry says, and he knows Louis wasn't expecting his statement.  
"Martin? Thought he did?" Louis quickly asks. His heart is beating so fast he doesn't even notices it anymore.  
"He didn't. He isn't the one I like." Harry says, making Louis' mind go crazy with questions.  
"Why the fuck did you spend the  
whole night crying out then?"  
Harry doesn't reply.  
"Because he fucked you." Louis says, replying to his own question.  
"He didn't fuck me. You're going to make fun of me if I say the truth." Harry says, and Louis caresses Harry's cheeks with his palms.  
"I swear I won't."  
Harry looks at Louis, unsure.  
Then he says something, but his voice was too low for Louis to hear it.  
"What?"  
Harry takes a deep breath.  
"Wanted you to hear me." Harry whispers, and Louis- Louis can't believe it.  
"Yeah, sure." he chuckles his nervous laugh.  
"Hopefully you won't believe me." Harry says, still looking at Louis.  
Louis can't believe Harry's serious.  
He can't.  
"Harry. What are you saying?"  
"You know it. Don't play dumb." Harry looks down, and Louis lets himself smile.  
"And why did you want me to hear you, mh?" Louis asks, and Harry looks up at him.  
"Don't ask me why, I don't know."  
"And what did he do?"  
Harry sighs, "Just a...uhm...blowjob." Harry mutters, and Louis takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. He doesn't know what he's thinking, what he's doing and what is going on, actually. He's really confused about Harry and the fact he cares so much for him doesn't help.  
"Maybe you wanted me to hear you for the same reason why I was jealous. And still am." Louis says, and Harry looks at him with his wide, shiny eyes, waiting for Louis to finish his sentence.  
"It's because..." Louis wants to say he loves Harry, alright, but he doesn't think he's ready. He's too overwhelmed right now to say something like that out loud. He can't.  
And Harry's stupidly hoping Louis is going to say something which deals with their real feelings, but he's wrong.  
"Because we care about each other. You know, I think we're really...good friends, yeah. It's nice, actually. And...yeah, let me know how goes with your boyfriend." Louis says, turning around and opening the door.  
When Harry realizes Louis exited the room, he sighs.  
He wanted to say to Louis Martin isn't his boyfriend, but he got distracted by his arse -whoops?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ hope you liked the chapter, thanks for reading it. Also, I suggest you to read the note at the very beginning of the chapter, if you haven't already ~
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. if you want to read a one shot smut (larry) you can check out the one i posted the other day on my profile


	41. September 30th, 2016

louis_tomlinson: look who's here

its_curlyhere: is this a prank?

louis_tomlinson: uhm nope, my name's not prank

its_curlyhere: i think ive influenced you and now you cant stop saying your horrible jokes. I mean, instead of taking the best part of my ability, you took the worse.

louis_tomlinson: your jokes are horrible, not mine. 

its_curlyhere: please stop hurting my feelings.

louis_tomlinson: i will. 

louis_tomlinson: never ;)

its_curlyhere: so you changed your name?

louis_tomlinson: no harry, actually i was just putting some bread on top of my mobile phone

louis_tomlison: you know, its a new hobby of mine

its_curlyhere: i know its you because you're being mean with me. again.

louis_tomlinson: its your*

its_curlyhere: uhg i used to get really mad at your grammar mistakes.

louis_tomlinson: yeah i know. loved it xx

its_curlyhere: of course you did, you meanie.

louis_tomlinson: dont you want to know why im texting you? hehe

its_curlyhere: yes, i was just trying not to make it obvious.

its_curlyhere: that text wasnt supposed to be sent.

louis_tomlinson: just wanted to know how you and your lovely boyfriend are doin

its_curlyhere: about that...

louis_tomlinson: ??

its_curlyhere: he's not my boyfriend.

louis_tomlinson: if he's not your boyfriend then it wont bother you coming here and kiss me right?

its_curlyhere: stop kidding, louis.

louis_tomlinson: sorry, harry. it was a friend of mine. delete that text.

its_curlyhere: uhh is he the one who gets to be fucked by you? ;)

louis_tomlinson: honestly harry the only thing ive been fucking lately is my hand 

its_curlyhere: yeah, sure. me ive been fucked just by my fingers and thats it.

louis_tomlinson: see we're both so indipendent, i think we complete each other

its_curlyhere: i was being sarcastic, louis.

louis_tomlinson: me too :) 

its_curlyhere: that smiley face. stop it already.

louis_tomlinson:  :):) :) ")

louis_tomlinson:  :)

its_curlyhere: gonna kill you witg kindness.

its_curlyhere: with*

louis_tomlinson: gonna kiss* you with eagerness*

its_curlyhere: mh, nope.

louis_tomlinson: sorry it was my friend again. what an idiot

its_curlyhere: always said you were an idiot x

louis_tomlinson: im gonna.

its_curlyhere: come?

louis_tomlinson: yeah. at your place. now. and you wont like it.

its_curlyhere: uhm...im confused.

louis_tomlinson: ill clean your head soon

its_curlyhere: uh, how scary. Im trembling.

louis_tomlinson: i know i affect you till making tou tremble babe

its_curlyhere: sure.

louis_tomlinson: its like when we used to text and youd be so stubborn and so so unfriendly

louis_tomlinson: when in real life you were and are a cutie 

louis_tomlinson: dont ask me why im sending these texts, i dont know

its_curlyhere: at least you're not as addicted on having sex with me as you used to be.

louis_tomlinson: yeah sorry about that, you know hormones

its_curlyhere: yeah, i know, and you're trying to make my hormones go crazy, so.

louis_tomlinson: did you actually send that text about hormones?

its_curlyhere: it was a friend of mine.

louis_tomlinson: oh i see what you did there

its_curlyhere: wow, wasnt expecting you to able to see. thats new.

louis_tomlinson: your doorbell is ringing :)

its_curlyhere: why? ::)::

louis_tomlinson: that thing is making me feel dizzy.

louis_tomlinson: no but seriously, go open the door to the idiot who's waiting for you

its_curlyhere: why? ::(::

louis_tomlinson: cause he's sexy and he thinks you are too

its_curlyhere: oh, i think it was your friend again, wasnt it?

louis_tomlinson: yeah, guess his name.

its_curlyhere: anastasia?

louis_tomlinson: actually i dont know it. i call it my dick though

its_curlyhere: nice name

louis_tomlinson: he agrees with you ;)

 

"Knock knock."  Louis says when he's outside Harry's flat, after he rang the doorbell.  
Harry takes a deep breath and smiles, Louis' voice is absolutely adorable -and sexy.  
"Who's there?" Harry asks, heading to the door.  
Louis smiles, "Louis!"  
Harry chuckles, "Louis who?"  
"Louis the flat mate!"  
Harry chuckles again and opens the door, still smiling.  
When Louis sees him smiling, well, "Your dimples are adorable. I think they like me." Louis says, and Harry opens the door wider for Louis to step in.  
"Yes, they do, but I don't like you 'cause you could have made a joke out of what you said and you didn't. You wasted your knock knock words." Harry says, closing the door after Louis entered the flat.  
"I don't care about you, I only care about your dimples." Louis says, and Harry tries not to smile wider.  
"My dimples? And what about me now? Are you already over me?"  
Louis pretends to look confused, "I'm not over you, yet. I mean, look, I'm standing."  
Harry chuckles, "You're right, yeah. So, how was your day?"  
Harry asks, looking at Louis.  
Honestly, Louis still has to get used to how gorgeous Harry looks.  
When he was sixteen he used to look so vulnerable and little, while now he's the opposite.  
But he's still the same Harry, deep down, Louis knows it. Harry's still the cute boy with dimples, loving and caring.  
And Louis loves him more than anything else.  
"Was okay, thanks. What about you?"   
Awkwardness is in the air.  
"Yeah, same. Uhm...do you want...I don't know, something to drink?"  
Louis shakes his head no, "No, thanks, Harry. You okay?" Louis asks, trying to figure out if Harry's a human being or not. How is it possible to be so gorgeous?  
Not only gorgeous, but also smart, lovely, caring, kind, with a voice so soothing and sexy at the same time.  
How is it possible?  
"Yeah, sure. Wanted to say something, though." Harry says.  
Did Louis notice how nervous he is?  
Harry hopes it's not that noticeable.  
They head to the couch and sit down.  
Harry looks at Louis, Louis looks at Harry.  
"So, as I said before...Martin isn't my boyfriend. Just...wanted you to know it." Harry says, making Louis' heart beat faster.  
He tries not to make it obvious.  
"You already told me, yeah." Louis says, feeling better at the thought Harry's actually saying he's single.  
If Harry doesn't have a boyfriend, that means Louis can try to make Harry change his mind over whoever he's into, and maybe he could succeed in finally hug Harry whenever he wants to, or kiss him, touch him, talk to him about their pasts and really try to explain he's not the same idiot he was six years ago.  
Harry nods, "Yeah."  
Now Louis needs a moment to calm down because that 'yeah' which escaped Harry's mouth should have been illegal and Louis wasn't ready to hear such a yeah so hot.  
He thinks about sex way too much when he's around Harry.  
Harry chuckles, probably because of Louis' face.  
"I don't know, you didn't sound really convinced on kik, and I think it's something you should know."  
"Well...I mean, that's nice. Told you I've never liked him." Louis says, making obvious the fact he's jealous.  
"You saw him once." Harry chuckles, and Louis raises his eyebrows.  
"First impression is the only one that really matters." says Louis, even though he doesn't have these kinds of prejudices.  
Just with Martin, maybe.  
His name is enough to make Louis angry. That idiot touched Harry, not only that, he also gave him a blowjob, and why? Probably because Louis had to be mean with Harry. And why that? Because Louis is jealous. Why is Louis jeaolous? Because he freaking loves Harry and can't stand the thought of him being with someone else. He's still confused about why Harry wanted him to hear him, though. He doesn't want to keep his hopes up, so he ignores the thought.  
"As you prefer. You won't have to worry about it, though." Harry says, and Louis sighs.  
"Harry, can I tell you something?" Louis asks, looking directly into Harry's eyes.  
Those fucking green eyes.  
Harry reluctantly nods, "Yeah, sure. What is it?" he asks, trying not to overthink.  
Is Louis okay?  
What does he want to know? What's the matter?  
Why does he have to ask something to Harry?   
Why did he announced it?  
Why is Harry sweating?  
Why is Louis so nervous? And why is Harry sweating?  
Oh, alright, yeah, he was already sweating.  
He was sweating before he'd started sweating.  
Louis clears his throat and brushes his fingers on Harry's arm.  
Harry straightens up.  
"I've been thinking about it for a while now." Louis says, running his hand on Harry's body and resting it on Harry's knee.  
Harry holds his breath till he starts coughing -he didn't realize he was holding his breath for too long.  
"Har, you alright?" Louis asks, concerned.  
What was that?   
Har?  
Fuck.  
"W-what did you call me?" Harry asks, and Louis frowns in confusion.  
"Har?"  
Shit.  
That's the hottest thing Harry's ever heard in his 22 years of life.  
He nods, trying to make his heartbeat normal.  
"I think this isn't the right moment to talk to you. You sure you're okay?"  
Harry nods again, "Of course I am, yeah. Just...yeah, tell me whatever you want."  
Louis stares at Harry for a couple of seconds, admiring his beautiful face.  
"Alright, so. I've been thinking about this for a while, to be honest it all started when we...started hanging out again, if it's the right verb. And, well, Harry, I also tried to ignore it, but I simply couldn't." Louis takes a deep breath and tries not to look away Harry's eyes. His heartbeat is speeding up at every word he pronounces.  
Harry's reminding himself he has to breath.   
"Would you believe me if I said I spent all these years without you thinking about you?" Louis' staring at Harry's eyes, Harry doesn't know what to say.  
He's trying not to get overwhelmed. Impossible.  
"Because it's the truth. You can believe me or not, your choice, obviously. I know it's hard for you to believe me, but I'm trying to make you realize I'm different now, and I'm being completely serious. I swear, Harry. I just want you to believe me, for now. You know, I've changed. And, if you're wondering, you didn't change me. You made me realize the way I thought it was right living wasn't right at all. Also, sorry for the everything I said the other day, when you were with Martin, and when we were at the gym. Is wasn't nice of me. I reacted like that because I was so jeaolous and...hurt...I was so angry, Harry."   
Harry's startled. The way Louis' talking is so soft and seems to be so real. Should he believe Louis?  
Has Louis been thinking about Harry for all these years, just like how Harry's been doing?   
Is it possible?  
Harry sighs.   
"I want to make sure you know how sorry I am. Just tell me you believe me when I say I'm sorry and that you really- you're, I mean, Harry- I pretended to care about you and I ended up caring about you more than how seems to be possible. Now-"  
Harry doesn't have the time to react to Louis' words because someone rings the doorbell.  
Whoever it is, Louis' wishing he could kill that someone.  
"Uhm...Louis...can I- I mean, I'm going to see who's at the dorbell, yeah? We'll talk later, I promise." Harry caresses Louis' thigh for a moment without even realizing it, and when he heads to the door and opens it, Louis is still thinking about Harry's hand, which was on his thigh three seconds before.  
"Hello there, hello Haz." Louis hears someone greeting Harry, and clenches his jaw.  
He already knows it's that idiot of Harry's friend, who pretended to be Harry's boyfriend. Louis' still confused about it.   
Why did Martin had to pretend he was in a relationship with Harry? Was it a plan to get killed by Louis?  
"Hey, Martin. What's up?" Harry tries not to make room for Martin to enter his flat, but Martin manages to enter anyways.  
"Haz, was thinking about you." Martin says, smiling.  
What?  
Louis stands up, but tries to stay there without moving. He doesn't want Harry to think he's a possessive person who can't leave him alone not even for a moment.  
Maybe Louis is like that, but he's trying to fake it.  
"You alright? Did you drink...something?" Harry asks.  
He's sure Martin's tipsy, at least.  
"Naah, babe! Now, c'mon, lemme kiss ya." Martin says, giggling.  
"Did someone bring you here? Were you on a ride? Tell me you didn't dr-"  
"No, no, don't be jealous Haz, nobody brought me here. You can ride me, of course, yes, let's go!"  
Louis is getting closer to them, and he swears if Harry doesn't do something really bad to Martin, Louis' going to do it.  
Martin grabs Harry's wrist and tries to make him move, but he just risk to fall off, because Harry flexes his muscles and removes Martin's hand off himself.  
"I think you're slightly confused about our friendship, don't you think?" Harry asks carefully, and Martin pouts.  
"But I sucked you off. And you, too. Well, you tried." Martin says, chuckling.  
Harry blushes because he knows Louis' hearing them, while Louis doesn't know if he should feel pissed off because Harry and Martin had something sexual going on the other day, or if he should smile because Harry apparently tried to give Martin a blowjob but something went wrong.  
"I didn't mean to blow you, and you know it. I was just trying to make you think I was okay with you being so near me. Now-"  
Martin cuts Harry off, his mood completely changed now, "C'mon, Harry, I know you liked it when I sucked you off the other day" Martin says, brushing his fingers over Harry's clothed abs, and Harry steps back.  
Louis' in front of Harry and Martin now, looking at them and trying not to jump on top of Martin and kill him -or trying not to jumo on Harry and kiss him.  
"Martin, please, go away. I was having a conversation with Louis, here." Harry says, calmly.  
Martin chuckles, "I know you want me to fuck you. You were moaning so much because of me, Haz."  
Before Harry can say something, though, Louis quickly gets near Martin.  
He grabs Martin's arm and makes him step away from Harry, furious at him.  
"He wasn't moaning for you, he was thinking about me, you idiot. Now go away."  
Harry sucks a breath in at Louis' words, his heartbeat speeding up.  
Is Louis jealous?   
Is it possible?   
Maybe in a friendly way...  
Martin laughs, "I knew you were an idiot when Harry told me you'd preferred sticking your dick up someone else's butt because Harry wasn't enough for you, but- wow, didn't think you could reach this point."  
Louis takes a deep breath, but instead of getting angrier, he feels like someone just punched him.  
"You know, you didn't have to remind me how shitty I was, thank you very much. I already have myself for that." Louis says, lowering his voice and looking at Harry.  
"Louis..." Harry's feeling sad thinking about it, and he doesn't like to see Louis with his hurt eyes.  
He's already attached to him, again.  
Too late, again.  
"No, it's okay, Harry. He's right." Louis looks at Martin, "But that doesn't mean you can enter Harry's house and do whatever you want. He told you to go away, why are you still in here?" Louis asks, and Martin chuckles.  
"Because Harry can be shy sometimes, you know?"   
"Yes, I know." Louis says, jealousy in his voice.  
"And did you know he loves it when you play with his nipples?" Martin asks, smirking.  
Louis clenches his jaw, "I know. Cut it, or I'll cut you in half."  
"And, did you know he loves it when you kiss him-"  
"Martin." Harry says, pissed off.  
"What, Haz? I was sharing my knowledge with your ex. No, but, honestly, how could you cheat on someone as beautiful and lovely as Harry? And how the hell you two are still talking, seeing each other and...I don't know, do you have something else involved?"   
Louis looks at Harry, and fortunately finds his gaze already on him.  
"Harry, I told you I'm sorry. I know it's not enough, but-"  
"You don't have to say this now, you know. It's okay, Louis." Harry says, and then he looks at Martin.  
"Do you have a ride?" Harry asks as calmly as he can.  
Martin smirks, getting closer to Harry and putting his hands on Harry's hips, "It's you, Haz."  
Louis tries not to kill Martin for the millionth time, and Harry steps back from Martin.  
"Stop it. I'm serious, you can't drive now, it's not safe for you, neither for your wallet. I'll ask you again, yeah? How do you plan on coming back home?"  
Martin checks Harry out, slowly.  
Did Harry says something?  
"Martin."  
Martin looks at Harry confused, and Harry repeats his question.  
"Oh. Mh, yeah, you can ride me."  
Harry takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose with the edge of his fingerstips.  
"Martin, you know I was talking about your house, and how do you plan on getting there. Do you have your car?"   
"Oh, you want to ride me at my place? It's okay, yeah, sure."  
"I'm going to ask you another time."  
Louis gets closer to Martin  and looks at him, "Listen, here, we don't need you to waste your time -and ours. So, just tell him if you have a car, yeah? Is it so difficult?"  
"Calm down, oh, oh. I have my car, of course, who else's?"  
Harry, still near the door, grabs his coat and keys, and opens the door.  
"You can exit my flat, thanks."Harry says looking at Louis and Martin.   
They do as told, confused, and Harry looks at them.  
"Martin, I'll bring you back at your place. Louis, I'll see you later, sorry for the inconvenience."   
Harry looks a couple of seconds at Louis, staying silent, and Louis nods.  
He's too disappointed/jealous/pissed off to reply with a real answer.

 

"Knock knock." Harry says,   
smiling when he hears Louis' voice.  
"Who's there?"  
"Robin." says Harry, trying not to laugh for his own joke.  
"Robin, who?" asks Louis, confused.  
"Robin Hood!" exclaims Harry, and Louis opens the door, chuckling.  
Harry slightly laughs, and Louis is completely drunk off his laugh.  
"Harry, c'mon, that was unbearable."  
"No way! It was amazing!" says Harry, still excited about his joke.  
Louis chuckles and lets Harry enter his flat, shaking his head.   
"You're incredible."  
Harry looks at him, smiling.   
Yep, dimples are on display.  
"See? You liked it!"   
Louis chuckles again. He can't help it, Harry's simply the most adorable human being he's ever had the luck to be near with.  
Then they both stay silent, their smiles slowly fading away as they focus on other things beside Harry's 'joke'.  
Again, Louis asks himself how Harry managed to physically change so much, and how is it possible for him to be not only so gorgeous, but also so kind.  
And, well, Harry just stares at Louis' beautiful features, even if Louis' eyes are the only two things Harry really loves staring at.  
Louis gets closer to Harry, brushing his fingertips over Harry's jawline.  
They're staring at each other so intensively, that they don't even pay attention to their heartbeats too fast and the distance between the two of them almost null.  
"You're okay, right? Did Martin do something he shouldn't have done?" Louis asks almost in a whisper.  
Harry smiles and lets Louis' fingers trace his jawline over and over again, sometimes sliding in his neck.  
"He tried to do something, but I didn't let him. Sorry for what happened before." Harry whispers, making Louis smile as well.  
Honestly, he doesn't know why he's smiling.   
Maybe it's because of Harry. Maybe.  
"It wasn't your fault, don't apologise." Louis says, softly, brushing his thumb over the corner of Harry's mouth.  
Harry tries not to react too much at Louis' touch, but he puts his hand on Louis' shoulder, caressing his cheek partly with his palm, sometimes focusing on his neck.  
Basically what Louis did to him, but in a different way.  
Harry's feeling bettere now. He had a while to think about what Louis had told him before, and now that he's with him again he's feeling weird. It's like he's feeling alive.  
"How was your day?" Harry asks, his voice slightly louder than a whisper.  
Louis traces his thumb on Harry's lips, without resting on its corner, and Harry focuses on staying still, without moving his lips.  
He'd like to kiss Louis' thumb. He's not even thinking about how he used to suck Louis' fingers in his mouth before Louis could fuck him.  
It's Harry, and Louis, and the present.  
"Spent it thinking about your Christmas present. I think you'll like a chicken, won't you?" Louis says, smiling, making Harry smile, too.  
"Of course, I've always wanted one. Thank you." Harry says, getting even closer to Louis, their bodies almost touching.  
"You're welcome. Now you just have to wait for three months. You'll make it." says Louis, sliding his hand on Harry's hair.   
He starts stroking it slowly, almost massagging the area, and Harry closes his eyes.  
He smiles after a couple of seconds, when his mind starts working again.  
Louis is completely absorbed by Harry's reaction.  
"You know how much I love it." whispers Harry, opening his eyes and looking at Louis.  
"Me?" Louis asks, raising his eyebrows, and Harry keeps smiling.  
"Yes, you."  
"Maybe. Honestly, Harry, I'm actually struggling. You're too tall for me, my arm is almost getting as tall as you." Louis admits, joking, and Harry chuckles, leaning over Louis.  
And now their lips are almost touching. Shit, that wasn't planned.  
However, Harry tries to act cool about it, Louis too.  
After all, they're just friend.  
Aren't they?  
"Is it better in that way?" Harry asks, and Louis can feel his breath on his face and it's not the only thing he wants on his face.  
"Yes, thank you." Louis whispers sliding his hand further on Harry's hair, caressing it.  
"I think you want me to fall asleep on you." Harry says, closing his eyes for a moment and slighlty chuckling, making Louis smile.  
"Well, it's not like I'd complain. Promise me you won't squeeze my body."  
Harry brushes his fingers on Louis' lips, it's like he's doing the same actions Louis did, as a replay, but instead of receving Louis' touches, now he's transferring them on Louis.  
"I'd rather squeeze your body when I'm awake and completely conscious." Harry admits, because, honestly, in this moment he doesn't care.  
This is the best moment he's ever spent with Louis, and he's going to enjoy it as much as he can.  
And, well, Louis thinks there's a slight possibility everything Harry's doing can be real. Harry's having a hard time trying to understand if Louis' not kidding, too.  
"As long as you don't kill me with your weight, I'm up to it." Louis says, still smiling, and it's Harry the first one who leans closer and brushes his lips on Louis'.  
Louis slowly slides his fingers on Harry's hips, Harry cups Louis' face in his hand, brushing one of his thumbs on Louis' cheek, and Louis leaves a slow, gentle kiss on Harry's lips, keeping no distance between their bodies.  
Louis feels a shiver run down his spine at the same time Harry feels one, too, when they both part their lips and starts kissing slowly, carefully, as they never did when they used to date.  
Louis gently squeezes Harry's hips in his hands, feeling his obliques -the lateral muscles situated on his abnominal- and moves his tongue around Harry's. Sometimes he just uses his lips, though, and when he's back at using his tongue, Harry absolutely loves it.  
That's a completely different way to kiss, Louis' never kissed Harry like that.  
Harry follows Louis' movement, melting in the kiss, and his mind is completely blank, now. Louis is the only thing in the entire world.  
After a couple of minutes, Harry slides his hands down Louis hips, feeling his sculpted physique, while Louis' hands go straight on Harry's neck, caressing his hair.  
A low moan escapes from the back of Harry's throat, his hands squeezing Louis' hips.  
They keep kissing and a couple of minutes later they realize they've closed  their eyes and everything seems to be okay, because they're so relaxed and excited about the fact they finally are kissing now, after all those years spent unhappily, that nothing matters in that moment, just Harry, Louis, and their kiss.  
"Louis." Harry breathes on Louis' lips, and kisses him again.  
Louis smiles and perks Harry's lips, "Harry."   
Harry's smiling now, while he kisses Louis again. They're both smiling, and it's amazing.  
"Harry." Louis whispers again, still kissing Harry.  
"Missed you so much, Lou." Harry whispers, slowly perking Louis' lips over and over again.  
He can't believe he's kissing Louis. He can't believe he can tell him he missed him. He can finally tell him.  
Louis slides his hands on Harry's cheeks, holding him close to his body and kissing him deeper, just like they were doing a minute before.  
Harry eagerly kisses Louis' back, squeezing his hips as much as he can to make sure Louis is actually there with him, to make sure Louis' kissing Harry as he's never done before, to make sure Louis actually wants him.   
"Harry." Louis whispers again on his lips, but Harry doesn't let Louis finish his sentence, because he keeps kissing him.  
Louis smiles and steps forward, making Harry stepping back and almost tripping on their feet.  
They both chuckle while snogging each other and Louis can't believe he's kissing Harry.  
He can't believe he's finally having the chance to let him know and to prove him how much he actually cares about him.  
"Missed you so, so, so much, Har." Louis whispers, still managing to kiss Harry, and Harry smiles.  
He wants to believe Louis' serious. He wants to trust him again.   
Why would Louis want to kiss Harry after all those years? Harry's sure it's not because he still wants to take advantage of him, it's been too long. It wouldn't make sense.  
It's the first time they smile so much while kissing, and it's so overwhelming they deepen the kiss at the same time, using more tongue. Then Harry bites Louis' lower lip lighlty, and Louis responds by making Harry step back, again, but more carefully this time, till his back is pressed on a wall.  
Harry bites Louis' lip once again, and Louis slides his hand on Harry's hair, making Harry squeeze Louis' body in his huge hands.  
Louis freaking loves how big Harry's hands are.  
"Did you?" Harry asks, right after Louis bites his lower lip, and Louis looks at him for a moment. "Hell, yeah."  
They kiss again for something that feels like hours, untill Harry pulls away by a couple of inches and looks at Louis, his face still extremely close to him.  
"Please." Louis whispers, and pecks Harry's lips.  
Harry closes his eyes and Louis slowly kisses his jawline, without going too far. He's trying to control himself, he won't touch Harry's body more than how he already did. He won't kiss his neck. Not now. He only cares about Harry and his eyes, his lips brushing on him, and his voice.  
"Please, tell me you can think about it. Tell me you think you can trust me, some day. Please, Harry." Louis says, not caring he's begging, while he caresses Harry's cheeks. He needs Harry. He's never felt so close to him and he finds Harry even more incredible than how he'd expected.  
Harry takes a shaky breath and sighs.  
"I know. I mean, I understand if you don't want to see me anymore. I just...I need you, Harry. I swear, these years have been so fucking shitty. I spent every single day thinking about you, and I'm not kidding." Louis says, and then he does something that leaves Harry completely startled.  
He hugs Harry so tight on his body he can feel almost every single part of his upper body, which slightly shivers at the contact.  
Harry looks at Louis, who's now with his face pressed on his chest, at first confused and uncertain about what he should do. After a second his mind is connected again to his body, he hugs Louis back, kissing his head, and he smiles.  
As much as he knows he shouldn't, he smiles, and he doesn't care.  
He spent too many years craving for this moment, he won't waste it just because of a stupid mistake Louis did.  
Louis smiles against Harry' chest, and he finally feels happy.  
"You've never hugged me like that." Louis whispers on Harry' chest, his voice sweet like Harry's never heard before. He could die for Louis' voice.  
"You've never kissed me like that." Harry replies, whispering back.  
Louis looks up at Harry and slowly pulls away, without stopping looking at him.  
"Can I ask you something?" Harry asks, leaning over Louis again.  
Louis lifts on his toes and puts his hands behind Harry's neck, looking at him in the sweetest way possible.  
Harry wasn't ready for this new Louis.  
He'll never be ready enough for him.  
"What?" Louis asks softly, feeling so overwhelmed he just wants to be near Harry.  
"Actually, it's not a question." Harry says, putting his hands on Louis' hips and taking a deep breath.  
He looks down for a moment and takes another deep breath and looks at Louis.  
"What's wrong?"  
Harry smiles.  
"In this moment, there are so many feelings that are trying to daze me, and so many thoughts, Louis, I -I'm so scared, because now...what if..."   
Louis hugs Harry, lifting on his toes even more, and Harry wraps his arms around him tightly.  
"I know what you're thinking about. Would you believe me if I said I'll never leave you now no matter what?" Louis asks, his voice cracking.  
Harry's eyes tear up at the sincerity of Louis' voice, and he chuckles is nervous laugh.  
"You're not serious."   
Louis pulls away and looks at Harry, trying not to think too much about his teary eyes. He hopes he's not making Harry feel worse.  
"You must know everything I say now is completely true. I'm not kidding. Honestly, I don't understand how it'd be possible for me to be as happy as how I am with you, now."  
Harry doesn't know what to do, what to think, what to tell.   
So he leans over Louis more, he takes his face in his hands and kisses him with everything he's got, pushing his tongue in Louis' mouth, moving it eagerly while holding Louis tight on his body.  
Louis, who wasn't expecting Harry to kiss him, quickly kiss him back, trying to make Harry understand how important he actually is for him.  
"I'm sorry for so many things." Louis whispers on Harry's lips after a while, and Harry, again, doesn't care. He loves kissing Louis, he missed kissing Louis, he missed Louis, he missed everything about him and he can't have enough of him.  
"When I told you-" Louis tries to say in between the kiss, but Harry bites his lower lip.  
Then he thinks about a conversation he had on kik with Louis, a couple of years ago, and smirks.  
He kisses Louis' cheek and brushes his lips on Louis' ear, "Shush."   
Louis looks at him, trying to figure out how Harry's really feeling about all of this situation.  
"Harry, but-"  
"So you want to see me again?" Harry asks, carefully, and Louis raises his eyebrows, slighlty parting his lips in surprise.  
"Of course I want to see you again, Harry." Louis says, and Harry brushes his fingertips on Louis' lips.   
"So, let's just see each other again." Harry says, after taking a deep breath.  
"Are you serious?" Louis asks, disbelief in his face.  
Harry nods, "You said all those things, right? Now, I want to make sure you mean them."  
Louis smiles and takes Harry's face in his hands, and Harry chuckles. His eyes are still teary just because of how happy he is.   
"You're too short for me." Harry says, jokingly, and Louis raises an eyebrow, still smiling.  
"You'll see how short I am." whispers Louis, making Harry chuckle.  
"I remember."  
"You do?" Louis kisses Harry's cheeks.  
"Yes, I do." says Harry, closing his eyes, and Louis smiles.  
"I promise you," Louis whispers, and Harry opens his eyes to look at him, "I'll show you how important you are to me, yeah? Every single day."  
Harry smiles, showing his dimples, and kisses Louis' forehead, "I'll keep my eyes open."


	42. October 2nd, 2016

It's like all the problems Harry was having at work not even two hours ago, are now vanished because he's sitting on Louis' couch. Louis' hand is on Harry's knee right now, and Harry's staring at his amazing light-blue eyes, which are carefully staring back at him.  
Harry doesn't know what to say, for he's too happy to be with Louis and he's simply enjoying the moment, while Louis' thinking nobody could ever compare to Harry.   
The way Harry's looking at him is making his heart melt, literally.  
And, well, it's not as bad as it sounds.   
Harry's overthinking does all the work, though, in fact not even ten minutes after he's curious about something Louis said once.  
"Louis?" Harry gently asks, getting closer to Louis -he's almost on top of him- and taking his hand in his own, caressing his little fingers.  
Louis looks down at their hands for a moment and tries to hold back his smile -because, c'mon, why should he smile? Harry's just holding his hand and...uhg, he wants to smile so bad.  
Alright, Louis smiles and looks at Harry, and there's something so different in the way Louis and Harry are looking at each other, it's like they gave up on pretending to be just friends and now are finally taking the next step.  
"Har." Louis says, just because he loves calling Harry that -and loves Harry's reaction, how he has to swallow and take a deep breath.  
Harry traces Louis' pinky with his thumb.  
"I think I have a question for you." Harry says, with a little smile, and Louis nods, trying to focus on Harry's words rather then on his eyes. His extraordinary gorgeous green, sparkly eyes.  
Louis swears he isn't drunk, or high, or whatever.  
He's just happy -truly happy.  
Harry couldn't agree more with him.  
"Thought the sentence was, 'I have a crush on you'? Wow, Harry, you can be very mean sometimes." Louis says, sarcastic, and Harry smiles wider.  
"Sorry about that. But, seriously, I wanted to know something." Harry says, taking a deep breath.  
Why isn't this angel smiling anymore? Louis thinks, confused.  
He wanted to keep staring at his lovely dimples and sparkling eyes.  
"Sure, Har."   
Harry takes a deep breath -another one- because Louis can't just call him that, with that absolutely hot voice of his, while Harry's trying to say something serious.  
"You told me you were...I mean, kind of...into someone? And...I was just wondering...you know..."   
Louis smiles at him. Is that it?  
When Louis chuckles, Harry frowns. "What?"  
Louis shakes his head and looks at Harry, "I was talking about you, couldn't you tell?"  
Harry slightly parts his lips and clenches his hand around Louis'.   
Louis curiously looks at him, "I know. You alright, though? Are you breathing?" Louis asks jokingly, and Harry blushes when he realizes what's currently happening.  
"You're kidding." he states, and Louis caresses his knee.  
"Mh, no? Not at all?" Louis says, still chuckling at Harry face -those red cheeks of him are something.  
"Louis, it's not possible. I mean, I was referring to you when I said I was into that boy who worked with me. It was me who was talking about you!" Harry says, confused. He releases Louis' fingers when he realizes what he was doing.  
Now Louis looks surprised at Harry, "What? You serious?"   
So Harry wasn't talking about Martin?  
Harry quickly nods, "I was talking about you! So you knew it?!"   
Louis frowns, "Harry, no, I didn't know, of course. How could I know about the fact we both have incredibly smart minds?"   
Harry relaxes slightly, "You were talking about me?"   
Louis is back at smiling, "Of course, Harry, who else?"  
Harry stares at Louis for a minute, thinking about it. When he decides Louis' probably telling the truth, he lays on the couch with his face buried in a pillow, whining.  
Louis chuckles at his reaction, and tries not to look at Harry's body.  
He of course looks at Harry's amazing, fit body. Shit.  
What is Louis supposed to do with his hands, now? He wants to touch Harry, wants at least to caress slighlty his hamstrings, or his back, it doesn't have to be something linked to sex, absolutely not, but-  
Harry's chuckles cut Louis thoughts off.  
When Harry is in a sitting position again, smiling, Louis gives him a confused look.  
Harry takes Louis' hand in his own, again. "So, when you were with your friend, Friday night, you didn't fuck him?" Harry asks, hoping for a no.  
Louis chuckles and gets closer to Harry, brushing his palm on Harry's cheek.  
"Harry, I could never fuck someone who isn't you. I won't do it again. I promise." Louis says, his voice now lower, while looking straight into Harry's eyes.  
Harry ignores his unnaturally fast heartbeat -as Louis does- and sighs.  
"And you didn't have...I mean, did you spend your time with...someone in these last few days? Or weeks? I'm just curious..." Harry says, trying not to sound as scared as he is. What if Louis will answer with a 'yes'? What if Louis is seeing somebody else? Why did Harry trust Louis? Why did he kiss him? Couldn't he simply avoid him for the rest of his life and let Martin fuck him?  
Harry shivers at the thought. The only person he wants in his life is Louis.  
Louis takes a deep breath to calm his heartbeat. He knows this is all very difficult to Harry, and he doesn't want him to struggle so much.  
"Last time I met someone at least sexually interested in me, it was -honestly, Harry- two years ago." Louis says almost in a whispers, lowering his head.  
He's not ashamed of it, but he can't stop thinking about the way he behaved with Harry when he was younger.  
He can't stop the horrible feeling, the regret, the hate he feels toward himself for what he did. He tries not to make it noticeable, though.  
Harry looks at Louis for a while, analysing his face.  
Louis keeps looking down when five minutes are passed, and Harry guesses there's something wrong.  
He caresses Louis' cheek lighlty, enjoying the sound and the feeling of Louis' short bear brushing on his thumb.  
"Did something happen? Something you didn't like?" Harry gently asks, and Louis finally looks at him again.  
He wants to cry now because of all the feelings which are desperately trying to overwhelm him.  
Especially two things are fighting against each other in his head (heart): regrets, sadness, hate, for what he did to Harry and relief because of the way he feels around Harry, the fact he can be himself when he's with him and doesn't have to pretend he's a 'tough man you can't mess with'.  
Louis shakes his head, not trusting his voice, and Harry has no doubt, he's sure Louis' not pretending, now.  
"I had been with two people in these last past years, and it was a period of my life when I was particularly sure I needed someone beside me, someone to make me feel better, someone I could trust." Harry says, guessing Louis isn't going to talk soon.  
Louis stiffens at Harry's words. 'Someone I could trust'.  
Why did Louis had to treat Harry so indignantly?  
"And, really, I felt like there actually could be a chance to feel complete, or simply happy, you know. I wanted to feel happy really, really bad. And I did. But not because of those two relationships I had." Harry's whispering now, still caressing Louis' fingers, while Louis turned his body in Harry's direction and now has a leg over Harry's lap, the other one bent. The hand which was on Harry's knee is now on his shoulder.  
"But, really, Louis. I've never felt like this before. Not even when we were dating. This is a completely different thing, and I know it's too early to talk about our feelings, but, really, all those years were enough."  
Louis leans over Harry and gives him an eskimo kiss, brushing his nose on Harry's.  
He wanted to do it so bad.  
Harry looks surprised for a moment, but he eventually smiles.  
He pecks Louis' lips, feeling a shiver run down his spine, and Louis pecks his lips the following second.  
Harry pecks Louis' lips again, and Louis smiles, and pecks Harry's lips.  
"Felt the same exact way. And it's not too early Harry, I fucking waited for this from the moment I realized how stupid-"  
Harry cuts Louis off by kissing his lips slowly, without pulling away at first. Louis smiles and parts his lips, making Harry part his lips almost simultaneously, and Louis' tongue enters Harry's mouth in the same moment Harry's tongue enters Louis' mouth, and Louis' body gets even closer to Harry. Harry, who puts his hands on Louis' hips and squeezes them, loving how curvy they are, despite Martin's.  
Louis keeps kissing Harry, deepening the kiss as much as he can and holding his body tight, an attempt to prove Harry how fucking in love with him he is.  
Harry sighs on Louis' lips and enjoys how they feel on his own, he enjoys his tongue, his teeth which sometimes brush on Harry's tongue or directly bite at Harry's lower lip.  
The point is, they don't even bother thinking about their hard-ons, because they're too trapped in their feelings, how intense they are, how powerful, how amazing it is to finally have the one you love in your arms, kissing him.  
Harry gently pulls away two hours later -yes, they snogged for two hours straight- satisfied. He's feeling better now, Louis too.   
"Missed you so fucking much." Louis whispers on Harry's lips, and Harry smiles, pecking Louis' lips.  
"Missed you, too. Even if sometimes I wished I hadn't met you." Harry says, but his voice is gentle, soft, and it doesn't bother Louis as much as it should.  
After all, Louis knew it.  
"But sometimes I feel the opposite. Like now. I'd do it all over again, if I ended up like this" Harry pecks Louis' lips.  
"With you." he pecks Louis' lips again.  
"Right now." he kisses Louis' cheeks. "Kissing you." Harry whispers, kissing the skin under Louis' ear, making the man shiver slightly.  
Louis' not really used to all these attentions Harry's giving him, he fears he'll wake up at any moment and find out this is just a beautiful dream -Harry's everything he's ever wanted.  
"You serious?" Louis asks, lighlty smiling. Harry looks at him and nods, smiling, then he leans back on the couch and closes his eyes.  
"Maybe I'm being too sweet with you, and definitely too straight-forward. Honestly, I don't care. As you...said before." Harry takes a deep breath and puts a hand on his forehead.  
"All those years were enough."   
Louis nods and senses there's something which isn't right, so he caresses Harry's knee.  
Harry's eyes are still closed, and Louis is starting to get worried.  
"Harry?"   
Harry hums something in response, taking Louis' hand in his own and squeezing it.  
He caresses his forhead and breaths slighlty heavily.  
"You alright?" Louis asks, concerned, and Harry nods.  
His eyes are still closed.  
"You sure?" Louis tries again, but Harry just nods.  
He looks at him for a second, and then looks down at his hand. Harry's hand, cold but at the same time sweaty.  
Harry's hands are never sweaty.  
When Harry opens his eyes again, a couple of seconds later, he looks at Louis, and- is he frightened?  
Louis is more concerned now. "Har, what's wrong? You look as if you've seen a ghost."   
Harry's face is lightly paler than his usual pink, lovely skin, and Louis is sweating just at the thought of Harry not feeling well.  
"Don't worry, 's nothing. Just 'ave to wait." Harry says, and it surely doesn't make Louis calm down.  
Harry closes his eyes, and Louis touches his forhead with his right hand.   
He doesn't have a temperature, that's sure. He caresses Harry's cheeks, staring at him, wishing he could do something.  
He was completely okay three seconds ago, what happened?  
"Do you feel like you're going to faint?" Louis asks, since it's the only option possible he can think about. Harry slightly nods, and Louis stands up.  
"I'll be right back in four seconds. Or something like that. Don't move." Louis runs to his kitchen, takes a glass of water for Harry and brings it to him.   
He's standig in front of him after a couple of seconds, "Har, try to drink this, yeah?" Louis asks, sitting down and pointing at the glass when Harry opens his eyes.  
"Is it vodka?" Harry asks, trying to be funny.  
"This could be." Louis says, slighlty smiling, and Harry takes the glass of water with his trembling hand.  
"Want me to help you?" Louis' getting so worried he thinks he's going to faint, too.  
What is he supposed to do?  
How long is it going to last?   
Does Louis has to call a doctor? His mum? A psychologist?  
Harry shakes his head and slowly drinks some water.  
He holds the glass in Louis' direction when he's done and thanks him, his voice almost a whisper.  
Louis nods and puts the glass on the coffee table.  
"When did you eat last time? At work?" Louis asks, trying to figure out why Harry's feeling so weak.  
Harry shakes his head and opens his eyes to look at Louis. They look so different, as if they're hurting, Louis thinks.   
Then he mentally face-palms himself, because he shouldn't have such stupid thoughts.  
"Yesterday, at dinner." Harry states calmly, and Louis' head is spinning so fast, his heart once again is beating too fast, because it's not possible that Harry hasn't eaten in twenty four hours.  
Louis takes a deep breath, while Harry just looks at Louis' reaction.   
He doesn't want Louis to get worried over him, but he has to admit it's cute how Louis seems to be concerned about Harry's health.  
This is why instead of feeling worse, Harry smiles.   
Louis looks at him, and he doesn't know what he has to think about first.  
There are too many things in his head now.  
"Why are you smiling, Harry? Please, tell me you're feeling better. Are you alright now? I'm not going to say anything about how you should have eaten before, you can't risk to faint, because it's annoying. What if you'd been alone? Oh, shit. Harry, please, tell me you're not going to miss your meals again, I'm begging you." Louis says quickly, holding Harry's hands -that aren't trembling as much as before- and trying not to overreact.  
"So cute, saying all those things, Lou. Why you worried?" Harry asks, because he wants to hear Louis saying it.  
"Why?" Louis chuckles, "I mean, you skipped all your fucking meals and are feeling so bad, I don't even know how bad you're feeling, and I don't want you to feel bad, Harry, why didn't you eat? Can I get you something? Please, eat something. Whatever you want." Louis says, not even realizing what he's saying. He swears he doesn't know.  
Harry smiles wider and kisses Louis' fingers.   
Louis' startled, "What?"  
"Didn't eat because this morning...I was in a rush and forgot my wallet and mobile phone at home. Didn't even have the time to eat something. Honestly...when I got home...I was so eager to see you I forgot about...my stomach. There...are butterflies in it now, so it's not completely empty." Harry says, and Louis is relieved. He can see Harry's feeling better already.  
Wait.  
"What?" Louis asks again, because he's not sure he heard Harry right.  
Was Harry serious?  
Harry chuckles at his startled face, "Maybe it's because you're not making me think about it, but I'm feeling better. Slightly better. I'll eat something...when I go home."   
Louis doesn't know how to react. Should he be surprised, amused, excited, relieved, happy, astonished, worried, or shocked?  
He goes for the worried and happy option.  
"Harry, wait. Wait...wait. You kidding me?"   
Harry shakes his head no, "Also, it's something that happens pretty often, I know how to handle it. It's almost over, it's normal to be that quick, if I'm lucky."  
What does he mean by 'if him luckly'? Louis thinks, and gets even more worried.  
"What do you want to eat?"  
Harry closes his eyes, and Louis carefully looks at him.  
What's happening now? Why did Harry close his eyes? What's wrong?  
"I don't know, maybe you?" Harry asks, and Louis actually thinks about calling a psychologist, because Harry's making him go crazy.  
"Harry, I'm serious. Uhg, never mind, I'll be back in a moment." Louis runs in the kitchen and takes the first thing he sees in his freezer that could be enough for a meal.   
"Don't move!" Louis screams from where he's starting to cook the chicken nuggets -he'd bought them for his sisters, but Harry now is more important-, making Harry smile.   
He's actually feeling better, and he loves how Louis is really taking care of him. He couldn't be happier, because the anxious tone in Louis' voice and the way he rushed to the kitchen, just to cook something for Harry, are those little things that make Harry feel happy.  
Harry now is really sure Louis' being serious, that he's not pretending, he's not taking advantage of Harry.  
That makes Harry smile wider.   
Louis rushes back in the living room, where Harry's seated in the same position he was when Louis left him, and he's now looking at Louis' worried face.  
"You feeling better?" Louis asks, sitting near Harry and taking his no longer trembling hand.   
Louis relaxes lighlty.  
At least Harry's not trembling anymore.  
Harry nods, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." he says, with a soft voice, and Louis takes a deep breath.  
"I don't know what happened. To me, I mean. I shouldn't have overreact. Should have make you relax, not the opposite." Louis sighs, looking at Harry.  
"Lou, you did great. It's actually...I mean, I like it that you're cooking for me. It's really nice of you." Harry says, and Louis suddenly remembers he left the nuggets in the kitchen, alone, on a frying pan.  
"Shit. Sorry, Harry." Louis quickly heads to the kitchen again, and he sighs in relief when he makes sure the nuggets aren't burned. Yet.  
He flips them and waits for them to be ready, after he told Harry to hold on. Once they're ready, Louis puts the nuggets in a plate, pours some water in a glass -yeah, another one- and takes a fork and a towel. He puts everything on a tray and brings it to Harry.  
When Harry sees him, his heart doesn't know if it should stop, or beat faster.  
It starts beating way too fast.  
"Here. Sorry again. Hope you're really feeling better." Louis puts the tray on Harry's lap, while Harry takes it in his hands, looking at it.  
When he looks at Louis, he's smiling so much his dimples are screaming Louis to kiss them.  
So Louis recovers for a moment, reminds himself he's the luckiest man in the world, and sits on the couch, kissing Harry's dimples.  
Harry giggles cutely and pecks Louis' lips. "So, you're feeling better, mh?" Louis asks, pecking Harry's lips, and Harry pecks Louis' lips again.  
He nods, and Louis can't resist him.  
He puts a hand in Harry's hair, and gently kisses Harry.   
He loves him so much.  
Harry kisses him back and tries to deepen the kiss, but Louis pulls away.  
Harry pouts at him.  
"First, your nuggets. You have to eat. Then, we'll see." Louis says, firmly, half jokingly half seriously.   
Harry nods, still pouting, "Alright...daddy."   
He whispers the last part and Louis isn't sure of what he's just heard.  
Harry starts eating a nugget, as if he didn't say anything, and smirks when he looks at Louis' slighlty parted lips, his face startled.  
"What?" Harry asks, still eating, and Louis now is smirking, too.  
"What did you say?" Louis asks, trying to figure out if he needs a psychologist or a psychiatric.  
Or maybe he just needs Harry.  
"Uhm..." Harry swallows and drinks some water, "I said, alright." He tries not to smirk again.  
He's innocent, after all.  
Louis keeps staring at him, now suspicious, "It wasn't the only thing you said, was it?"  
"Yes," Harry nods, "It was."   
He keeps eating and looks at the TV he'd switched on before.  
Louis looks at him, confused.   
Now he's sure Harry called him 'daddy', and why is he even excited and surprised?  
After all, Louis was the one who restarted this when he and Harry were in the elevator, a couple of weeks ago.  
Oh, Louis remembers that day.  
He tries not to think about Harry's reaction and the way Louis would always stroke Harry's thigh, how lovely he's always been, how beautiful, breathtaking, gorgeous and amazing Harry's ever been.  
And Harry tries not to think about Louis, about all the things which involve him -the same things Louis' trying not to think about Harry.  
"Tell me whatever you want, I didn't bring everything in here because there isn't enough room." Louis says, trying to distract himself.  
Harry wants to smile because of how lovely Louis is, but he simply drinks the water he has left and puts the tray on the coffee table.  
His breath shouldn't be that bad, since he left most of the water for the end of his meal.  
He turns in Louis' direction and takes his hand in his own, "You did bring everything I need, Lou." he says with that rough voice of his, and Louis puts his leg over Harry's lap, again.  
Harry smiles and caresses Louis' leg, while Louis gets closer to him.  
And, really, it's not because of their hard-ons, Louis doesn't fucking care about them, now.   
He just wants to stay as near Harry as he can, just as much as Harry wants to be close to him. He loves being so connected with Louis, it's like he can feel how Louis feels, and Harry loves him even more.   
He doesn't know how he could think he hated Louis, that Friday night. Louis was just extremely jealous, and they both know it. Harry would have probably acted in the same way.  
"You sure? Do you want any bread?" Louis asks, making Harry smile.  
"I want your lips on mine, if it's not too much." Harry says, and Louis smiles, his eyes no longer worried and his expression happy.  
"Really?" he asks, making Harry chuckle while he nods.  
"Absolutely."  
Louis puts his hands on Harry's hips then, and finally kisses him.  
Harry smiles at the warmness of Louis' mouth and body, and happily kisses him back.  
This is just the beginning, but they both love it.

 

Harry wakes up feeling a trail of kisses on his jawline, and smiles when his mind connects to reality.  
Yes, Louis is finally kissing his jawline, this is why he's excited at 1 a.m.  
Harry slowly opens his eyes after a couple of seconds, and Louis stops, relieved that Harry is not asleep anymore. He has to control himself, but it's twice hard when he doesn't get Harry's reaction, when he's sleeping.  
Louis won't kiss Harry's neck. He won't touch his nipples, nor his lower body.  
He'll just keep brushing his fingers over Harry's beautiful face and hips, or knee. That's it.  
He wants to take it really slow, so that Harry can trust him again.  
"Hello, sleepy boy." Louis smiles, and leaves a kiss on Harry's nose.  
Harry, layed on Louis' couch, looks at Louis and realizes he's kneeling beside him.  
"Hi, Lou. I think you'll hurt your knee if you don't change position." Harry's illegal voice says, testing Louis' control and willpower. Louis won't touch Harry. He can't. He has to wait. Yes, he'll wait.  
He can do this.  
He can-  
"Don't want your knees to hurt."  
Shit, Harry's voice.  
Louis clears his throat and shakes his head no, "Don't worry, it's okay. I don't want you to go away, I just wanted to tell you its almost half past one. Maybe you have something to do tomorrow morning? Don't know..."  
Harry snaps his eyes open and sits up, taking a deep breath, "Sorry, Lou. Shit, I felt asleep in here. Again."  
Louis chuckles, "Don't worry, it's just fate."  
Harry looks at Louis and smiles, he already feels better just because of the way Louis talked.  
"I'm really sorry. And, really, Lou, thank you so much for everything. I actually have work tomorrow mornig, and I have to wake up extemely early -long story." Harry sighs, and Louis caresses his knee.  
"You can tell me, if you want. I like long stories." Louis says, and Harry doesn't miss the way he emphatized 'long'. He chuckles, because Louis can be so cocky sometimes it's something funny for Harry.  
"Actually, it's not a long story. It's just early work I have to do. Guess my bed's waiting for me. When did I even fall asleep?" Harry asks, because he doesn't remember.  
"Maybe a hour ago or so. I was caressing your hair." Louis says, and Harry smiles at how Louis' voice softened.  
Louis can be so lovely when he wants to. Harry can't freaking resist him.  
Louis smiles, too, and stands up.  
And, well, Harry's face is too near Louis' lower body. This is so embarassing they both love it.  
Harry looks at Louis' clothed dick, and then he looks up at Louis, who's looking at him.  
"Oops." Louis steps back, chuckling, and Harry stands up, smiling.  
"Hi. Now it's me who's looking down at you. Ha." Harry says, kissing Louis' forehead, and Louis pouts.  
"You're too tall for me." Louis says, and Harry smiles, because it's almost the same thing he told Louis the other day, when they first kissed after all those years.  
"You're right, Lou."   
Harry pecks Louis' lips and caresses Louis, hips, leaning over his body.  
Louid excitedly wraps his arms around Harry's neck and kisses him back, countless times, stretching his calves and lifting his body towards Harry's lips as much as he can.  
Harry finds it incredibly cute.  
He lifts Louis' body by his hips for a moment, and Louis chuckles on his lips, "What are you doing,  
Har?" Louis asks, still chuckling, because Harry's holding Louis' body up from the floor, and nobody's ever done somethjng like that with Louis.  
Harry chuckles and lets Louis touch the floor, "Shh."   
Louis looks at Harry, trying to find out if he wants him to actually shut up, or if it was nothing, but then Harry's lips are pressing on Louis', and, oh well.  
What was Louis' surname? He thinks he forgot it.  
Louis kisses Harry back, again, this time holding even more tightly on him, and he loves kissing Harry.  
Harry holds Louis' body in his hands, and it's strange, he's not used to hold someone like that, but he likes it so much he just squeezes Louis' body more.  
Harry doesn't understand how Louis' tongue can be so amazing, especially when it brushes on his own, or on his lower lips.  
"Can't stop." Harry whispers on Louis' lips, before kissing Louis from a diffetent angle.  
Louis hums in his mouth, making Harry smile.  
"Don't want to..." Louis whispers back, and the following second his lips are on Harry's again.  
Louis ends up sitting on the couch, but when Harry gets on top of him, Louis pulls away and looks at Harry.  
"Har, wait." Louis breathes, and Harry groans, because Louis can't fucking call him that, right now, with that voice slighlty rough, with his lips all red and swollen because of Harry.   
Louis smiles, since he knows the reason of Harry's reaction.  
"What?" Harry asks, breathing a little bit faster than usual, as Louis is doing right now. At least it's not embarassing, if they both are in the same condition.  
Harry sits down on the couch, close to Louis, and looks expectantly at him.  
"You have to understand, Harry, that is not healthy for my mind and body if you're too close to me. You don't realize how powerful you are. Now, since I don't want to rush things, I'm going to keep distance from you. I mean, I'll just try to pretend my dick doesn't exist. And, I'm sorry, it's not my fault, remember."   
Harry's so happy right now, so glad that Louis actually seems to have changed, he apprecciates him so much.  
He puts a hand on Louis' arm, and Louis turns in his direction to put his hand on Harry's knee, as always.  
"I think you're being honest, so I feel safe to say I wasn't expecting you to tell me so. And I want to kiss you so bad, because you're so adorable, and, honestly, I don't care I shouldn't say all those things. It's not too early, fuck it. I missed you way too much, Lou. I can't wait any longer." Harry whispers, getting closer to Louis, inch by inch, till his lips brush on Louis'.  
Louis squeezes Harry's knee and leans oer to kiss his lovely boy again, even if Harry is not his, yet.  
Louis gently kisses Harry's lips, sometimes pecking his cheeks, and Harry's so glad Louis wants to take it slow he could start screaming for happiness.  
"Missed you, Har." Louis whispers on Harry's lips, and Harry kisses him more deeply, his lips moving slightly faster.  
Louis hums and cups his cheeks in his hands.  
"Lou." Harry whispers in between their kiss, and Louis caresses his thumb over Harry's lower lip, making Harry put his hands on the Louis' waist.  
"Me too. Don't want to go home." Harry mumbles, making Louis smile.  
"Stay."   
Harry pecks Louis' lips and looks at him.  
Louis caresses his cheeks, while Harry brushes his fingers over Louis' thigh, which is on his lap.  
"I shouldn't get so attached to you." Harry whispers.  
Louis looks down, dropping his hands on his lap, "Me neither."  
Harry looks at him for a couple of seconds.  
"Lou."   
Louis nervously twists his fingers, an attempt to relieve his tension.  
"Louis." Harry says, more firmly.  
Louis slowly looks at him, "I want you to trist me, but everytime I think about it, or say it out loud I feel so bad, Harry, because I used to say it everytime without meaning it. And now I mean it, but I don't know how to make you understand I actually mean it. It's not a lie." Louis lowers his gaze again, he can't look at Harry now.  
Harry takes a deep breath.  
"I'm sorry, Harry. It's obvious you don't deserve me. I don't want you to go away, neither, because I fear you'll never come back again." Louisadmits, feeling a complete idiot.  
He had to tell Harry those things, in fact know he feels slighlty better.  
Harry doesn't really know what to say. He trusts Louis now, even if he's always hesitant, but he doesn't trust his own voice in this moment, so he leans over Louis and leaves a kiss on his cheek.  
Louis closes his eyes and slides his hand on Harry's back, gently pushing him against his body, and waiting for the next kiss.  
Harry rests his left hand on Louis' leg and puts his right hand on Louis' shoulder, reaching for his neck and caressing it.  
"Can't stay away from you." Harry simply states, whispering in Louis' ear and leaving a kiss underneath it.  
Louis shivers at that, and Harry smiles.  
"Harry." Louis whispers, right when Harry starts leaving a trail of kisses on his neck, making his body go crazy.  
"Don't..." Louis tries to say, but Harry can't stop now, Louis' skin is so soft and kissable, he can't stop.  
"Harry..." Louis breathes, making Harry smirk.  
Their ability to switch their mood from worried, concerned, lost to something heated and hot is astonishing.  
"I think I should stop." Harry whispers, sucking a hickey on Louis' skin.  
Louis hisses and tries not to moan at how amazing Harry's hickey felt.  
"You've never gave me one." Louis says, weakly, and Harry's still smirking.  
He kisses the bruise on Louis' skin and bites it, making Louis' hand clench around Harry's back muscles, pushing his body closer.  
"You fucking should." Louis says, making Harry chuckle.  
"You're adorable." Harry whispers, kissing Louis cheeks.  
Louis sighs and looks at Harry when the sex god in front of him is done making him go crazy.  
Not really.  
Harry smiles, seeing how good Louis looks right now, his face almost in the dark, if it wasn't for the soft light which comes from the very end of the room.  
Louis keeps himself from saying he loves Harry, and smiles, he can't help it.  
"You're stunning." Louis says, making Harry blush, and -shit, his cheeks.  
"If I don't go now, I'll stay here. That'd ruin your plans to take it slow, which I really like. I mean, your plans. I like them. Not the fact we'd speed up the process." Harry says quickly, making Louis chuckle, while he stands up.  
"I agree with you, my dear." Louis says, and Harry stands up, too.  
They both try not to stare at their hard-ons- and try not to think about all the things they could do right now, failing miserably.  
They head to the door in silence, and Louis slowly opens it for Harry to leave.  
Sadly.  
Harry looks at Louis and pecks his lips, but Louis holds his body close and deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue in Harry's mouth right when the sex god parts his lips.  
They kiss for a while, on the doorstep, brushing their fingers on their bodies, wishing they'd never stop, and after half a hour they pull away.  
"Night Lou." Harry says, looking at him, while he exits the flat.  
Louis licks his lips without even thinking about it. Harry tries not to stare at his lips.  
He doesn't succeed.  
"Good night, see you...tomorrow?" Louis asks, because he has to make sure he'll see Harry again.  
Harry smiles, focusing on Louis' eyes, and nods. "See you tomorrow. I mean, it's already tomorrow. Alright, uhm...sweet dreams." Harry cutely says, and Louis has to tell himself not to kiss Harry again.  
"You, too. Thank you, Har." Louis says, and they both know he's not referring to the 'sweet dreams'.  
Harry smiles and finally steps away, walking slowly toward his door. Louis looks at him while Harry enters his flat, waving with his hand before closing the door.  
Louis closes his door, too, and sighs.  
He heads for his bedroom and lies on the bed, then he grabs his phone and checks the time.  
Three a.m.  
He smiles, because for the first time it's three in the night and he's not extremely sad, as he used to be.  
He thinks about every single moment he spent with Harry that day, every word he said, every smile, every kiss.  
He thinks about the way Harry's hands brushed on him, how soft but also how strong they felt, as if to protect him.  
He sighs when his hard-on doesn't get better. Of course not, he's still thinking about Harry.  
Well, it's time for a wank, isn't it?


	43. October 7th, 2016

Okay, so.  
It's finally friday, that means that both Harry and Louis don't have to work as much as they usually do during the week, that means they can see each other even if it's almost 6 p.m.  
That means Harry has a plan and can't wait to tease Louis the whole freaking evening.  
That means Louis' staring at his phone, tempted to call Harry to ask him if he wants to go on a date -their first official date outside their houses.  
But, of course, since their actions are always linked in a strange way, Louis dials Harry's number right when Harry rings at his doorbell.  
All right.  
So, Louis quickly stands up from his couch, his sweats low on his pelvis, and heads to the door, already knowing who he'll find there.  
You see, Harry and Louis have been doing this for a couple of weeks now. They decide to see each other without even a call, the only source for them is the doorbell. They almost have memorized their timelines -very generally- so they know when the other could be at home or not.  
But, Louis thought it'd have been too cheeky to ring at Harry's doorbell and ask him out for a date.  
By the way, when Louis opens the door and sees Harry, he almost chokes on his own breath.  
Harry smiles brightly, while Louis checks the sex god in front of him out, noticing he has a gym outfit on, sneakers and a gym bag.  
Louis makes his gaze travel up and down Harry's body for what could be the 15th time, till he finally connects his mind to his actions and steps closer to Harry, looking into his eyes.  
"Hi, Lou." Harry says, still smiling, knowing the effect he has on the man.  
"Well, hi. Are you going to a photo shoot?" Louis asks, without even mentally face-palming himself.  
Harry chuckles and shakes his head no.  
So freaking adorable, Louis thinks.  
"Since we happen to go to the same gym, I wanted to know if you're available for my car now." Harry says, getting closer to Louis.  
They're already too close. They passed the limit when you have a chance to process things. They're too close to think properly now.  
And no, they won't step back because of it.  
"What?"  
In fact, Louis didn't get a single word that came out from Harry's mouth.  
Harry's soft, nice, kissable mouth.  
"Do you want to go to the gym with me?" asks Harry, slighlty blushing.  
Louis absolutely loves him.  
He adores him.  
He doesn't know how to control his feelings right now, Harry's so lovely.  
He just smiles, trying not to kiss Harry all over his face and body.  
"Yeah, why not? But...uhm...do you want to come over just for a second? Wanted to ask you something." says Louis, gathering his courage.  
Harry nods, "Sure, Lou. What is it?" he asks, entering the flat and closing the door.  
Louis takes a deep breath, while Harry lets his gym bag drop on the floor.  
"Do you have any plans for this evening? Actually, for your dinner." Louis says, trying to breath regularly.  
Harry holds his breath for a moment. Why does Louis want to know if he has plans? What does he want to do?  
Is it what Harry thinks it is?  
Is it a date?  
Keep calm, Harry says in his mind, shaking his head no.  
"Don't have any plans, why?" Harry asks, and Louis is partly relieved.  
"I'm going to ask you something and I don't plan to use weird words ot stuff. I mean, I'll go straight to the question. You can say no, of course." Louis says, making Harry's heart beat faster.  
Harry nods, "Yeah, Lou, don't worry. Ask me whatever you want." he says, trying not to make Louis notice he wants to know so bad what he has to tell him.  
"Okay." Louis takes a deep breath, "Do you want to have dinner with me? Like, in a restaurant. Not something too fancy, just a little bit. I want to take you out somewhere nice, you know? Whatever you want, I mean, we can always stay here as always, of course, but I wanted to do something interesting. For you" Louis quickly says, and Harry wants to kiss him forever.  
"Louis." Harry says, softly, leaning over Louis and brushing his fingers over Louis' cheek.  
Louis frozes for a moment.  
"Y-you can, I mean, you can...say no, of course, I won't get mad, I promise, if you say no I won't bother you anymo-"  
Harry presses his lips on Louis', cupping his cheeks with his palms, and Louis relaxes a couple of seconds later.  
He parts his lips right when Harry tries to push his tongue in his mouth, and they kiss for a couple of minutes till Harry pulls out.  
Louis whines, making Harry smile.  
He kisses Louis on his cheeks and looks at him.  
This is wrong, and he knows it, but he doesn't care. He loves Louis way too much to stop seeing him.  
"I think for this time I may be available." Harry says, showing his dimples.  
Louis wants to spend the rest of his life with him.  
"You have to check your agenda?" Louis asks.  
Harry chuckles, caressing Louis' hips -when did he slide his hands there?  
Louis isn't going to complain, though.  
Of course not.  
He puts his hands on Harry's shoulder and pecks his lips.  
Harry's still smiling his lovely smile.  
"Yeah, thank you for the reminder."  
Louis pecks Harry's lips again, making the boy peck his lips and squeeze his hips.  
"No problem, Har." Louis says, making Harry go crazy.  
That fucking voice of his.  
'Har'.  
Louis must be illegal.  
What is Harry supposed to do to him?  
He has a couple of nice ideas, actually.  
Louis smirks, knowing the effect he has on Harry, but it's interrupted by Harry's lips pressing on his.  
Louis instintively lifts on his tip toes and kisses Harry, sliding his tongue in Harry's mouth.  
Harry eagerly kisses him back, eventually using his tongue, too, and after a couple of minutes he makes Louis step back.  
Louis chuckles, because this is not how it works.  
"What are you laughing at?" Harry asks, pulling away.  
"Was laughing at you, actually."  
Harry pouts.  
Shit.  
Louis kisses him again as eagerly as they were kissing before, and this time makes Harry step back until he's pressing against a wall.  
"What you doing?" Harry whispers on Louis' lips, and Louis bites Harry's lower lip.  
"Making sure you don't get confused." Louis simply says, because he's the dominant one, and Harry plays dumb.  
"What do you mean?" he asks innocently, and Louis smirks, kisses him again.  
They eventually manage to go to the gym and workout while sending each other glances once in a while.  
Looking at Louis' flexing muscles is making Harry ask why did he got so lucky and how was it possible.  
He reminds himself he wasn't so lucky when he was sixteen, but maybe things are going to turn different this time.  
Who knows? He has to give Louis another chance.  
He can do this.  
On the other hand, Louis' trying not to stare just at Harry's body and focuses on his sets.  
The point is, Harry's working out his legs today.  
Seeing his legs' muscles flex every two seconds while pushing on those gym machines isn't helpful.  
Harry's situation is not different, since Louis is working out the arms, and he can't stop thinking about how good those arms of his would look while holding his weight on them, while he's fucking Harry.  
Shit, Harry's mind should stop thinking about Louis.  
Harry has to focus, concetrate, workout.  
The fact both boys are thinking about each other's bodies, means they're not doing the sets right, or else their minds wouldn't distract.  
Harry tries very hard to take a hold of himself and concentrate on his sets, but when he opens his eyes at the end of the circuit and sees two blue-light eyes staring at him and the most beautiful human being ever smirking at him, he gives up.  
"Oh, hi, Lou. What...I mean, need any help?" Harry asks, almost breathless, and not just because Louis is breathtaking.  
Louis looks at Harry's body a couple of times, seeing he's got a semi, and when he looks back at Harry's eyes, he raises his eyebrows.  
Harry loves it when Louis acts sassy, he kind of seems to be more dominant when he's like that.  
"Can't I check how my flat mate is doing?" Louis asks, his voice sending chills all over Harry's body, layed on the gym machine helplessly, his quads still burning, for they have pushed forward heavier weights than usual.  
"Flat mate? Is this what you think I am?"  
Louis gets closer to Harry, "You can be my flat mate, if you want." Louis says, emphatizing 'my'.  
Harry tries to act cool, though.  
"But I already am. You called me that"  
His breath is not slowing down.  
Louis' trying to act cool, too.  
"Yeah, but I wasn't talking about that kind of thing. Was referring to something else, actually."  
Is Louis saying what Harry thinks he's saying? In a gym? With a breathless Harry who just finished his set?  
This is the most romantic thing ever, Harry thinks.  
Maybe he's a little bit too fond of Louis, but he's always been, so.  
"What about you? You want to be my personal trainer? 'Cause I don't think I'm doing this right. Is this why you were staring at me?" Harry asks, surprising himself, and Louis smirks.  
When did he got the guts to say so?  
"Well, yeah, I wanted to ask you if you have a personal trainer, because if you don't, then I'd be glad to be yours." Louis says softly now, and Harry thinks he's going to wake up soon from his dream.  
He doesn't want to.  
"No, I don't have one, can't you tell?"  
Louis chuckles, this role things they're doing is amazing.  
"You don't seem to need a personal trainer, this is why I asked."  
Now it's Harry who's raising his eyebrows.  
"So you think I'm sexy?"  
Louis snorts. Pft. No.  
"Of course...not."  
Louis chuckles again at Harry's fake disappoined face.  
"But I do!" he exclaims cutely, and Louis doesn't know till how long he can resist him.  
"I know you think I'm sexy, yeah." he says cooly.  
"Wasn't referring to you. I was talking about me." Harry states, smiling.  
Louis pretends to gasp, and Harry laugh because he can't help it.  
Louis gives up and laughs too, admiring Harry's dimples.  
"So now I'm your flat mate? Like, yours yours?"  
Harry asks.  
"Yeah, and I'm your personal trainer. Nice couple, we are." Louis says, smiling, and Harry pulls Louis closer to him by his shoulder and pecks his lips.  
"Very nice." he agrees, smiling at Louis.  
They're smiling like two idiots.  
And then Louis pecks Harry's lips.

 

All right, Harry shouldn't trust Louis, he shouldn't even kiss him, he shouldn't look at him as if he's the most beautiful man in the history -which, according to Harry, he is- and definitely shouldn't flirt with him.  
But, well, he's been doing all these things lately and he couldn't be happier.  
However, he knows he's going to regret this one day, but he's trying to live the present and forget about the past, so.  
Now he's in Louis' car -yes, the same he had six years ago, when they used to date- and they're heading to a restaurant, after they'd got back home and had a shower.  
So, a couple of questions -and answers- now.  
\- Where Louis' left hand is? On Harry's knee.  
\- How is Harry feeling? Nervous and excited.  
\- How is Louis feeling? Excited and nervous.  
\- What else are they both feeling like? Confused about their friendship/relationship.  
\- What the fuck has happened in the gym? They don't know it. Exactly.  
As if sensing Harry's tense, Louis gently moves his hand on Harry's knee back and forth, for he wants to make him feel relaxed.  
He's tense, too, but it's because he's finally taking out this amazing boy.  
"You okay, Har?" Louis asks, and Harry licks his lips unconsciously.  
"Sure."  
Louis wants to look at Harry, but he has to pay attention to the road.  
"Yeah? You're so eager to see some food you're getting anxious?" Louis jokes, and Harry smiles, looking at him.  
"Was hoping you wouldn't find out." Harry tries to joke too.  
"Well, I have to admit I'm a bit jealous of it, but what can I do? If you prefer it..."  
Harry smiles wider and puts a hand on Louis' shoulder, near his neck, slightly caressing his hair.  
Louis looks for a moment at Harry, since there's a stop, and smiles when he sees the beauty in front of him.  
Louis looks back at the road in front of him, and Harry blushes.  
Don't ask him why.  
"Your hair is so soft." Harry whispers, thinking out loud.  
Louis bends lightly his neck, his head in Harry's direction to get more contact, and he chuckles.  
Harry realizes he's said it out loud, but stays silent.  
"My mother bought me a new shampoo. She'd actually bought it for one of my sisters, but it was the wrong one, so guess where it ended up?"  
Harry chuckles this time, and traces Louis' ear with his thumb.  
"She gave it to you pretending it was a present?"  
Louis nods, "Something like that."  
Five minutes after that, Harry sighs and starts staring at Louis. He keeps doing it for the whole trip.

 

"Stay right here, please." Louis gently says, opening the car door by his side and heading in front of Harry from the outside.  
Harry doesn't have the time to process what Louis' doing, because after three seconds Louis opens his car door, smiling, and Harry is in love even more.  
His heartbeat is beating faster already at the sign of Louis' smile.  
"Thank you." Harry says, smiling, getting out the car.  
Louis closes his car and puts his hand on Harry's back, "My pleasure."  
Harry snorts at that, but keeps smiling.  
Despite his previous thoughts and worries, he feels like all of this is absolutely right.  
And Louis hopes Harry won't notice his trembling hand on his back -if he hasn't already.  
They enter the restaurant, which isn't too fancy, and Harry's relieved.  
"Table for two." Louis says to the waiter who asks them what they need, and Harry's heartbeat is going crazy.  
'Table for two'.  
He can't stop repeating in his mind this sentence and the way Louis said it.  
The waiter walks them to a table, and Harry realizes Louis, in the meanwhile, has said his surname to the waiter, and that he'd rather have a table in a corner.  
Harry tries to control his emotions, he's not sixteen anymore, he has to control himself, and looks at Louis while the waiter is saying something.  
Louis nods to the waiter and thanks him, and makes Harry sit on a chair, holding it for him.  
"Thank you, Lou." Harry sweetly says, and Louis caresses his hair for a moment.  
Harry closes his eyes, and when he opens them back he sees Louis seated in front of him, looking at him.  
"Do you like this place so far?" Louis asks, leaning on the table in Harry's direction, and Harry's mind works again properly.  
Harry leans on the table, too.  
"Yes, I like it. Is this where you take your flat mates?" Harry asks, teasing.  
Louis chuckles, "You have no idea." he says, emphatizing every letter.  
Those lips.  
Harry smiles, "Well, no, in fact I asked you."  
"Oh, no, please, don't start with your jokes, Harry." Louis says, his face is the most adorable Harry's ever seen.  
"What? You love them."  
Louis shakes his head, "If I say I love them, will you stop?"  
Harry pretends to think about it for a moment, "Of course...not."  
Louis covers his face with his hands, chuckling, and Harry chuckles, too, loving the way he feels when he's near Louis.  
"Good evening, I'll be your waiter for tonight. Is there something you want to drink before I take your orders?"  
Harry looks at the waiter for a moment, still thinking about how Louis is gorgeous, Louis mimics him.  
"I think some wine will be great, wouldn't it, Har?"  
Harry looks back at Louis, and he nods when something in his mind is telling him he has to react.  
"Alright, which one?"  
Louis looks at Harry with a smirk, then looks at the waiter.  
"Well, here we have the best human being on the Earth, so I guess the best wine you have will be enough?"  
The waiter smirks too and looks at Harry -who blushes-but tries to be professional.  
"Sure, Sir, best wine it is. Have you had a look at the menu already?"  
"Oh, actually, best human being here distracted me." Louis looks at Harry, who's still blushing.  
"No worries, I'll be back when you're ready." the waiter looks at them amused -in a positive way- and steps away.  
"Louis!" Harry exclaims when he's sure the waiter can't hear him.  
Louis laughs at Harry's face, and Harry wants to kiss him.  
What's wrong with his mood.  
Louis really is dangerous.  
"Stop!" Harry says, and Louis thinks his voice is so cute right now -it always is- he wants to kiss all over Harry's face.  
"What did I do?" Louis asks, recomposing himself.  
Harry crosses his arms and pretends he's upset, "Is it how you treat all your flat mates?"  
Louis smirks, "No, this is how I treat exclusively you, my dear. The others could never compare to you, and I'm being honest." he says, his voice now sounds more serious and Harry wants to kiss Louis, again.  
He looks down and smiles, but Louis sees him anyways.  
"You upset, Har?" Louis asks, pouting, even if he knows Harry's isn't upset at all.  
Louis touches Harry's ankle with his own, making the boy's stomach twist inside.  
Is Louis doing it on purpouse?  
Harry looks at Louis, who's looking at him knowingly.  
"U-uhm, not at all, no." Harry says, and slowly presses his ankle on Louis'.  
Is all of this real?  
"Alright, by the way we should have a look at the menu."  
"Oh, uhm, yes, right."  
After they choose their meal and call for their waiter, Louis makes sure to embarass Harry even more.  
"Would you like to order a dessert, or you'd like me to come later?" the waiter asks, and Louis shakes his head no, smiling -he's smirking.  
"I don't know, I already have a dessert here. Wouldn't it be too much to order another one?" Louis asks, making Harry blush.  
"Louis. Stop it." Harry says, making the waiter smile.  
"I think for now we're okay, thank you." Harry says the waiter, making him nod.  
"I'll be here back soon with your meals." the waiter says, leaving.  
Louis jokingly looks at Harry, trying not to smile too much at Harry's cuteness.  
"What were you doing? Stop being a sassy queen." Harry says, even if he loves it.  
He loves it when Louis is all sassy, he's extremely beautiful, and his mind doesn't have to think about anything else.  
It's amazing how Louis can affect Harry, but worrying at the same time.  
"You love it." Louis says, as if reading in Harry's mind.  
Is he like Edward Cullen?  
Harry would love that.  
Harry should stop thinking about these unheathly things.  
Edward Cullen is a fantasy charachter, Harry and the rest of the world has to accept that.  
The most unbelievably amazing book charachter.  
At least he does exist in books.  
"I don't." Harry says, trying to focus on Louis' words, rather than the ones in his head.  
Louis just smiles and uses the feet he has pressed on Harry's ankle to caress the boy, making him blush.  
Louis loves Harry so much.  
"How was your day?" Harry asks, as always, making Louis smile because that sentence seems the only one Harry uses to start a conversation with him.  
"Pretty nice, thanks. What about yours?"  
Harry puts his hand on the table, a little bit closer to Louis, and nods.  
"Confusing."  
Louis puts his hand on top of Harry's, making the boy shiver.  
"Are you okay...if...you know...the others see you holding...uhm...my hand?" Harry asks, feeling awkward all of a sudden.  
This is the first time the two of them actually go out, so Harry doesn't know if Louis is openly gay or not.  
He just knows he's in an official date with Louis Tomlinson, and in his head it sounds as something an excited thirteen-year old person would think/say.  
He's so excited.  
"I'm completely alright with that, Har. If it's okay for you, then it is for me." Louis says, making Harry smile.  
"Yeah, it's okay."  
It's completely fucking okay.  
They spend a couple of minutes staring at each other, in silence, because they both feel very comfortable and don't have anything to say.  
Their eyes are glued to each other, so it's not that they're getting bored.  
After some minutes, though, the waiter arrives with their dinner, smiling at them, and puts their plates in front of them.  
"Feel free to ask for anything you need." says the waiter, leaving Harry and Louis alone after they thanked him.  
Louis looks for the millionth time at Harry, who was already looking at him.  
"That looks good, doesn't it?" Louis asks, pointing at his plate.  
Harry lowers his gaze on it for a moment and looks at Louis again after a second, "Yeah, it does. Speaking of appeareance, don't you think the waiter is hot?" Harry asks, trying to make Louis jealous, just for fun, even if the waiter isn't really that hot.  
Louis raises his eyebrows and chuckles, "You're not serious."  
Harry tries not to smile, and nods.  
"I actually think he is. Don't you agree?" Harry asks, again, sounding innocent, while touching Louis' ankle with his feet.  
"Well, yeah, but there's someone else in here I know who really is hot. Not only hot, he also has a beautiful personality and he's the most adorable person I've ever met. I honestly don't care about the others." Louis says, and Harry almost chuckles on his own breath.  
Is Louis talking about Harry?  
"I mean it, Harry. You're amazing."  
Louis says, and he's never been that serious before.  
"I want to dedicate this evening to you. Seriously, Har, I hope you're having at least a little bit of fun." Louis keeps saying, and Harry's heart melts.  
Harry takes Louis' hand in his own and gently squeezes it, looking at it.  
Louis notices a little smile creeping on Harry's lips and he relaxes, knowing he may have said the right things.  
He feared Harry would have reacted negatively.  
"Thank you." Harry just replies, and then he remembers they still have to eat.  
"Lou, I think we should eat, yeah?"  
Harry looks at Louis, and watches him nod.  
"But I want to try a little bit of yours, too." Louis says, making Harry put his plat closer to Louis.  
"Here. Try it out already."  
Louis smiles, takes a forkful of Harry's weird pasta and tries it.  
"You like it?" Harry asks, looking at Louis.  
Louis nods, and then takes a forkful of his own spaghetti, leading it to Harry's mouth.  
When Louis' fork is in front of Harry's lips, Harry chuckles, and Louis tries not to get distracted by the boy's plump lips.  
"Your turn." Louis says.  
Harry smiles and opens his mouth, looking straight into Louis' eyes, and their eye contact is almost impossible to bare.  
Harry closes his mouth after Louis' fork is in it, and he simply tastes it, while Louis slides his fork out.  
Harry's lips are kind of screaming at Louis to do something to his mouth.  
"Mhmh." Harry mutters, nodding.  
"You like it?" now Louis asks, and Harry keeps nodding.  
"Yeah, really like it. Pay attention to it, I may eat your dinner before you even realize it."  
Louis chuckles and starts eating his dinner, smiling at Harry.  
"Well, at least try not to eat me, yeah? Not here."  
Harry sends a dirty smirk to Louis, "Thought it was you who was supposed to eat me out?" Harry says, and Louis rubs his feet on Harry's.  
"And you're right." Louis says, "So you'd like to be my dessert?" Harry's eating now, too. He needs to keep his mouth occupied.  
"Sure. Not for tonight, though."  
Louis nods, "Wasn't talking about tonight. Don't care when it'll be, I can wait."  
Harry needs Louis' tongue in his butt, though.

 

"How is it going?" the waiter asks, standing in front of Louis and Harry's table.  
They both look up at him -they were kind of eye-fucking.  
"Oh, yeah, everything was amazing, thank you." Harry says, and Louis looks at him.  
"Yeah, right, he was amazing. Told me he wants to be my dessert, so we don't need any." Louis says, looking at the waiter now.  
The waiter chuckles, looking at Harry -who's already blushing.  
"He thinks he's funny." Harry says the waiter, referring to Louis.  
"What about you, Sir? You don't want any dessert?" the waiter asks, smiling. It's been a while since he'd met a gay couple so nice, that even jokes with a stranger about desserts (sex). He absolutely loves gay couples.  
"Mh, I don't know." Harry looks at Louis, "Lou, what about my dessert?"  
Louis looks at Harry and smirks, "I'll take care of that, no worries."  
The waiter nods, "Well, if you need something else, just tell me."  
Harry and Louis nod at him, and he leaves.  
"I'm curious about my dessert. Am I going to have it tonight?" Harry asks, tracing Louis' fingers with his own.  
"I don't think so. I mean, we'll have our desserts together, some day, yeah?"  
Harry nods, "Yeah, seems right."  
They stare at each other for other two minutes in silence, while all around them people are talking.  
Louis lightly bends his neck to the right, and Harry mimics him, making him smile -Harry smiles, too.  
Louis' head is now in the same position it was before bending his neck, and Harry mimics him again.  
Louis shows his tongue to Harry, keeping his mouth closed, his lips slightly parted to let the tongue show.  
Harry does the same, and Louis silently chuckles, making Harry smile.  
Then Louis touches Harry's ankle with his feet, making Harry jump.  
He didn't expect it, for he was too focused on Louis' eyes to notice anything else.  
Harry now mimics Louis for the third time, touching his other ankle with his feet.  
"You're amazing."  
Did Harry hear Louis right?  
He just smiles.  
"You are amazing."

Harry replies, making Louis smile.  
"Do you think I have a chance to get a little portion of the dessert, tonight? 'Cause I feel the need to kiss you so bad." Louis confesses, caressing Harry's ankle.  
"Feel you. So yeah, I think I can let you kiss me. Of course, just a little peck." Harry says, smirking.  
Louis tries to keep his expression normal, "Well, yeah, of course. Just one. The others are on sale, right?"  
Harry laughes, making Louis ears regenerate.  
"Yeah, you got it. And I think I need to walk a little bit 'cause I've been sitting for too long." Harry says, and Louis smirks.  
"As if you're not used to it."  
Harry blushes, "You're an idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm alive, yeah.  
> what do you think about this chapter?  
> t h a n k s for reading it x
> 
> (those comments of yours in the previous chapters made my month)


	44. October 7th, 2016 -part two

"You still trying to open the door?" Louis asks chuckling, and Harry can't help it but chuckle as well.  
"I swear I'm trying so bad, but it's pretty difficult when you have someone behind you, who's hugging you and distracting you." Harry says, finally opening the door. Louis smiles, still hugging Harry from behind, and, yeah, this would be a nice position to fuck, but it's not the only thing Louis' thinking about, now. Hugging Harry feels so right, he's never really hugged him like that.  
"Wow, you made it. Extraordinary. Miracles exist. Unbelievable. I'm astonished." Louis says, and they both enter Harry's flat.  
"Shut up and come here to kiss your flat mate." Harry says, closing the door, still asking himself if Louis is his boyfriend now or not. He isn't sure he wants to know the answer, what if he isn't?  
"No, wanna hug you." Louis says, and Harry stops walking. He can feel his heart melting at the combination of Louis' touch and his words. He loves Louis way too much.  
"Where is the sassy Louis you were before leaving the restaurant? It's like when we get back home you're again the sweet Louis ready to cuddles."  
Louis chuckles, if only Harry new cuddles are the last thing Louis thinks about when he's at home. Especially if he's at home with Harry.  
"It's your fault! I've been trying not to hug you the whole evening, now I just have to! You're so nice to hug." Louis says, making Harry smile.  
"Are you a five-year old child again?" Harry asks, smiling. Ha. Sure. Louis stops hugging Harry and stands in front of him, now, looking into his eyes.  
If Harry thinks Louis' childish, Louis' going to change Harry's mind soon.  
Harry puts his hands on Louis' hips, making Louis' hands go straight to his shoulders, and Louis lifts his body up on his tip toes, still looking at Harry.  
He slowly kisses his jawline, and Harry closes his eyes. "So you think I'm a five-year old child." Louid says, leaving several kisses on Harry's jawline and near his mouth. Harry smirks, "Yes, exactly."  
"Mh...too bad, Har." Louis says, smirking when Harry's muscles slighlty tense.  
"I mean, there are so many things I could do to prove you I'm not a child, but I want to take it slow, you know. I won't let you ruin my plans." Louis whispers now, kissing underneath Harry's ear.  
Harry has to do something or else he'll fuck Louis.  
"Is this how you keep your job safe? Remember you're my personal trainer." Harry says, and Louis looks at him. Harry opens his eyes and looks at Louis, smirking.  
"Well, Harry, this is my job. To kiss you. Dream job." Louis kisses Harry's cheeks a couple of times. "What did you say? Rim job?" Harry asks, making Louis smirk. "Well, not exactly, but, like, I'm not going to complain if you want me to shift my job."  
Harry caresses Louis' hips, moving his hands back and forth on them, and brushes his lips over Louis'.  
Harry mutters something, making Louis think he actually said something, but he was just saying his name.  
"Didn't hear you." Louis says. Harry smiles and licks Louis' lower lip, Louis bites Harry's.  
"Weird. I remember there was a time when you said I'd scream too much, and you wanted to know if you should have listened to some music to cover it up." Harry says, and Louis stops kissing the corner of the boy's lips, looking at him.  
"Harry...I was so jealous, I swear, I...I was so mad you were with him, 'cause I wanted to be with you and then...Harry, when I saw him holding your body, and that fucking kiss, his stupid eyes looking at me as if I was the only idiot there...I had to say something." Louis looks down and Harry brushes his fingers over his cheeks. He truly understands how bad Louis had felt, he'd felt the same way when he saw Louis with that friend of his. They just reacted in different ways.  
"I'm actually glad you're not that quiet when it comes to this stuff, but..." Louis stops talking and rests his cheek on Harry's shoulder. Harry holds him closer and rubs his hand on Louis' back, kissing his head.  
"I'm sorry, Harry. I always hurt you. Sorry if I'm an idiot." Louis hugs Harry tight and sighs. Harry's heartbeat is beating way too fast -as always- and the fact Louis can hear it is making him more nervous than he'd expected. After a couple of seconds Louis smiles, though, because he can hear Harry's hearbeat and it's cute his heart is beating so fast. He hopes it's not a bad sign. "It's okay. So you were jealous?" Harry asks, smiling and looking at Louis, and Louis looks up at him, nodding."Now don't flatter yourself, you're not that important, after all." Louis says, trying to act cool and looking down again because he honestly can't say Harry's not important while looking at him.  
Harry chuckles, "No, no, sure. I was jealous too when I saw you with that friend of yours. Honestly, I reacted really bad to that." Harry admits, just because Louis said something about himself.  
Louis' heartbeat speeds up at that, and he looks at Harry.  
"What? What do you mean?"  
Harry sighs and takes Louis' hand in his own, heading to his couch.  
"Nothing...I just...I didn't like it...thought you two were a thing or...stuff like that."  
Both Harry and Louis sit down on the couch, looking at each other.  
"I remember you asked me if I'd fucked him for something like three times." Louis says, trying to make Harry smile, and he succeed.  
"Yeah, uhm...yeah."  
Harry lays his legs on Louis' lap and Louis instantly starts caressing them.  
He needed this.  
Harry looks at Louis, who removes a hand off of Harry's leg but uses it to brush his fingers over Harry's cheekbone.  
He slides them on Harry's lips and then he brushes them on his chin, lowering them again, till he reaches his neck, and gently rubs his thumb on it.  
Harry slighlty smiles at Louis' soft touch, making Louis smile, too.  
"So relaxing..." Harry whispers, closing his eyes, and Louis keeps caressing him.  
"You're so beautiful. So kind. So caring." Louis says.  
'I love you', he thinks right when he finishes saying his sentence, but he carefully shuts his mouth not to say too much.  
Harry smiles more, his cheeks more pink than usual.  
This boy is adorable, and Louis can't stop thinking about it.  
"Thanks, Lou. You too."  
Harry doesn't really know how to reply to Louis' compliments, he hopes Louis doesn't think he's worthless just because Harry doesn't directly say nice things to him. He's not ready to say Louis is kind and nice and adorable out loud.  
Harry's brushing his fingers on Louis' jawline now.  
"Lou...I'm curious, when did you move in here?" Harry asks, with that irresistible voice of his.  
"Three years ago, more or less. Couldn't live at my place anymore."  
Harry analyses Louis' face for a bit.  
"Did something bad happen?"  
Louis stiffens, and Harry senses there's something wrong.  
Louis looks down and shakes his head. He seems a puppy right now. Harry wants to kiss him.  
Instead, he just caresses Louis' shoulder.  
"If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. Hope now there aren't any problems anymore." Harry says, lowering his voice, and Louis looks at him.  
"I was really irresponsible, you know. I just started everything in the wrong way, that's it. I bought this new flat even if it's nothing fancy 'cause I wanted to completely change my life. Plus, around here there are a lot of things. The gym, for example, or the school I teach in." Louis says, a bit uncertain, even if he does want to open up with Harry and let him know he can trust him.  
Harry's hand drops down Louis wrist, and then he takes his hand in his own, squeezing it.  
"You haven't told me what kind of school it is, in which level you teach in."  
Louis smiles lightly, "It's an elementary school, and there are several children per class. They all are adorable, they have the ability to cheer you up and make you forget about your problems and everything that bothers you." Louis says, making Harry smile.  
'You are adorable', Harry thinks, but when Louis gets closer to him and pecks Harry's lips, smiling, Harry thinks he maybe said it out loud.  
"I said it out loud, didn't I?" Harry asks, before pecking Louis' lips.  
Louis chuckles and nods, "Yeah. Thank you, though."  
Harry smiles and holds Louis closer to him by his shoulders.  
He can feel Louis' breath on his lips, it resembles the wine they drank before, but it's not too strong. Harry finds it soothing and relaxing.  
"Lou."  
Louis puts his hand in Harry's hair, caressing it, and Harry closes his eyes and lightly parts his lips when he feels Louis' fingers gently massagging his hair.  
Louis smiles and slowly presses his lips on Harry's, pushing his tongue inside, kissing the boy.  
Harry reacts almost immediately by pushing his tongue in Louis' mouth, starting playing with it, kissing Louis deeply.  
Louis massages Harry's hair more, making him moan slightly.  
Louis smirks, while Harry bites his lower lip.  
"You like it, don't you?" Louis asks in a whisper, while he keeps caressing Harry's hair.  
Harry just nods, his eyes still closed and his lips almost brushing on Louis' ones.  
"Yeah...so much..." he whispers, and Louis leaves a kiss on his jawline.  
Harry looks at Louis, opening his eyes, and Louis licks his own lips -not because he wants to look sexy. He just had to.  
Harry stares at Louis for some seconds, overthinking as he usually does.  
When he's with Louis he overthinks less, at least.  
"Lou...can I ask you something?"  
Louis smiles, "Of course. You're always ready to ask me something, aren't you?"  
Harry smiles lightly and nods.  
Now that Louis thinks about it, though, Harry's not adorable. There are no words to describe Harry.  
"Uhm...this is something I've been asking myself for years and I can't stop thinking about it, so I'd really like it if you said the truth, yeah?" Harry asks, and Louis loves the way he speaks.  
It's so different than how people usually talk with a friend (boyfriend).  
"Yeah, sure, Har. Never doubt the things I tell you, now. You don't have to. I know it's hard, but, you know, just saying."  
Harry nods again, looking at Louis, "So. It's just a simple question." he says, trying to calm down.  
Louis nods, sliding his hands on Harry's hips.  
"Did you use to...at least like me when...when we were dating? I mean, did you...did you like me as a person at least?" Harry asks, and he can't help it but lower his gaze.  
Louis' heartbeat speeds up, feeling how hurt Harry's voice sounds.  
He takes a deep breath and caresses Harry's hips.  
"To be honest, Harry...at the very beginning of our relationship I didn't really care about you. And I feel so bad I wish someone could do the same thing to me. I'm serious. But...after a while...there was something about you that- I don't know, you were -and are- so kind, so...adorable, Harry, that at some point it was impossible for me to pretend I didn't feel anything. Because as much as I forced myself not to think about it, I eventually realized I liked you more than I was supposed to do." Louis says, looking straight into Harry's eyes now that Harry's looking at him again.  
It's hard for him to say that kind of stuff, and let Harry know how he really felt, but this is for Harry. He wants Harry to trust him, so this is just the beginning of what he can do for him.  
Harry's as stiff as a wooden plank.  
He's trying not to get too excited about what Louis told him, for he still is pretty hesitant when it comes to trust Louis.  
They stay for a couple of minutes in silence, staring at each other, Harry's thinking about Louis' statement and Louis' thinking about what else he could do to convince Harry he's telling the truth.  
"Remember my fucked up plan? When I was speaking on the phone knowing you were hearing me." Louis flinches for a second, and Harry notices it. "Started it... 'cause I realized I was actually feeling something for you. Something real, you know. Or else, honestly, I'd have kept fooling you. But I couldn't do it anymore, it was...a torture seeing you...every day...with that lovely smile and dimples and your eyes full of excitement, shit. Couldn't do it anymore." Louis admits, and finally says this after all this time. He admits how he really felt and he's feeling better and worse at the same fucking moment.  
Harry's still trying not to get overwhelmed, his heartbeat still super fast, his posture seems to be frozen.  
So Louis actually cared about him.  
"And what about now?" Harry decides to pretend he doesn't want to smile and jump and kiss Louis, so he's trying to keep it very cool.  
Louis smiles lightly, almost in a smirk, "I don't like you at all, Harry."  
Harry's heartbeat stops for a second.  
"You're too tall for me." Louid says, his smile now wider than before, and Harry now wants to throw some cereals on him.  
Instead, he chuckles, slightly slapping Louis' shoulder.  
"You're definitely the only idiot here." he says, playfully, his mood changed drastically in a positive way.  
"Thank you, Har." Louis says, as if Harry said a nice thing about him.  
Harry chuckles once again, till Louis' words come to his mind again.  
Louis stares at him carefully, curious about what Harry's going to tell -he's dying to hear something about their past from him- but Harry seems to like staying silent.  
So Louis speaks again, "I swear to myself I'm completely serious. Please trust me." Louis says with a pleading voice, and Harry is almost 103% sure Louis actually is serious.  
"Thank you for explaining and sharing with me how you'd really felt." Harry simply says, making it impossible for Louis to find out what's going on in his mind, and heart.  
Louis gets closer to Harry once again and pecks his lips, he can't fucking get enough of Harry's lips. They're so freaking amazing and feel so soft and perfect to kiss.  
Louis can't stop.  
Harry really likes it, though, maybe this is why he's smiling and kissing Louis non-stop.

 

"Lou."  
Louis lightly pulls away and stops kissing Harry's lips, but instead kisses his jawline.  
Harry keeps his eyes closed, enjoying how good Louis' lips feel on his skin, and he honestly can't wait to find out how those lips will make him feel good when used in other parts of his body.  
"I wanted to tell you something. You know, I...I feel guilty about something I did, too." Harry says, with that voice of his that's sending shivers down Louis' spine.  
Louis stops kissing Harry and looks at him, asking himself question after question, asking himself what Harry could have done to feel guilty.  
He starts sweating.  
Yeah, just by that.  
Harry can feel Louis' getting worried about his statement, and quickly talks again.  
"It's something I already told you, don't worry. But I feel...guilty. Don't like it."  
Louis stares at Harry, still sweating, and he's glad the two of them are at the beginning of their -oh yes- relationship, that means -in this case- they still don't remove his clothes when they're together, or else Harry would have felt how much Louis' sweating.  
However, Louis hopes Harry understood they're in a relationship now.  
"Martin...he gave me a...blowjob, right?" Harry says, carefully looking at Louis, who tries not to flinch at Harry's statement.  
He fucking hates Martin.  
That piece of shit, how did he even dare trying to 'seduce' Harry? Louis still hasn't get why Harry had let him, though.  
"Well, I feel guilty about it."  
What?  
Let's try it again...  
What?!  
Louis was so focused on mentally swearing over Martin that he'd totally forgotten about Harry's insecurities.  
Was that it?  
Oh.  
Louis could start flying right now because of how high his level of happiness is.  
"I mean, when he was...doing it...I wasn't feeling guilty at all, 'cause, yeah, you see, I...I'd spent the hole blowjob...thinking about...uhm...y-you? So, I mean, it was- it actually was nice, and...I mean, you could also hear me -kinda- and...yeah, it was...nice." Harry takes a deep breath, now he's sweating too.  
Louis thinks he's way too adorable for his hormones.  
"But...yeah, if I think about it...whenever I think about it...I would always feel that...feeling...that...thing, and- I'm already feeling better now that you know it." Harry sighs.  
Louis smiles, and starts leaving a trail of kisses over Harry's jawline, again.  
"Har, you'd already told me. No worries. I'm actually glad you were thinking about me, you know? Of course...I...am" Louis says, in between the kisses he's leaving on Harry skin.  
Harry has his eyes closed again now, just focusing on Louis' lips.  
There's still a little part of his mind that's keeping overthinking, so he has to let it out.  
It's now or never.  
"I actually let him touch me 'cause -Lou..." Harry almost moans when he feels Louis' lips on his sensitive spot, which is underneath his ear.  
"Keep going, Har...I'm paying attention." Louis says, and, again, that fucking nickname.  
Harry tries not to get too distracted, as much as he'd like to let Louis fuck him in that exact moment.  
But that's another story.  
"I-I was so...disappointed because..because you'd said all those...things about -Lou...- about me...was so mad at ya, just wanted to...just wanted you to be there, replacing Martin." Harry admits, making Louis smirk, who's still kissing Harry's neck in the best way Harry's ever had someone kiss him there -not that he has a lot of experience in this field, fortunately.  
Louis' making it hard for Harry to think and speak properly.  
Harry's hands clench around Louis' shoulders when Louis gives him a little hickey, he's trying not to moan.  
Louis smirks even more, loving how much he's able to affect Harry, but this time he's truly glad because he wants him to feel good and relaxed, and he wants Harry to trust him.  
The sexual tension between them needs at least a few kisses here and there, though.  
"I'm really glad you were thinking about me. Don't feel guilty, Har. You don't have to." Louis whispers on Harry's neck, kissing the hickey he just gave to his -fuck, yes- boyfriend.  
No, but seriously, is Harry aware of the fact Louis is in a relationship with him?  
Harry sighs, his dick is starting to get almost painful.  
"Alright, but then...if you don't want me to feel guilty..." Harry looks at Louis, without clenching his hands around Louis' shoulder anymore, "Then promise me you'll try to stop feeling guilty, too. You don't have to anymore, yeah? I'm testing you, let your boyfriend do the judging part, alright?" Harry asks, feeling less nervous than before for his guilty thing, but feeling even more nervous because this is the first time he refers to Louis as his boyfriend, and he hopes he didn't misunderstood Louis' words.  
Louis smiles, kissing Harry's nose.  
Yeah, Harry's nose is tempting, too.  
"Alright, I'll let my boyfriend -I mean, my flat mate- be my judge, too." Louis says, still smiling, and Harry can't help it but smile, too.  
He's starting to trust Louis, and he hopes with everything he's got that he won't regret it.  
He does hopes so.


	45. October 18th, 2016

It's break time for Harry, so he can finally let his mind relax and go eat something.  
But then he remembers he has to study for university -because even if he works in an office, he's attending a university-, and everything gets worse when someone knocks at his door.  
That means more work to do, and less break time, but more stress for sure.  
"Come in." he says, running his hands over his face, sighing.  
"Mr. Styles, I hope you didn't forget about our meeting, he seems to be surprised to see me."  
When Harry hears the voice, though, he removes his hands off his face and looks up, smiling when he sees his 'personal trainer'.  
"Lou?"  
Louis smiles and nods, "Apparently, it's me."  
He heads to Harry's desk and teasingly bends down on it, pecking Harry's lips.  
Harry couldn't be happier.  
"What a nice surprise." Harry says, and Louis walks around the desk until he reaches Harry, grabs him from his tie and kisses him properly.  
The two of them close his eyes and part their lips, making their tongues meet.  
As much as it sounds cheeky, their kiss is the opposite thing.  
Harry absolutely loves the fact Louis is holding him from his tie. It's extremely hot and his neck agrees, despite it should feel uncomfortable.  
He puts his hands on Louis' cheeks and cups them, while they keep snogging.  
There's no best feeling.  
Louis smiles and pulls away after a minute, pecking Harry's lips, "Bought you some food. This morning you told me you forgot your money, and I don't want you to faint again." Louis says, letting go of Harry's tie, and Harry smiles at him.  
"That was nice of you, thanks. Are you trying to get something out of this?" Harry asks jokingly, and Louis takes out of his bag what's supposed to be Harry's lunch and puts it on the desk.  
"Shut up and eat." Louis says, taking out a fork and a towel, too.  
Harry chuckles at Louis, and looks at him.  
Nobody has ever brought him some food at work.  
"Here you are. Hope it's enough. Wanted to get here as soon as possible. But, oh, I have an apple too. If you want, I can leave. Maybe you feel uncomfortable eating with me staring at you like a pshyco." Louis says, feeling nervous. He's never done something like that before and he doesn't know if he's doing it right.  
It involves Harry, so it has to be on point.  
Harry shakes his head no and starts eating his salad, which already tastes amazing. He loves salad and Louis just brought him one.  
"That's my favourite, so I wanted you to try it." Louis says, taking a seat near Harry.  
"Admit it. You did hope I wouldn't have eaten it so that you could have it"  
Louis smiles and nods, "Alright, yeah, that was my plan, but it miserably failed."  
Harry keeps eating while looking at Louis with a little, fond smile.  
All those years thinking about Louis were worth it, if this is what he gets.  
"You okay, Har? You seemed pretty stressed out when I came in here."  
Harry swallows and sighs.  
"I actually was, but now it's getting better. Thanks, Lou."  
Harry takes another forkful and keeps eating.  
When Harry has almost finished it, though, he thinks about something, and he smirks.  
"Lou? I'm tired. Feed me, please?" Harry asks, his voice sounding way too innocent for Louis.  
In fact, Louis tries not to think about all the things he could feed Harry with, and gets closer to him.  
"Sure."  
Louis takes a forkful of the salad and leads it to Harry's mouth.  
Harry opens his mouth while looking at Louis, then he closes it, testing Louis' self-control.  
Louis tries not to react to Harry's sex-appeal and keeps feeding him.  
"Alright, last one." Louis says after a couple of seconds.  
Harry opens his mouth again and eats the last forkful.  
Louis smiles at him, "Good boy."  
Harry almost chokes, but he decides to enjoy this instead.  
"Thanks, daddy." Harry whispers, and Louis ignores how his dick twitches in his pants.  
They never really discussed it, but it's clear they both have something very similar to a daddy kink, at least for the pet names.  
"Stop it. I have to control myself and you're making it hard."  
Harry smirks, "I know it makes you hard...daddy."  
He missed calling Louis that. He loves it that by calling Louis that, he shivers internally.  
He's getting more comfortable, to be honest, now that he's been seeing Louis for a while.  
"You really want to ruin my plans, don't you? Thought you were a good boy." Louis says, his voice more dominant-like, while Harry's voice sounds more 'innocent'.  
Louis leans over Harry more and leaves a kiss underneath Harry's ear.  
"Uhm...I am." Harry says, closing his eyes.  
"You sure? I mean..." Louis leaves a couple of kisses over Harry's neck, "I thought you were, but from what you've just said, it doesn't seem like you are."  
Louis is standing again in front of Harry, who opens his eyes and looks up at Louis.  
"Uhm...sorry, I promise I'll be a good boy next time."  
Louis can't believe they're actually saying these things, Harry neither.  
"Fine."  
Before Louis can say something else, Harry speaks again.  
"I really liked it, Lou." he says, taking one of Louis' legs in between his hands.  
Louis puts a hand on Harry's hair and gently caresses it, making Harry closes his eyes again.  
"What did you like, Har?"  
Harry smiles, enjoying Louis' touch.  
"You, and the salad. I'm so lucky to have a personal trainer so personal."  
Louis smiles, too, "It's my job, you know."  
Louis slides his hand on Harry's cheek, making Harry open his eyes and look up at him again.  
"Don't you have work today?" he curiously asks.  
Louis shakes his head no, "Not today. Day off."  
"Oh. Alright."  
Louis kisses Harry's cheeks and smiles at him.  
He's so cute.  
"When you'll be done here, I can pick you up, if you want to. Then we can go somewhere, or -I don't know- if you're tired we can just stay at my place, yeah?"  
Harry smiles at Louis, and nods.  
"Yes, but I still have three or four hours here, so..."  
Louis traces Harry's ear with his thumb, "Don't care, I'll come back in time."  
And that's it, Harry's in love.  
And his feelings seem to increase every day.

 

"Hey, Harry." Louis sweetly greets his -yes, fuck- boyfriend right after Harry sits in the passenger seat.  
He looks at Louis and smiles, leaning over his body to kiss his cheek.  
"Hi, Lou." Harry says, before straightening up on his seat, closing his eyes.  
Louis turns the engine on to go to their house -that sounds amazing. 'Their house'.  
Well, after all, they live in the same one.  
He looks at Harry for a moment and then back at the road.  
"You okay, Har?"  
Harry mutters something like "Yeah, sure, just tired." and his voice is hotter than usual, which Louis doesn't miss.  
"Gonna take care of you." Louis says, putting his hand on Harry's knee and moving it occasionally back and forth.  
Harry sighs in relief and smiles, thinking about how Louis is actually proving him that he's a different person now, and how comfortable they already are with each other even if it's not even a month they're together. Maybe it's because they used to be?  
"Thanks, Lou, you're my prince." Harry says, jokingly, and Louis smirks.  
"Yeah, you're in fact the princess, remember?"  
And Harry maybe slightly blushes, and of course remembers when Louis used to call him that, especially on kik.  
That sounds so fucked up.  
At least Harry's not the only one so attached to that period of his life, when he first started texting Louis.  
As much as it's not very nice thinking about how Louis was, after all that was one of the best period of Harry's life -till Louis broke his heart, that's it.  
But know, again, he's doing great.  
Harry's not 16 anymore, and he knows when someone takes a relationship seriously or not.  
Louis really seems to take it seriously.  
Minutes later, they arrive home, and Harry insists on going to his place, since the previous day they spent the evening at Louis'.  
"Alright, Har, but pay attention, I think you're going to fall off to the ground, this time without even tripping on your own feet." Louis says, while Harry's heading to the couch. They just entered Harry's flat.  
"Yeah, Lou, yeah, don't...don't worry."  
Harry lazily lays on the couch, even if he's still dressed for work, and closes his eyes for a moment. "Uhg."  
Louis smiles at the sight. Even if Harry's so tall, so hot, and fortunately pretty confident, with his suit on he's still Louis' baby, who's all curled up in a ball, with his eyes closed.  
Louis loves him with all of his heart, and body, and mind, and soul.  
Louis kneels down near Harry and starts caressing one of his hip -the only one which isn't touching the couch.  
Harry smiles and opens his eyes, looking at Louis.  
And, well, Louis almost gets a heart attack because he didn't expect Harry's absolutely amazing eyes to look at him, he thought Harry wanted to sleep, actually, even if he's still wearing his suit.  
"Lou." Harry whispers, and Louis gets closer to him.  
"Harry. You need something?" Louis asks lowering his voice and leaving a kiss on Harry's forehead.  
Harry loves Louis so much.  
"Lou, I'm just...I'm so tired, I don't get...I don't get why my dad wants me to work in that office." Harry sighs, and Louis caresses his shoulder, "I mean, I'm studying for university and he wants me to go there. I'm not ready. And I hate this sad and grey stupid suit. Want my clothes back." Harry says almost in a whisper, and Louis wishes he could do something for him.  
"Har, babe."  
Harry's hearbeat speeds up so freaking fast for a couple of seconds he has to take a deep breath.  
The way Louis called him suddenly made his day.  
Oh, so this is why Harry's smiling with his dimples popping out.  
Louis smiles too, seeing his reaction, and kisses one of his dimples.  
"First of all, you're so lovely you make my heart scream. Uh, cheeky." Louis says, and both of them chuckle.  
"I don't mind cheeky if...I mean, if it's something you tell me." Harry says, taking the hand Louis' not using to caress him in his own, squeezing it.  
Louis smiles again and tries to recollect in his mind what he was going to say to Harry.  
"Second of all, Harry, I think it's normal you feel like that. This is a very important period in your life, you're studying for your carreer and who you want to be in your future, so it takes time and sacrifices, yeah? Your father probably wants you to take another job, this is why he's making you work there. Did you talk about this with him?"  
Harry sighs, but feels slightly better.  
Louis' voice relaxes him, not only makes him hard.  
"Yeah, actually, don't want to talk about it."  
Louis nods and slides his fingers on Harry's jawline.  
"Lou, don't want you to hurt your knees, please, sit down." Harry says, his eyes seems to be sorry about Louis' legs position, too.  
"Want you to be okay, first of all. Don't care about the rest." Louis says, still looking into Harry's eyes.  
They're so illegally gorgeous.  
Harry slightly smiles and squeezes Louis' hand again.  
"Thanks, Lou, but, seriously-"  
"Shut up. Now, you look like you're going to pass out even if your eyes still manage to be open. They're killing me. Shit, so gorgeous. Wasn't supposed to say that. Sorry."  
Harry chuckles, closing his eyes now that Louis reminded him how much he's tired.  
He was so focused on Louis' amazing eyes that he couldn't break the eye contact, nor could he think about how tired he actually is.  
"Don't want to sound as I'm going to sound. I swear it's not what you think. I promise, really. But, tell me if you really are tired. Super tired. If you can't stand up anymore because now it's too late and the couch kidnapped you, then -if you want, of course- I can...I mean, just if it's okay, I can help you...with, I mean, yeah, with your clothes? But it's okay if you don't want to, of course it is, I totally-"  
Louis stops talking when he hears Harry's adorable laugh.  
Louis loves his laugh.  
Shit, he loves Harry.  
"What? Am I that ridiculous? Is this why you're laughing at me?" Louis asks, trying not to think about his speeded up heartbeat.  
Harry's looking at him now, "You're so cute, Lou." he says, with a voice so irresistible Louis has to stop himself from kissing all over Harry, before transforming Harry's words in informations.  
Yeah, sometimes his mind just blanks out.  
Louis doesn't know what to say.  
"Actually, you'd do me a favour by taking off my clothes. I don't think I'll get up from here till tomorrow morning." Harry says, and he honestly can't wait for Louis to see his body.  
He doesn't want Louis to do something sexual to him, he just wants to tease him a little bit.  
"Oh, uhm, you sure?" Louis' already getting excited.  
Harry nods, "Yeah, you're my personal trainer, after all. You should tell me if there's something wrong, right?" Harry asks, smirking, and Louis feels less nervous now, smirking too.  
"Yeah, you're right. Gonna check." Louis can't wait to see Harry's body. He just wants to look at it for a moment, he's sure he'll notice something different from the last time he saw it.  
He stands up and looks at Harry, who now seems not to be tired anymore, in fact he's staring at Louis, waiting for him to do something.  
"Alright, so, if you're sure..." Louis says, removing Harry's shoes and his socks.  
"Yes, Lou. Thank you. I would have slept like that if it wasn't for you." Harry says, slightly lifting his body from the couch, so that Louis can remove his jacket.  
"Glad I'm doing something good for you, then." Louis puts the jacket on a seat not too distant from them.  
He returns in front of Harry and looks into his eyes. Harry's looking at him lovingly, but also with a hint of something else.  
What is he thinking about?  
Harry slides the shirt from his trousers out and looks at Louis innocently.  
Louis' not going to survive after this.  
"Don't you want to undress me, daddy?"  
Louis smirks and leans over Harry, unbottoning his shirt, "Yeah, sure, Har."  
He looks at Harry's belly button while unbottoning the shirt, and almost gasps at the tattoos that he's seeing. The more he gets closer to Harry's neck, the more tattoos he finds.  
Now Harry's shirt is completely unbottoned, and Louis can finally see how beautiful Harry's torso and abs are, without anything on it to cover them up.  
He doesn't know where to look at first.  
There are so many tattoos on his skin, and he already likes them. They're very unusual, something that just Harry could have decided to have on his own skin, and he can't wait to discover their meanings.  
Also, Harry's body made Louis' mouth dry. That V line of his is making Louis go crazy, especially because he can almost see the very beginning of Harry's dick, since both boxers and trousers are very low on Harry's waist, maybe because Harry lifted his body up on the couch.  
In the meanwhile, Harry's truly enjoying Louis' reaction. He didn't expect a reaction so worth it. Louis' face is completely dazed, his eyes are carefully looking at every part of Harry's upper body with such a lust and desire Harry'd never think someone could feel toward him.  
Harry's as excited as Louis is about this. He loves the way Louis' looking at him, so he stays silent until Louis looks at his face again.  
"Harry, you're- I mean, I knew you were gorgeous but that goes past my imagination." Louis says, he seems almost breathless.  
Harry smiles, delighted by Louis' statement.  
"So you like them?" Harry asks, referring to his tattoos.  
Louis gets closer to Harry's face and bends over more so that their mouths are almost touching.  
"Harry, I like you." Louis whispers, emphatising the 'you', and Harry smiles wider.  
Louis closes his eyes and pecks Harry's lips, and the following second he pushes his tongue in Harry's mouth, who mimics him almost immediately.  
Harry's hands go quickly on Louis' hips, while Louis' ones are on the couch, supporting his weight over Harry's body.  
They pull away before things get too heated, but they both smile, opening their eyes and looking at each other.  
They're so in love, and they think the feeling is not mutual.  
Idiots in love, that's what they are.  
"But, yes, I like your tattoos, too. Will you tell me their meanings, one day? When and why did you get them?"  
Harry keeps smiling, no one has ever asked him so like Louis did. Everyone would just go for the same, annoying questions, sometimes not even caring about Harry's privacy.  
Louis instead almost asked Harry permission to know about his tattoos.  
These little things are making Harry think about the fact Louis' truly changed, and he couldn't be happier, because he loves Louis and -yes- he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.  
"Of course. I'll tell you everything about them. They're part of my life, too."  
Louis pecks Harry's lips and then straightens up.  
"Do you want me to...keep going? Is it okay for you?" Louis asks, truly concerned now. He wants to make sure Harry wants him to undress him, even if it seems something which isn't really that important. Well, it involves Harry, so Louis thinks it's crucial.  
Harry nods, almost melting at how much sweet Louis is, glad that he can notice he's serious, from his voice and expression.  
Sometimes he can feel Louis' heartbeat, which speeds up depending on the things Louis or Harry would say.  
That shows Louis cares, probably.  
"Hold on." Harry lifts himself up and completely removes his shirt off, and Louis doesn't know what to do.  
What is he supposed to do with this sex god -aka his, yes, hard to believe, boyfriend- in front of him?  
He can't touch him.  
He can't fuck him.  
He has to take it slow.  
So now what?  
He's going to kiss him until they fall asleep, that's it.  
Harry hands Louis his shirt, looking more lovely than usual, and Louis puts the shirt at the end of the couch.  
"I just want to say something very quickly. There aren't words to describe you. That's it." Louis slowly removes Harry's belt, while Harry's smiling like crazy for Louis' compliment, and Louis is trying not to look at Harry's dick.  
Because yes, it is at least slighlty hard, and, no, Louis wasn't expecting it to be like that.It surely is different now. Yes, it is.  
For now he's focusing on the belt, though. Yeah, sure. The texture of it, the holes he can find in it.  
He has to stop thinking, that's it.  
But then Harry says something, so Louis looks up at his face.  
Harry will be the death of him.  
"Uhm, what?"  
"I said, thank you for what you told me. You're being very nice, hope it's not just because of my butthole special access." Harry says, and Louis can say he's kidding.  
"That's the least I can do for you, really Harry. I wish I could prove you how much I mean the things I tell you." Louis removes Harry's belt, tossing it on the floor, and Harry chuckles, or else he'd start begging for Louis to touch him.  
"You're doing great. Let's see how far you get, yeah?"  
Louis chuckles, too, because Harry has no idea he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.  
"Yeah, sure. Uhm, can I remove your trousers, too? Just if you're comfortable."  
Harry nods, licking his lips, and Louis takes a deep breath.  
Why is he acting as a teenager who's never seen a dick/pussy in real life before? Louis clearly isn't a teenager anymore.  
Harry affects his feelings way too much.  
Louis takes Harry's trousers off, slowly sliding them on his quads, calves and ankles, until he puts them at the end of the couch, near the shirt.  
Louis forces himself not to look at Harry's body again, because he already saw Harry's semi and he doesn't want Harry to think Louis just cares about his body. So he won't look at it again.  
No, he won't.  
"This okay? You want me to take you some new clothes?"  
Harry smiles, "Uhm, just a blanket, maybe? Or, if you want, you could actually do something else for me..."  
Louis caresses Harry's cheek, "Tell me, whatever it is."  
Harry's eyes almost close against his willingness.  
Now that Louis' done with his clothes, he can let his eyes rest, he doesn't have to look at Louis' amazing reactions anymore.  
"Mh, actually, no, I'm too heavy." Harry says, trying to take back what he said.  
"You're right, I should probably bring you to your room. Come here." Louis puts his hands underneath Harry's back, but when he almost lifts him up, Harry quickly sits down and looks at Louis.  
"Do you want to break your spine?"  
Louis frowns in confusion, "I just wanted you to sleep well."  
Harry sighs, "Lou."  
Louis sighs, too, "See? You're too tall for me."  
Harry chuckles and pecks Louis' lips.  
"I can walk, obviously. As long as you won't try to break your body again by trying to carry mine."  
Harry could never ask for somebody as perfect as how Louis is now.  
"Alright, but I'll come with you."  
"Of course, Lou."  
They eventually make it to Harry's bedroom. Harry tried to trip on his feet, but Louis didn't let him, and now Harry' on his bed, laying, trying not to close his eyes.  
"Lou?"  
Louis sits in front of him, for the bed is a size larger than usual.  
"Thanks for everything you did for me."  
Louis smiles, and caresses Harry's cheek.  
"Told you I would have taken care of you."  
Harry kisses Louis' mouth, making Louis' heart jump.  
"You can sleep in here, if you want to. Don't want you to go away, especially not now."  
They've never shared a bed before, or anything else during the night, but they've always wanted to, not really because of sex.  
"I don't know, Har. Don't think it's a good idea, tomorrow we have work and I still have to eat."  
Harry remembers he didn't even have his dinner for how much tired he is.  
"I'd really like to, but things will end up...uhm..."  
Yeah, they both know how things would end up.  
"As you prefer, Lou. Just don't want you to think you have to go away...because..." Harry yawns, "I'm almost sleeping."  
"Don't worry, I'm just going to my place now, yeah?"  
Harry nods, "Even if I think it wasn't nice of me inviting you here and fall asleep almost immediately while you're watching."  
Harry thinks about Twilight for a moment, and it's not healthy.  
"Har, stop it. I'm here for you, whatever you do, whatever you need. Now sleep or else you won't be able to wake up tomorrow, yeah?"  
Harry nods, his eyes closed.  
"You sure you don't want anything to eat?" Louis asks again.  
"No, I don't really care aboit it, now. I'll eat tomorrow. Promise."  
Louis leans over him and pecks his lips, smiling, "Night, sweetheart." Louis whispers, and Harry opens his eyes, smiling at Louis with his dimples out.  
'Sweetheart'.  
"Night, Lou. See you tomorrow."  
Louis smiles and pecks Harry's lips again, nodding.  
"See you tomorrow."  
So Louis leaves, and Harry falls asleep with one of the most beautiful smiles he's ever had, while all the moments he spent that day with Louis flash in his mind.  
He can trust him, can't he?


	46. Chapter 46

'Yeah, baby, just like that. So good, Har, so, so good. Such a good boy.' Harry imagines Louis saying while in his mind Harry's sucking Louis' dick.  
Harry can't help but moan slightly.  
He imagines how Louis would praise him and grasp tightly on his hair, telling him how good he is, how good his mouth feels.  
Harry's trying not to moan too loudly right now, but he's finding it difficult since he's thinking about the dirtiest things Louis could say to him, even because he's actually touching himself, stroking his hand up and down his hard-on.  
'You love my cock in your mouth, don't you? Having that lovely mouth of yours all stretched for me -oh, fuck- so good, Har, shit.'  
"Lou..." Harry can't help but moan, moving the hand wrapped around his dick faster.  
He'd rather have his fingers inside him, but he was in a rush when he came back home from work, and absolutely had to touch himself as soon as possible.  
He accidentally spent the whole day thinking about Louis -and all the things he could do to him- so he just wants to come and relieve the pain he had felt during the day.  
Despite his intentions, though, Harry keeps moaning louder and louder, without even realizing someone is knocking at his door, without thinking about the fact the whole floor is hearing him, for the walls are the opposite of thick.  
Speaking of thick, Harry thinks about Louis' dick in his mouth, then inside him, then brushing over his own, and he lets out a frustrated sound.  
He wants Louis so bad.  
He needs Louis.  
He needs Louis right now to do something to him, to touch him, to watch him, really, anything, but he wants Louis.  
"Uhg, L-lou." Harry moans louder, and, really, he's going to come, but then he hears two knocks at the door, and he stiffens.  
He listens closely and stops what he was doing, trying to figure out if he imagined the knocks at the door or not.  
A few seconds pass, and when he doesn't hear anything he starts stroking his dick again, thinking about Louis looking down at him and moaning his name, while trying to keep his eyes open-  
Harry hears two fucking knocks at the door.  
Again.  
He whines and then takes a deep breath, looking at his dick.  
He was going to come in five seconds and now he has to stand up and go see who the hell is at the door?  
He takes another deep breath and stands up, his legs shaking slightly.  
When he's in front of the door he can see that on the other side there's Louis waiting for him, and -fuck- he's so beautiful and so hot, Harry wishes he could let him in his flat and let him do whatever Louis wants to him.  
Because he needs Louis, especially in this exact moment.  
He doesn't care he cheated on him. That happened in the past. He wants Louis.  
"Uhm...L-lou?"  
Louis smirks, hearing Harry's voice, "Har, you alive?"  
Harry swallows a couple of times and clears his throat, "Yeah, uhm, c-can you wait for a couple of minutes?" Harry asks, trying not to touch his dick, which is basically screaming for Harry to do so.  
Louis' smirk widens, "Sure, tell me if you need something, yeah?"  
He'd really like to help Harry with something right now.  
"T-thanks, Lou, don't need...anything, thanks."  
"As you prefer, Har."  
Harry's going to come, and the way Louis said his name is making the process quicker.  
He can't go back to his couch, he just can't, because he's too hard, and he can't wait, he really can't.  
So he starts stroking his dick again with his hand while leaning on the wall beside him and closing his eyes, his arm muscles are internally burning, for it's been a while since Harry started jerking himself off.  
Harry imagines Louis sucking him off this time, and he moans louder than the last time, since he's finally touching himself -again.  
He imagines Louis pulling away and licking him from the tip of his cock to the base, the way Louis would look at him and take his cock back in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks in the sexiest way possible, sucking on him and fluttering his eyes shut while holding Harry by his hips. He also imagines Louis while fucking his mouth using his fingers, his dick, or just his tongue, and he needs Louis right now.  
'You're my good boy, you know that, baby?' Louis could whisper in Harry's ear, pushing his three fingers in Harry's mouth and quickly thrusting them- "Lou." Harry moans, squeezing his eyes shut while reaching his orgasm and coming all over himself, breathing heavily, still thinking about Louis.  
He strokes himself a couple of extra times but stops almost immediately, or else he'll get hard again.  
He opens his eyes, his sight blurred for a second, and smiles, thinking about how Louis would kiss him, and gently caress his hair.  
He really wants to be with Louis, he can't wait to see him.  
For this reason, he heads to the bathroom before he falls down on the floor and starts sleeping, and cleans himself up.  
He puts some clothes on, making sure that with the shirt he has on his chest is at least slightly exposed, and heads to his door an opens it, ready to go to Louis'.  
But then he sees Louis smirking at him, leaning on the wall beside his door, and Harry blushes like crazy.  
Has Louis been here the whole time?  
Oh.  
Damn.  
"Hey, Har." Louis says, getting closer to Harry, and, well, Harry just stares at him, trying to figure out if Louis' looking at him in the way he's doing it because he heard him, or just because he's sassy -and, yes, the only one able to be a proper dominant in their relationship.  
Just this thought makes Harry crave for Louis more.  
"Uhm, Lou...hi?"  
Seriously, Louis is looking at Harry in a different way, and Harry fucking wants him now.  
"Walk in."  
Louis is making Harry walk back in his house -since he didn't close the door- and this is just making Harry want Louis more and more and more, but at the same time is making Harry smile, because Louis' voice now is a mix of something hot and amused at the same time.  
They both enter the flat, and Harry closes the door, while Louis lifts himself up on his tip toes and kisses Harry's jawline, positioning his hands on Harry's shoulders.  
"Was waiting for you." Louis says, sending shivers all over Harry's body.  
"Uhm, sorry for that." Harry says, looking awkwardly at Louis, feeling his cheeks blushing too much.  
Did Louis hear him moaning?  
Damn, he was too near the door, and he knew it, but Harry was so eager to come he didn't think about it.  
"Don't worry. I enjoyed it." Louis says, smirking, and Harry blushes even more.  
Is he serious?  
Louis chuckles at Harry's face, and puts his hands on Harry's hips, kissing his shoulder.  
Harry stiffens immediately.  
Louis smiles now, looking up at Harry, as if to reassure him, and Harry actually relaxes seeing Louis smiling.  
"Har."  
Harry shivers internally at the nickname.  
"Give me a kiss." Louis says, lifting on his tip toes again and curling his lips as if he's going to kiss him.  
Harry smiles now, looking at Louis.  
He thinks Louis is illegal.  
Harry licks his lips and pecks Louis' ones, making him smile, too.  
"You're cute when you're embarassed." Louis says, making Harry sweat way too much.  
"I'm not."  
Louis chuckles and pulls away, taking Harry's hand in his own.  
Harry takes a deep breath.  
He doesn't know what to say, he's just trying to calm down.  
"What- I mean, uhm-"  
Louis heads to Harry's living room, because he wants to spend the evening snogging Harry, who's too nervous to realize they shouldn't go to the living room, because-  
"Har, I think you forgot something in here."  
Harry adruptly remembers he left his boxers and trousers there, and, okay, this couldn't get more awkward.  
"Alright. This is awkward." Harry takes his clothes off to the floor, and Louis can't help it but look at Harry's butt when he bends down.  
He just can't help it.  
Harry straightens up and turns to look at Louis, his heart speeding up once again when he sees Louis staring at him. For fuck's sake, why does he always react as a teenager everytime he's with Louis?  
"I-I'm just- gonna, uhm, hold on." Harry heads to his door and tosses his clothes on the bed, then he heads back to the living room, where Louis is looking at him, amused.  
Harry raises an eyebrow, "What?"  
Louis smirks and gets closer to him.  
"You're funny." Louis says, putting his hands on Harry's hips.  
Harry moves awkwardly closer to him, crossing his arms behind Louis' neck.  
"I'm not. And this isn't funny."  
Louis' smirk widens, "It absolutely is."  
Harry challenging looks at him, trying not to lean over him and kiss him.  
"And you especially aren't funny at all." Harry says, making Louis smile while he lifts himself up on his tip toes.  
Harry tries not to smile, but fails, and Louis notices it, smiling more.  
"Thanks, I know." Louis says, trying to reach for Harry's lips, but Harry lifs his chin up, smiling, so that Louis can't kiss him.  
Louis chuckles and kisses Harry's jawline instead, "You idiot."  
"Thanks, I know." Harry says, smiling, and Louis kisses his chin, still trying to kiss his lips.  
"Your imagination sucks so you have to copy what I say?" Louis asks, squeezing Harry's hips and lifting himself up more.  
Harry's still smiling, "Exactly. You're so smart, mh." he says, faking a moan that's supposed to sound funny, but that turns Louis on slightly.  
This is why Louis jokingly bites Harry's jawline.  
"I know, Har, I know." he says while kissing his chin, and Harry's trying hard not to let Louis kiss his lips.  
"Go away." Harry says, smiling and looking down at Louis.  
"No, want to kiss you. Let me kiss you." Louis says, curling his lips again as if he's going to kiss the boy, and Harry really tries not to lean over him.  
"Nope. You think I'm funny? Then you just want to have fun with me. Go away." Harry says, looking at Louis with a fond smile which Louis also has on his lips.  
"But I want to kiss you." Louis says, trying again to kiss Harry's lips.  
Harry lifts himself up on his tip toes, too, and Louis parts his lips in surprise.  
"That's not fair!" Louis exclaims, making Harry laugh.  
"Don't care. You're too short for me." Harry says, without resting his weight on his tip toes anymore, and Louis puts his hands on Harry's shoulders, trying to lift himself up more.  
"And you're too tall for me!" Louis exclaims again, and Harry can't stop smiling at him.  
 "But I'm a nice flat mate, right? I mean, look at me. All clumsy and all." Harry says, putting his hands on Louis' waist.  
He loves holding Louis like that and being able to squeeze his lovely little body in his hands.  
"Yeah, but I need something to lift me up." Louis says, kissing Harry's chin again.  
"Actually, I have the solution. Where do you want me to put it? 'Cause I dont think it'd be nice to have it underneath your feet. Especially not for me." Harry says, smirking now, and Louis smirks, too.  
"You're not the one who has to do so. That's me, but don't worry, I won't put it underneath your feet."  
Harry looks challenging at Louis, "So you're the one allowed? What if I want to?"  
Louis starts kissing his neck slowly, ignoring Harry, who relaxes his grip on Louis' hips, making the man smile.  
"You're not allowed, Har. I'm sorry." Louis says, and Harry closes his eyes, slightly tilting his neck to the side.  
"Yeah, we'll see if I'm not allowed."  
Louis smirks and chuckles at the same time, "We'll see. But now let me kiss your lips, yeah?"  
Louis sucks the skin on Harry's neck in his mouth extremely hard, making Harry squeeze his eyes and let out an almost inaudible moan from the back of his throat.  
Louis bites his skin and smirks at Harry's reaction.  
"You don't want me to kiss you on the mouth, so I'll have to change my plans, yeah?"  
Harry opens his eyes and looks at him, and in this moment he wants to drop on his knees and take Louis' jeans and boxers off and suck his dick in his mouth, and bite him, and make him moan, and-  
"Stop looking at me as if you want me to fuck you, please." Louis says, serious now, making Harry blush.  
"Stop killing my hormones, please." Harry says, and Louis rests his weight on his toes, smirking at Harry.  
"Ops?"  
Harry smiles and leans over Louis, cupping his cheeks with his hands and brushing his lips on Louis' ones.  
"Kiss me." Harry whispers, almost touching Louis' lips, and Louis has to think about his mental health for a moment.  
Harry has an effect too overwhelming onLouis.  
"Nope. Wanted to kiss you and you refused me. It was really rude." Louis says, but he doesn't move, his lips occasionally brush over Harry's own.  
"Kiss me." Harry whispers again, sending chills all over Louis' body.  
"Don't want to kiss you."  
"But you did."  
"But now I don't."  
"Yes, you want. Kiss me."  
Louis puts his hands on Harry's hips, "Go away." he whispers, smiling, and Harry chuckles.  
"You're holding me." Harry says, pecking Louis' lips.  
"Yes, but it is not a rilevant fact." Louis pecks Harry's lips now.  
"I think it is." Harry says.  
"I think it isn't." Louis says back.  
"Shut up and kiss me." Harry whispers, and Louis cat-licks the angle of Harry's mouth.  
"What you doing? I'm the only kitten, here." Harry says, making Louis smirk.  
"You're right." Louis says, and pecks Harry's lips.  
"I want a real kiss." Harry says, and Louis snorts.  
"I don't kiss at the first date, sorry." Louis says, making Harry chuckle.  
"This isn't our first date. I'm just using you." Harry says, and Louis pecks his lips.  
"I think this is the wrong flat, then. Maybe you're not my favourite flat mate." Louis says, and Harry kisses his nose.  
"Who's your favourite flat mate?" Harry asks.  
"He's called Harry. He's really nice, you know?"  
"Oh, wow. Nice name, too." Harry says, and he kisses Louis, pushing his tongue inside Louis' mouth.  
Louis smiles and kisses Harry, too, sliding his hands up, going straight in between his hair, interlocking his fingers in it.  
Harry gets even closer to Louis, smiling, because they both know how much Harry loves it when Louis touches his hair.  
Harry caresses Louis' cheeks with his thumbs and Louis slightly lifts himself up on his tip toes.  
They pull away after a while, still smiling, and Louis looks at Harry.  
"Maybe you're Harry, then." he says, and Harry nods.  
"That's me. So I'm your favourite, eh?"  
Louis snorts again, and Harry slaps his chest.  
"What was that for?" Louis asks, touching his chest as if it's hurting, and Harry raises his eyebrows.  
"Who knows?"  
Louis shakes his head and tries not too focus too much on the fact he wants to tell Harry he loves him.  
They have time.  
Hopefully.

 

\- the following day -

Louis is truly happy.  
He's so happy he doesn't even let Jacob ruin his mood. Jacob, who decided to visit him in the morning just to test his control -Louis thinks- even though they have to go to the school they work in.  
But it's okay. Louis won't let him affect his vibe.  
So Louis sits on the couch, and smiles thinking about Harry.  
He's so happy.  
"Louis, now tell me, what happened? Are you okay?" Jacob asks Louis, looking concerned and suspicious at the same time while sitting on the couch.  
Louis nods and slightly smiles, thinking about Harry, "Of course I'm okay."  
Jacob raises his eyebrows, "What? You're smiling at me? Wait. Did you fuck Harry?"  
Louis shakes his head no, "Not at all. I just- I mean, I'm really glad he's trying to trust me and everything. He's so, so nice."  
"But you spent the whole day with him, yeah?"  
"Yeah. Actually, I went to his place just during the evening. What about you?" Louis asks, and Jacob looks at him as if he has three heads instead of one. Louis' never nice with him, he's not used to it.  
"What? Why you so kind with me? I think I have to call the doctor."  
Louis chuckles and shakes his head no, "I'm just really happy, that's it. Tell me something about you."  
Jacob suspiciously looks at him, "You're scaring me, you know that right?"  
"Right. I mean, on one hand I'm happy, but on the other hand I'm worried. Hope I won't fuck up again, I have this fucking thought in my mind that won't leave me alone."  
Jacob smirks, "Ow, no, mate, if something you're just gonna fuck him up to the-."  
If look could kill, Jacob would be dead by now.  
The way Louis' looking at him, though, is making Jacob laugh.  
"What?"  
Louis takes a deep breath, "Don't you even dare thinking about a sexual joke which involves Harry. Am I clear?"  
Jacob laughes again, he actually has to hold his stomach for how funny Louis' face looks.  
"Yeah, sure, whatever Louis. I mean, sure."  
"Why are you even here." Louis says, without even making it sound as if it's a question.  
"Wanted to check on you. You're alive, so now I can go. Just kidding. Wanted to piss you off a little bit."  
"I hate you." Louis says, standing up from his couch and waiting for Jacob to do the same.  
"Oh, poor Lou, I told him a joke about Harry and now he's sad."  
"Fucking stand up and go piss someone else off." Louis says, reaching for the door.  
Jacob smirks nd stands up, and quickly rushes to him.  
"Sunshine, can't wait to see you again." Jacob says near Louis' ear, and Louis kicks his butt using his knee, making Jacob chuckle.  
"That was supposed to make you cry." Louis says, and Jacob can tell he's joking.  
"You really love me."  
"Have a bad day, my dear." Louis says, opening the door of his flat.  
"See you in a hour, lovely." Jacob says, exiting the flat.  
"Fucking call me that again and you'll end up losing your dick."  
Louis adruptly stiffens when he hears Harry's laugh.  
What?  
He looks outside the door and misses a few heartbeats because of how fast they're going.  
An absolutely amazing version of Harry is looking at him, smiling, and his eyes are fucking smiling too.  
Jacob looks at Harry and then at Louis, "See? He loves me, doesn't he?" he asks Harry, who looks at Jacob for a moment and then back at Louis.  
He honestly doesn't care about him. The one who pretended that was going to be fucked by Louis. Sure. In his dreams.  
"Oh, uhm, Harry, hi. I mean, I don't usually -I'm not the kind of person that- I mean, I, uhm, it's not-"  
This time is Jacob who can't help it but laugh.  
Louis' feeling so awkward right now, and Harry's looking at him with that twinkle in his eyes, he's just irresistible, but he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want Harry to think he's a bad person. One day they'll hopefully adopt ten children, so what if Harry thinks Louis won't be able to be a nice dad?  
Louis should have been more careful.  
"First he almost puch me because I told a joke, then he stutters when you look at him. All right. See you at work, then. Have fun you two."  
Jacob actually disappears in the corner of the stairs (actually, Louis and Harry just don't care about him) and Louis awkwardly looks at Harry, who's still looking at him.  
"I mean, I don't, -I'm sorry, he just pisses me off really bad. I hate him."  
Harry gets closer to Louis, in all his beauty and irresistible -fucking- suit.  
"Lou, it's okay, did I say anything about it?"  
Louis shakes his head no.  
"Hope you didn't fuck him this time, neither. But I don't think so from the way you were talking to him."  
Louis gets closer to Harry until their bodies are almost touching, and he hugs him.  
"I swear we didn't do anything." Louis says, and Harry thinks Louis' voice right now is so cute he'd kiss it if only he could.  
Harry smiles and kisses Louis' hair instead.  
"I was kidding, Lou."  
Louis relaxes in Harry's arms, until Harry pulls away.  
"Gotta go." Harry says, pouting, and Louis swears his knees almost gave his weight.  
Then Louis remembers he has a job, too.  
"Shit. Me too, but I'll see you later, yeah?" Louis asks, lifting on his tip toes and kissing Harry's cheek once.  
Harry smiles at him and looks at Louis another time -his body should be illegal- and then he kisses Louis and heads to the stairs, leaving Louis alone.  
He already misses him.


	47. October 22th, 2016

Louis and Harry are at home, snogging as if they'll never get a chance to do it again.  
(They're extremely cute.)  
Harry's seated on his kitchen table, smiling, his legs parted with Louis in between them holding his hips while Harry has his arms around Louis' neck.  
He's just so happy to have Louis.  
Louis slides one of his hands on Harry's knee, caressing it, and Harry presses himself even more on Louis -if possible.  
Fortunately -or unfortunately- their pelvis aren't touching.  
Louis smiles and runs his hand all over Harry's thigh, and Harry bites Louis' lower lip.  
Louis rests his hand on Harry's knee, and keeps kissing his -yes- boyfriend, until Harry pulls away, some minutes later.  
Louis pecks Harry's lips and kisses Harry's shoulder.  
"Lou."  
Louis smiles again, despite his headache, because Harry makes him happy just by calling him that.  
"Yeah?"  
Harry stays silent for a moment, "I'll miss you..."  
Louis frowns in confusion and tries not to melt at Harry's voice. It sounded so sorry and worried and sweet, and- wait, he's not supposed to think a voice is sweet, isn't he? Oh, well.  
He's looking at Harry now, as if to ask him what he's talking about.  
"Won't be in London for...three weeks...because, I, uhm, I have a special class to attend. Remember when I told you something about a class which develops your level, and, yeah, it's, uhm, a bit distant from here. Don't know the exact destination, but I'll have to stay there for three weeks. And, uhm, I'll miss you."  
Louis smiles, Harry's such a cutie.  
"Har." Louis says, sliding his other hand on Harry's knee, "I'm so proud of you for this. See? You're making progress! Of course I'll miss you, so much, Har, but this!" Louis says, excided about Harry all of a sudden. He didn't expect this at all, and he's glad about it because the other night Harry was complaining about his job-related projects, which didn't even exist.  
Harry smiles now, not pouting anymore, because he's never seen a person so happy for him, apart from his mother.  
Louis makes him so happy.  
Harry wants to say it so bad. And he wants to say he loves Louis, because it's the only sentence he can think about when he's with him, but he has to take a hold of himself and keep it just for his heart -and mind, and stomach, and bones, and dick, and every single other body part.  
This is his little secret, for now.  
His little secret that's been on his mind for six years, but that's okay.  
"So you're not mad?"  
Louis parts his lips in surprise, and Harry tries not to smile top widely.  
He's never seen a person as lovely as Louis.  
"What? You kidding? I'm so excited for you, I can't wait to see how you're going to succeed in what you really like doing! How could I be mad? At you?" Louis asks, disbelief in both his voice and face.  
Harry didn't expect this. He wants to marry Louis right now, on this table.  
"Thanks, Lou. You have no idea how that makes me happy." Harry's loving how supportive Louis seems to be toward him.  
"Don't thank me, I'm truly glad, Har, of course I am." Louis says getting closer to Harry and pecking his lips again.  
Harry smiles and pecks Louis' lips.  
"When are you going to go there?"  
Harry pecks Louis' lips again and thinks about it for a moment, "Uhm...in ten days I guess, or something like that. There had been a couple of problems to organize it all, but now everything should be set."  
Louis smiles and cups Harry's cheeks with his hands. His little hands so cute on Harry.  
"Want you to learn as much as you can, yeah? I know this is important for you. Stay focused, yeah? I-"  
Louis almost said he loved Harry.  
He takes a deep breath.  
He has to control himself, it's too early and he doesn't want Harry to think he's pretending.  
"I'll be here waiting for you." Louis says, and Harry chuckles.  
"Lou, I won't go tomorrow, you idiot."  
Louis kisses his nose, "Don't care. I have to make sure you know it."  
Harry kisses Louis again, and again, and again, and Louis tries to convince himself he's not dreaming.

 

"Lou, I was thinking about something."  
Louis, seated on the couch near Harry, stops looking at the TV to look at Harry, raising his eyebrows.  
"Oh? Really? Wow. Bet you have a new question for me. Your daily question exclusively reserved to me."  
Harry smiles lovingly and nods, "Was thinking about when we got stuck on the elevator and you were wearing a suit. And it was, uhm, kind of late. Why were you dressed like that if lately you're always dressed so casual? And from what I understood, now you come back home from work earlier. I'm not a stalker, I promise. Just curious."  
Louis turns his body in Harry's direction, looking at his breathtaking eyes, "For several weeks I had to do a school project, it's a long story, and the Headmaster told us to wear that shit. He apparently changed idea out of the blue, and now says we just have to wear a tie, at least. I mean, over a shirt. With trousers and all." Louis says, making Harry chuckle.  
He leans over Louis and puts a hand on his leg, his mouth now too close to Louis' ear, "You know, I'd really like it if you wore just a tie for me." Harry says, kissing Louis' ear, half jokingly half seriously.  
Louis holds his breath for a moment and lets his hand go straight to Harry's back, holding him close.  
Louis kisses Harry's jawline, "I will, baby."  
And, oh.  
Harry's dick twitched in its boxers when Louis called him that.  
He wants Louis to do something to him and make him come while whispering in his ear he's his baby. Fuck.  
Louis smirks at Harry's dazed face, and kisses Harry more.  
He kisses all over Harry's jawline and down on his neck, sucking his skin and leaving a lovebite.  
Harry's desperately trying not to moan.  
"Mh." Louis proudly looks at the new lovebite, "Baby boy."  
All right.  
No.  
Harry's dick twiches in its pants again and it's getting too hard to be untouched.  
Harry's still trying not to moan as much as he can at how Louis called him.  
Shit. That sounds so common, so stupid, something which everyone would say -well, not really-, but there's something in Louis' voice that completely changes everything.  
And Harry needs Louis to do something to him. He needs Louis to do something more.  
Louis smirks, knowing the effect he has on Harry, leaving another kiss on Harry's neck, this time pressing his lips on his skin longer than usual.  
"Louis, please." Harry says, and he doesn't even know what he's saying.  
"What, Har?"  
Harry clenches his fists on Louis' legs.  
Fuck me, he thinks.  
But no. No.  
No.  
"Stop it, Lou, please, I can't." Harry complains, and Louis leaves another kiss on Harry, this time on his cheek.  
He'd like to wreck the shit out of Harry right now, but he just sighs.  
He has to take it slow. He can wait.  
No, he can't, alright, but he has to.  
"Done. You okay?"  
And why the hell did someone just ring at the doorbell? Right now?  
Why?  
Did they ask for permission?  
No. So why?  
"Yeah, I'm okay, Lou. Way more than that. Hold on." Harry stands up and heads to the door, seeing the one who rang the doorbell is Martin.  
He learnt Martin and Louis can't be in the same room at the same time, for what happened last time he saw him.  
He'll try to make it as quick as possible.  
"Hi, Martin." Harry says, after opening the door.  
"Haz, shit. Sorry. I'm sorry for how I acted last time I was here, but I didn't know what I was saying. This is the first spare moment I could find to come and see you." Martin says, quickly, and Harry takes a deep breath.  
He doesn't care about Martin in this moment.  
"Do you want to come in? Just know there's Louis, too." Harry says, because he wants to be polite with Martin. They were in a relationship, after all. Too bad Harry thought Martin wasn't as possessive as he is.  
Martin enters the flat and watches Harry close the door, "Haz, did you hear what I said?"  
Harry looks at him and nods, "Yes, but it wasn't very nice of you coming here and acting like you did."  
While Martin tries to convince Harry that he didn't mean to cause any problem, Louis stands up from the couch, still dazed by Harry's actions, and arrives where Harry and Martin are talking, in front of the door.  
Wait, what is that idiot doing there?  
"I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. Forgive me, please? Wanna have dinner together?" Martis asks, making Louis chuckle, who's getting closer to them.  
Harry feels lightly relieved with Louis by his side. At least he doesn't have to be alone with Martin any more. He wasn't feeling that comfortable.  
"What about you go back to your home, instead of wasting your time where you don't belong?" Louis asks, raising an eyebrow.  
Harry tenses up for a second and looks at Louis, then at Martin. He doesn't want to have any problems.  
"What are you even doing here?" Martin asks, looking at Louis.  
"Not your business."  
Martin looks at Harry, "Haz? Did you forget what he did to you? And now he's in your house? Seriously? Thought you wanted me back!"  
Harry sighs, he should have never called Martin in the first place, especiallu not at his his house. And he defintely should not have cooked for him.  
Louis clenches his fists and takes a deep breath to calm down. He won't punch Martin in here. He doesn't want Harry to freak out.  
He's not a violent person, he won't let Martin piss himself off entirely.  
"Martin, I've always thought about him. I've never stopped. Now, do you want to say something else? I forgive you, okay, don't worry."  
Martin seems to be truly sorry, "But...you don't want to see me anymore? What about that Friday we spent together?"  
Martin asks, trying to sound sad. He knows what happened that night and why, but he's trying to avoid what his mind is telling him.  
"He was thinking about me when you were sucking his dick. Deal with it." Louis says, making Harry's cheeks turn red.  
Louis finds Harry more gorgeous than usual.  
"You're so desperate to get in his pants. Please, have some pride." Martin says, chuckling. He knows Harry was thinking about Louis.  
"Uhm...about that...I mean, I didn't do it on purpose but...you see...I just...of course at the very beginning I was thinking about you...but...then...I couldn't help it...I'm sorry." Harry says, his cheeks blushing even more.  
He feels so ashamed of it.  
Martin looks at Harry's face, he seems to be very sorry, so he decides to stop making Harry feel bad.  
"Alright, Harry, stop. I knew you were thinking about Louis. I'm not stupid. You'd spend God knows how long talking about Louis. I did it 'cause I knew you were feeling nervous because of that idiot and I just wanted to make you feel good."  
Both Louis and Harry look surprised.  
"Okay, nice, yeah. Call me an idiot another time and I'll make sure to make you feel sorry about it."  
Harry clears his throat, "I think I should apologise. I'm sorry. I used you and I still feel bad." he says, even if he already said sorry.  
"That's okay, Haz. Now you know how Louis feels everytime he looks at you and thinks about how stupid he was to brainwash you and cheat on you." Martin says, making Harry's heart hurt. Harry swears his heart is actually hurting, there's a strong pression on it and he can't breath as easily as usual.  
Louis steps closer to Martin, trying to ignore how tight his throat feels. He's not going to cry. He can't do it right now.  
"You don't even know me, yet you think you have the right to say all these things about me, mh?" Louis asks in a menacing tone -he's just trying to make his voice sound steady-, that makes Harry worry even more.  
He's not feeling bad for himself, he doesn't care about himself, but he's feeling bad because he knows how much Louis feels guilty about what he did. Louis apologises to Harry almost everyday.  
"Harry spent most of the time we were together talking about you, and now that I finally can see you I'm excited, you have to understand it." Martin says, and Louis is really trying not to punch him.  
He doesn't have to punch him. He can use words instead. No violence. No. He won't use that.  
Louis smiles at him, "That's very nice of you, dear. But, you see, I don't care about the things you do in your life. If you couldn't even take care of Harry when you had the chance, as I am doing now, it's none of my business."  
Harry holds his breath for a couple of seconds.  
He doesn't know what to do.  
"Oh? You're taking care of him? As you used to do? Now, tell me, how many people are you currently sleeping with, even if you apparently have Harry back? Ten? Fifteen?"  
Alright, something made Harry react to that.  
Martin crossed the line. He can't fucking talk to Louis like that.  
Harry knows Louis is at least a slightly better person now.  
Before Louis can say something, though, Harry speaks, getting closer to Martin.  
"Who do you think you are, Martin?" Harry asks, calmly, making both Louis and Martin look at him.  
They seem to be really curious about what he has to say.  
Just looking at Harry's angelic face is making Louis relax lightly.  
"Harry, c'mon, are you on his side? Seriously? You did forget what he did."  
Harry takes a deep breath and gets even closer to Martin.  
"You don't need to remind me details of my life with him. Thank you, though. I just wanted to know who you think you are to come here and wasting my time because you're trying to ruin the time I finally get to spend with Louis. It was just a simple question."  
Martin raises his eyebrows, "Haz, relax, I was just kidding."  
Harry doesn't recognise Martin anymore. He wasn't like that until last month. He doesn't know what happened to him but he doesn't want to see him any more.  
Harry makes Martin step back, just a little bit.  
Martin chuckles, "Did we switch our roles already?"  
Harry takes a deep breath, his muscles all tense.  
"Don't ever dare talk to Louis like that again. He didn't do anything bad to you. Now I suggest you to go home, I'm sorry I can't make you some tea. Don't want you to be disrespectful with it, too."  
Martin's surprised face is amazing right now.  
Louis tries not to smile at what Harry said, instead he brushes his hand on Harry's arm.  
"Harry, calm down, I was just kidding."  
"I don't plan to calm down. Do you need anything else?"  
Martin changes his expression immediately.  
"No. Apparently you aren't available anymore. Hope you'll have fun with Louis taking advantage of you."  
Harry forces himself to stay silent and holds Louis by his arm, who tried to get too close to Martin.  
Harry glares at him, still holding his wrist in his hand, "You're so much more than that."  
He says, leaving Louis' wrist and opening the door, "Martin, have a good night."  
Martin looks at him and Louis, then exits the house, muttering something.  
Harry closes the door and sighs.  
Louis and Harry both go back on the couch, Harry's legs are on Louis' lap and his back is pressing on the couch. Louis' hands are holding Harry's legs.  
They're both thinking about what has just happened.  
"I'm not enough for you. I'm not right for you." Louis says, looking at Harry.  
Harry feels a horrible feeling creeping inside him.  
"I don't deserve you. I shouldn't be here with you. I don't deserve you." Louis says, and Harry feels his eyes watering.  
His eyes are two assholes.  
"You're more than enough. Believe me. Do you trust me?" Harry asks, straightening his back up and getting extremely close to Louis, cupping his cheeks with his hands.  
Louis looks into his eyes and slowly nods.  
"Then please believe me when I say you're important. Please. Don't think about what Martin said. He's jealous because he knows if I let you in my life again you're worth it. Way more than him."  
Louis thinks about it for a moment.  
Harry seems to have a point.  
"Lou. Please, I -Lou, I think I..."  
Harry closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Louis.   
'I think I love you', that's what he was trying to say.  
He can't do it. He can't rush things, Louis would think he's an idiot that doesn't know what love is. Their relationship has started not too long ago. He'll have to wait to say something so important to Louis.  
Louis brushes his lips on Harry's, he feels like the only thing which could calm him down are those lips.  
"You what, Har?" he asks, his voice trembling slightly.  
Harry wants Louis' trembling voice to disappear.  
"I think you're important. You really are. I want you to believe me and ignore him."  
Louis puts his fingers on Harry's waist, now Harry's sitting on Louis' lap, but he's not straddling Louis.  
"Harry, but- but, he's right, Harry."  
Harry caresses his hair, "Yes, he is. And I don't care. You're important to me." he whispers on Louis' lips, making the man shiver.  
"H-har, do you...do you think I'm a whore?" Louis asks, his voice cracking again.  
Harry presses his lips on Louis in a sweet kiss.  
"Oh, no, Lou. No, you're not, baby. You're not, I promise. I know you aren't." Harry whispers, and pecks Louis' lips slowly.  
And, well.  
Louis slightly smiles.  
Has Harry just called him baby?  
"I'm glad you think so." Louis says, taking a deep breath.  
"Do you believe me when I say you're important?"  
Louis holds Harry closer, "Yes. Thanks, Harry. You're important to me, too."  
Harry smiles and pecks Louis' lips, pushing his tongue inside.  
They both relax, and they start kissing slowly, gently, just to make the other know how important they are for each other.  
But Louis can't stop thinking about Martin's words.  
He wishes he could stop his mind, but he can't. He always thinks about that stuff when he's without Harry, and now...  
He pulls away after a minute, and Harry looks at him.  
"What, Lou?"  
Louis takes a deep breath.  
"Maybe you think I'm important for you, but I'm not. I don't deserve you and I never will. I don't know why I'm here. Shouldn't be here. I hurt you. I made you cry. I...I'm a monster. I made you cry so m-much and -I don't deserve you, you have to understand it. I will n-never apologise enough for what I d-did." Louis whispers, his voice still manages to crack.  
Let's not talk about how fast Louis and Harry's hearts are beating.  
"Lou, what are you saying? Stop it. I told you it's okay. We're trying to fix this, aren't we? Together, we're trying to change what happened."  
Louis speaks before Harry can say anything else, "We can't change the past, nothing that had happened will never change. I know I'm an idiot because I cry about it now, but I wasn't realizing what I was d-doing, and if I had, I didn't care. I can't change how m-much I hurt you, and it s-still makes me feel bad. After all this time. I don't get what's w-wrong with me." Louis says, trying not to get his eyes too watery.  
Harry looks at him for a moment, kind of lost.  
"What if I told you I'm okay now?"  
Louis shakes his head, "I don't c-care. I mean, yes, I care, fuck, of course I do. B-but...I can't stop thinking about what I did.  And -and all the things Martin said are making me feel so bad. Because he's right, Harry. I'm such an idiot."  
Louis is really trying not to cry.  
Harry looks at him.  
"I think we can do this. We can support each other. You'll help me trusting you more, I'll try to make you understand what happened in the past doesn't count any more, because now we're okay. Think about that, Louis. We were more than okay before Martin came here. And we've always been in these last few weeks. We just have a couple of flaws to deal with." Harry says, holding Louis close.  
"No. No, Harry. Martin's right. What am I even doing here? I'm hurting you. Or I will. I'll always hurt you. Looking at you h-hurts m-me. Sometimed I think a-about how...brutal I was. Now, please, let me stand up."  
Harry's so torn right now. Is Louis leaving him? Forever?  
Harry stands up, and Louis mimics him.  
"Gotta go home. Sorry. I have to go home." Louis says, walking away from Harry.  
Harry quickly walks after Louis, and takes his arm as soon as he's near him.  
"Stay here." he whispers, and Louis looks at him.  
He shakes his head no, "I can't."  
"Stay here with me."  
Louis shakes his head again, "I'll hurt you. Let me go."  
Harry drops Louis' arm and looks at him, his eyes watery.  
"Don't you understand the things you're telling me are hurting me? Don't you undertand you just have to stop saying them and stay here with me?"  
Louis wants to say yes.  
He wants to nod and kiss Harry, and love him, and spend the rest of his life with him, and do everything with him.  
But he can't.  
He's not right for Harry, he can't ruin his life anymore.  
"See? The only thing I can do is hurt you."  
"You want to go away and leave me? That's i-it? Stop everything we've been trying to achieve?" Harry asks, and he doesn't know if he wants to know the answer.  
Louis looks down.  
He looks back at Harry after two seconds.  
"I wish I could stay here with you and tell you how much you're important to me over and over again, and how I'm happy again now that I'm with you every day. But I'm not supposed to stay with you. I can't stay with you and hurt you. Martin's right. I'll end up fuck other people and make you suffer even more. I don't want that." Louis says, on the verge of crying, and Harry chuckles or else he'll start crying.  
"Alright, just answer me now. When was the last time you fucked someone?" Harry asks, and Louis steps back.  
"Why? Doesn't deal with us."  
'Us.'  
"Tell me."  
Louis takes a deep breath and tries to keep eye contact with Harry, "Don't know. It's been years ago."  
Harry nods. He knew it, Louis had once said something very similar a couple of weeks ago.  
"See? You're not a whore, Louis. You won't end up cheating on me. Not if you really care about me. If I'm really important for you, you'll never cheat on me. I know you won't. So where's the problem? I'm telling you it's okay." Harry says, desperately trying not to lose the most important person in his life -apart from his mother.  
Louis stares at him for a couple of seconds.  
"Thank you, Harry. You're the nicest person I've ever known. But I'm hurting you. So now I'm going home. Hope-"  
Harry adruptly steps closer to Louis and grabs him from his hips.  
"You won't go home. Not in this state. You have to stay here with me. No matter what. You stay here."  
Louis shakes his head, "Harry, leave me alone. That's what I deserve. I d-don't deserve the nicest person in the world."  
Harry's eyes darken, making Louis want to cling on Harry, despite his look.  
"I won't let you go away from me just because of your insicurities. You stay here. You won't hurt me."  
"Harry! Don't y-you understand I will?" Louis raises his voice, making Harry hold his hips tighter.  
"Don't you understand you're hurting me, right now, because you're saying you want to go away from me? That means you don't want to see me anymore. I'm feeling worthless, too." Harry admits.  
He can't let Louis go. He cares too much about him.  
Louis cups Harry's cheeks with his hands, "Har, n-no, wait, no. It's not that I don't want you. I do. Fuck, I do. But...I'm scared. I'm so scared of the future, what if I'm going to fuck up again? And make you suffer? No. I couldn't stand it again."  
Harry takes a deep breath, "Shut up. You'll show me you won't hurt me again. But you'll stay here with me. I know you don't want to leave me. Please, Lou, don't leave me. Please."  
Louis thinks he's actually melting right now.  
"Why are you doing all of this for me? For me?" Louis asks.  
'Because I love you'.  
"Because I don't want to lose you again and I know you don't really want to go. You're just reacting negatively to what Martin said. Everyone would."  
Louis looks at Harry, "But I can't stay here." he says, lowering his voice.  
"I think I'm going to -I don't know. This is not possible. You know what? If you want to go, go ahead. Go away." Harry steps back and looks at Louis, who's looking like a lost puppy.  
"C'mon, maybe you'll finally be happy." Harry tries to keep his voice steady as much as he can.  
A couple of tears run down Louis' cheeks, making Harry's legs internally tremble.  
"I-i'm sorry, okay? I always am, I k-know. I'm sorry f-for...b-because r-right now I'm hurting y-you again. I'm s-sorry, Har. B-but, the thing i-is..." Louis takes a deep breath, staring into Harry's sad eyes. "I'm scared! B-because...because I'm s-supposed to be an adult a-and...t-take care of you, but I a-always have this fucking feeling o-of guilt eating m-me alive and...I'm just scared to l-lose y-you H-harry, and I don't want to!" Louis exclaims, now crying.  
As much as he hates to admit it, yes, he's crying.  
Harry quickly wraps his arms around Louis, holding him close to his body.  
Louis immediately hugs Harry, trying to stop crying, but his tears seem to duplicate.  
"I d-don't know w-why I said t-those things. I didn't w-want t-to make a-an eventual p-problem h-happen. B-but I...honestly, I c-can't stay a-away from you." Louis whispers, and Harry kisses his hair.  
"D-didn't mean to hurt you...a-again."  
Harry slighlty smiles, because he knew Louis would have eventually say something similar to this.  
He's glad Louis stopped acting as an idiot.  
"Please, Lou, stop crying. It's okay, we're okay. It's nothing." Harry says, now looking at Louis.  
"I j-just don't want a-anything bad happen to you."  
The fact Louis' crying is making Harry's trust issues go away even more.  
"Lou, you-"  
Louis cuts Harry off after he's taken a deep breath.  
"Forget what I said. I-I shouldn't- shouldn't have...fucking emotions." he mutters, and Harry frowns in confusion.  
"What? Lou, don't worry-"  
Louis cuts Harry off again, "This..." he clears his throat, "This was a mistake. I don't deserve you. I-" Louis takes a deep breath, "Don't deserve your kisses, your hugs, and your...I just don't deserve you. And you deserve someone way too normal and nice than me." Louis says, heading to the door, and Harry stays still.  
What did Louis just say?  
"No! Louis, wait!"  
Harry rushes to him right when he's conscious again and grabs Louis by his wrist right when he's opening the door. "No, Harry. I'm leaving. Martin's right. Please, don't make this harder than how it already is."  
"You want to stay with me. I know you want, Louis."  
"C-can you please leave me alone for five minutes? I d-don't want to cry in front of you." Louis says, and Harry can hear the shame in his voice.  
Harry closes the door, making Louis walk back in his flat.  
He cups Louis' cheeks in his hands and looks at him, taking a deep breath, "It's okay if you want to cry. I want you to cry, if it'll make you feel better afterwards."  
Louis can't stop crying right now, and it's awkward, and painful, because his heart is beating too fast and he feels like he doesn't have a body anymore, his feelings are overwhelming and he's confused, and he's trembling.  
And he loves Harry so much that just thinking about hurting him is making him cry more.  
He hurt the only person who cared about him -and still does- more than his own life.  
"H-harry, please. I- Harry." Louis says, and he can't even recognize what he's saying out loud and what he's saying in his mind.  
"Please, stay with me, Lou." 'I love you so much.' "Please."  
Louis shakes his head no.  
"Let m-me just...Harry, it's more complicated than t-that."  
Why can't he fucking stop crying?  
He wants to stop so bad, why can't he control his emotions?  
"I want to know, then. Tell me why are you crying. I want to know."  
Louis can't tell Harry he loves him, nor can he tell him all the other reasons why he still reacts so bad when he thinks about his past -their past.  
"I can't."  
Harry takes a deep breath, his arms now straight on his body.  
"I don't want to put pressure on you. I mean, I think I'm just stressing you out right now. I'm sorry, I just-"  
"I'm s-sorry, too." Louis cuts Harry off, taking a deep breath, "It's just that I-"  
Louis lowers his head and looks down on the floor, "I hate m-myself, sometimes."  
Harry stares at Louis in disbelief, and tries to ignore how much knowing Louis hates himself is making him feel like someone just punched the shit out of him.  
Louis looks up at him, fearing Harry's going to laugh at him -even if he knows he'd never do something like that- and then looks down on the floor again.  
He shouldn't have said so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this fanfic,   
> thanks for leaving kudos,  
> thanks for leaving comments.
> 
> *cheeky message alarm*   
> you guys always make my day and im not sarcastic (which is weird)


	48. October 22th, 2016 - part two

It takes Harry a minute to find his voice again.  
"Would you like to talk about it?" Harry asks carefully.  
Louis sighs. Of course Harry would have asked an explaination.  
He takes a deep breath and looks at Harry, and right when he sees his green eyes staring at him and his concerned look, he gathers the courage to speak.  
"Harry, I hate myself so much. I try not to think about it, but...my mind won't stop reminding me the things I did. It's a torture."   
Harry considers two options to justify Louis' statement: (a) Louis is not saying the truth, he's just exaggerating things so that he can make Harry feel sorry for him and fuck him, or (b) Louis is absolutely amazing because he's still concerned for what he did to Harry when he was younger, which is not completely positive, because Louis' suffering.   
Harry thinks the second option suits Louis better, also because of the way he's been acting lately.   
But, would it be possible he still was feeling guilty?   
Maybe what Louis said is not the only reason why he seems to be so broken.  
Harry wants to trust Louis, so he takes Louis' hand in his own, and squeezes it.  
He won't never stop believing Louis truly wants to stay with him right now, rather than go back to his house.  
They have to stay together right now. Harry wants to be with Louis and makes his sadness go away.  
Louis squeezes Harry's hand almost immediately, getting closer to him.  
He seems to be so little right now, Harry just wants to protect him, to hug him, and to kiss him until Louis will feel better.  
"It's always been like that, but before seeing you again it was fading, or I was just trying to convince myself I was over it. But then...when I saw you, here, with those eyes of yours, the way you looked at me, and...Harry..."  
Louis rests his head on Harry's shoulder, and Harry slightly smiles at the memory, positioning a hand on Louis' back, caressing it.  
"I couldn't even think properly when I saw you. In fact, I didn't know it was you. I mean, I just couldn't believe it."  
Harry doesn't know why Louis is talking about him, instead of saying why he hates himself, but he likes it, so he's going to listen everything Louis has to say and wait for him to calm down.  
"And...so...from that day I was so happy...but at the same time I started feeling as I always used to, and I know it does sound stupid, but I really can't help it if I'm feeling so guilty." Louis says, and at least he's not crying any more.  
Harry sighs and kisses Louis' hair, "Doesn't sound stupid." he whispers.  
Louis smiles lightly and hugs Harry, making the other wrap his arms around him.  
Louis' feeling better just thanks to that.  
"But...on the other hand...sorry if it sounds cheeky, but when I'm with you I usually forget about everything. The problem is when I'm alone. Or when Martin reminds me how awful I am."  
Harry squeezes Louis' body in his arms, kissing his hair again.  
They stay silent for a while, and it's completely okay, until Harry whispers something.  
"So, I'm your medicine, eh?" Harry asks, and Louis pulls away to look at him.  
When he sees Harry has his adorable smile on those lips, he can't help but smile lightly.  
"Yes, but you can't flatter yourself."  
Harry positions his hands on Louis waist, "Why not?"  
"I don't know." Louis says, making Harry smile.  
He cups Louis' cheeks with his palms and looks at him, and Louis can't help but look at his green eyes -which are the definition of perfection.  
"I want you to know that I'm here for you, whatever you want, or need."  
Louis nods, "But I feel like an idiot."  
Harry frowns in confusion, and Louis can't blame him.  
"I'm not supposed to cry." he says, making Harry's frown disappear.  
"You are a human. You can't keep your emotions inside, or else you're going to explode."   
Louis sighs, "Yeah, sorry for the break-down. Wish I didn't cry that much."  
Harry kisses Louis' forehead.  
"I want you to cry in front of me, if you have to cry. Don't say you can't do that again, Lou."  
Louis' starting to relax now, and it's all because of Harry.  
"Thank you. I don't get why you're so nice with me. I don't deserve you." Louis whispers, and Harry raises an eyebrow.  
"Stop saying that."   
He pecks Louis' lips and deepens the kiss right when Louis parts his lips.  
They kiss slowly, gently, and it's absolutely overwhelming for both of them, and Louis manages to calm down, Harry's feeling relieved, and everything's okay for now.   
Harry keeps whispering on Louis' lips how beautiful he is, and how much important he is for him.  
And, well, Louis slowly starts to believe it.  
He can't be blamed.

 

"I have a question." Harry says, making Louis smile.  
They don't really know what time it is, but it's somewhere during the night.  
"Go ahead."  
Harry looks at Louis, he doesn't know if he should ask him his question or not.  
He's too curious, though.  
"Is there another reason why you acted like you did, before?"  
Louis stiffens.  
"Didn't want to ruin the mood..." Harry says, sensing he shouldn't have asked his daily question.  
Louis looks at Harry, "It's fine, really. I'm actually...a little bit stressed out, so...yeah, and Martin makes me feel really bad."  
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I promise."  
"You don't have to be sorry. You're the only one who doesn't need to be." Louis says, squeezing Harry's hand, which he was already holding.  
"I'm apologising for Martin. Now, why are you stressed out, Lou? I'm not doing a nice job?" Harry asks, getting closer to him.  
He kisses over Louis' neck once, and when he can feel Louis holding his breath, he smirks, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck.  
Louis closes his eyes and tilts his head just the right amount to let Harry know if he wants to divour his neck, he can do it.  
"It's something...related to work, you know..."   
Louis' voice seems to fade away towards the end of his simple sentence, maybe because Harry's giving him a hickey.  
Ops?  
"No, I don't know, tell me." Harry says, and his voice is so low it sends shivers all over Louis' spine.  
Harry's looking at Louis now, smirking, and he's so glad Louis didn't go home.  
Louis opens his eyes and finds Harry's ones staring at him.  
He's trying not to think about how hot Harry looks right now, and he's finding it pretty difficult.  
He moves on the couch they're seated on, just to do something, and Harry's legs go straight on his own, as usual.  
Louis starts caressing one of Harry's leg - which is on his lap- and Harry licks his lips.  
Two hours ago they were almost breaking up or something, crying and almost shouting against each other, and now they're lovingly snogging on Harry's couch, all right.  
Everything is normal, then.  
"You're going to make a big deal of it, and I'm not ready, 'cause I already did make a big deal of it and I'm disappointed, so..."  
Harry raises an eyebrow at him. "Tell me."  
Louis sighs and looks down on his hand brushing over Harry's leg.  
"The Headmaster fired me."  
Harry stops brushing his fingers over Louis' cheek, and Louis looks at him, sensing he's concerned.  
"What? Why?!" Harry asks, already worrying over Louis. He remembers when Louis told him how much he loved his job, and how adorable the children he teached to were.  
"Because I'm gay." Louis whispers, and then he chuckles because, really, it's ridiculous.  
He wants to cry again.  
Harry parts his lips in surprise and looks at Louis in disbelief, "What?! He can't do that! I'm going to go talk to him and say him he's not allowed to." Harry says, and it seems like he's talking to himself at some point.  
Louis smiles, though, because Harry always makes him feel better.  
"Thanks, but he can do whatever he wants. He said I'm not a person who's supposed to be there, especially with children. Apparently I'm a pedophile, because I'm gay." Louis frowns at that, and Harry sees how his body shakes for a moment.  
He takes a deep breath, "Did he say so?"  
Louis sighs, "He said I couldn't stay there any more, with children and all."  
Harry takes another deep breath.  
"Harry...hey...Har, I'm okay, now, you don't have to worry, really." Louis says, seeing the mad look in his face.  
Harry's never mad, at least not when he's with him, so Louis' not used to it.  
"How did he dare firing you because of your sexuality? How. Did. He. Dare." Harry says, removing his hand off Louis, fisting his hands.  
"Harry..."  
"I'm seriously going to go talk to him and solve this out. He has to say sorry to you. He at least owns you that. Nobody is allowed to act like that with you. How did he even dare." Harry says, and Louis' sure his heart is melting right now.  
Nobody has ever said something so nice to him.   
Well, his mother did, but that's not the point.  
Louis smiles and takes Harry's hand in his own, and Harry frowns.   
"Why are you smiling? Is this a prank?"  
Louis shakes his head no, "Nope, but you're lovely."  
Harry's frown disappear, and now his cheeks are red.  
Louis loves him so much, he wishes he could say that to him.  
"I'm not. He shouldn't have fired you. He shouldn't have said you're not supposed to work there. He or she, whoever that idiot is."  
Louis leans over Harry and kisses him, smiling.  
"Thank you." Louis says on Harry's lips, before starting kissing him again.  
Harry's trying to say something, but Louis is not going to let him speak anytime soon.  
However, Harry gives up after a couple of seconds, and enjoys Louis' tongue in his mouth while holding his hips in his hands.  
Harry pulls away first.  
"I'm going to help you look for a school where you can work in. Even if I don't even know how it works."  
Louis pecks Harry's lips and looks at him, "No, you already have too many things to do. I don't think it's possible to get a permanent job soon, but I can try. Maybe a school is in need of a teacher and I can work as a substitute."  
"Can you work in a college? No, right?" Harry asks, and Louis chuckles.  
"It depends, but yes, what I studied at University allows me to work in colleges, too."  
Harry groans, "No, I don't want you to work in one of those."  
"It's not going to be easy, so it won't happen anytime soon."  
"And what are you going to say? That your ex-Headmaster fired you 'cause you're gay?"   
Louis thinks about it for a moment, "Well, no, I can't say that. I'm going to find an excuse. If I want to get a permanent job, though, I'll have to win a contest."  
Harry lights up at that, "Yes, you're going to make it! Of course! Yes, Lou, do the contest!"  
Louis chuckles at how Harry can be sweet.  
"This option isn't easy, neither. Contests for teacher aren't always ready to be taken, so I'll have to wait. Listen, it's even more complicated than that, let's just forget it and forget what I said to you earlier. Didn't mean to have a break down, seriously. Sometimes I feel like I'm not ready to this. Is there something wrong with me?"  
Harry nods at Louis, "The fact you think you don't deserve me."  
Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling, but he's smiling, "You idiot."  
Harry smiles at him and pecks his lips, "It's 'your'."  
Louis chuckles and looks at him, "You're not funny."  
Harry pecks his lips again, "The other day you said I was."  
Louis kisses Harry's nose, "Yes, and you weren't alright with that."  
Harry kisses Louis' cheek, "Yes, because I wasn't. Now I am, so I want you to say it."  
"I won't."  
Harry pouts, and Louis tries not to stare at his lips too much.  
"Rude." Harry says, and Louis smiles.  
"Thanks."  
"Anytime." Harry says, chuckling.

 

\- the following day -

"So, I ended up crying. In front of him. I'm still feeling like an idiot." Louis says looking at his mother, while she's listening to him and feeding one of the twins -her youngest sons.  
She looks up at him while the baby seated in front of her swallows his dinner.  
"Honey, you're not perfect, and I'm glad you aren't. Of course, this is a very complicated situation, so what? I know you care about him, and I'm sure every single effort you're doing now will be totally worth it in the future." Louis' mother says, feeding the baby.  
Louis sighs, he's feeding the other twin, and the scene is as funny as nice.  
"But I'm not supposed to cry, mum." Louis says, looking at her for a moment, but she's not looking at him.  
"Honey, I cry, too. Everyone does. It's completely normal, it doesn't matter how old you are or what's going on, sometimes you just have to cry. Let those tears go away from your body." she says, making Louis feel better.  
"I know, but still."  
They finish feeding the twins and after a while wait for them to fall asleep.  
Louis' mother, Johannah, looks at his son with a little smile, while he's caressing one of the twins' hair.  
After a couple of seconds she quickly grabs the first mobile phone she sees near her, and she takes a picture of his two sons.  
After she's made sure the photo is not blurred, she's back at looking at the scene in front of her, and she's honestly so happy to have a family.   
"He's smiling even if he's asleep." Louis says, still looking at his brother, "Is he always so smiley?" he now looks at his mother, who smiles even more.  
"Yes, he's always smiling, no matter what. But trust me, you don't want to hear him crying."  
Louis smiles too and looks back at the baby.  
After a while, he looks at his mother, still smiling, because he couldn't have asked for a mother more perfect.  
She's always been there for him, and right now she's by his side, watching the twins with him, and he missed that. He missed being with his family.  
Sadly, the others are not at home right now, but he's still glad he could come over to visit her mother.  
"Looking at them..." Louis says, referring to the twins, "makes me wish I had a family with Harry. He's so kind-hearted, he'd be the best father ever."  
Louis says, and his mother smiles, looking lovingly at him. She senses Louis wants to say something more, so she stays quiet and listens to his son carefully.  
"I love him so much, mum. Wish he knew how much I love him. I think this is why I acted so bad, yesterday evening. I care too much about him to let people talk shit about me when he's involved."  
Louis looks at his mother, relaxing when he sees the look on her face.  
She always seems to be so proud of him, and Louis is extremely grateful for that, but he can't get why.  
Or maybe yes, because his mother loves him way too much.  
He doesn't deserve her, neither.  
"I want to meet him, one day. He must be a beautiful person, if it already makes you think about having a family with him. Just because you've been thinking about him for so long, he must be an extremely beautiful person."  
Louis nods, feeling his heart beating faster, "He's the best, mom. I swear, he really is. I'm so happy to have him, and you. And everyone else in this family."  
Johannah smiles at him, pleased for what his son said and admiring how much he's changed during his life.  
She's been there for Louis everytime he needed her, she saw him growing up and tried to give him as much love as possible. Now that she can stay with him, and it's just the two of us, she's feeling complete. He missed his boobear.  
"I'm happy to have all of you, too."

 

Louis was at the supermarket when he got a call from Harry.  
And he almost dropped everything he was olding in his arm when he saw it was his -his- boyfriend.  
"Hey, Harry." he says, trying not to sound as if his heart is beating too fast and he forgot what he had to buy because of Harry.  
"Hi, Lou. Just wanted to say that me and a group of friends are going to a pub later. You wanna join?"  
Louis actually dropped two items on the floor because he thought about a tipsy/drunk version of Harry, which he's never had the lucky to witness, but he's sure it'll be just more adorable than usual.  
"Well, yeah, but I mean if you just want to go with your friends you don't have to feel forced to invite me."  
"I want you to meet my friends 'cause they're curious and they have to know who's the most important person for me."  
Louis misses a couple of heartbeats at Harry's words.  
"Also, I just talked about you via texts, and that's not okay." Harry keeps talking, as if he just hasn't said one of the nicest things he could ever say.  
"If you say so, then it's okay. My mother wants to meet you, you know. It's a little different, I know, don't freak out." Louis says, mentally face palming himself.  
"Oh? So you talked with your mother about me?" Harry asks, and Louis is sure the lovely boy on the other side of the phone is smirking.  
"Absolutely yes, told her how annoying you are and how I have to bare you every single day." Louis says, making Harry smile now, who chuckles in reply.  
"Can't believe! Told the same to my friends, and, well, yeah, my mother as well."  
"We are soul mates, that's it." Louis states, with a joking tone, but he actually thinks so.  
"I'm sure we are." Harry says softly, making Louis heart want to cry.  
"You know you're distracting me from my duties, right?"  
"Oh, no, thought I was your priority."  
Louis smiles at what Harry said.   
He loves him so much.  
"Well, yeah, but what about my dinner?" Louis jokingly asks.  
"I think I'm jealous." Harry says, kidding, even if he's using a serious tone.  
"Don't worry, I'm jealous about your dinner, too." Louis says, checking he has everything he needs, and then heads to the registers.   
"Don't have a dinner." Harry says, hoping Louis will get the hint.  
Of course he gets it.  
"My place. Seven p.m. Take a fork with you and don't tell anyone." Louis says, making Harry chuckle.  
"Thank you. I'll be there with my favourite fork."   
Louis almost jumps hearing Harry's going to have dinner with him, at his place, as they did the first time they resaw each other.  
A passer-by sends him a weird look, but of course Louis couldn't care more.  
"You have a favourite fork?" Louis manages to ask, even if he knows Harry's kidding.  
"Of course! It's yellow."  
"Oh, thought it was pink." Louis says with a smirk, making Harry smirk too.  
"No, Lou, that's the colour of the collar I'll wear for you. One day. Maybe." Harry says with an innocent voice, and Louis flinches so much he drops a few items on the floor -again.  
"Shit, Harry, you can't just..." Louis groans and bends down to recollect his items, and he can hear Harry chuckling.  
"What, Lou?"  
Louis takes a deep breath and goes paying the items, while everyone is looking at him as if he's completely crazy.  
"Nothing, I just thought about something and dropped our dinner on the floor in front of everyone. Happens everytime. Yeah." Louis says, paying his freaking items.  
"Whoops." Harry says, smiling, and he can't wait to kiss him.  
Louis exits the damn supermarket and heads to his car, "No, but, again, Harry, thought you were a good boy? I feel like I always ask you the same question."  
"What makes you think I'm not? You didn't even have to buy it to me, I bought it myself. And it's pink. And it has a loop on the front, you know? Can't wait to show it you."  
Louis tries not to think at his hardening dick and tries so bad not to think about Harry wearing that fucking collar he hasn't even seen.  
Yet.  
"Oh, yeah? Bet you can't wait, yeah." Louis says, quickly opening his car and getting in with his bag.  
He makes sure the door's closed before he speaks again.  
"Daddy can't wait to pull you closer to him with that nice collar you bought, neither." Louis says, lowering his voice lightly, feeling a shiver run down his spine at the thought.  
Okay, now he's thinking about too many things, and Harry shouldn't have mentioned that stupid collar -which Louis can't wait to see.  
"So why aren't you home yet?"  
Louis smirks, "Someone really can't wait to see daddy, mh?"  
Are they actually talking like that?  
"Yeah, come here." Harry says, making Louis go crazy with his voice.  
"I'm not going to fuck you, you know that, right?" Louis asks, even if he wish he could fuck Harry right now.  
"I don't care about you, but about the food you bought. I'm waiting for the food."  
Louis smiles and shakes his head, "Yeah, sure, and I'm waiting for my sisters to tell me they don't want to use a mobile phone any more."  
"Ha ha ha. Very funny. Now come here."  
"I know. Gonna be there in twenty minutes. Do you think you can wait that long?"  
"Yes, I think I can. I'm brave enough."  
"Now, that's a good boy." Louis says, smirking, and he ends the phone call before Harry can say anything else.

 

Right when he comes back home, Louis sends Harry a text to let him know he's there -so that Harry'll come over.  
He starts setting everything for dinner and cooks something, and five minutes later Harry's already in his house.  
"Smells good." Harry says, looking at what Louis' cooking, trying to figure out what it is.  
He's not wearing the collar, but it's okay. Louis will wait.  
"Me? Thanks." Louis says, making Harry smile.  
He slightly slaps Louis' arm, making him chuckle.  
"Didn't know you could actually cook. Seeing you cooking is weirder than I'd expected." Harry says, and he can't help but look at Louis' body, his back, his butt and the back of his legs.  
He's so tiny but at the same time his body's toned, and Harry feels a nice feeling creeping inside him at the thought that Louis is his boyfriend, who now is really different than before -and Harry couldn't love him more.  
Louis' still cooking, so he can't really see Harry, but he knows he's staring at him.  
"You never cooked for me, so shut up." Louis says, and Harry gets closer to him, resting his hands on Louis' hips and his chin on Louis' shoulder, making Louis stiffen.  
"Next time I'll cook for you, then." Harry says in a sweet voice, and Louis can feel he's smiling even if he can't see him.  
Harry can feel Louis' heartbeat for how fast he's going, and he smiles.  
He makes Louis' heart beat that fast.  
He smiles more.  
"T-thanks." Louis says, awkwardly, and his heart shouldn't beat like that just because Harry said he'll cook for him, nor should he sweat so much.  
Harry's glad Louis' reacting like that, though.  
He's so nice and sweet it makes Harry extremely happy.  
He loves Louis.  
"Anytime."  
Harry kisses Louis' cheek and pulls away, and Louis can start breathing again.  
"I'm going to take you to the pub, of course. You'll like my friends, don't worry. If I can bare them, so can you." Harry says, and when Louis looks at him he's smiling.  
He can't help but smile, too.  
"Alright. Will Nick be there?"   
Harry nods, but Louis has already turned around, focused on cooking.  
"Yeah, Nick is my piece of honey."  
Louis sighs, "So, I'm your piece of milk?"  
Harry's eyes snap open in surprise, "You didn't!"  
Louis chuckled, "Oh? What? Rupi Kaur references are purely casual. It wasn't my intention to mention her book."  
Harry quickly gets closer to Louis, looking at him, "Did you read Milk and Honey?"  
Louis chuckles, looking at him now, "Oh, no. Lottie did."  
Harry frowns in confusion, "Who's Lottie?"  
Louis shrugs, "My ex. Yeah, I had a girlfriend. Really hot, if you asked." he says, looking back at the food.  
Harry's lips are parted in astonishement.  
Louis turns to look at him after a couple of seconds, and bursts out aughing when he sees Harry's face.  
"What? It's not funny! I thought you'd never had a girlfriend and you just say so after have mentioned Rupi Kaur! You can't kill my vibe like that." Harry finishes his sentence with a pout, and when Louis looks at him he stops laughing, but can't help but chuckle a little bit.  
"Har, she's my sister. I was just kidding, I'm not attracted to girls. Even if they really are gorgeous, don't you think? My best friend's a girl, actually, but now she's in another country. You'll have to meet her as soon as she comes back." Louis says, making it hard for Harry to process everything simultaneously.  
When he does, though, he slaps Louis' chest jokingly, and Louis chuckles.  
"Listen Harry, I know you like it rough, but this is the second time in five minutes that you slap me. Couldn't you ask if I'm alright with that first?" Louis asks with a smirk, making Harry's cheeks blush.  
Two minutes ago Harry had complete control on Louis, and now is the opposite.  
They're a very weird couple -fortunately.  
"Sorry, can't waste my time on asking you. You're way too tempting." Harry says with a sarcastic tone, making Louis smile.  
Shit, he forgot about the dinner.  
He quickly turns on the food's direction, and lucklily everything's still alright.  
"So, d'you have her book? Milk and Honey? You seem to really like it."   
Harry almost jumps at the name.  
"Nope, wish I had, though. Always forget to order it. It's not that I don't care, but my mind is a bitch sometimes. I love that book so much."  
Louis nods, already having an idea to make Harry's day, and he smiles when Harry starts talking about the book.  
He loves Harry's personality so much.

 

Louis and Harry have been 'dancing' for twenty minutes now and to say they're having fun would be an understatement. Harry can see once in a while his friends dancing or simply walking out of the dance floor, but the only person he can't really take his eyes off is Louis, who's way too gorgeous.  
They had a drink before, but it was almost nothing, in fact they're well aware of what's happening, and they both like it.  
It's nice enjoying these special moments and remember them rather than waste and throw them away, because your mind can't process them.  
Harry's laughing at something Louis said, even if the following second he forgets it because Louis positions himself in front of Harry giving him his back, and he steps back until he's almost touching Harry's body.  
Harry looks at Louis, confused, while Louis looks for a moment at him and then he's looking in front of him again, but he's slowly moving his hips, that means he's moving his arse on Harry's body.  
That means Harry wasn't expecting that, but that doesn't mean he's going to complain.  
Why would he ever complain about Louis dancing on him?  
Fortunately -or unfortunately- Louis' not directly dancing on Harry, he's not grinding on him.  
He's just having fun and waiting for Harry's hands to take their place on his hips, but he just wants to dance.  
In the following second, as if reading Louis' mind, Harry positions his hands on Louis' hips, and they try to dance without touching to much, which happens anyways.  
Louis chuckles when Harry is the one who moves his body on Louis' and almost jumps, while Harry blushes.  
He's grateful for the fact Louis can't see him, not even when he turns around to look at him.  
Louis sees him blushing anyways, and smiles, lifting on his tip toes.  
"I know you're not used to be behind, but you don't have to freak out." Louis says at Harry's ear, hoping the boy will hear him.  
Harry slaps Louis' shoulder lightly, making Louis laugh.  
"Your face is just adorable right now." Louis says, looking at Harry, but the music is too loud.  
"What?!" Harry asks, because he couldn't hear him.  
Louis smiles and shakes his head to make him understand it doesn't matter.  
"Shut up, then!" Harry exclaims, smiling, and Louis kisses him.  
"You shut up." Louis says on Harry's lips, and Harry keeps smiling because he didn't understand a word but he loves Louis too much, so everything he does is amazing.  
"Shut up." Harry says on Louis' lips, making Louis chuckle because he didn't understand him. But Harry is his soul mate so he finds him wondrful even when he just breath -which, by the way, is an underestimated act: breathing is important, and Harry happens to do that very well.  
Louis takes Harry's hand in his own and pulls away from his lips, going away from the dance floor.  
Harry follows Louis, still smiling because he's holding his little hand, until something he's not aware of happens, and he loses his balance.  
He loses his balance on Louis, who luckily manages to keep Harry still and hold him for two or three seconds.  
"And you drank just a drink, baby Styles?" Louis says, and fortunately he can talk a little bit more normally, because the music is not as loud as it was where they were before.  
"Shut up." Harry says, smiling, and he swears he's not acting like that because of a stupid drink.  
He's completely aware of his actions, it's just that he's always extremely happy when he's around Louis, and tonight everything seems to be more exciting.  
Louis looks at him for a moment and raises an eyebrow.  
Harry crossed his arms on his chest and raises an eyebrow, too.  
They burst out laughing together, and Harry thinks Louis' laugh is amazing -which is totally uncommon. Harry thinking something about Louis is amazing? Oh, please.  
They calm down a minute later, almost at the exact moment when Nick heads to them.  
"Harry! How are you doing, mate? Louis!" Nick says, first referring to Harry and then to Louis.  
It should be awkward, but it isn't thanks to the situation.  
"I'm bored because Louis is useless." Harry says, but he can't help the look he sends to Louis.  
His eyes could have had the shape of two hearts, if cartoons could be applied to reality.  
Louis smiles at him and sticks his tongue out of his mouth, and he seriously feels like he's fifteen again.  
"Oh, oh, what? Louis, c'mon, make him have some fun!"   
"You're right." Louis says, smirking now, still looking at Harry and getting closer to him until their lips touch and they're snogging in front of everyone, but they don't care, and it's the best feeling ever, to show the world who's the person you really love, who's the one you want to spend your entire life with no matter what happened in the past, no matter who you are.  
Even if you're the only one to know that.


	49. November 5th, 2016

its_curlyhere: hi, Lou. Sorry if i'm texting you just now. Haven't had any internet connection in the last few days.

louis_tomlinson: har x 

louis_tomlinson: dont worry, really. How is it going there?

its_curlyhere: i love it! There are so many things to do and i cant wait to do them all. Today i just had some classes, but it was really nice. 

louis_tomlinson: you are really nice

louis_tomlinson: sorry it was a friend

its_curlyhere: thank you, nice friend.

louis_tomlinson: gonna pretend you're not flirting with my 'nice friend' and ask you more about your day :)

louis_tomlinson: no but seriously how were the classes? did you find them too difficult?

its_curlyhere: mh, no. I really liked them, they're truly interesting and it's hard to lose your focus during them for this reason. Glad i'm here.

louis_tomlinson: if you say so, then I'm glad too. What about the professors? Any differences between the ones you have here? 

its_curlyhere: not that much, but they're posh and, well, i dont like it. It's okay, though, it's not that i have to spend my entire life with them.

louis_tomlinson: hope you won't or else i'll start getting worried. Now i know how you feel when you say you don't want me to work in a college. Even if it's a little bit different...

its_curly_here: dont worry, nobody compares to you. I mean, you piss me off more than anyone else. x

louis_tomlinson: so so glad, har

its_curly_here: and i dont think it'd be different. You know how college students can be. I mean, i'm not so much older than them and in fact i know that if they saw you, they would spend their entire days looking for you or trying to get something from you. 

louis_tomlinson: yes, sure, but what about those professors? They probably are more experienced than college students (even if i'm not that sure) and they could do whatever they wanted to

its_curly_here: yeah, but they won't.

louis_tomlinson: pay attention, okay?

its_curly_here: yes, daddy. x

louis_tomlinson: good boy

its_curly_here: thanks. :*

louis_tomlinson: uhg harry

its_curly_here: ?

louis_tomlinson: miss you :( 

louis_tomlinson: can't make fun of you if i don't see your pretty face :(

its_curly_here: alright, hold on.

its_curly_here: *selfie attached* miss you too.

louis_tomlinson: okay, are you trying to kill me?

its_curly_here: *innocent face emojii* no, i'm not, daddy. x 

louis_tomlinson: well i think you are.

its_curly_here: nope, would never.

louis_tomlinson: you little idiot

its_curly_here: thanks. Always so nice with me. :)

louis_tomlinson: i know :))

\---

its_curlyhere: louu

louis_tomlinson: hey har

its_curlyhere: i'm in my room now. There's a really nice lad in here. 

its_curlyhere: ops, shouldnt have sent that.

louis_tomlinson: you kidding?

its_curlyhere: it's just my new roommate.

louis_tomlinson: your new roommate? What about your personal trainer? Have you already forgotten about him?

its_curlyhere: uhg, no, lou, he's always in my heart.

louis_tomlinson: mh. About your roommate, is he gay or something? 

its_curlyhere: i just talked to him for five minutes, i don't go around asking other people about their sexuality. Seriously, I don't think someone should say which sexuality he or she is. Who cares? If a person is interested in someone, then it is what it is.

louis_tomlinson: okay, now i want to kiss you cause you seriously are amazing harry. So. Can i call you please? 

Harry dials Louis' phone number in a matter of seconds,  
"Harry." Louis says softly, making the other boy smile.  
"Hey..."  
"Miss you so much, Har." Louis says, and Harry clears his throat or else he'll start saying Louis how sweet he is and how much he loves him.  
"Me too."  
"You can't talk right now, can you?" Louis asks, sensing something different in Harry's voice.  
"I can, don't worry. Just...not too much, you know?"  
"Yeah, okay. Want to kiss you so bad right now. Can I kiss my own lips or you think you'll get jealous?" Louis asks, making Harry smile.  
"You can try, but I'm not sure you'll succeed in it. What about me? Can I try with mine?"  
"Yes, you can try so we can be jealous together."  
"Yeah, good idea." Harry says awkwardly.  
He wishes he could say something more but he doesn't want his roommate -which is basically a stranger- to know things about himself.  
Louis gets it, though.  
"Har, I'm going to say something really cheeky. You ready?"  
Harry's still smiling because of Louis. How could he change so much in six years?  
A person can change just in one year, he learnt, but never would he ever thought about Louis becoming so nice and caring.  
And this time something's telling him that Louis' not pretending.  
He hopes he isn't pretending to be the person he is every single day.  
He hopes he won't have to hope so for too long, though.  
He just wants to trust Louis, why can't his mind leave him alone?  
"Yes, go ahead."  
"That text you sent me made me feel so proud of you for who you are. Maybe you're not going to believe me, but I'm so happy thanks to you, Har. You seriously are amazing, I'll never stop saying so. I don't know why you're trying to trust me, but believe me when I say I apprecciate it. Sorry if it sounds unrealistic." Louis says, and, here, Harry can feel Louis' saying the truth.  
It's just the way he says things, he can feel Louis is completely aware of what he's saying and he means it.  
"Thanks. Could say same the same about you." Harry simply says, and he hopes Louis will understand.  
"I agree with you, you know? People should stop with this bullshit. We're all people, so why does it matter so much if we have different skin colours, or a different sexual orientation?"  
Harry nods, without even noticing it, "Yes, absolutely, that's what I meant. It shouldn't be that relevant."  
"We'll have this conversation another time, yeah? I know you can't really talk, sorry for bothering you. Maybe you just wanted to sleep?"  
"Go check your chat and you'll see you're not the one who started it. Don't worry, really, it's okay."  
"Maybe we can keep texting?" Louis asks, and Harry's heartbeat speeds up at the hope he can hear in Louis' voice.  
"Sure, yeah."  
"Alright. Talk to you on there, then."  
"Yeah, bye."  
Harry ends the phone call and sighs, wishing he really could talk to Louis as he normally would.  
He looks for a moment at his roommate, Ian, who's playing on the computer, and goes back on his chat with Louis on kik.

 

its_curlyhere: didn't want my roommate to hear what I wanted to say, so...

its_curlyhere: thank you for everything you said, Lou. I'm glad you seem to be different now. Hope you're not pretending, but i don't think so.

louis_tomlinson: i'll keep on showing you i'm not pretending, if you're wondering

its_curly_here: you seem to be really motivated.

louis_tomlinson: i am

its_curlyhere: nice. And how is your job going? 

louis_tomlison: it's fine, i like it there. Seems like the students don't hate me yet.

its_curlyhere: wait, but it's a permament job or...?

louis_tomlinson: i'm going to work there as long as the previous teacher is ill and recovering, but from what the Headmaster told me it's not going to happen anytime soon.

its_curlyhere: and what about the students? and the other teachers? Did someone try to flirt with you?

louis_tomlinson: almost everyone, yeah

its_curlyhere: ...

louis_tomlison: but you do it better ;) x

its_curly_here: you're not being serious right now.  
   
louis_tomlinson: ops 

louis_tomlison: cant always be a good daddy, can i?

its_curlyhere: mh...

louis_tomlison: you moaning or what?

its_curlyhere: you're not funny.

louis_tomlison: i'm not but you are

its_curlyhere: okay. I hate you now.

louis_tomlinson: now? So what about yesterday?

its_curlyhere: yesterday doesn't matter any more.

louis_tomlinson: c'mon baby

louis_tomlinson: dont be mad at daddy :(

its_curlyhere: stoop lou

louis_tomlinson: mh? Its daddy for you

its_curlyhere: okay, then. Stop it.

louis_tomlison: stop it...?

its_curlyhere: please.

louis_tomlison: i'll try again

louis_tomlinson: stop it, ...?

its_curlyhere: you're such an idiot.

louis_tomlinson: yes, that, and also ...?

its_curlyhere: no.

louis_tomlison: is this a friendzone or something? How rude.

its_curlyhere: it is.

louis_tomlinson: okay, so i can finally hook up with my fridge.

its_curlyhere: i'm trying to be mad at you or at least pretend i am and you make me smile?

louis_tomlinson: :)

louis_tomlinson: wait, why you smiling? You're supposed to be jealous...

its_curlyhere: im just looking at it from a different point of view, thats it.

louis_tomlinson: you're funny

its_curlyhere: what did i do now?

louis_tomlinson: you're trying to be mad at me and you're lovely

its_curlyhere: ...

louis_tomlinson:  :))

its_curlyhere: why am i still texting you?

louis_tomlinson: cause you luv me <3

its_curlyhere: y o u  w i s h

louis_tomlinson: you're such a cutie har

its_curlyhere: is it positive or negative?

louis_tomlinson: negative babe

its_curlyhere: you've never called me babe in real life and now i want you to do it.

louis_tomlinson: dont remind me of the fact i cant kiss you right now please

its_curlyhere: you should stop making my heartbeat speed up that fast all of a sudden. I dont think its healthy.

louis_tomlinson: oh, i'm so sorry

its_curlyhere: you're not.

louis_tomlinson: you're right :)

its_curlyhere: uhm...lou?

louis_tomlinson: yeah?

its_curlyhere: gotta go to sleep. :(

louis_tomlinson: yeah, same. My eyes are basically already closed.

its_curlyhere: lou, you could have told me. By the way, gonna go now. Make sure to  dream about me.

it_curlyhere: ;) x

louis_tomlinson: how is it possible you're so weird that i like it?

its_curlyhere: ;))

louis_tomlinson: yeah, okay, right. Dont dream about me fucking you or you'll end up waking up your poor roommate.

louis_tomlinson: dont want him to hear you

its_curlyhere: shut up, bet you're already touching yourself.

louis_tomlinson: no, har, when my texts are written like that it's impossible I'm having a wank. I'm waiting for you to do so, dont worry.

its_curlyhere: okay, right, thanks and uhm GOOD NIGHT LOU. x

louis_tomlinson: night har <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ thank you to everyone who's been reading this fanfic for the last six months, which is when i've started it. Even if you're reading it from this morning, thank you. ~


	50. November 10th, 2016

louis_tomlinson: harryy 

its_curlyhere: lou. x

louis_tomlinson: went to the gym this evening

louis_tomlinson: felt so lonely without my favourite flat mate :(

its_curlyhere: feel you. Here everyone's a bad kisser.

louis_tomlinson: ha ha ha 

its_curlyhere: ?

louis_tomlinson: ohh you're so funny harry

its_curlyhere: but i was serious.

louis_tomlinson: i am, too.

its_curlyhere: no, you aren't.

louis_tomlinson: yes, i am.

its_curlyhere: no, you are not.

louis_tomlinson: yes, i am yes.

its_curlyhere: oh, right. You always think I'm funny. Unless i say a joke.

louis_tomlinson: oh poor harry i dont apprecciate you enough?

its_curlyhere: exactly.

louis_tomlinson: i'll try harder next time

its_curlyhere: uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh

louis_tomlinson: you okay?

its_curlyhere: love me, love me, love me

louis_tomlinson: never in a million years

its_curlyhere: uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh

louis_tomlinson: if you're trying to send me cyber moans, you're miserably failing babe

its_curlyhere: harder, harder, harder

louis_tomlinson: i mean, you could have just told me, you know? Like, 'Hey, Lou, want to do some sexting?'. Seriously, Harry, you dont have to feel ashamed, it's how our instinct work, it's nature, it's how we're supposed to be har

its_curlyhere: but...but...

louis_tomlinson: shh its okay i promise

its_curlyhere: but, lou.

louis_tomlinson: what, harry? spit it out

its_curlyhere: alright *takes a deep breath* but, lou, it was just a song.

louis_tomlinson: what, the harder harder thing?

its_curlyhere: exactly, you're unbelievably right for once.

louis_tomlinson:  :<

louis_tomlinson: unbelievably? What do you mean? Are you saying i dont usually understand? :<

its_curlyhere: no, lou, wait a second THAT FACE IS SO LOVELY LOU

louis_tomlinson: you mean...this one?  :<

its_curlyhere: YEAH 

louis_tomlinson: okay, but dont come on your screen, you dont want to ruin your phone.

its_curlyhere: i'm trying not to but it's not  
easy.

louis_tomlinson: i apprecciate your efforts then

its_curlyhere: thanks, lou.

louis_tomlinson: so, how was your day?

its_curlyhere: nice, yours?

louis_tomlinson: same here, yeah. There's this art teacher really nice who's the only one i can stand at school, so i'm glad we talk once in a while during the day

its_curlyhere: oh...

louis_tomlinson: he's gay, if you're wondering

its_curlyhere: you kidding?

louis_tomlinson: yes 

its_curlyhere: mh. So? Is he hot? Or at least, do you think he is?

louis_tomlinson: he is, but he's nothing compared to my favourite flat mate

its_curlyhere: yeah, sure.

louis_tomlinson: i'm serious now

its_curlyhere: mh, okay. Glad you have someone to talk to at work. Don't want you to get annoyed or bored when you're with the other teachers

louis_tomlinson: yeah, that's the point, they all are so boring and frustrated, they're mean to everyone with no reason and, really, zayn is the only person my age more or less and he's not like all the other annoying teachers

its_curlyhere: i like his name, it's pretty original. By the way, all the teachers are older than you, more or less?

louis_tomlinson: i agree with you and yes, they all are older. In fact once in a while some of them ask me what i'm doing there and how old i am cause i'm 'so young'

its_curlyhere: so now i also have to worry about the teachers, nice.

louis_tomlinson: hey, we are in the same situation. Dont complain

its_curlyhere: alright, yeah, but one day i'll come there where you work and kiss you in front of everyone, so that they'll know.

louis_tomlinson: har, thanks, but you cant. People talk a lot in schools, you know, and i'll end up losing my job again. For now i'm trying to hide as many things about me as i can

its_curlyhere: uhm...so you dont want to let everyone know...about us? 

its_curlyhere: i mean...i get it, of course. 

louis_tomlinson: harry, of course i want to, but i have to be careful at work, cause i fear i'll get fired again and i really dont want to look for another job. It wasnt easy to do it. 

its_curlyhere: its okay, lou.

louis_tomlinson: so? what about your roommate?

its_curlyhere: he tried to fuck me the other day. Dont know how i could reject him. It was so rude of me, wasnt it?

louis_tomlinson: stop it

its_curlyhere: what?

louis_tomlinson: harryy

its_curlyhere: okay, okay.

its_curlyhere: you want to know the truth about him? alright, you'll have it.

louis_tomlinson: so?

its_curlyhere: so...

its_curlyhere: tum tum tum tum 

louis_tomlinson: ?

its_curlyhere: suspense sounds

louis_tomlinson: mh

its_cutlyhere: if you want to know it, touch the press button.

louis_tomlinson: cant see any press button

louis_tomlinson: but i see a buttom in your icon

its_curlyhere: really funny louis, really really funny.

louis_tomlinson: thanks

louis_tomlinson: so?

its_curlyhere: so

louis_tomlinson: stop playing the stupid role

its_curlyhere: pizza rolls not gender roles.

louis_tomlinson: you're just making the situation worse

its_curlyhere: alright, nothing, he doesnt talk that much and he minds his own business. I like it.

louis_tomlinson: WOW YOU MADE IT

its_curlyhere: thank you, thank you.

louis_tomlinson: how was it? How did you feel? I mean, you finally replied to my question !!

its_curlyhere: i feel brave, powerful, and invincible. Thank you for making me experience this.

louis_tomlinson: anytime harry

its_curlyhere: i have a question

louis_tomlinson: :->

its_curlyhere: lovely. So, did you dream about me yesterday?

louis_tomlinson: oh, yeah :->

its_curlyhere: yeah? What was i doing?

louis_tomlinson: there wasnt just you in the dream, calm down. You really want to know it?

its_curlyhere: yes, i want to know it.

louis_tomlinson: just if you tell me how many times you usually dream about me

louis_tomlinson: during the day

louis_tomlinson: when you shouldnt do it

louis_tomlinson: but you do it anyway cause you like being a bad kitten sometimes :<

its_curlyhere: louis, okay, you're pretty important for me, but now dont exaggerate. I barely think about you during the day and in general. I mean, c'mon.

louis_tomlinson: alright, yeah, i know you always think about me cause i always think about you, yes, i admit it, and it's painful sometimes. And i'm not just talking about my dick.

its_curlyhere: okay, yeah, so?

louis_tomlinson: so i dont remember the dream

its_curlyhere: uhg

louis_tomlinson: i'll try again tonight

louis_tomlinson: what about you? did you have a nice dream about me?

its_curlyhere: yes, but it was weird. We were in a kitchen. You were cooking something and then you looked at me as if I'd told you something that caught your attention, and i was confused because i was just staring at different objects in the room. When i saw you were looking at me like that i almost jumped, cause, honestly, you were kind of creepy.

its_curlyhere: so i didnt know what else to do, and i just kept staring at you, and at some point you stopped cooking and kissed me. And we kissed and kissed and kissed and then- CENSURED.

louis_tomlinson: i cant believe you actually had a dream about me, and that it was weird and that you actually told me what it was about. Are you serious or have you invented a random dream to trick me, mh?

its_curlyhere: i'm serious! And believe me, this is more embarassing for me than how it is for you.

louis_tomlinson: so you make dirty dreams about me, eh?

its_curlyhere: not at all.

louis_tomlinson: no, and my name is Jonas

its_curlyhere: listen, you dont know why it was censured. You'll never know. 

louis_tomlinson: i will survive

its_curlyhere: that's a good daddy. 

louis_tomlinson: thanks har

its_curlyhere: lou

louis_tomlinson: baby 

its_curlyhere: mh...im tired, and i want you to be here with me. 

its_curlyhere: wait, i wasnt supposed to send it.

louis_tomlinson: me too, my bed is been looking for you for ages

louis_tomlinson: but it just wants you to sleep on it, dont worry

its_curlyhere: i can feel it's desperately crying my name

louis_tomlinson: no, wait 

louis_tomlinson: that would be me

its_curlyhere: you wish

louis_tomlinson: YOU wish. Pft

its_curlyhere: okay, yes, but just a little bit.

louis_tomlinson: :->

louis_tomlinson: if you're tired, go sleep harry

its_curlyhere: dont want to...

louis_tomlinson: tomorrow morning you'll be grateful if you go sleep now

louis_tomlinson: you're powerful, remember? Powerful boys like you have to sleep at least for seven hours

its_curlyhere: but i want to text you and annoy you.

louis_tomlinson: you can do that tomorrow, yeah? And if it makes you feel better, im going to sleep too

its_curlyhere: uhm, okay. See you soon on kik. Good night. x

louis_tomlinson: good night, har :) x


	51. November 12th, 2016

its_curlyhere: uhm...lou? Can i call you?

\---

louis_tomlinson: shit, harry, sorry i was in class. Is everything okay?

its_curlyhere: yes, sure.

louis_tomlinson: har...

louis_tomlinson: i can call you now

louis_tomlinson: is it okay?

its_curlyhere: no, lou, dont worry. 

louis_tomlinson: if you dont want to talk about it any more then i wont keep on bothering you

its_curlyhere: cant talk right now. On the phone i mean. Using my voice.

louis_tomlinson: tell me whatever you want me to do and i will. For example, if you want to keep texting me, if you want to call me later, if you want to take a nap

louis_tomlinson: i dont know

louis_tomlinson: hope you're okay

its_curlyhere: im feeling better now, thanks.

its_curlyhere: its just that sometimes i feel really lonely and everyone is better than me here. Everyone has extremely high grades, and then there's me. 

louis_tomlinson: harry

louis_tomlinson: what 

louis_tomlinson: are you saying.

louis_tomlinson: you're fucking amazing, harry. You're amazing. Never doubt that. I swear you are.

its_curlyhere: want to talk to you right now...

louis_tomlinson: im calling you

its_curlyhere: no, lou, wait...

louis_tomlinson: what? I need to hear you're okay because i know you arent and i dont want you to feel like shit

its_curlyhere: i really cant talk right now, i'm sorry...

louis_tomlinson: did someone tell you all that bullshit?

its_curlyhere: uhm nope.

louis_tomlinson: uhm nope? Harry

its_curlyhere: alright, maybe yes.

louis_tomlinson: who the fuck was it?

its_curlyhere: nobody.

louis_tomlinson: alright, as you prefer 

its_curlyhere: lou

its_curlyhere: its just that...

its_curlyhere: i dont know what to do...

its_curlyhere: everythings so messed up...

its_curlyhere: please promise me you'll tell me if you go with somebody else.

louis_tomlinson: wait

louis_tomlinson: what was that, harry? Is it me the problem? Am i making you feel like shit? Again?

its_curlyhere: no, it's not you. It's just that...i'm not there with you and i feel like...i mean, i feel like...i dont know what's going on there so i just want to make sure you didnt change your mind about me.

louis_tomlinson: harry, i promise you i will never do something so stupid and selfish again. I know this is just a text, but i need to tell you this. I want to be with you, and thats it. Just. You.

its_curlyhere: okay...thanks?

louis_tomlinson: what about the other things?

its_curlyhere: uhm, nothing. I was just...trying to find some excuses to talk to you and...yes, i'm pretty ridiculous.

louis_tomlinson: you are not

its_curlyhere: what are you up to?

louis_tomlinson: i'm at home, cooking

its_curlyhere: oh...what you cooking?

louis_tomlinson: pasta pasta pasta

its_curlyhere: uh, nice.

louis_tomlinson: what about you?

its_curlyhere: i'm in my room now, just finished a class.

louis_tomlinson: are you having a final exam at the end of the three weeks?

its_curlyhere: yeah, it's like a certificate, you know? 

louis_tomlinson: wow har

louis_tomlinson: so proud of what you're doing

louis_tomlinson: so much

its_curlyhere: thanks, lou.

louis_tomlinson: oh oh my pasta is ready !!

its_curlyhere: yeah? 

louis_tomlinson: yeah :->

louis_tomlinson: *selfie with pasta attached* 

louis_tomlinson: look !! i've been waiting for the whole morning to eat that 

its_curlyhere: can i have a taste of that?

louis_tomlinson: yeah, sure. *feeds him with some pasta*

its_curlyhere: thanks, but i was referring to you, not to the pasta.

louis_tomlinson: (: alright then :)

its_curlyhere: so? I'm still waiting.

louis_tomlinson: which body part do you want? Like, an arm, a finger, i don't know, let me know

its_curlyhere: actually, i want to eat your hair. They seem really soft.

louis_tomlinson: it's perfect, i'm going to send you a strand of hair via bluetooth, yeah?

its_curlyhere: thanks, lou. My bluetooth is 'loupleasendmeyourhair'.

louis_tomlinson: alright, i'm sending them now.

its_curlyhere: okay, it's here. Finally.

louis_tomlinson: gotta go now, but you have fun with my hair

its_curlyhere: sure thing, lou. Bye...and have a good lunch.

louis_tomlinson: bye bye har, thanks x

 

\---

Louis' mobile phone starts ringing right when Louis was trying to fall asleep.  
"Yeah?" he lazily asks, not even seeing who's calling him.  
"Lou!"  
Louis' eyes snap open when he hears Harry's voice.  
"Harry? You okay?"  
Louis checks the time on his screen, and sees it's almost 2 a.m.  
His heart starts racing like crazy at the thought of Harry being in danger.  
"Lou, miss you so so much, Lou. Come here with me, please, need you. Lou..."  
Alright, Harry probably had a couple of drinks and doesn't know what he's saying.  
Louis can hear it from his voice.  
"Har, where are you?"  
"Miss you, Lou. Why can't you come here? Please, Lou? Please?"  
Louis sighs and yawns at the same time.  
"Har, I'm sorry, I have work tomorrow and all the other days. I'd be there with you if I could. Now tell me, where are you? Tell me you're okay."  
"I'm not okay!", Louis almost stands up at that, but what Harry says afterwards makes him feel slightly relieved, "I miss you!"  
"Miss you too, Har. Please, tell me where you are. You need something?"  
"Need you."  
Louis can't help but smile, Harry's so irresistible.  
"And...uhm...I was...somewhere...I think it was a pub or something..."  
Louis yawns again and tries not to worry about Harry, "You alone?"  
"Uhm...there was...this...uhm...wait..."  
Louis sighs and tries to understand what Harry's saying.  
"I was with other people...but...now I'm in my room...'cause I wasn't having fun there. Without you."  
Louis feels relieved once again at Harry's statement, "Alright, how are you feeling? You need to throw up?"  
"Nope! I'm okay, I just had a drink. But I'm not sure I know what I'm saying. Uhg."  
"Drink some water, yeah?"  
"You sure you're not with somebody else? You can tell me, it's okay. You can do whatever you want, just tell me the truth." Harry says all of a sudden, instead of replying to Louis.  
That makes Louis' feeling of guilty increase.  
"Harry, I don't care about the others. Honestly, I just care about you, okay?" Louis asks softly.  
"Okay, Lou...and...uhm...sorry if I woke you up. I'm really sorry. Uhm...I'm just so confused..."  
"I hope it'll fade away with the passing of time. Told you I'm going to show you I really care about you. Because I really do. I probably always have." Louis says, and he knows he won't be able to sleep. It's too late, now that Harry is saying all these things and Louis keeps feeling more guilty every second that passes.  
"Okay...I think...I think I'm going to call Nick."  
Louis sighs again, "Har, it's late, I suggest you to call him tomorrow, you know, you'll wake him up if you call him now. If you don't want to sleep I can talk to you, yeah?" Louis asks hopefully, trying to make Harry feel better.  
"I already bothered you way too much, Lou."  
"It's okay. Want to talk to you. You never bother me, you idiot." Louis says, smiling, and he can hear Harry's chuckle.  
"Alright, thanks Lou. So, you're not involved in something with...someone? Like...uhm...yeah, someone?" Harry asks, still unsure.  
"I am, Harry, and it is just you." Louis says, making Harry smile, and that's how they spend the next two hours.


	52. November 15th, 2016

its_curlyhere:  LOUI

its_curlyhere: S*

its_curlyhere: come here on kik c'mon c'mon c'mon

its_curlyhere: need help. need advice. need something. 

its_curlyhere: LOU.

its_curlyhere: alright, gonna keep texting you untill you're online.

its_curlyhere: you think it'd be a good method?

its_curlyhere: now that i think about it, it isn't. Cause now you probably are wasting time reading all the texts i sent you instead of replying me right away. But, please, understand this is an emergency. Maybe I should call you. But if you can't reply to my texts, then how could you reply to my calls? Let's be honest here, if you knew I'm looking for you, you'd take your phone and open kik as soon as you could. Admit it.

louis_tomlinson: harry you're an idiot

louis_tomlinson: and i like it, but calm down, i was peeing. What you need, sunshine? Yes, of course i'd open kik as soon as possible if i knew you were sending me your nice texts

its_curlyhere: LOU 

its_curlyhere: WAS GONNA CALL YOU

louis_tomlinson: babe, you okay?

its_curlyhere: first of all, no, i'm not, cause you used that 'babe' nick with me. Second of all, i'm in a park, alright? Don't ask stupid/irrelevant questions PLEASE. I'm serious now. There's a girl who's trying to go away from two other boys (hope they're not men. Like, the old ones.) and i dont know what to do.

its_curlyhere: i mean, they still havent seen me cause im pretty distant from them, but what am i supposed to do? I cant go away and leave her alone! There's nobody else in here.

louis_tomlinson: you're the sweetest person i've ever met. Now that I clarified that, Harry, what are you doing in a park at 10 p.m.?

louis_tomlinson: if it's dangerous for the girl, than it's dangerous for you too

its_curlyhere: NO UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS LOU

louis_tomlinson: sorry, but im worried. I dont think you should go there and try to do something for the girl. You dont know what's happening. You dont know the situation. Im sorry Harry, but it's the truth. Think about it

its_curlyhere: i wont never let something like that happen if i can avoid it. 

louis_tomlinson: i dont like it neither, but you have to be reasonable. What if you'll end up being in danger? I couldnt do anything for you. If i was there, i'd probably help that poor girl

its_curlyhere: i have an idea. Bye bye Lou.

louis_tomlinson: harry no

louis_tomlinson: wait harry dont go

louis_tomlinson: harry

louis_tomlinson: for fucks sake harry

louis_tomlinson: harry...

louis_tomlinson: please tell me you didnt go there

louis_tomlinson: alright you went there

louis_tomlinson: thanks, now im going to have a heart attack and it's your fault

\---

its_curlyhere: im so glad for what i did. :)

louis_tomlinson: HARRY

louis_tomlinson: H A R R Y

its_curlyhere: hi, lou.

louis_tomlinson: you okay? how are you feeling? you alive? How?

its_curlyhere: i'm fine, thanks. Went there where there was the girl and the other two boys and said an excuse to let them know she was with me. Don't know why they looked at me for a moment and long story short they disappeared. Now the girl should be feeling better. Hope so.

louis_tomlinson: harry...

louis_tomlinson: i think you're an angel. Are you an angel? Or something very close to that

its_curlyhere: nope, lou. Thanks, though.

louis_tomlinson: you sure you're okay? They didn't follow you, right? You're okay?

its_curlyhere: i'm okay, lou, yeah. Nobody followed me, i just made sure that girl was okay. She was so nice, lou, she thanked me for something like twenty times in five minutes right when she found out i didnt want to do something bad to her.

louis_tomlinson: you're such a nice person.I'm so proud of you. Always

its_curlyhere: it's nothing.

louis_tomlinson: where is she?

its_curlyhere: her mother picked her up a minute ago. Now I'm heading back to my room.

louis_tomlinson: could you please explain me why were you in a park, and probably still are, at night? 

its_curlyhere: wanted to take a little break alone. This park is very close to where i'm staying, and i didn't know it was 'dangerous'.

its_curlyhere: and this kind of things happen everywhere.

its_curlyhere: sadly.

louis_tomlinson: alright, harry. You know what you're doing. Just, pay attention please

its_curlyhere: yes, lou. Dont worry. x

louis_tomlinson: miss you

its_curlyhere: cant hear you.

louis_tomlinson: miss you

its_curlyhere: im sorry, still cant hear you.

louis_tomlinson: but 

its_curlyhere: not my fault. :)

louis_tomlinson: oh, c'mon

its_curlyhere: ((::))

louis_tomlinson: you dont have to hear me. Just read

its_curlyhere: cant hear you.

louis_tomlinson: you're being very rude now, you know that?

its_curlyhere: oh, no. Why?

louis_tomlinson: ...

louis_tomlinson: harryy

louis_tomlinson: you're friendzoning me again!

its_curlyhere: lou, i dont want you to risk your job again like the last client you had. Remember you're my personal trainer.

louis_tomlinson: but

its_curlyhere: no, lou. Please.

louis_tomlinson: alright. Im going to cry now

its_curlyhere: please, do it in a cool way.

louis_tomlinson: thanks. I'll cry, then. But in a cool way. In a minute.

its_curlyhere: it's okay, lou. Go ahead.

louis_tomlinson: alright, harry, it was nice texting you, you cant even imagine, but i'm tired so

louis_tomlinson: good night, har xx

its_curlyhere: okay, lou. Night xx

\---

its_curlyhere: miss you too, by the way...


	53. November 23rd, 2016

its_curlyhere: lou?

louis_tomlinson: har <3

its_curlyhere: uhm...i have something to tell you

louis_tomlinson: yeah?

its_curlyhere: nick called me. Said he's in front of your door waiting for you cause he wants to talk with you...

its_curlyhere: apparently he rang at your doorbell but you didnt hear him, i guess?

louis_tomlinson: he gonna kill me?

its_curlyhere: yes. You've been bad.

louis_tomlinson: oh, no, baby. That was you

its_curlyhere: nope. I'm sure it was you.

louis_tomlinson: alright. It was the two of us, then

its_curlyhere: yes, probably. And Nick's complaining right now. Please, make him stop?

louis_tomlinson: but i didnt hear the doorbell. Is this a prank?

its_curlyhere: nope, go open the door and you'll see it isn't. He didn't tell me why he's there, but i don't think he's carrying weapons with him.

louis_tomlinson: wow harry, thats so reassuring

its_curlyhere: i know right?

louis_tomlinson: gonna go check if there really is someone at the doorbell, even if i doubt that

its_curlyhere: alright, lou. Let me know if he's there and if you'll still be alive.

louis_tomlinson: yeah will do, har

 

Louis stands up from his couch and slowly heads to the door, lazily opening it and looking at the only person he didn't expect to see in front of him.  
He feels something changing in his body, it lights up all of a sudden, an overwhelming feeling that he's missed in those last few weeks he spent without the only person who makes him feel so happy is creeping inside him.  
Louis parts his lips in surprise and stares at Harry, feeling his heart beating faster than usual, finally feeling alive again.  
Harry has the power to make his mood change, to cheer Louis up mostly, to make him feel better, and as much as Louis knows it's wrong and he shouldn't let someone be that important for him, he couldn't care less.  
"Hi, Lou." Harry says, smiling, reminding Louis how bad he's missed his adorable dimples and the way his green eyes light up when he smiles.  
Reminding Louis how powerful Harry and his smiles are.  
Louis doesn't know what to say, but he's too happy and excited to see Harry and doesn't want to disappoint his -guess who- boyfriend with a wrong reaction, so he just smiles -he can't help it- and gets extremely close to Harry, lifting himself up on his tip toes and wrapping his arms aroud Harry's body.  
He buries his face in Harry's neck and squeezes him.  
Harry smiles even more at that, hugging Louis back and letting a little chuckle escape his mouth.  
"Harry." Louis says, his voice muffled because Louis' still squeezing Harry's body in his arms.  
"Hey. Lou." Harry says back, leaving a kiss on Louis head.  
"Har." Louis says, because he can't believe Harry's here, and he missed him so much he wants to cry for how glad he is that now Harry's back.  
And this is such a stupid thought, Louis shouldn't be that childish, he really shouldn't, but he can't help if he got way too attached to Harry.  
Harry makes his life so much better, he makes Louis so much better.  
And Louis loves him like crazy.  
The two of them enter the flat and Louis closes he door with his foot, for he's still tangled to Harry's body.  
"Missed you." Louis says, kissing Harry's jawline. The following second he's already reasting his head on Harry's body, closing his eyes and smiling.  
"Missed you too, Lou." Harry whispers, and holds Louis even closer to his body.  
"Thought you'd come back in three days. You're okay, right?"  
"Yes, Lou, of course I am. What about you?"  
Louis takes a deep breath in an attempt to make his heartbeat slow down -as if it'd be that easy with Harry staring at him with those green eyes of his.  
"Yeah." he breathes, and Harry kisses him again.  
They slowly step back to look at each other, but Louis holds Harry's hand in his own, caressing the back of it with his thumb.  
Harry stares for a couple of seconds at their hands. The feeling of solitude and all the doubts he had not even five hours ago are now making their way out of Harry's body and mind, leaving love, apprecciation and a sense of peaceful state of mind in Harry.  
"Surprise." Harry softly says, pecking Louis' lips as if they're the most precious things in the world.  
They're both smiling when Harry pulls away, and Louis can't help but mimic what Harry just did.  
So they kiss slowly, thinking about how they missed this, how they missed each other, and the warm feeling of their bodies so close.  
Louis pulls away some minutes later, looking at Harry.  
"Missed you." he says again, and he earns one of Harry's breathtaking smiles.  
"Can't hear you." Harry whispers, referring to the texts he sent Louis a week before.  
"Oh, right. You can't. Poor Harry." Louis says, smiling, and Harry kisses a spot underneath his ear.  
"I'm sorry, Lou." Harry whispers again, making Louis' skin cover up by goosebumps, which doesn't pass unnoticed by Harry.  
"That's okay, I'm just going to repeat I missed you until I feel too pathetic to keep going."  
Harry smiles and nods, "I think it'll work."  
"But now you're talking to me. You can hear me." Louis says, kissing Harry's cheeks.  
Harry's still smiling when he closes his eyes because of Louis' soft kisses.  
"Yes, now I can hear you. Before I couldn't."  
Louis stares at Harry for some seconds, until Harry opens his eyes and looks at him.  
Harry's hands rest on Louis' shoulders, and he caresses them, and Louis puts his hands on Harry's hips, getting closer to him.  
"Yeah, sure. You're friendzoning me again, Harry."  
"I'm not. It's not my fault if my ears don't always work. That's rude of you." Harry says, with that raspy voice of his so deep and relaxing Louis just wants to fuck it out of him and then make it come back, because, really, it's addictive.  
Louis doesn't really like thinking about this stuff so often, but it's not his fault if Harry's -literally- the most attractive and amazing person he's ever seen. And this is just an understatement  
"Louis." Harry chuckles, still looking at Louis as if he's the sun -which he is, according to Harry.  
"What?" Louis stops thinking about the way Harry used to moan underneath him for his own -and Harry's- sake, and blushes, as if Harry was able to read in his mind.  
"You didn't hear me, now it's you." Harry says, and Louis has to take a deep breath to stop his thoughts.  
He doesn't really intentionally think about a certain type of thoughts, so it's hard for him to stop following them.  
"Oh? I'm...yeah, now I can hear you. Yeah."  
Harry looks at him for a few moments and Louis is starting to doubt Harry's actually reading in his mind.  
It'd be very embarassing.  
"What were you thinking about?" Harry asks as if he knew.  
"Your voice. It's just- it's...like...it's irresistible. Something a little bit more than that."  
Harry smiles and -yeah- his cheeks definitely blush.  
Louis' currently asking himself how is it possible to be that gorgeous.  
"I fucking missed you, for fuck's sake, Harry." Louis says, cupping Harry's cheeks -which now are burning under his touch- and kisses him again.  
This time their lips move faster, in a different way, and Harry's hands are on Louis' hips now, squeezing them as much as he can -he hopes to find his skin at least slightly bruised tomorrow.  
"Missed you too, Lou." Harry says, and Louis bites his lower lip, smiling.  
"So now you can hear me?" Louis says, and he pushes his tongue in Harry's mouth right when he whisper a 'yeah'.  
Harry of course kisses him back, and when he pulls away some minutes later, Louis makes him step back until his back touches the door.  
And they kiss again.  
This is how they spend the following hour.

 

Louis pulls away and steps back, looking at Harry and at his lips which now are of a darker colour, because of Louis and his teeth.  
"You had dinner, right? Want me to cook something for you?"  
Harry smiles and shakes his head, and he seems shy all of a sudden.  
"No, what? You didn't have dinner?"  
Harry takes Louis' hand in his own, "Already had dinner before coming back here. Went visit my mother and left my things at my place. Then I tricked you." Harry says, smiling, and Louis remembers the texts Harry sent him.  
"Knew there was something weird. By the way...alright, what do you want? You done sucking on my face?"  
"Yes, just wanted to say hi." Harry says, squeezing Louis' hand.  
"Oh, so what would have happened if you wanted to kiss me and watch a movie?"  
Harry playfully slaps Louis' chest and smiles, "Stop it."  
"Boring. So you want to leave me here? Alone?" Louis asks, making Harry nod.  
"Yeah." Harry says, but then the two of them start kissing again, and they don't realize how fast time passes, and when they're satisfied with their kissing session they find out it's 3 a.m.  
Oh, well.

\- the following day - 

"Lou?" Harry calls from his couch, waiting for Louis to come back into the living room.  
They had dinner a while ago and Harry said he wanted to watch a film, this is why he's sitting on the couch, but Louis is in the kitchen, and Harry doesn't know why.  
They basically live together, yeah.  
"Hold on!" Louis says from the kitchen, finally heading to the living room.  
Now Louis is in front of Harry, looking down at him, and Harry's looking back at him.  
They both have this unexplicable light in their eyes while looking at each other which is just lovely, and links them in a way nobody would think it's possible.  
"Lou." Harry says, and Louis puts a hand in between his hair, caressing it.  
"I'm here."  
Harry smiles and closes his eyes, enjoying Louis' touch.  
"Yeah." he says, and Louis tries not to think about how Harry's voice affects his dick.  
"I have something for you." Louis says, making Harry open his eyes and look up at him with curiosity.  
"What?"  
"Shh. Lay down."  
Harry stares at Louis for two seconds or something, and does as he's told, ignoring the goosebumps on his skin.  
He likes Louis' demanding tone.  
He 'likes' it way too much.  
"Good boy. Now, stay still." Louis says, lowering his voice and positioning himself over Harry's body, without putting any weight on him.  
Harry forgets how to breath.  
"Breath, Har." Louis says, making it more difficult for Harry to think about breathing.  
"Yeah."  
And all of a sudden Louis' lips are touching Harry's neck, and Louis' slowly kissing Harry, and he's making him go crazy, because nobody kisses Harry better than Louis, and Harry wants Louis so much he could cry right now.  
But then he starts laughing because Louis stops kissing him and starts tickling him everywhere, and Harry clearly didn't think Louis would have done something like that.  
And Harry's laughing with Louis, because the situation is funny, because they both are hard, but Louis' tickling Harry and they can't stop laughing.  
"Lou!" Harry exclaims, laughing, and Louis replies with a chuckle.  
"Can't hear you." he says, and keeps tickling Harry.  
"Please, stoop!" Harry exclaims again, still laughing.  
"No way!"  
"Please!"  
"Never!"  
"Lou!"  
"Yeah, it's me."  
Harry's laughing so hard his chest and stomach are hurting, and it's one of the best feeling he's ever experienced in his life.  
He probably has never laughed so hard before.  
"Stop, please, Lou- please!"  
Louis laughs at Harry and stops, then he kisses Harry's cheek and caresses his hips.  
"You did so well." Louis whispers in Harry's ear, and Harry thinks he should breath.  
But he can't.  
"You okay?" Louis asks, and Harry remembers how to breath.  
He takes a deep breath and chuckles, smiling, because he's happy to see Louis and happy to spend his time with him and he's happy Louis' just made him laugh so hard to make his stomach hurt.  
He's happy.  
"Yeah, and...yeah. Thanks." he says, because he remembers what Louis said about him doing something well.  
"I really have something for you, though. Wanna see it?" Louis asks, standing up and looking at Harry, who's still laying on the couch as if he's just got fucked by Louis.  
Harry nods, because he doesn't know if he's able to move his other muscles for now, and Louis smiles and takes a little package from the coffee table -which Harry has just noticed- and hands it to his -parapapan- boyfriend.  
Harry sits up and takes the package in his hand, looking at it.  
"Is this for me?" Harry asks, overwhelmed just at the thought, and Louis rolls his eyes.  
"No, it's for me. Thank you, Harry, it was so nice of you!" Louis says sarcastically, making Harry chuckle.  
"Alright, thanks, but you didn't have to." Harry says, opening the package.  
It seems to be a book from the outside, but it's impossible.  
Louis' smiling while looking at Harry, he really can't wait to see his reaction, he's been waiting for weeks to see it.  
When Harry finishes opening the package, he's smiling so widely that his mouth hurts.  
"Lou..." Harry says, completely fazed.  
He's tracing the book cover with his fingers as if to make sure it really is what he thinks he is.  
It's not that he thinks the thing in front of him is not real, there's actually written 'Milk and Honey' on it, so it has to be what it is.  
Louis' still looking at Harry, a fond smile on his lips as he thinks about how amazing Harry is.  
Harry, who's looking through the pages of he book and smiling while reading.  
Sometimes he smiles, sometimes his expression becomes a little sad, sometimes Louis can't even explain his reaction.  
"Lou." Harry says again, looking at Louis and standing up as Louis did not even five minutes before.  
Louis looks at him, now he's the one who's looking up, and smiles while holding Harry's hips in his hands.  
Harry's dimples, his smile, and the way he's looking at Louis is enough to make Louis think all the efforts he did to buy the book were absolutely worth it.  
"Thank you." Harry says, and then pecks Louis' lips.  
"It's nothing." Louis says on his lips, caressig his hips.  
"You know it's not like that." Harry says, and Louis just wants to say he shouldn't thank him, because Louis wasn't a nice person, he doesn't deserve Harry, but he's so grateful he has him now, he's happy if he makes him happy, even if objects shouldn't make you feel better.  
But this is an exception.  
And Louis loves Harry so much he wishes he could say so to him, and tell him he loves his voice and his eyes, that twinkle in them that Harry manages to have everytime he's excited about something, and -the most amazing thing is that- Louis knows Harry gets excited when he has to see him, because Louis does too, and he can easily read Harry's eyes and know why he reacts in a certain way, most of the time.  
"Harry." Louis says, but he stops as soon as he realizes what he's going to say.  
Harry's still looking at him -of course-, because why should he stop?  
"You're welcome." he just says, because it's the only thing he can say right now, instead of 'I love you more than anything else in the world and universe', right?  
Harry smiles and kisses him, thinking the same things Louis' thinking about right now.

 

Surprisingly -like, surprisingly- Louis and Harry are snogging, but this time they're not on a couch, nor in a kitchen, but they are in Harry's bedroom, which is the worse -or the best- thing that could have happened.  
Because, well, they're on the bed now, Louis' on top of Harry, and they're snogging as if they're going to fuck in -who knows- two seconds?  
And of course Harry's mind has to remind him stuff about his past, and Harry's not ready to have other regrets, he's not fucking ready, he doesn't want his mind to remind him that he could have been more careful this time.  
So Harry tries to say something, but it sounds like something very close to a moan, ad Louis takes it as an encouragment, and, really, he can't stop his hips when he grinds on Harry's.  
This time Harry actually lets out a moan, because he's rock hard and that friction Louis gave him was just so good, it was all he needed.  
But now he needs more.  
But he doesn't know what to do.  
Why is he worrying so much over sex?  
Maybe he should talk to Louis.  
Does Louis even care about him? Or is he just taking advantage of him? Again?  
Why did Harry trust Louis? Why is he trusting him now?  
Why does it have to be so complicated?  
Harry tries to pull away, but he's pressed on the matress, so he doesn't succeed.  
It's not that Louis' pressing him, he's not putting his weight on him, maybe just a little bit in the lower body, but they're both holding one another and now Louis just doesn't understand Harry wants to stop.  
So after the second time Harry tries to say something, Louis immediately stops and looks at Harry, slightly confused about his reaction but also a little bit concerned.  
Every doubt Harry had until the second before is fading away at the sight of Louis' eyes.  
See? There's something wrong with him.  
"Sorry, Har. Didn't mean to, but you're just...irresistible, you know? I sound so stupid right now, for fuck's sake." Louis says, and Harry at first doesn't understand what he's talking about, but then it hits him.  
Was Louis talking about the fact he grinded on him for a second?  
Harry loves Louis so freaking much, wow.  
Why does he always change his mind so fast?  
"No, Lou, you don't. Just...can we...uhm...can we talk for a minute?" Harry says, and Louis looks more concerned than before.  
"Yeah, sure." Louis says a bit uncertain, because he fears he did something he shouldn't, but he didn't want to scare Harry. He just couldn't help it.  
Louis rolls on the other side of the bed and looks at Harry, who's looking at the ceiling.  
If he looks at Louis, he won't be able to say what he wants to say, because he's already too overwhelmed, and Louis would just overwhelm him more.  
"Harry?" Louis asks, sitting up and looking at him.  
He's sweating now because of how much he's getting worried. He doesn't like the look on Harry's face, partly because he can't understand what kind of look is.  
Harry takes a deep breath and sits up, looking down at his hands.  
"I was just...thinking about something...and...uhm...Lou...I mean, I-" Harry takes another deep breath- "I don't...I'm sorry."  
Louis frowns in confusion and takes Harry's hand in his own. Harry tenses up, but doesn't remove his hand.  
Louis' heartbeat at least doesn't keep on accellerating.  
"Harry...what's wrong, baby? Thought you were okay..."  
Harry wants to cry because of Louis' voice, and how sweet it is in this moment.  
So he squeezes his hand.  
"I'm just scared, you know? And I literally sound like someone who's never done this before, which is okay, I guess, I mean, yeah, but-" Harry looks at Louis' and almost chokes on his breath seeing Louis' concerned look, his eyes don't have that amazing twinkle that was there before.  
"Why, Har? Didn't mean to make you feel so...torn."  
Harry takes a deep breath.  
He can't stop looking at Louis now.  
"You know why. I know you're...different now, but...I just can't...I can't trust you that much, and so soon. Lou...I mean, I want to, I really do, but I can't. And in these last three weeks I thought a lot about us...and, I'm glad we're trying to make things work, but, Lou...I just feel so insecure, and I don't know what to do..." Harry says, his voice is already less steady than how it usually is.  
Louis feels like someone's trying to choke him for how tight his throat already feels, and he knows this is just the beginning of a long conversation.  
"For example, when we were...kissing...and you...I mean, I thought about the last time we did this. You know, the last time we fucked?" Harry clears his throat and looks down, because he feels ashamed of something he didn't even do and can't look at Louis' frown any more.  
Louis squeezes Harry's hand and tries his best not to react to Harry's words.  
"I...thought about it just for a second, and I felt so bad...maybe because I still care about you, and...Lou...I'm sorry, but you were so different, and now I'm so confused, and it's like a punishment I get everyday, I don't know why. When I'm happy my mind has to remind me what we did, and I know it's the same for you. I know we talked about this before, and I didn't really mentioned the way I feel not to make things worse. But...Lou, I just...I think I need you, but..." Harry doesn't end his sentence, but it's okay.  
Louis' eyes are watery now, but just a little bit. When Harry looks at them, he has to control everything in his body and stop thinking about the tears that want to come out.  
They look at each other for a minute or something, and Louis gets closer to Harry, his body now resting on his knees and not on his bum any more. He brushes his fingers on Harry's cheek and makes sure Harry wants to kiss him by brushing his lips over Harry's.  
"I don't know what to do." Louis whispers on Harry's lips, and Harry actually shivers.  
"Har. I don't know what to do."  
"Me neither." Harry says with the same tone, and they both close their eyes to kiss.  
It's just a simple kiss on the lips, yet it feels so intimate...  
"If you want me to go away, right now, I will. I'll do whatever you please, Harry."  
Harry quickly shakes his head, "No, Lou. I want you here. I'm just so confused..."  
Louis pecks Harry's lips again.  
"Harry." he whispers, kissing his cheeks over and over again.  
Harry still has his eyes closed.  
"I know how you feel. I just don't like it's all my fault, but-"  
Harry opens his eyes and looks at Louis.  
"It's my fault, too. I was an idiot."  
Louis frowns, "Don't say that again."  
"But I was."  
"What do you think I was? An idiot, so shut up." Louis says, not any more in a whisper.  
Harry sighs and lays down, looking at Louis.  
"Kiss me. Tell me I can trust you, if I really can, and make me forget about everything bad that happened. Please, Lou."  
Louis looks at him for a moment and slowly lays on top of Harry, resting his weight on his elbows.  
"Just if you'll do the same to me."  
Harry nods and crosses his legs with Louis' ones.  
"I will. I just want to trust you."  
Louis looks straight into Harry's eyes, and he's never been that serious before, it's like he went past his limits, "You can trust me, Harry."  
Louis kisses Harry's forehead and looks at him.  
"I keep thinking about the past." Harry whispers, holding Louis' body in his hands and looking at him with those sad eyes that are making Louis wish he could change the past and stop making Harry feel so hurt.  
"Me too. But we can't live in the past. Let's just stop living in the past. It's sad."  
Harry slightly smiles, Louis mimics him.  
"It really is."  
"Let's live the present. Just the present." Louis says now, more motivated than before.  
"Let's live the present." Harry repeats with a lower voice, and Louis leans down to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the story.  
> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos and comments. Hope you liked it. :)


End file.
